Seeing Through the Dark Glass

I didn't really want to start this blog.

The idea of instant publication is an unsettling thing to me. It's not that I care so much that unedited writing ends up posted for the entire internet to see. I'm just not sure that it's good when people write without having an audience other than themselves. Blogging, it seems to me, is writing for oneself. Others might read it. Others might get something out of it, whether it be a good laugh or a provoked thought. But when you get down to it, if everyone has a blog, then everyone is probably more interested in what they've posted rather than in what other people post.

I have written blogs before on other blogging websites. I look back on them and shudder. They were so incredibly self-focused. Every post was about my life, about my situations, about my pain and happiness. I wonder why anyone ever read those posts and bothered to comment on them. I am not as interesting as I sometimes allow myself to believe.

I liken blogging to looking at one's own reflection in the mirror. I'm a vain person, so this analogy works rather well for me. It isn't uncommon for me to spend several minutes just looking at my own reflection. Sometimes I look at my face and figure, pleased that I've lost weight or delighted in how clear my skin looks. Other times I obsess over the new wrinkles or dark circles I've found under my eyes. Whether I'm happy or sad with my appearance, I spend too much time focusing on it.

Blogs seem like a self-obsessed reflection too, only then it involves publishing that reflection for everyone to see. I don't really see why anyone would care enough about me to spend time staring at the reflections I post on blogs.

But writers blog, and I'm a writer. So I don't know why anyone would ever want to look, but here's my poor reflections. I can only hope that somewhere in them someone might find a well-spoken truth or a bit of humor that might brighten the day. The only thing I can be sure of is that these poor reflections are all I really have to offer.

...until the day I see Him face to face, the One who shatters the dark glass and helps me know as fully as I'm known.