Last week was Spring Break for the main school system around here, which meant my schedule was both 1) different and 2) busy. The preschool where I work was closed; the kids I nanny for were out of town. With two out of my four jobs out of the picture, you'd think I'd be less busy. Well, at times I was. I still managed to work every day last week (except for Sunday, of course). And when I was at work, it was INSANE. I couldn't WAIT for Sunday to come.
But I found some nice pockets of time where I was able to take care of some things.
--I finished reading a book I need to review, but I think I'm going to reread it before getting to that.
--I actually found a little time to edit my second book. It wasn't much, but it was something--which is way better than nothing. I'm a little discouraged at how bad the beginning of this book still is, and I have a feeling I'm going to have to send the first several chapters through the "editing mill" a few more times before I'm even close to being happy. But honestly, this is part of the writing gig. I've got to put on my big girl pants and get used to the idea. Praying for a breakthrough though...it needs something....
--I finally found time to run ten miles! What with work and unexpected rain delays, I didn't know if I'd have the time, much less the energy, to do it. But Friday, after work, God provided both the time and the energy and the strength (and beautiful, nearly perfect 60ish degree weather). I can't describe the feeling, when I put my foot down on that concrete at the end of the sidewalk, realizing I, pansy girl Ruth Campbell, had just run ten miles. I know I keep repeating myself, but I'm still in total shock that God has allowed me to run and allowed me to enjoy it. For me, running has become an act of worship, like writing, singing, etc.--and really, everything I do is supposed to be an act of worship. But unlike writing, singing, etc., running doesn't come easily or naturally for me. I have to hope in the Lord to give me strength (and renew my strength) with every step that I take. It has been quite an adventure, and I can't shut up about it. I'm not sure that I'm supposed to shut up about it. The running, etc. group (http://www.thesecondwind.net/) I run with has just started up a new spring season, and I'm excited about what God is doing. If you're in the Raleigh, NC area, come join us!
--I drank tea. And sat in the rocking chair on my front porch. And read a book. That's a big deal.
--I watched a movie for fun because I wanted to. The Muppets. Really good. I laughed SO hard.
--I had to buy a new tire. Saturday morning, I had planned to help out with an Easter Egg hunt at my church, but when I tried to drive there, I found that my tire was flat. So, I spent the morning at the tire shop instead. Turns out there was a hole in the side of the tire, where they could not repair it. Two of my tires were under warranty, but of course, the damaged one was not one of them. So, after an oil change, a new tire, a warranty plan on said new tire, and some other stuff, I put a lot of money on the credit card I'm actually trying to pay off. So, my debt is growing instead of shrinking. But--it's really not a big deal. Unexpected stuff happens. I have far too much to be thankful for to get stressed over money.
Honestly, with all the various work issues and tire issues and life issues of last week, I was really ready for a break. I was ready for Easter to come. And it came. It didn't just come yesterday, but it came 2000 years ago. Jesus didn't stay in the grave. Death could not hold Him. And so no matter what else happens, I have hope. My hope isn't in me. My hope isn't in my finances or my jobs. My hope isn't in my abilities, as if I could claim credit for even the ones that come easily. Everything I have is a gift, and sometimes gifts are hard to accept. Sometimes it's hard to accept that I'm a weak sinner and that I can't do anything to save myself. Sometimes it's hard to accept the grace of God--but Jesus died so that I could have that grace. My hope is in Him.
And this week:
--I want to run another ten miles.
--I want to get back to the old work routine. I miss my preschool kids and the girls I watch!
--I want to edit my book some more.
--I want to start reading Slide by Jill Hathaway. Amazon finally delivered it, and I finally finished the other book so I can start it!
--I want to play my guitar for more than just a few minutes. Something tells me it's time to write another song soon.
--I so need to work on a job application.
Yeah. There's lots of things I want to do. I don't know if I'll do them. Unexpected things (like flat tires) happen. And that's okay. Everything that comes my way is allowed by grace. Everything that comes my way is an opportunity to trust God and love others. And I don't have any reason to worry about any battles I face, because Christ has already won this war.
And this is still my song for 2012. May it be a blessing as you start this week. Hopeful Monday!
Showing posts with label Easter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Easter. Show all posts
Monday, April 9, 2012
Sunday, April 24, 2011
SEW Sunday: Balance
Happy Easter, readers! I just ate a pink marshmallow chicky Peep, but that's neither here nor there.
This has been an interesting week, to say the least. It started out with me heading for church last Sunday, only to find that there were power lines lying on the road in front of my church. I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot and discovered that there was no church because the power was out. The bad storms/tornado caused a lot more damage than I had realized. I still didn't realize it, because I immediately went home from not going to church and figured I should use that free time to go running. I ran six miles. That's my record...so far.
The next day, I realized that a lot of people had experienced a lot of damage from the storms. Many people didn't have anywhere to stay; many more needed some extensive work done on their homes. My church was set up as a station to help out a lot of the people in the community. I had an opportunity to go help out. In fact, I had a whole day off Tuesday.
The thing is, I had already planned on working on my writing on Tuesday. I had been planning on it for WEEKS. It needed to be done...and badly. I guess it makes me selfish, because I am selfish, but I prayerfully decided to stick with my plans to work on my writing...instead of going to help out my community. I didn't even get out of my pajamas that day.
I reread my first novel on Tuesday. All of it. I have to say, in the past week, I've read three really good books. Two of them were part of the Hunger Games trilogy. The other one...surprisingly...was my own. That first book, which was such a catastrophe when I first penned it, had been edited and edited and edited until I was sick of it. But after putting it aside for several months and going back to it, I had a fresh perspective. I was viewing it as a reader and not as a writer/editor. And I found that I couldn't put my own book down...because, at the risk of sounding vain, it was really good.
That's not to say I didn't edit a little here or there while reading it, but all in all, I'm almost there. I'm almost ready to try selling this book again. It's because I'm confident that what I have is something worth selling, something worth reading. I have a renewed focus and energy to actually try to get all the other stuff done so I can send out some queries.
And, yes, I think that was a day off well-spent.
But I have to admit I'm feeling guilty; whether that guilt is justified or not, it's there. I know that I could have gone to my church to help out instead of spending that time on my own projects. I don't know how useful I would have been, but I figure in a disastrous situation, almost any willing person can find some small way to help.
The other books I read this week, the Hunger Games books, are very sad, very intense...even disturbing at times. But they're really good and make you think. The main character had all sorts of ridiculous trials that I've never had to face or even imagine. And it's easy to say, "Well, that's just a book," but then my mind turns to the real-life atrocities. There are children dying of starvation all over this world--even here in America. Even worse than that, in my opinion, are the markets which sell children into prostitution. There's war. There's hunger. There's need.
And I sit in my pajamas and write. Usually with a big warm cup of tea.
Sometimes I feel like what I am doing is such a waste compared to what I could be doing.
Art isn't practical. I think every artist who strives to serve the Lord probably goes through something similar to what I'm talking about right now. Why create paintings or stories or poems or songs when there are so many physical needs that need to be met?
I, personally, can honestly say that I know the Lord was pursuing me at a very young age. I don't even remember the exact time I became a Christian because it's just always seemed that the Lord was with me, guiding me, calling me to Himself. And it's easy to fall into this trap of believing that God pursued me that strongly because there's something big I'm meant to do with my life, something important.
Or maybe...maybe...God just wants me because He loves me. And maybe that's better than being important.
And maybe all I have to do is what I have in my hands to do at the time. I get all riled up and start thinking I can somehow change the world if I work harder, act better, do more more more. But all the good, hard work in the world is not going to change the fact that I'm a weak fool in need of a Savior.
Do I need to show mercy to others and share that Savior with them? Yes.
Does that mean that I'm being neglectful of the needs of others if I'm working on something else the Lord has given me to do? Maybe. In some circumstances, yes. But, in this case, I don't think so. The guilt I feel is not of God.
Because the Lord is creative, and He has breathed that spark of creativity into me. He has given me dreams and visions, stories and songs. I'm not a writer because I choose to be. I'm a writer because that's how God has made me. And the time was given to me to work on something He had given me to do. So I did it. And now I'm just a little bit closer to achieving the goal of being a published writer. I don't regret it.
I have to say, though. This week, especially today, has really made me think about balance. Oh, I'm so wretchedly bad at balance. I could go on an on about how much I have to work, how little time I have, blah blah blah. It's an excuse, and not even a very good one. Everyone is busy. The thing is, I've got 24 hours every single day with which to use. True, some of those hours belong to my bosses, but I've still got a lot of time that's mine. The trick is figuring out how much of that time I'm going to devote to helping others, how much time I'm going to devote to my writing, how much time of that I'm going to use to rest (because rest is important, too...God said so).
Prayers are appreciated as I continue to try to figure this balancing act out. I'm greatly encouraged that the Lord is working, both in the lives in this community and in my personal writing life. Aslan is definitely on the move.
And by the way...
The Stone Table has cracked. The Lion roars.
Christ is risen!
This has been an interesting week, to say the least. It started out with me heading for church last Sunday, only to find that there were power lines lying on the road in front of my church. I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot and discovered that there was no church because the power was out. The bad storms/tornado caused a lot more damage than I had realized. I still didn't realize it, because I immediately went home from not going to church and figured I should use that free time to go running. I ran six miles. That's my record...so far.
The next day, I realized that a lot of people had experienced a lot of damage from the storms. Many people didn't have anywhere to stay; many more needed some extensive work done on their homes. My church was set up as a station to help out a lot of the people in the community. I had an opportunity to go help out. In fact, I had a whole day off Tuesday.
The thing is, I had already planned on working on my writing on Tuesday. I had been planning on it for WEEKS. It needed to be done...and badly. I guess it makes me selfish, because I am selfish, but I prayerfully decided to stick with my plans to work on my writing...instead of going to help out my community. I didn't even get out of my pajamas that day.
I reread my first novel on Tuesday. All of it. I have to say, in the past week, I've read three really good books. Two of them were part of the Hunger Games trilogy. The other one...surprisingly...was my own. That first book, which was such a catastrophe when I first penned it, had been edited and edited and edited until I was sick of it. But after putting it aside for several months and going back to it, I had a fresh perspective. I was viewing it as a reader and not as a writer/editor. And I found that I couldn't put my own book down...because, at the risk of sounding vain, it was really good.
That's not to say I didn't edit a little here or there while reading it, but all in all, I'm almost there. I'm almost ready to try selling this book again. It's because I'm confident that what I have is something worth selling, something worth reading. I have a renewed focus and energy to actually try to get all the other stuff done so I can send out some queries.
And, yes, I think that was a day off well-spent.
But I have to admit I'm feeling guilty; whether that guilt is justified or not, it's there. I know that I could have gone to my church to help out instead of spending that time on my own projects. I don't know how useful I would have been, but I figure in a disastrous situation, almost any willing person can find some small way to help.
The other books I read this week, the Hunger Games books, are very sad, very intense...even disturbing at times. But they're really good and make you think. The main character had all sorts of ridiculous trials that I've never had to face or even imagine. And it's easy to say, "Well, that's just a book," but then my mind turns to the real-life atrocities. There are children dying of starvation all over this world--even here in America. Even worse than that, in my opinion, are the markets which sell children into prostitution. There's war. There's hunger. There's need.
And I sit in my pajamas and write. Usually with a big warm cup of tea.
Sometimes I feel like what I am doing is such a waste compared to what I could be doing.
Art isn't practical. I think every artist who strives to serve the Lord probably goes through something similar to what I'm talking about right now. Why create paintings or stories or poems or songs when there are so many physical needs that need to be met?
I, personally, can honestly say that I know the Lord was pursuing me at a very young age. I don't even remember the exact time I became a Christian because it's just always seemed that the Lord was with me, guiding me, calling me to Himself. And it's easy to fall into this trap of believing that God pursued me that strongly because there's something big I'm meant to do with my life, something important.
Or maybe...maybe...God just wants me because He loves me. And maybe that's better than being important.
And maybe all I have to do is what I have in my hands to do at the time. I get all riled up and start thinking I can somehow change the world if I work harder, act better, do more more more. But all the good, hard work in the world is not going to change the fact that I'm a weak fool in need of a Savior.
Do I need to show mercy to others and share that Savior with them? Yes.
Does that mean that I'm being neglectful of the needs of others if I'm working on something else the Lord has given me to do? Maybe. In some circumstances, yes. But, in this case, I don't think so. The guilt I feel is not of God.
Because the Lord is creative, and He has breathed that spark of creativity into me. He has given me dreams and visions, stories and songs. I'm not a writer because I choose to be. I'm a writer because that's how God has made me. And the time was given to me to work on something He had given me to do. So I did it. And now I'm just a little bit closer to achieving the goal of being a published writer. I don't regret it.
I have to say, though. This week, especially today, has really made me think about balance. Oh, I'm so wretchedly bad at balance. I could go on an on about how much I have to work, how little time I have, blah blah blah. It's an excuse, and not even a very good one. Everyone is busy. The thing is, I've got 24 hours every single day with which to use. True, some of those hours belong to my bosses, but I've still got a lot of time that's mine. The trick is figuring out how much of that time I'm going to devote to helping others, how much time I'm going to devote to my writing, how much time of that I'm going to use to rest (because rest is important, too...God said so).
Prayers are appreciated as I continue to try to figure this balancing act out. I'm greatly encouraged that the Lord is working, both in the lives in this community and in my personal writing life. Aslan is definitely on the move.
And by the way...
The Stone Table has cracked. The Lion roars.
Christ is risen!
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