Hopeful New Year

Sometimes, when I start writing a blog, I know exactly what I'm going to write about.  Sometimes I've already written a couple of different versions of the blog in my head, or maybe even written part/all of it down on paper.  Then there's other times that I come to a blog without even knowing what I'm going to say, and sometimes the spontaneous blogs turn out to be better than the ones I'd planned.

I started writing this blog, and the blankness of the "page" caught my attention.  It's a blank page, just waiting for someone to write on it.  Sometimes it seems a shame to write on something so clean, especially when I know my words are often far from perfect.  But there's great power in words, and clean pages are useless.  It's only when we write our words, our meanings on them, that they take meaning. 

Unless this is the first time you've actually read my blog (keep reading--that would be an EXCELLENT New Year's Resolution), then you have probably read that my "Word for the Year" is Hope.  I've been harping on about it for a while, because my calendar is a little different from the real calendar.  My new year starts at the beginning of the Christmas season, which on my calendar, starts somewhere near the middle-to-end of August.  I've known that 2012 was going to be a Hopeful year since mid-to-late August. 

I've already written a lot about Hope, but sometimes even I don't really understand it.  Hope still scares me, because Hope makes one vulnerable.  If you Hope for something, then you haven't received it yet.  True Hope isn't the same as hoping for nice weather or hoping you'll find a good job.  We have no promise of those things.  True Hope is believing that something that God has promised will come. 

The tricky thing is, most of the things that God has promised don't even pertain to this life.  He hasn't promised that I'm going to get a cushy job with health insurance benefits.  He hasn't promised that I'm going to find a literary agent or land a book contract.  He hasn't promised that I'm going to amass a huge, successful following on my blogs, or that I'm going to pay off all my debt this year, or that I'm going to meet some rich guitarist with a Scottish accent to sweep me off my feet.  He hasn't promised me good health or secure finances or a stress-free life.  I can hope for these things and be crushed every time.  That's what makes hope vulnerable. 

True Hope is also vulnerable, because it involves trusting Someone besides self.  It involves trusting God that no matter what happens, even if I lose my health, my job(s), my home, my friends, my family, or even my own life, He has still promised good to me. 

Jesus promised that if we seek God and His Kingdom first, all that we need will be added to us.  My problem is that I think I need a lot more than I actually do need.  Most of the things I need are actually just "in order tos."  I need a job in order to feel successful and financially secure.  I need writing in order to feel purposeful.  I need friends in order to feel loved.  I need a roof over my head in order to feel comfortable.  I need food in order to fill my hunger.  I need water in order to satisfy my thirst.  I need air in order to breathe.

I'm not making light of the fact that we all need some basic stuff in order to live.  It's just that when you strip away all the "in order tos," and get right down to what we need--not "in order to," but just because we need...

We need a Savior.   

One has been provided.  God Himself.

That's where my Hope lies. 

This is my song for 2012.



"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." --Romans 15:13

Hopeful New Year!

2011: The Year I Make Contact??

So sorry I haven't updated in a while. December was the craziest month ever with parties and shopping and baking and traveling. Now it's January. January 1. 1/1/11. I was still accidentally writing 2009 on checks, so I'm not exactly sure what happened to 2010, but it's gone.

And I'm sad to report that Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke were wrong. 2010 was NOT the year we made contact. (If you're confused, 2010 was the sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Now you know.)

Aww.

Oh well, that movie sucked. The book was a little better, but I'm kind of glad alien monoliths aren't popping up all over the solar system...

But I was really hoping that 2010 would be the year I personally made contact with a literary agent. I was wise enough not to put down in writing, "My resolution for 2010 is to get an agent and a book contract." Rather, my resolution for 2010 was, "I want to do everything in my power to find an agent and work towards getting a book contract." The thing is, I'm not entirely sure I did everything within my power to find an agent. BUT, I'm not sure how much wisdom was in that resolution anyway.

I mean, I've learned SO much over the past year about the writing/publishing industry. I've learned it's a LOT harder and takes a LOT longer than most people believe to find an agent/get a book contract. In fact, if I were to get signed by an agent today, it could still be years before getting published. Years. ...if 2010 hadn't been such a short year, I might be crying right now.

Honestly, I'm glad I didn't do everything in my power to get an agent last year. That would have meant doing some pretty stupid things--like quitting my jobs so I could write/edit more, or telling my friends I could never see them again because I had writing stuff to do, or telling my mom that I'd return all her phone calls after I finally got a book contract. My mom would be waiting awhile...

I'm not sure what a wiser resolution would be, but I do have some resolutions for the year. One of them is realistically attainable, if I work towards it and make it a priority. Another is realistically attainable, if I work towards it and communicate well with other parties involved. Another is attainable in theory, but only if the stars properly align.

Last year I lost 40 pounds. Unfortunately, I stopped exercising in about August and started eating massive amounts of cookies in November, and I've consequently gained back about 10 pounds. So one of my resolutions for this year is to lose another 20 pounds. Definitely attainable if I work towards it and make exercise a priority--yes, even over writing. I need to set aside time to exercise. That's all there is to it.

I also have a resolution this year to get something published. This is attainable because I don't plan on traditionally publishing this project. I plan on going through a small company. It's a collection of short stories. At this point, most of them need editing, and I might even need to write a few more. But I think this goal is very attainable if I work towards it. I plan on being able to call myself a published author this year.

My other resolution is trickier, and probably very unwise, but I think it's possible. I want to sign with a literary agent this year. I'm much closer to being able to attain that goal than I was last year. We'll see what happens.

All in all, I'm pretty excited about a new year. I'm excited to see what will happen to me personally and professionally. I'm excited to see what's happening in the lives of my friends and in the lives of my fellow writers. There's a lot going on. Basically, I'm just going to keep trying to be faithful with what God's given me to do...but more on that in the next blog.

Thank you to all of you who read this for sharing in what's going on with me.