The Unraveling of Wentwater is the fourth book in The Gates of Heaven Series by C. S. Lakin. Unlike most other series, each book in this series has different characters and settings, and can be understood without reading the other books in the series.
The village of Wentwater is home to superstitious, simple people, while the nearby Heights is made up of intellectuals—people who pride themselves in their worldly wisdom. Teralyn, a young musician who has grown up in the Heights, finds romance in the village—but she also discovers that it was prophesied that she would cause the unraveling of Wentwater. Through the schemes of a wicked witch and the desperation of a bitter man whom Teralyn has scorned, Wentwater does indeed unravel—one word at a time. Teralyn must make a difficult choice and endure much hardship to save both the village and the Heights.
In The Unraveling of Wentwater, Lakin used elements from several fairy tales (“Sleeping Beauty,” “The Wild Swans,” etc.) to create a unique and imaginative story. Of the books I have read from The Gates of Heaven Series, this is my favorite so far. As a writer, I certainly can appreciate the way Lakin crafted words to form a story that emphasized the great importance of words and their meanings. She included several interesting plays on words that greatly added to the enjoyment of the story. Even after reading the book twice, I’m not sure that I caught all of the wordplays.
Lakin also employed Scripture and symbolism particularly well in this story. The climactic moment was exceptionally brilliant, revealing both the darker aspects of human nature, and our need for something greater than ourselves.
It was hard to immediately discern whether one of the important characters was a protagonist or an antagonist, which made for a difficult read, at first. One of the things I like about fairy tales is that it is almost always easy to see whether a character is virtuous or wicked. I’m not sure if Lakin intended the confusion, or not, but after completing the story, I could certainly see reasons for such ambiguity. But while I enjoyed several of the characters in this story, I don’t think that her character development was as good as it could have been. Some of the dialogue was cumbersome, and I had trouble understanding some of the character’s attitudes and actions. As much as I enjoyed the story, I feel that just a little more attention the characters would have made it even more enjoyable.
But aside from that, I would definitely recommend The Unraveling of Wentwater for older children, teenagers, and adults. This is a highly imaginative and well-crafted story about the importance of words, the value of faith, and the truth that love conquers all.
I received this book for review as an Advanced Reader Copy from AMG Publishers. The Unraveling of Wentwater will be available for purchase in July of 2012.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
A Post I Didn't Want to Write
This is one of those posts that I'm afraid to write. I know it's going to offend some people. I don't like offending people. But truth is often offensive. So I have the choice to keep quiet and be safe, or I can write a blog--which isn't all that dangerous, but it probably won't allow me to be as safe and comfortable as I'd like to be. I might lose friends over this. I might make some people mad to the point that they don't want to associate with me. The thing is, this is what I believe, and I have reasons why I believe it. I'd rather stand up for truth and risk offending people than keep my beliefs a comfortable secret. I'm not writing this out of hate. I'm writing this as a loving warning--one that, realistically, I don't think will be heeded, but that doesn't excuse me from writing it.
I don't like politics, and while I try to vote during important elections, I really don't have much to do with political stuff. But there's a lot of buzz right now about homosexuality and marriage, and I do have an opinion on this matter. I believe God has defined marriage as being between a man and a woman.
I don't hate gay people. I actually have dear friends who are practicing homosexuals. I love them, but I don't agree with their lifestyles. They know this. They also know that I love them. I don't consistently remind them that I don't agree with homosexuality, lording my beliefs over them. I don't go around thinking about them or referring to them as my "gay friends." They're just my friends. I don't like being lumped in with the so-called Christians who are hateful towards gay people. I'm not intolerant. I think some people need to find a dictionary and realize that tolerance does not mean that I have to agree with everything that everyone does.
I have reasons for disagreeing with homosexuality. They are Biblical reasons, but they might not be what one might think. I really don't like it when people claim to believe the Bible, yet say homosexuality is okay with God. These are usually the people who say something about how all the commandments against homosexuality are found in the Old Testament, located near passages that are also out-dated and that can no longer be applied to today's society. I really do get where they're coming from. Some commandments seem a little silly. I don't think that everyone who claims to believe in God should be careful to have tassels on their cloaks or whatever. It's obvious that certain things in Scripture were relative to cultural/social contexts--but the principle behind all these things can be applied to today. The tassels, the seemingly harsh punishments for disobedience, all of these things were included in the Bible for a reason. God is holy, and as God's people, Israel needed to show themselves holy--set apart from the other nations. Sometimes God's commandments didn't make sense, but they were to be obeyed simply because He is God and worthy of obedience.
Aside from that, homosexuality was also addressed in a negative light in the New Testament. It wasn't just something that was forbidden before the "New Law." But I don't want to talk about all the things that were forbidden as much as I want to talk about the things that are permitted.
When God created the world, He made creations that reproduced creations of their own kind. The plants produced seeds that made other plants that were like the plants that first produced the seeds. Apples produced seeds made apple trees. An apple never produced a seed for a cucumber. It wasn't designed to do that. Lions didn't lay chicken eggs; they mated with other lions and produced lion cubs. There is an order to that, and there was an order to the creation of man.
I really do get annoyed by the phrase, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," but there is a lot of truth to it. When God created man, there was no suitable mate for him until God created woman. God designed man (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) to be complemented by woman (and vise versa). And one of God's clearest commandments to Adam and Eve was that they multiply, reproducing more creatures like themselves--creatures who were made in God's image. I'm not saying that the only purpose of sex is reproduction, and I'm not saying that I think every single human being has to reproduce in order to follow God's commands (if so, then I'd be in trouble), but I do believe God had a specific design for families. This design can be seen from creation, and it runs throughout Scripture.
I might not believe what I believe so strongly if I could find just one example in Scripture where a homosexual relationship glorified God. I can't find that. The overwhelming majoirty of the God-honoring marriages in Scripture are between just one man and just one woman (there are many examples of marriages between one man and several women, but most of these situations were less than ideal and often led to problems). I'm not as interested in all the different Scripture references that forbid homosexuality as I am the passages that feature God-honoring marital relationships. God's Law does have many "do nots," and these are for our benefit. The fact that God would show us what He expects from us is evidence of his grace, not His wrath. But there are also a lot of things that are permitted within God's Law. Sex is to be enjoyed within the bonds of marriage, and God has defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. I believe that marriage by His definition is the only marriage that can glorify Him (not all heterosexual marriages glorify God, and many don't--please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I just don't believe a homosexual "marriage" can glorify God because it is against God's design. God did not create men to have that kind of relationship with other men; God did not create women to have that kind of relationship with other women).
And (this is where I'm really going to lose some people) while I don't believe there's only one thing a family is supposed to look like, I would venture to say that God's design for families does not involve "two dads" or "two moms." In the ideal family situation, kids have one mom and one dad. There might be other family members--like grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc.--thrown into the mix, but in my studies in both Christianity and psychology, I have seen a lot of evidence that shows children greatly benefit from having both a dad and a mom--a male and female parent. I am not speaking out against single parents at all--I'm a big fan of single parents, many of whom are doing the best they can at raising their kids by themselves (or with the help of family/friends)--and doing a phenomenal job of it, too! The thing is, most of them did not have much of a choice about being a single parent, and most of them would probably love having a spouse around to help them out and to provide love for their kids. I just cannot agree with two homosexual individuals bringing children into their families through adoption, surrogate, etc. This is probably going to sound incredibly prejudiced of me, but seriously. There's a reason that two men can't naturally produce a child. There's a reason that two women can't naturally produce a child. God did not design families that way. He designed children to have both a mom and a dad. There are situations where this isn't possible due to divorce, death, etc., and I salute those single parents who make it work. But I cannot agree with the idea of homosexual couples "having" and raising kids together as if this was their God-given right.
I'm not trying to be hateful. I don't hate gay people. I disagree with their lifestyle, but acknowledge that it's their choice and not mine. And I do believe that lifestyle is a choice. I honestly cannot understand the "born this way" argument because I was not "born that way." I am not gay. I can't understand how someone can be attracted to someone of the same gender because I'm not attracted to other women. But here is what I think about this. I was born under the curse of sin. I was born with all sorts of "natural" inclinations. I was born with the desire to claim glory for myself, with the desire to lie, with the desire to cheat, with the desire to want and take what doesn't belong to me, with the desire to tear others down, with the desire to hurt people who hurt me, with the desire to make myself happy no matter who it hurt. If anyone doesn't think they were born with those inclinations, then he or she should go spend a day in a preschool classroom. We were all born with the desire to have our own way. And honestly, I still want my own way. I still want to get back at people who have wronged me. I still covet things that aren't mine to have. I still sometimes hide behind lies. These are things that are natural to me, and I have to struggle--sometimes daily--and with God's help--to overcome them. I don't know if homosexuals are all "born that way" or not, but here's my thought. It's not sinful to have homosexual desires. It's sinful to practice homosexuality. And even if homosexual desires are a natural thing, that doesn't make it right when someone chooses to act on them. I'd say the same thing about a man and a woman in a sinful sexual relationship. Just because we have the natural inclination to do something, that doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it okay with God.
So, does that mean I think that homosexual individuals should remain single? I guess it does. I don't really see this as an unfair expectation, since I'm a single lady in my 30s. I'd like to get married and have kids, but I'm perfectly able to live a joyful, wonderful life without sex and without being in a marital relationship. I'm able to accept that I can't always have what I want (or think I want) because I accept that life is about glorifying God and not myself. I do struggle with this sometimes, but God gives all the grace I need. There is great joy in surrendering to His will. People miss out on that when they live their lives to please themselves.
Now, an important vote is coming up in North Carolina involving the definition of marriage. As I've previously stated here, and as one of the ministers at my church stated the other day, "God has already defined marriage." I don't believe the results of a vote are going to change God's definition. I am, however, going to vote because I agree with God and with His definition of marriage being only between a man and a woman. I'm not attacking homosexuals or trying to take away their "rights." I'm standing in agreement with God's Word. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with that, but I can't just pretend I think something is okay if it's not okay with God.
Maybe it's the realist in me, but part of me really doesn't believe the results of this vote (and similar votes in other states) are going to make me happy. I have a feeling that God might just give people what they want. People seem to want to live their lives without regarding any of His regulations, and my fear is that He's just going to give them that. People are going to do what they want whether or not it's good for them. Like a child who insists on disobeying a parent, even when the parent has issued a rule to protect the child from a danger the child cannot see, many people think they know better than God does. And something like homosexuality might not seem to be hurting anyone, but I truly fear for society. God designed marriage and family the way He did for a reason, and I fear there will be natural consequences for going our way instead of His. I fear for our children. I fear for our future. I fear for the legacy that we're leaving to the generations to come.
And so my fervent prayer is that God doesn't give America what it wants. America seems to want God to butt out of our lives and let us live however we want to, whether or not such a life is good for us. We certainly deserve that. We certainly deserve to have God remove Himself from our lives so that we can do whatever we want and discover how hopeless such a life really is. But I pray the Lord will be merciful and save us from ourselves.
Again.
I don't like politics, and while I try to vote during important elections, I really don't have much to do with political stuff. But there's a lot of buzz right now about homosexuality and marriage, and I do have an opinion on this matter. I believe God has defined marriage as being between a man and a woman.
I don't hate gay people. I actually have dear friends who are practicing homosexuals. I love them, but I don't agree with their lifestyles. They know this. They also know that I love them. I don't consistently remind them that I don't agree with homosexuality, lording my beliefs over them. I don't go around thinking about them or referring to them as my "gay friends." They're just my friends. I don't like being lumped in with the so-called Christians who are hateful towards gay people. I'm not intolerant. I think some people need to find a dictionary and realize that tolerance does not mean that I have to agree with everything that everyone does.
I have reasons for disagreeing with homosexuality. They are Biblical reasons, but they might not be what one might think. I really don't like it when people claim to believe the Bible, yet say homosexuality is okay with God. These are usually the people who say something about how all the commandments against homosexuality are found in the Old Testament, located near passages that are also out-dated and that can no longer be applied to today's society. I really do get where they're coming from. Some commandments seem a little silly. I don't think that everyone who claims to believe in God should be careful to have tassels on their cloaks or whatever. It's obvious that certain things in Scripture were relative to cultural/social contexts--but the principle behind all these things can be applied to today. The tassels, the seemingly harsh punishments for disobedience, all of these things were included in the Bible for a reason. God is holy, and as God's people, Israel needed to show themselves holy--set apart from the other nations. Sometimes God's commandments didn't make sense, but they were to be obeyed simply because He is God and worthy of obedience.
Aside from that, homosexuality was also addressed in a negative light in the New Testament. It wasn't just something that was forbidden before the "New Law." But I don't want to talk about all the things that were forbidden as much as I want to talk about the things that are permitted.
When God created the world, He made creations that reproduced creations of their own kind. The plants produced seeds that made other plants that were like the plants that first produced the seeds. Apples produced seeds made apple trees. An apple never produced a seed for a cucumber. It wasn't designed to do that. Lions didn't lay chicken eggs; they mated with other lions and produced lion cubs. There is an order to that, and there was an order to the creation of man.
I really do get annoyed by the phrase, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," but there is a lot of truth to it. When God created man, there was no suitable mate for him until God created woman. God designed man (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) to be complemented by woman (and vise versa). And one of God's clearest commandments to Adam and Eve was that they multiply, reproducing more creatures like themselves--creatures who were made in God's image. I'm not saying that the only purpose of sex is reproduction, and I'm not saying that I think every single human being has to reproduce in order to follow God's commands (if so, then I'd be in trouble), but I do believe God had a specific design for families. This design can be seen from creation, and it runs throughout Scripture.
I might not believe what I believe so strongly if I could find just one example in Scripture where a homosexual relationship glorified God. I can't find that. The overwhelming majoirty of the God-honoring marriages in Scripture are between just one man and just one woman (there are many examples of marriages between one man and several women, but most of these situations were less than ideal and often led to problems). I'm not as interested in all the different Scripture references that forbid homosexuality as I am the passages that feature God-honoring marital relationships. God's Law does have many "do nots," and these are for our benefit. The fact that God would show us what He expects from us is evidence of his grace, not His wrath. But there are also a lot of things that are permitted within God's Law. Sex is to be enjoyed within the bonds of marriage, and God has defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. I believe that marriage by His definition is the only marriage that can glorify Him (not all heterosexual marriages glorify God, and many don't--please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I just don't believe a homosexual "marriage" can glorify God because it is against God's design. God did not create men to have that kind of relationship with other men; God did not create women to have that kind of relationship with other women).
And (this is where I'm really going to lose some people) while I don't believe there's only one thing a family is supposed to look like, I would venture to say that God's design for families does not involve "two dads" or "two moms." In the ideal family situation, kids have one mom and one dad. There might be other family members--like grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc.--thrown into the mix, but in my studies in both Christianity and psychology, I have seen a lot of evidence that shows children greatly benefit from having both a dad and a mom--a male and female parent. I am not speaking out against single parents at all--I'm a big fan of single parents, many of whom are doing the best they can at raising their kids by themselves (or with the help of family/friends)--and doing a phenomenal job of it, too! The thing is, most of them did not have much of a choice about being a single parent, and most of them would probably love having a spouse around to help them out and to provide love for their kids. I just cannot agree with two homosexual individuals bringing children into their families through adoption, surrogate, etc. This is probably going to sound incredibly prejudiced of me, but seriously. There's a reason that two men can't naturally produce a child. There's a reason that two women can't naturally produce a child. God did not design families that way. He designed children to have both a mom and a dad. There are situations where this isn't possible due to divorce, death, etc., and I salute those single parents who make it work. But I cannot agree with the idea of homosexual couples "having" and raising kids together as if this was their God-given right.
I'm not trying to be hateful. I don't hate gay people. I disagree with their lifestyle, but acknowledge that it's their choice and not mine. And I do believe that lifestyle is a choice. I honestly cannot understand the "born this way" argument because I was not "born that way." I am not gay. I can't understand how someone can be attracted to someone of the same gender because I'm not attracted to other women. But here is what I think about this. I was born under the curse of sin. I was born with all sorts of "natural" inclinations. I was born with the desire to claim glory for myself, with the desire to lie, with the desire to cheat, with the desire to want and take what doesn't belong to me, with the desire to tear others down, with the desire to hurt people who hurt me, with the desire to make myself happy no matter who it hurt. If anyone doesn't think they were born with those inclinations, then he or she should go spend a day in a preschool classroom. We were all born with the desire to have our own way. And honestly, I still want my own way. I still want to get back at people who have wronged me. I still covet things that aren't mine to have. I still sometimes hide behind lies. These are things that are natural to me, and I have to struggle--sometimes daily--and with God's help--to overcome them. I don't know if homosexuals are all "born that way" or not, but here's my thought. It's not sinful to have homosexual desires. It's sinful to practice homosexuality. And even if homosexual desires are a natural thing, that doesn't make it right when someone chooses to act on them. I'd say the same thing about a man and a woman in a sinful sexual relationship. Just because we have the natural inclination to do something, that doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it okay with God.
So, does that mean I think that homosexual individuals should remain single? I guess it does. I don't really see this as an unfair expectation, since I'm a single lady in my 30s. I'd like to get married and have kids, but I'm perfectly able to live a joyful, wonderful life without sex and without being in a marital relationship. I'm able to accept that I can't always have what I want (or think I want) because I accept that life is about glorifying God and not myself. I do struggle with this sometimes, but God gives all the grace I need. There is great joy in surrendering to His will. People miss out on that when they live their lives to please themselves.
Now, an important vote is coming up in North Carolina involving the definition of marriage. As I've previously stated here, and as one of the ministers at my church stated the other day, "God has already defined marriage." I don't believe the results of a vote are going to change God's definition. I am, however, going to vote because I agree with God and with His definition of marriage being only between a man and a woman. I'm not attacking homosexuals or trying to take away their "rights." I'm standing in agreement with God's Word. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with that, but I can't just pretend I think something is okay if it's not okay with God.
Maybe it's the realist in me, but part of me really doesn't believe the results of this vote (and similar votes in other states) are going to make me happy. I have a feeling that God might just give people what they want. People seem to want to live their lives without regarding any of His regulations, and my fear is that He's just going to give them that. People are going to do what they want whether or not it's good for them. Like a child who insists on disobeying a parent, even when the parent has issued a rule to protect the child from a danger the child cannot see, many people think they know better than God does. And something like homosexuality might not seem to be hurting anyone, but I truly fear for society. God designed marriage and family the way He did for a reason, and I fear there will be natural consequences for going our way instead of His. I fear for our children. I fear for our future. I fear for the legacy that we're leaving to the generations to come.
And so my fervent prayer is that God doesn't give America what it wants. America seems to want God to butt out of our lives and let us live however we want to, whether or not such a life is good for us. We certainly deserve that. We certainly deserve to have God remove Himself from our lives so that we can do whatever we want and discover how hopeless such a life really is. But I pray the Lord will be merciful and save us from ourselves.
Again.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Monday Blahg: Shrewd as a Snake? Not So Much
When I was on a mission trip in Thailand about five years ago, I tried a little experiment. One of my friends had told me once about this really pretty girl he went to high school with. She would invite guys to the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) meetings, and they would come, just because she was pretty. According to my friend, a lot of those guys she invited eventually became Christians through attending FCA meetings. Well, I wasn't that pretty in high school (especially in my pre-contact lenses days), and I didn't really have a knack for talking to guys. But for whatever reason, when I was in Thailand, I attracted the attention of a guy named Sin (insert lame joke about "my Sin finding me out" here).
Well, Sin was really into me, and so I thought I'd try what that really pretty high school girl had done. I invited him to lunch, hoping that the other members of my team and I could "tag-team witness" to him. Well, I think it just offended him a little and generally creeped him out...and well, I don't blame him. It wasn't the smartest decision on my part, and I really should have known better (insert joke about how I should have "fled from Sin" here). My intentions were good, but unwise. I still just have to ask myself...what was I thinking?
Well, the other day I was at the tire shop getting my tires checked, and this stranger dude randomly asked me out to get sushi with him. I immediately turned him down and stuck my nose in a book so I wouldn't have to talk to him anymore. In the awkward silence that followed, I considered my decision, wondering if maybe I should have been a little more open to talking with him. Now, I wouldn't have gone to get sushi with him, but maybe I could have at least been a little friendlier, struck up a conversation. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd done the right thing by not talking to him.
There are some amazing people who can talk to anyone about anything, who can tell strangers about Jesus at the drop of a hat. They can take any topic and seamlessly transition it into a conversation about spiritual matters. I'm just not one of those people. And if I'd tried talking to that guy with the intentions of telling him about Jesus, it would have almost certainly turned out similarly to my experience with Sin. He would have realized I was interested in talking to him because I wanted to tell him about Jesus, not because I wanted to date him. And while there's a LOT to be said about caring about someone just because they're a fellow human being whom Jesus loves and died for, I can definitely see how he would have been offended if he were just looking for a pretty girl to eat sushi with.
The thing about me is that what you see is pretty much what you get. I have a lot of respect for Jesus' command to his disciples to be "shrewd as snakes, but harmless as doves." The thing is, I just don't think that I'm meant to be "shrewd as a snake." I am extremely shy around people I don't know. I am not a good conversationalist even with people I do know. I love people, and I have a lot of friends, but I have to warm up to people gradually over time. And I can't just pretend to be something different besides what I am. I can't talk to strangers (unless the Holy Spirit takes over--that has happened before, and it's awesome, but I have no control over it). And I felt guilty about it for years before realizing that I'm the way I am because this is how God has made me. I was doing something wrong when I tried to force myself to be friendly. ...and honestly, when I did try to be friendly towards strangers, I think I scared them off. I'm apparently such a weird person that my true personality doesn't come out until after people have had a chance to get used to me.
Recently, I've been thinking about I've been trying to market my writing. I haven't actually been marketing my writing, mind you; I've just been thinking about marketing my writing. And what I've been thinking is that I've been frustrating myself with my own agenda. I used to have this idea about marketing my vaguely Christian writing in the mainstream writing market, in the hopes that some people would pick it up and small Truth that would make them want to search for greater Truth. But the problem is that I have trouble keeping my faith separate from my writing--so most of it is more than just vaguely Christian. Also, with the way the current YA writing market is going, my style really wouldn't sell well. That doesn't mean that what I've written isn't good or sellable, but it means that the current market trends are going a completely different direction than what I'm wanting to sell. Dystopian. Paranormal. Cursing and sex in teen books. Dystopian and paranormal I can appreciate--and maybe even market some of my other writing in those directions. But honestly, I think the specific book I'm trying to sell (or thinking about selling) is too innocent (perhaps even "as harmless as a dove") for the current mainstream markets.
And I've been on and off considering that it would probably be a good idea to start switching gears. I think I'm going to have to start marketing more towards Christian publishers. The more I've thought and prayed about it, the more it seems like the route I need to go. I'm not good at being "shrewd as a snake" even in the way I market my writing. If it's a book with strong Christian themes, then it's a Christian book, and I think I'm going to have to market it that way. Straightforward. That's how I am. I can't change it, and really, I shouldn't try to change it. God's agenda for me and my writing is greater than my own agenda. I don't know what's going to happen or how He's going to lead. I may not become as popular of a writer as I had once hoped (but really, that was always a longshot, and I don't think I want that much publicity anymore anyway). I do want my writing out there. I want people reading it. I want people to know my characters and know what they experience. I want God to be glorified through my writing. And I guess if that's my main goal, then I shouldn't be too concerned about all the particulars.
I need to make the transition from thinking about marketing my writing to actually marketing my writing again. ...but then again, there's a lot of things I need to do.
--I need to stop eating everything in sight. This week has been bad. I've just been out of control and not honoring God with what I eat.
--I've been out of control in my prayer life/Bible reading, too. I need to get back on track. I've been talking ABOUT God a lot, but not talking TO Him very much. That's not okay, but it's an easy trap to find oneself in. But the thing is, as chaotic as life has been (and will continue to be this week--I'm working at least 2 jobs almost every day), God has just been so gracious. He's shown me that even when I'm spinning out of control, He's still in control. His grace is more than sufficient. That doesn't excuse me from striving to follow Him, but I know that even when I'm struggling, He's got me. He loves me. He's not letting me go. Great is His faithfulness!
--Running? Going well! I'm glad something is! I did 12 miles last week. I'm going to attempt 13 miles this week (today hopefully), and then start backing off to about 9-10 miles for my last two long runs before the race. It's a little less than 3 weeks until the half marathon! I'm getting excited about getting to see family and getting to run my legs off! Please pray I stay injury free and that I continue to praise God with every step I run! Those are my only real concerns as the race day approaches!
--Grown up stuff--like job applications and planning to move in JUNE (not to another town, but to another apartment in the same town)? I feel like I haven't had time to work on these things, but really I've not been MAKING the time to work on them. This week is going to be busy, but I HAVE to put on my big girl pants and DEAL with this stuff. Seriously.
--I need to make an effort to go to sleep earlier. I've been oversleeping and just generally being exhausted during the day.
Honestly, I feel really out of control right now, but that's good. I'm grateful for the times when the Lord humbles me and reminds me of how much I really need Him. I pray that He's shining through me, even when I'm a mess.
Shiny Monday to you!
Well, Sin was really into me, and so I thought I'd try what that really pretty high school girl had done. I invited him to lunch, hoping that the other members of my team and I could "tag-team witness" to him. Well, I think it just offended him a little and generally creeped him out...and well, I don't blame him. It wasn't the smartest decision on my part, and I really should have known better (insert joke about how I should have "fled from Sin" here). My intentions were good, but unwise. I still just have to ask myself...what was I thinking?
Well, the other day I was at the tire shop getting my tires checked, and this stranger dude randomly asked me out to get sushi with him. I immediately turned him down and stuck my nose in a book so I wouldn't have to talk to him anymore. In the awkward silence that followed, I considered my decision, wondering if maybe I should have been a little more open to talking with him. Now, I wouldn't have gone to get sushi with him, but maybe I could have at least been a little friendlier, struck up a conversation. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd done the right thing by not talking to him.
There are some amazing people who can talk to anyone about anything, who can tell strangers about Jesus at the drop of a hat. They can take any topic and seamlessly transition it into a conversation about spiritual matters. I'm just not one of those people. And if I'd tried talking to that guy with the intentions of telling him about Jesus, it would have almost certainly turned out similarly to my experience with Sin. He would have realized I was interested in talking to him because I wanted to tell him about Jesus, not because I wanted to date him. And while there's a LOT to be said about caring about someone just because they're a fellow human being whom Jesus loves and died for, I can definitely see how he would have been offended if he were just looking for a pretty girl to eat sushi with.
The thing about me is that what you see is pretty much what you get. I have a lot of respect for Jesus' command to his disciples to be "shrewd as snakes, but harmless as doves." The thing is, I just don't think that I'm meant to be "shrewd as a snake." I am extremely shy around people I don't know. I am not a good conversationalist even with people I do know. I love people, and I have a lot of friends, but I have to warm up to people gradually over time. And I can't just pretend to be something different besides what I am. I can't talk to strangers (unless the Holy Spirit takes over--that has happened before, and it's awesome, but I have no control over it). And I felt guilty about it for years before realizing that I'm the way I am because this is how God has made me. I was doing something wrong when I tried to force myself to be friendly. ...and honestly, when I did try to be friendly towards strangers, I think I scared them off. I'm apparently such a weird person that my true personality doesn't come out until after people have had a chance to get used to me.
Recently, I've been thinking about I've been trying to market my writing. I haven't actually been marketing my writing, mind you; I've just been thinking about marketing my writing. And what I've been thinking is that I've been frustrating myself with my own agenda. I used to have this idea about marketing my vaguely Christian writing in the mainstream writing market, in the hopes that some people would pick it up and small Truth that would make them want to search for greater Truth. But the problem is that I have trouble keeping my faith separate from my writing--so most of it is more than just vaguely Christian. Also, with the way the current YA writing market is going, my style really wouldn't sell well. That doesn't mean that what I've written isn't good or sellable, but it means that the current market trends are going a completely different direction than what I'm wanting to sell. Dystopian. Paranormal. Cursing and sex in teen books. Dystopian and paranormal I can appreciate--and maybe even market some of my other writing in those directions. But honestly, I think the specific book I'm trying to sell (or thinking about selling) is too innocent (perhaps even "as harmless as a dove") for the current mainstream markets.
And I've been on and off considering that it would probably be a good idea to start switching gears. I think I'm going to have to start marketing more towards Christian publishers. The more I've thought and prayed about it, the more it seems like the route I need to go. I'm not good at being "shrewd as a snake" even in the way I market my writing. If it's a book with strong Christian themes, then it's a Christian book, and I think I'm going to have to market it that way. Straightforward. That's how I am. I can't change it, and really, I shouldn't try to change it. God's agenda for me and my writing is greater than my own agenda. I don't know what's going to happen or how He's going to lead. I may not become as popular of a writer as I had once hoped (but really, that was always a longshot, and I don't think I want that much publicity anymore anyway). I do want my writing out there. I want people reading it. I want people to know my characters and know what they experience. I want God to be glorified through my writing. And I guess if that's my main goal, then I shouldn't be too concerned about all the particulars.
I need to make the transition from thinking about marketing my writing to actually marketing my writing again. ...but then again, there's a lot of things I need to do.
--I need to stop eating everything in sight. This week has been bad. I've just been out of control and not honoring God with what I eat.
--I've been out of control in my prayer life/Bible reading, too. I need to get back on track. I've been talking ABOUT God a lot, but not talking TO Him very much. That's not okay, but it's an easy trap to find oneself in. But the thing is, as chaotic as life has been (and will continue to be this week--I'm working at least 2 jobs almost every day), God has just been so gracious. He's shown me that even when I'm spinning out of control, He's still in control. His grace is more than sufficient. That doesn't excuse me from striving to follow Him, but I know that even when I'm struggling, He's got me. He loves me. He's not letting me go. Great is His faithfulness!
--Running? Going well! I'm glad something is! I did 12 miles last week. I'm going to attempt 13 miles this week (today hopefully), and then start backing off to about 9-10 miles for my last two long runs before the race. It's a little less than 3 weeks until the half marathon! I'm getting excited about getting to see family and getting to run my legs off! Please pray I stay injury free and that I continue to praise God with every step I run! Those are my only real concerns as the race day approaches!
--Grown up stuff--like job applications and planning to move in JUNE (not to another town, but to another apartment in the same town)? I feel like I haven't had time to work on these things, but really I've not been MAKING the time to work on them. This week is going to be busy, but I HAVE to put on my big girl pants and DEAL with this stuff. Seriously.
--I need to make an effort to go to sleep earlier. I've been oversleeping and just generally being exhausted during the day.
Honestly, I feel really out of control right now, but that's good. I'm grateful for the times when the Lord humbles me and reminds me of how much I really need Him. I pray that He's shining through me, even when I'm a mess.
Shiny Monday to you!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Fiction Friday: Excuses, Excuses
I was going to try to do a book review today. Actually, I was going to try to do a book review LAST Friday, but I just haven't finished rereading the book yet.
You see, I was going to reread the book, and indeed, had started, when an interdimensional portal opened in my room. A man stepped out and said that he was from the 27th century. He told me he needed my book so that he could do a study on ancient interdimensional literature.
I told him "Tough tomatoes. I have to write a book review. And I hope that interdimensional portal doesn't leave a mark on my wall."
He said, "We don't have tomatoes in my dimension. We did, but they were eaten by the plague of Garfs. But that's beside the point. I really need your book more than you do. And if the interdimensional portal leaves a mark, you should use a magic eraser."
"I love magic erasers!" I exclaimed. "They get crayon off of anything!"
"Is a crayon some sort of interdimensional portal?" he asked.
"It's a portal into the greatest interdimensional port of all," I said happily. "The imagination."
He looked at me kind of funny and said, "Wait a moment. Do you have magic erasers in this dimension and in this century?"
I ran to the kitchen and got a magic eraser--those little sponge thingies that get crayon off of anything. I held it up for him to see.
"What is that?" he asked, sounding both curious and somewhat horrified.
"A magic eraser," I said, shrugging.
He shook his head. "That's not a magic eraser! THIS is a magic eraser!" He pulled a large pink rubber eraser--like the kinds they sell to elementary school kids...who never really use them for anything besides chewing or throwing them at each other.
I laughed. "That's magic?"
He seemed slightly offended. "Magic? Of course it's magic!" And he proceeded to rub it on one of my shoes. My shoe magically disappeared.
"Dude!" I exclaimed, first in surprise, then in anger. "You erased my shoe!"
"I know. These magic erasers are amazing."
"No, man. You erased my shoe. I liked that shoe!"
"I don't know what you're complaining about," he said. "You still have the other one."
"What am I supposed to do with only one shoe!?" I demanded.
"Well, if it will make you feel better, I'll just erase your foot. Then you'll only need one shoe!"
"I think it's time for you to go," I said, pointing to the interdimensional portal. "After you work whatever 27th century magic you have that will get me back my shoe."
"I can get you back your shoe," he said, "but first you give me that book."
"I can't give you this book," I insisted. "I have to do a book review for my Fiction Friday blog."
"I've read your blog from the future," the man said. "It's really not that great, you know."
"That's it!" I exclaimed. "Give me back my shoe and get out of my dimension. And my century. And my room."
We wrestled for a moment, and due to my lack of balance, we somehow managed to trip through the interdimensional portal. I spent the next several days battling the interdimensional traveler through space and time. I learned that his name is Steve and that he likes Mexican food.
In our travels, we discovered that if he had journeyed to another place (a bookstore) and another time (a few months from now), he could get his own copy of the book he was trying to steal from me. We laughed about this, and he used a magic uneraser to give me back my shoe. All's well that ends well.
Except when he returned me to this dimension, he brought me back too late to finish rereading the book before today. So no Fiction Friday blog.
Or I didn't manage my time well, had another insanely busy week that involved car problems, running, and a preschool arts night--and I just didn't have enough time to read.
You decide which story is fact and which one is fiction.
You see, I was going to reread the book, and indeed, had started, when an interdimensional portal opened in my room. A man stepped out and said that he was from the 27th century. He told me he needed my book so that he could do a study on ancient interdimensional literature.
I told him "Tough tomatoes. I have to write a book review. And I hope that interdimensional portal doesn't leave a mark on my wall."
He said, "We don't have tomatoes in my dimension. We did, but they were eaten by the plague of Garfs. But that's beside the point. I really need your book more than you do. And if the interdimensional portal leaves a mark, you should use a magic eraser."
"I love magic erasers!" I exclaimed. "They get crayon off of anything!"
"Is a crayon some sort of interdimensional portal?" he asked.
"It's a portal into the greatest interdimensional port of all," I said happily. "The imagination."
He looked at me kind of funny and said, "Wait a moment. Do you have magic erasers in this dimension and in this century?"
I ran to the kitchen and got a magic eraser--those little sponge thingies that get crayon off of anything. I held it up for him to see.
"What is that?" he asked, sounding both curious and somewhat horrified.
"A magic eraser," I said, shrugging.
He shook his head. "That's not a magic eraser! THIS is a magic eraser!" He pulled a large pink rubber eraser--like the kinds they sell to elementary school kids...who never really use them for anything besides chewing or throwing them at each other.
I laughed. "That's magic?"
He seemed slightly offended. "Magic? Of course it's magic!" And he proceeded to rub it on one of my shoes. My shoe magically disappeared.
"Dude!" I exclaimed, first in surprise, then in anger. "You erased my shoe!"
"I know. These magic erasers are amazing."
"No, man. You erased my shoe. I liked that shoe!"
"I don't know what you're complaining about," he said. "You still have the other one."
"What am I supposed to do with only one shoe!?" I demanded.
"Well, if it will make you feel better, I'll just erase your foot. Then you'll only need one shoe!"
"I think it's time for you to go," I said, pointing to the interdimensional portal. "After you work whatever 27th century magic you have that will get me back my shoe."
"I can get you back your shoe," he said, "but first you give me that book."
"I can't give you this book," I insisted. "I have to do a book review for my Fiction Friday blog."
"I've read your blog from the future," the man said. "It's really not that great, you know."
"That's it!" I exclaimed. "Give me back my shoe and get out of my dimension. And my century. And my room."
We wrestled for a moment, and due to my lack of balance, we somehow managed to trip through the interdimensional portal. I spent the next several days battling the interdimensional traveler through space and time. I learned that his name is Steve and that he likes Mexican food.
In our travels, we discovered that if he had journeyed to another place (a bookstore) and another time (a few months from now), he could get his own copy of the book he was trying to steal from me. We laughed about this, and he used a magic uneraser to give me back my shoe. All's well that ends well.
Except when he returned me to this dimension, he brought me back too late to finish rereading the book before today. So no Fiction Friday blog.
Or I didn't manage my time well, had another insanely busy week that involved car problems, running, and a preschool arts night--and I just didn't have enough time to read.
You decide which story is fact and which one is fiction.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Worship
Sometimes, worship happens in a building with a steeple. I put on make up and a dress and sing with the choir before going to sit in a padded chair and listen to a sermon. Then I go to my adult Bible study class, which is full of prayer and Bible-centered discussion. And it is good.
Sometimes, worship happens when I'm sitting in my room. I'm either loudly strumming on my guitar or quietly writing in a notebook. I come to meet a holy God in faded blue jeans and a tattered t-shirt. And He comes near and inspires my songs, my words. And it is good.
Sometimes, worship happens when I'm wearing sweats and a hoodie, driving to the store. A song comes on the radio that captures my soul's attention, and I can't help but sing out in praise. And it is good.
Sometimes worship happens when I'm in a work shirt, playing with one of my preschoolers. I suddenly look into her eyes and realize that only God could make a little person like that, with such a sweet little face and a distinct personality. And I say, "Do you know who made you? God made you!" And it is good.
Sometimes worship happens when I'm in shorts and a sweaty dry-fit t-shirt, running along the pavement. I'm tired, but He is my strength. I'm too out of breath to sing along with the praise songs on my mp3 player, but my heart is rejoicing. I don't know if church can happen with just one person, but I'm not alone. The birds are singing; the butterflies are dancing; the trees are clapping their hands. There's a worship service going on out here, all right. All creation is praising the Lord.
And this is His sanctuary
Sometimes, worship happens when I'm sitting in my room. I'm either loudly strumming on my guitar or quietly writing in a notebook. I come to meet a holy God in faded blue jeans and a tattered t-shirt. And He comes near and inspires my songs, my words. And it is good.
Sometimes, worship happens when I'm wearing sweats and a hoodie, driving to the store. A song comes on the radio that captures my soul's attention, and I can't help but sing out in praise. And it is good.
Sometimes worship happens when I'm in a work shirt, playing with one of my preschoolers. I suddenly look into her eyes and realize that only God could make a little person like that, with such a sweet little face and a distinct personality. And I say, "Do you know who made you? God made you!" And it is good.
Sometimes worship happens when I'm in shorts and a sweaty dry-fit t-shirt, running along the pavement. I'm tired, but He is my strength. I'm too out of breath to sing along with the praise songs on my mp3 player, but my heart is rejoicing. I don't know if church can happen with just one person, but I'm not alone. The birds are singing; the butterflies are dancing; the trees are clapping their hands. There's a worship service going on out here, all right. All creation is praising the Lord.
And this is His sanctuary
It is good.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Monday Blahg: The Change in Me
They changed blogspot. My actual blog probably looks exactly the same, but I'm writing this post in a little text box that looks completely different from the old text box. There's nothing I can do about it, and I'm sure I'll adjust to the changes soon, but I still don't like it. I don't like change. That's why I haven't switched over to Timeline on Facebook yet, though I know they're going to force the change eventually. I'm just delaying it as long as humanly possible. By the time they switch me over, everyone else will already be used to Timeline, and I'll be the only one who's confused.
But that's no different from now it usually is. The fact that I'm confused will never change. That is comforting--I guess.
Change isn't my favorite thing, but there seems to be a lot of changes all around me. In fact, I think I've changed a lot recently, too. I don't know if anyone else sees it, but I feel so different than I did from just a few months ago. I think this change has been gradual, so gradual I haven't taken too much notice of it. I just feel--I don't know how to describe it. The first word that came to mind to describe the way I'm feeling is "happy," but that's not really right. I am feeling happy, except my happiness is just that--happiness. And happiness is one of those things that changes like the weather.
For instance, while I'm generally pretty happy, Saturday I had a time where I wasn't so happy. I spent the day being busy working on something for an event. I wasn't careful with time and had to rush rush rush to finish what I was doing and then rush rush rush to get to work on time. When I got there, I realized the schedule hadn't been made out correctly, and consequently I was there an hour earlier than I needed to be. I was so upset that I had rushed and stressed when I had a whole extra hour. It worked out, though. The girl I relieved just went home an hour early, and everything was fine.
Then I got an email that informed me that an event I'd been stressing about had been cancelled. I'd been working on something for this event all day, which was fun, but still really stressful. So I did all that work for pretty much nothing. I was not feeling happy at that moment. Saturday afternoon was not a happy afternoon. I called my roommate and whined to her about all of it, and then I felt better, prayed, refocused my perspective, and went back into happy mode. But happiness, while good, is not something reliable. It changes with circumstances, and (just between you and me) I'm just a little bit on the moody side. The change in me isn't something that fluctuates that much.
The second word I thought of to describe the way I'm feeling is "confident," but that's not quite right, either. Because, dude, I've pretty much come to the realization that I'm never going to be confident. Not really. I have moments where I feel good about myself, but like happiness, these moments are fleeting. For every victory I could claim that would make me feel confident (like having a good hair day, saying exactly the right thing at exactly the right time, going on a really good run), I've got about a gazbillion failures to cancel them out (my hair is usually out of control and trying to eat small children, I usually say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time, and my best runs are pathetic, especially when you consider that there are people who can run marathons in much less time than it takes me to run ten miles). And even if I always looked perfect, always acted and spoke eloquently and graciously, and was good at everything, I'd still have absolutely nothing to boast about. Those who can finish 26.2 miles in about two hours are amazing, but no matter what they believe, I know God has made their bodies. He's crafted and gifted them to be crazy-fast/strong runners--while training has a lot to do with it, no amount of training can give you that kind of amazing talent. I could train for years and still never run that fast (especially for that long). And I've been gifted in writing and in music, but I can't claim credit for those things. I can work to improve the skills I have, but I didn't will myself to have the initial talent. So the things that I'm "good at" aren't reasons for me to be confident. So...confidence isn't the difference in me.
I thought about it for a while, and then I realized what it was. The answer is pretty obvious. What's the difference in me?
I'm Hopeful.
One of the characters in the first book I wrote really struggles with the concept of Hope, and this is the character I've written who is most like me. As a writer, I've really put him through a lot...his life hasn't been easy, and it's not going to get easier. I have other books planned for him in which he will grow and learn and eventually realize what Hope is. It isn't the knowledge or expectation that everything is going to turn out exactly how we want it to. It isn't the belief that everything is going to always be happy or perfect. It's the knowledge that whatever happens, everything is going to be okay. God is in control. God is working all things together for good. When our Hope is in the Lord, it doesn't matter what else happens. Circumstances can change. Happiness and confidence in self, etc. are fleeting. But God? God is faithful. He doesn't change. And the change in me, whether anyone else has seen it or not, is that I'm finally really learning to HOPE in Him.
The more I become like Him, the more I'm also becoming more of the me He has designed me to be. I really like being me. He has only made one of me, and when I look at it that way, who else would I want to be? Even with all my failures and moods and imperfections, He's working in me and through me. He's in control of all that's going on around me, no matter how much change there is. So I've got good reason to be Hopeful.
Last week:
-- I ran 11 miles (in a longer time than it took a lot of people to finish the Boston marathon). I was told by about three different people that I need to back off a little and not run so much. They say (from experience that I really should listen to) that since I'm running this long now, I'm already trained up for a half marathon. But, I'm really enjoying the running and pushing my limits. I want to actually run 13 miles before I have to run 13 miles, if that makes sense. Plus, I'm burning LOTS of calories with this much running, and that lets me eat more.
-- I played guitar some more. I really need to keep this up. I think after the half marathon, my next big plan is to work towards getting my cds recorded. I'm eating the whale of goals for 2012, one bite at a time. Or learning how to do that, anyway.
-- After the stress of Saturday, I took it easy on Sunday and watched "Johnny English Reborn" with my roommate. We both LOVE Rowan Atkinson and the first Johnny English movie. We tried to see it in theaters (yay!) and it wasn't playing around here (boo!), but I was able to get it for free from Redbox with a promo code (yay!). Great flick. It wasn't as good as the first, but it was still hilarious--and there was an extra scene during the credits that might be one of my favorite Rowan Atkinson moments everrrrr.
-- I got a little more work done on some job application stuff. I need to get my act together and finish that up. I hate doing grown up stuff. I hate change--but I really feel like it's time for something different. And I'm feeling remarkably Hopeful! The thing about Hope is that it leaves no room for fear. I'm not afraid to try, because I know that whatever happens, God is in control.
This week:
-- I will aim for 12 miles--despite the advice to back off on the running. I still have about four weeks to go, and I definitely will allow my body some good rest time as the day of the half-marathon approaches, but for now, I really want to just keep up with my own running plan.
Also, I want to apologize for blogging about running so much, but it's kind of a big deal to me. I don't promise that I'll stop blogging about running after the half-marathon on May 19, but I probably will stop blogging SO MUCH about it. The half-marathon and training is a major part of what's going on in my life right now. After I accomplish that goal, I'll try to make more time for other goals. Then blog about them until all my readers go crazy....
-- I hope to play my guitar more. I really think there's a song in the works--at least some lyrics. Music usually doesn't come as easily as the lyrics--but sometimes it all comes together in ways that completely surprises me. I can't claim credit for that, either.
-- I really hope to reread that book so I can review it--and not post another lame Fiction Friday blog. We'll see!
-- I'm going to see a display of Princess Diana's dresses with my roommate. Fashion isn't my thing, but I saw an ad for it and knew that my roommate would love it. And I am a little interested in Princess Diana's dresses--80's-90's fashion that isn't tacky!? Gasp! The tickets were cheap, and I'm really trying to do as many fun things with the roommate as humanly possible. She's moving away in just a couple months now, and I'm going to miss her terribly. More changes!
But even with all these changes, I can't ignore the change in me. I'm Hopeful. The Lord is faithful. And no matter what happens in the next few months, it's all gonna be okay. Maybe even more than okay. I'm just holding on (or letting go) and waiting to see what's coming. The Lord is so good!
Hopeful Monday!
But that's no different from now it usually is. The fact that I'm confused will never change. That is comforting--I guess.
Change isn't my favorite thing, but there seems to be a lot of changes all around me. In fact, I think I've changed a lot recently, too. I don't know if anyone else sees it, but I feel so different than I did from just a few months ago. I think this change has been gradual, so gradual I haven't taken too much notice of it. I just feel--I don't know how to describe it. The first word that came to mind to describe the way I'm feeling is "happy," but that's not really right. I am feeling happy, except my happiness is just that--happiness. And happiness is one of those things that changes like the weather.
For instance, while I'm generally pretty happy, Saturday I had a time where I wasn't so happy. I spent the day being busy working on something for an event. I wasn't careful with time and had to rush rush rush to finish what I was doing and then rush rush rush to get to work on time. When I got there, I realized the schedule hadn't been made out correctly, and consequently I was there an hour earlier than I needed to be. I was so upset that I had rushed and stressed when I had a whole extra hour. It worked out, though. The girl I relieved just went home an hour early, and everything was fine.
Then I got an email that informed me that an event I'd been stressing about had been cancelled. I'd been working on something for this event all day, which was fun, but still really stressful. So I did all that work for pretty much nothing. I was not feeling happy at that moment. Saturday afternoon was not a happy afternoon. I called my roommate and whined to her about all of it, and then I felt better, prayed, refocused my perspective, and went back into happy mode. But happiness, while good, is not something reliable. It changes with circumstances, and (just between you and me) I'm just a little bit on the moody side. The change in me isn't something that fluctuates that much.
The second word I thought of to describe the way I'm feeling is "confident," but that's not quite right, either. Because, dude, I've pretty much come to the realization that I'm never going to be confident. Not really. I have moments where I feel good about myself, but like happiness, these moments are fleeting. For every victory I could claim that would make me feel confident (like having a good hair day, saying exactly the right thing at exactly the right time, going on a really good run), I've got about a gazbillion failures to cancel them out (my hair is usually out of control and trying to eat small children, I usually say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time, and my best runs are pathetic, especially when you consider that there are people who can run marathons in much less time than it takes me to run ten miles). And even if I always looked perfect, always acted and spoke eloquently and graciously, and was good at everything, I'd still have absolutely nothing to boast about. Those who can finish 26.2 miles in about two hours are amazing, but no matter what they believe, I know God has made their bodies. He's crafted and gifted them to be crazy-fast/strong runners--while training has a lot to do with it, no amount of training can give you that kind of amazing talent. I could train for years and still never run that fast (especially for that long). And I've been gifted in writing and in music, but I can't claim credit for those things. I can work to improve the skills I have, but I didn't will myself to have the initial talent. So the things that I'm "good at" aren't reasons for me to be confident. So...confidence isn't the difference in me.
I thought about it for a while, and then I realized what it was. The answer is pretty obvious. What's the difference in me?
I'm Hopeful.
One of the characters in the first book I wrote really struggles with the concept of Hope, and this is the character I've written who is most like me. As a writer, I've really put him through a lot...his life hasn't been easy, and it's not going to get easier. I have other books planned for him in which he will grow and learn and eventually realize what Hope is. It isn't the knowledge or expectation that everything is going to turn out exactly how we want it to. It isn't the belief that everything is going to always be happy or perfect. It's the knowledge that whatever happens, everything is going to be okay. God is in control. God is working all things together for good. When our Hope is in the Lord, it doesn't matter what else happens. Circumstances can change. Happiness and confidence in self, etc. are fleeting. But God? God is faithful. He doesn't change. And the change in me, whether anyone else has seen it or not, is that I'm finally really learning to HOPE in Him.
The more I become like Him, the more I'm also becoming more of the me He has designed me to be. I really like being me. He has only made one of me, and when I look at it that way, who else would I want to be? Even with all my failures and moods and imperfections, He's working in me and through me. He's in control of all that's going on around me, no matter how much change there is. So I've got good reason to be Hopeful.
Last week:
-- I ran 11 miles (in a longer time than it took a lot of people to finish the Boston marathon). I was told by about three different people that I need to back off a little and not run so much. They say (from experience that I really should listen to) that since I'm running this long now, I'm already trained up for a half marathon. But, I'm really enjoying the running and pushing my limits. I want to actually run 13 miles before I have to run 13 miles, if that makes sense. Plus, I'm burning LOTS of calories with this much running, and that lets me eat more.
-- I played guitar some more. I really need to keep this up. I think after the half marathon, my next big plan is to work towards getting my cds recorded. I'm eating the whale of goals for 2012, one bite at a time. Or learning how to do that, anyway.
-- After the stress of Saturday, I took it easy on Sunday and watched "Johnny English Reborn" with my roommate. We both LOVE Rowan Atkinson and the first Johnny English movie. We tried to see it in theaters (yay!) and it wasn't playing around here (boo!), but I was able to get it for free from Redbox with a promo code (yay!). Great flick. It wasn't as good as the first, but it was still hilarious--and there was an extra scene during the credits that might be one of my favorite Rowan Atkinson moments everrrrr.
-- I got a little more work done on some job application stuff. I need to get my act together and finish that up. I hate doing grown up stuff. I hate change--but I really feel like it's time for something different. And I'm feeling remarkably Hopeful! The thing about Hope is that it leaves no room for fear. I'm not afraid to try, because I know that whatever happens, God is in control.
This week:
-- I will aim for 12 miles--despite the advice to back off on the running. I still have about four weeks to go, and I definitely will allow my body some good rest time as the day of the half-marathon approaches, but for now, I really want to just keep up with my own running plan.
Also, I want to apologize for blogging about running so much, but it's kind of a big deal to me. I don't promise that I'll stop blogging about running after the half-marathon on May 19, but I probably will stop blogging SO MUCH about it. The half-marathon and training is a major part of what's going on in my life right now. After I accomplish that goal, I'll try to make more time for other goals. Then blog about them until all my readers go crazy....
-- I hope to play my guitar more. I really think there's a song in the works--at least some lyrics. Music usually doesn't come as easily as the lyrics--but sometimes it all comes together in ways that completely surprises me. I can't claim credit for that, either.
-- I really hope to reread that book so I can review it--and not post another lame Fiction Friday blog. We'll see!
-- I'm going to see a display of Princess Diana's dresses with my roommate. Fashion isn't my thing, but I saw an ad for it and knew that my roommate would love it. And I am a little interested in Princess Diana's dresses--80's-90's fashion that isn't tacky!? Gasp! The tickets were cheap, and I'm really trying to do as many fun things with the roommate as humanly possible. She's moving away in just a couple months now, and I'm going to miss her terribly. More changes!
But even with all these changes, I can't ignore the change in me. I'm Hopeful. The Lord is faithful. And no matter what happens in the next few months, it's all gonna be okay. Maybe even more than okay. I'm just holding on (or letting go) and waiting to see what's coming. The Lord is so good!
Hopeful Monday!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Fiction Friday: Lame Lists
I've had a busy week and haven't had time to reread a book I had planned to review for Fiction Friday. Instead, I'm just going to post some of my favorite literary things. Lame? Yes.
Sorry.
Five Top Favorite Book Series:
1. The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
-Fave book from the series: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
2. The Time Quartet by Madeleine L'Engle
-Fave book from the series (and favorite novel in general): A Wrinkle in Time
3. Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
-Fave book from the series: The Return of the King
4. Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
-Fave book from the series: either The Prisoner of Azkaban or The Half-Blood Prince. I think.
5. The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
-Fave book from the series: Taran Wanderer
Honorable Mentions: The Hunger Games books by Suzanne Collins, Anne of Green Gables books by L. M. Montgomery, "Austin Family" books by Madeleine L'Engle, Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books by Douglas Adams, Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis, Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne
Top Five Film Adaptations of Novels:
1. The Princess Bride, novel AND screenplay by William Goldman
2. The Return of the King, novel by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, novel by J. K. Rowling
4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, novel (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) by Roald Dahl
5. Jurassic Park, novel by Michael Chriton
Honorable Mentions: Ramona and Beezus, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (both parts), Water for Elephants, 10 Things I Hate About You
Five LEAST FAVORITE Film Adaptations
1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, novel by J. K. Rowling, film by morons
2. A Wrinkle in Time, novel by Madeleine L'Engle, film by malicious beings intent on mutilating one of the greatest works of fiction of all time
3. Eragon, novel by Christopher Paolini, film by people who didn't seem to realize this would have made a brilliant SERIES of movies
4. 2010: The Year We Make Contact, novel (2010: Odyssey Two) by Arthur C. Clarke, film by people who probably thought it was a good idea at the time
5. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005 version), novel by Douglas Adams, film by people who were brilliant enough to cast Zooey Deschanel and Alan Rickman, yet who still just don't seem to get it
Dishonorable Mention: Twilight
Five Film Adaptations that were vastly different from the books, yet, IMO, still highly enjoyable:
1. Pollyanna, novel by Elanor Porter, film by Disney
2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, novel by Victor Hugo, film by Disney
3. The Sword and the Stone, novel by T. H. White, film by Disney
4. Mary Poppins, novel by P. L. Travers, film by Disney
5. The Black Cauldron, novel (mashup of The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron) by Lloyd Alexander, film by Disney (I'm totally seeing a theme here)
Honorable mentions: Alice in Wonderland, The Three Musketeers, and The Jungle Book. All wonderfully screwed up by Disney.
Top Five Fictional Characters (that I didn't invent)
1. Meg Murray from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Lucy Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
4. Vicky Austin from A Ring of Endless Light (etc.) by Madeleine L'Engle
5. Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
Honorable Mentions: Eeyore, (I'm ashamed to admit it--okay, so I'm not) Peeta Mellark, Anne Shirley/Blythe, Puddleglum, Inigo Montoya, Taran
Top Five Dead Writers
1. Madeleine L'Engle
2. C. S. Lewis
3. Lloyd Alexander
4. J. R. R. Tolkien
5. Alfred Lord Tennyson
Honorable Mentions: Douglas Adams, L. M. Montgomery, A. A. Milne, Kenneth Grahame, Beatrix Potter, Shel Silversteen, Roald Dahl
Top Five Writers Who Are Still Alive:
1. J. K. Rowling
2. Suzanne Collins
3. William Goldman
4. Beverly Cleary
5. Tie among several authors who wrote books I loved as a kid (and as an adult): Katherine Paterson, Jerry Spinelli, Louis Sachar, Judy Blume, James Howe, Caroline B. Cooney, etc.
Honorable Mentions: Homer Hickman, Lemony Snicket
Thanks for reading this drudgery. Please now feel the need to bombard my comments with all of your favorite and least favorite things, and I'll promise to read them.
Again, I am sorry for this boring blog of lame lists. Please accept my apology and this lame picture of me holding the book with my least favorite title:
Sorry.
Five Top Favorite Book Series:
1. The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
-Fave book from the series: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
2. The Time Quartet by Madeleine L'Engle
-Fave book from the series (and favorite novel in general): A Wrinkle in Time
3. Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
-Fave book from the series: The Return of the King
4. Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
-Fave book from the series: either The Prisoner of Azkaban or The Half-Blood Prince. I think.
5. The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
-Fave book from the series: Taran Wanderer
Honorable Mentions: The Hunger Games books by Suzanne Collins, Anne of Green Gables books by L. M. Montgomery, "Austin Family" books by Madeleine L'Engle, Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books by Douglas Adams, Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis, Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne
Top Five Film Adaptations of Novels:
1. The Princess Bride, novel AND screenplay by William Goldman
2. The Return of the King, novel by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, novel by J. K. Rowling
4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, novel (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) by Roald Dahl
5. Jurassic Park, novel by Michael Chriton
Honorable Mentions: Ramona and Beezus, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (both parts), Water for Elephants, 10 Things I Hate About You
Five LEAST FAVORITE Film Adaptations
1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, novel by J. K. Rowling, film by morons
2. A Wrinkle in Time, novel by Madeleine L'Engle, film by malicious beings intent on mutilating one of the greatest works of fiction of all time
3. Eragon, novel by Christopher Paolini, film by people who didn't seem to realize this would have made a brilliant SERIES of movies
4. 2010: The Year We Make Contact, novel (2010: Odyssey Two) by Arthur C. Clarke, film by people who probably thought it was a good idea at the time
5. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005 version), novel by Douglas Adams, film by people who were brilliant enough to cast Zooey Deschanel and Alan Rickman, yet who still just don't seem to get it
Dishonorable Mention: Twilight
Five Film Adaptations that were vastly different from the books, yet, IMO, still highly enjoyable:
1. Pollyanna, novel by Elanor Porter, film by Disney
2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, novel by Victor Hugo, film by Disney
3. The Sword and the Stone, novel by T. H. White, film by Disney
4. Mary Poppins, novel by P. L. Travers, film by Disney
5. The Black Cauldron, novel (mashup of The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron) by Lloyd Alexander, film by Disney (I'm totally seeing a theme here)
Honorable mentions: Alice in Wonderland, The Three Musketeers, and The Jungle Book. All wonderfully screwed up by Disney.
Top Five Fictional Characters (that I didn't invent)
1. Meg Murray from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Lucy Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
4. Vicky Austin from A Ring of Endless Light (etc.) by Madeleine L'Engle
5. Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
Honorable Mentions: Eeyore, (I'm ashamed to admit it--okay, so I'm not) Peeta Mellark, Anne Shirley/Blythe, Puddleglum, Inigo Montoya, Taran
Top Five Dead Writers
1. Madeleine L'Engle
2. C. S. Lewis
3. Lloyd Alexander
4. J. R. R. Tolkien
5. Alfred Lord Tennyson
Honorable Mentions: Douglas Adams, L. M. Montgomery, A. A. Milne, Kenneth Grahame, Beatrix Potter, Shel Silversteen, Roald Dahl
Top Five Writers Who Are Still Alive:
1. J. K. Rowling
2. Suzanne Collins
3. William Goldman
4. Beverly Cleary
5. Tie among several authors who wrote books I loved as a kid (and as an adult): Katherine Paterson, Jerry Spinelli, Louis Sachar, Judy Blume, James Howe, Caroline B. Cooney, etc.
Honorable Mentions: Homer Hickman, Lemony Snicket
Thanks for reading this drudgery. Please now feel the need to bombard my comments with all of your favorite and least favorite things, and I'll promise to read them.
Again, I am sorry for this boring blog of lame lists. Please accept my apology and this lame picture of me holding the book with my least favorite title:
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