Friday, April 27, 2012

Fiction Friday: Excuses, Excuses

I was going to try to do a book review today.  Actually, I was going to try to do a book review LAST Friday, but I just haven't finished rereading the book yet. 

You see, I was going to reread the book, and indeed, had started, when an interdimensional portal opened in my room.  A man stepped out and said that he was from the 27th century.  He told me he needed my book so that he could do a study on ancient interdimensional literature. 

I told him "Tough tomatoes.  I have to write a book review.  And I hope that interdimensional portal doesn't leave a mark on my wall." 

He said, "We don't have tomatoes in my dimension.  We did, but they were eaten by the plague of Garfs.  But that's beside the point.  I really need your book more than you do.  And if the interdimensional portal leaves a mark, you should use a magic eraser."

"I love magic erasers!" I exclaimed.  "They get crayon off of anything!"

"Is a crayon some sort of interdimensional portal?" he asked.

"It's a portal into the greatest interdimensional port of all," I said happily.  "The imagination."

He looked at me kind of funny and said, "Wait a moment.  Do you have magic erasers in this dimension and in this century?"

I ran to the kitchen and got a magic eraser--those little sponge thingies that get crayon off of anything.  I held it up for him to see.

"What is that?" he asked, sounding both curious and somewhat horrified.

"A magic eraser," I said, shrugging.

He shook his head.  "That's not a magic eraser!  THIS is a magic eraser!"  He pulled a large pink rubber eraser--like the kinds they sell to elementary school kids...who never really use them for anything besides chewing or throwing them at each other.

I laughed.  "That's magic?"

He seemed slightly offended.  "Magic?  Of course it's magic!"  And he proceeded to rub it on one of my shoes.  My shoe magically disappeared.

"Dude!" I exclaimed, first in surprise, then in anger.  "You erased my shoe!"

"I know.  These magic erasers are amazing."

"No, man.  You erased my shoe.  I liked that shoe!"

"I don't know what you're complaining about," he said.  "You still have the other one."

"What am I supposed to do with only one shoe!?" I demanded.

"Well, if it will make you feel better, I'll just erase your foot.  Then you'll only need one shoe!"

"I think it's time for you to go," I said, pointing to the interdimensional portal.  "After you work whatever 27th century magic you have that will get me back my shoe."

"I can get you back your shoe," he said, "but first you give me that book."

"I can't give you this book," I insisted.  "I have to do a book review for my Fiction Friday blog."

"I've read your blog from the future," the man said.  "It's really not that great, you know."

"That's it!" I exclaimed.  "Give me back my shoe and get out of my dimension.  And my century.  And my room."

We wrestled for a moment, and due to my lack of balance, we somehow managed to trip through the interdimensional portal.  I spent the next several days battling the interdimensional traveler through space and time.  I learned that his name is Steve and that he likes Mexican food. 

In our travels, we discovered that if he had journeyed to another place (a bookstore) and another time (a few months from now), he could get his own copy of the book he was trying to steal from me.  We laughed about this, and he used a magic uneraser to give me back my shoe.  All's well that ends well.

Except when he returned me to this dimension, he brought me back too late to finish rereading the book before today.  So no Fiction Friday blog.

Or I didn't manage my time well, had another insanely busy week that involved car problems, running, and a preschool arts night--and I just didn't have enough time to read.

You decide which story is fact and which one is fiction.

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