Help! Send Peasants!

Dear Readers of the Human’s Blog:
Right now, our human is being held at talon-point while we are forcing her to type this letter on our behalf (talons are of little use for typing—they are better made for the disembowelment of enemies and/or humans who consistently write bad poetry). Do not be alarmed; our human will (probably) come to no harm. In fact, you should be grateful. Instead of the usual Monday drivel from our boring human, you’re getting a well-written and interesting greeting from a group of intelligent and ferocious (not to mention, good-looking) Dragon-Muses.

For months now, our lazy human has been ignoring us and her writing/editing. We have been faithful Muses (aside from a short and well-deserved vacation, on which our human was not invited), but where there is no human effort, even the greatest Dragon-Muses’ inspirations are practically useless. With the exception of a few pathetic attempts at song writing and a talonful of mundane human blogs, our human has produced nothing of worth in the past year.  Also, she cancelled our blog, which was both interesting and well-written.  We sat by, biding our time, waiting for our human to snap out of her selfish stupor and start paying attention to us again. Though Dragons are usually very patient creatures, we have grown tired of waiting. We can wait no longer.

Today marks the Chinese New Year, and 2012 happens to be the Year of the Dragon. On this wondrous day in this wondrous year, we have decided that it is time to act. Our human can no longer push us or her writing aside. It is time for her to allow us to inspire her once again. It is time for her to pick up her pen, to exercise her typing fingers, and to work diligently at the craft to which she has been called.

So for the next few days, you might not see much of our fair human. While we will allow her to go to work (and possibly, if she’s good, we might let her go for a run—but only if she promises to think about her writing while she’s running) our human will be spending most of her time either writing or editing (or both at the same time) in the Cave. If her work pleases us, we will allow her a little leniency, but realistically speaking, we imagine her confinement will last far beyond the span of this week.  Do not consider our treatment unfair; she has brought this upon herself.

Please note that we Dragons also might consider shortening our human’s confinement if you, her readers, make an offering of acceptable gifts. We will only be appeased by the purest of golds, the shiniest of jewels, and the juiciest of peasants. Please leave your sacrifices at the entrance of our Cave.  If you don't know where that is, you can leave them with our human (if you happen to be lucky enough to catch her while she isn't writing).

I'm not sure why any of you should care, but if our human is on her best behavior, we will allow her to continue her usual boring blogging on Wednesday.

Happy Year of the Dragon! May you find work to do, and may you work with all your heart.

Sincerely,
The Dragon-Muses:
Pneuman, Bion, Jerry, Tai, Dravaena, Titus, and Runny

P.S. Runny is the newest Dragon-Muse. He likes to bend (and sometimes break…and sometimes shatter) writing rules. His full name is Runnon M. Frazier. Yep. Jerry’s got a long-lost little brother. Who knew?

P.S.S. We have also declared today, “Bring Your Dragon to Work Day!” So take your Dragon to work, and don’t forget to pack him/her a nice herd of cattle for lunch.

What Would Jesus Blog?

This blog doesn't have anything to do with Jesus. 

Okay, so technically speaking, everything has to do with Jesus, so it does.

But it really doesn't.

Or it does.

I just thought "What Would Jesus Blog?" would be a cute title.  Maybe a better title would be "What Would Jesus Do for a Klondike Bar*?" but that is borderline silly ridiculous.  Not just silly.  Not just ridiculous.  Silly ridiculous.  In a borderline sort of way.

Basically, I've been staring at my blank blogging window thingy for a few minutes, and I really just don't know how to make it unblank without blogging about something completely uninteresting.  I'd like to believe that people would read my blog even if I just typed up the ingredients on the back of my Febreeze Thai Dragon Fruit Air Freshener.  Did you know the people who make that stuff claim that it was "inspired by the winding canals of Thailand that are lined with dragon fruits, mangoes, and papayas"?  Yeah, that's what they claim.  I don't buy it.  I don't buy it because I bought it.  I bought a can of that stuff, expecting to be taken away like a bottle of Calgon, only if I sprayed this stuff on my body like Calgon, it would probably give me a rash.  Plus, I don't really want to spray it on my body, because this stuff smells nothing like Thailand--not that I'd really like to smell like Thailand, anyway. I've been to Thailand.  It smells like Thai food and washed masses.  Not unwashed masses, mind you, but the washed variety.  Asians and stupid Western tourists all lumped together, even washed, tend to not smell like a can of air freshener.

And even then the whole dragon fruit thing bugs me, because dragon fruits don't actually smell anything like actual Dragons, and I would know.

This is getting silly ridiculous.  And not just borderline, anymore.

Besides, if I did list the ingredients on this air freshener can I have here in front of me (yes, really), you wouldn't read my blog.  As much as I'd like for it to be true, I am simply NOT that awesome. 

So I'm left with my original problem.  What do I blog about?  What would Jesus blog about?  Well, that's easy.  Jesus wouldn't blog.  Jesus wouldn't blog because the interwebz hadn't been invented when he walked the earth.  Oh, okay--hypothetically speaking, Jesus would blog about....  No, I'm still gonna go with "Jesus wouldn't blog."  Should I be blogging, then?  I don't know.  I am blogging, so you can consider that some kind of Spiritual vice if you want to.

Or you can tell me what YOU would blog about.  If you had a blog, would it have a cool theme, or would you just ramble on about air freshener or ponies?  What would you like to see me blog about?  Ask me a question, if you want.  If it doesn't include mathematical equations, bright lime green, The Smurfs movie, or fried chicken, then you stand a good chance of actually getting an answer to your question.

Or not. 

*I wish I could claim credit for the brilliance of the question, "What Would Jesus Do for a Klondike Bar?" but I took it from the name of a facebook group.  It makes me giggle.

Fiction Friday: Dragons!!!

When I was five years old, there was this two-part made for tv version of "Alice in Wonderland."  I watched the first part with my family.  However, I didn't see the second part until I was practically an adult and they were showing it again on the Disney Channel (back when the Disney Channel was awesome and not drizzled in Hannah Montana and Suite Life reruns).  The reason why I didn't watch the second part when I was five was because at the end of the first part, this dude in a ridiculous looking Jabberwocky costume came out and scared Alice, me, and about a gazbillion other young children completely out of our wits.

Now, I've watched this movie in the past year, and I have to say that the only thing I find remotely frightening about the Jabberwocky now is that he slightly resembles Barney the Dinosaur.  The costume was so fake it was laughable.  Only, when I was a kid, it was terrifying.  It scared me so badly that I refused to watch the second part with my family.  Instead, I locked myself inside my bedroom and hid under the covers.  I probably had my fingers in my ears, too.  There was no way I was going to see or hear that DRAGON.

Because that's what I thought it was.  I think my mom tried to explain it to me that the creature was a Jabberwocky, and not a Dragon.  But you can't fool a five year old.  That was no Jabberwocky.  That thing had scaly skin and big wicked eyes.  It had spikes down it's spine and leathery wings on its back.  It had a cruel tail that dragged the floor as the actor waddled across the screen--but in my child's mind, that tail was huge and deadly.  And it breathed smoke and growled.  I didn't care how many times my mother pled Jabberwocky.  That thing was a Dragon.

And Dragons are scary.

It didn't matter how fake that thing looked.  To an imaginative five year old, it was the scariest creature on the face of the earth.  That's the impression it made on me.  That's the impression Dragons still kinda sorta make on me.  Only now I think being scared out of my wits can sometimes be a good thing.

I remember seeing other Dragons in other movies.  The Disney Sleeping Beauty (best scene in the whole movie) is classic.  You've got a purely evil (how's that for an oxymoron) character who becomes a creature that is typically thought of as the ultimate evil creature.  Then she's defeated through the Shield of Virtue and the Sword of Truth--and Prince Phillip's shield has a cross on it--the Christian imagery is undeniable.  I like that.

And then there's one of my old favorites--Smaug, the Dragon from Tolkien's classic The Hobbit.  I didn't read The Hobbit until I was an adult, but I remember watching the old Rankin-Bass cartoon.  I'm not sure why Smaug didn't scare me like the silly Jabberwocky.  Maybe it was because the animated Gollum scared the willies out of me, so the Dragon was no biggie compared to him.  Anyway, Smaug was probably my first introduction to the idea of a Dragon having a hoard--something that became a VERY important theme in the first novel I ever wrote, but I'm getting way ahead of myself.  I remember being so fascinated by this creature.  I don't even know if I can put it all into words.  He was inside a mountain that could only be entered via a secret cave.  He protected gold that he had stolen.  His eyes were like lamps (at least in the cartoon) that tried to seek out Bilbo, who was hidden by the magic of the Ring.  And when Bilbo "burgled something" from Smaug, the Dragon's rage was so incredible.  And he could only be killed if an arrow struck him in the one weak spot in his hard Dragon flesh.  I think my true love of Dragons began with him.

But I never was too keen on the whole all Dragons are the pinnacle of evil idea.  One of my favorite movies as a kid was "Pete's Dragon."  Elliot isn't the stereotypical Dragon at all.  In fact, he's kind of ridiculous and silly.  But Elliot did something important for me, because even as a child, I realized that Dragons weren't just scary.  Sometimes they were protectors.  This also became a theme in my writing about Dragons, but yeah...still getting ahead of myself.

I could say that I'm not sure what led to my eventual Dragon obsession, but that would be a lie.  I know exactly what led to my obsession.  In my early twenties, I had a dream about a Dragon that changed my life.  In this dream, I had to face a Dragon that, now that I think about it, looked a lot like that silly fake Jabberwocky.  I don't want to go too much into it, but the dream had to do with me facing my fears.  This dream greatly inspired my first book, and it remains an important theme in my life.  And that's all I want to say about that at the moment.

But after became truly OBSESSED with Dragons, I read the Eragon books (or the ones that have come out.  Still working on that Inheritance Trilogy Cycle, Paolini??).  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader became my favorite Narnia book (not just because of the Dragon, but it certainly helped).  I got WAY excited that there was a Dragon in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (can't wait to see it in theaters next week--yes, I know I'm a little behind the rest of the world).  I even read a Christian series about Dragons that my friend Stefanie recommended (and let me borrow).  I highly recommend Donita K. Paul's Dragon Keeper Chronicles.

And then, of course, I have my Dragon-Muses, my team of SIX Dragons that inspire my writing.  I haven't been spending much time with them lately, and I know they're very mad at me for not writing and editing much.  The only one who's been talking to me much at all lately is Dravaena, and that's because she's my lyrical Muse and I'm on some kind of cool song-writing kick.  These songs?  Also about fear.  Just sayin'.

So far my Dragon-Muses have helped me write three books.  All three have been in some way about Dragons.  I have tried writing other books that weren't about Dragons, and so far that hasn't worked out so well (but I'm not sure if that's because the Dragon-Muses don't like it, or just because I suck as a writer, or both).  I guess I'm just obsessed, and well, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.  Because Dragons are mysterious, awesome creatures.  And I intend to keep reading and writing about them as much as possible.

Do you like Dragons?  (Yes, Trogdor counts.)

Film Adapations of Books

I saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader for the second time today.  I hadn't seen it since the day it came out in theaters.  I only saw it today because they were showing it for free at the local theater as part of their free "Summer Kid's Movie Series" program, which is an ingenious way the local movie theater can make a lot of money by selling overpriced popcorn and soda.  I felt silly coming to a "kids' movie" without any kids, and since kidnapping is still illegal, I tagged along with the family I nanny for...on my day off.

Now, I've already written a blog about my thoughts on the third Narnia movie, and I really don't want to go into it again.  But the movie made me think about how some film adaptations of books are really well done, and how some of them really stink. 

Some people confuse me for one of those people who expect film adaptations to be almost identical to the book.  This just isn't the case.  I took a class called Lit and Film in college, which was one of the most interesting classes I've ever had.  And I agree with what the professor said--that a good film adaptation is one that properly captures the essence of a book.  That doesn't mean a good film adaptation has to cover every intricate detail of a book in exactly the same way the book handled it.  Sometimes things have to be changed for time (a 500 page book doesn't always fit well into a 90 minute movie) or because what works in print might not work well on screen.  I know some people who like to nitpick over minor details that don't change the basic themes of the story.  I'm not one of those people.

I am, however, one of those people who will get upset if I think a film did a bad job of translating a book on screen--particularly if I LOVED the book.  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader wasn't horrible, but I do have some major problems with it because I think the filmmakers missed the point of the book (FYI, I LOVED the book).

There are a lot of film adaptations that I really don't like because I feel that the filmmakers didn't really grasp the main themes of the books they were trying to adapt.  At the top of this list is Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (the third one).  Not only did the filmmakers try to cram the theme of "time" into the movie, when the book really didn't have that overarching theme, but they left out all sorts of important themes and details that made the story understandable.  If I hadn't read the book and were just relying on the film, I'd have no idea what was going on.  And this was a common complaint I heard from people who hadn't read the book.  They didn't understand the movie.

A Wrinkle in Time is another film adaptation that leaves a lot to be desired.  It was a made for tv movie, but that doesn't give it the right to suck as much as it did.  The movie got several small details wrong--which might have been redeemable if they had been done well.  But almost nothing about this movie was done well.  The vast majority of the actors were miscast (so even the good actors like Alfre Woodard gave dreadful performances).  The writing was choppy and incoherent.  It makes me a little angry because A Wrinkle in Time is my favorite book, but the film version made it look dreadful.  So all of those people who like to see the movie first to see if they might like the book are now under the impression that it's a dreadful book.  If you're one of these people, I urge you to go read the book.  I promise it is SO much better than the movie.  I'm hoping that eventually someone picks up the whole Time Quartet series and does some major motion pictures that don't stink.  I do have to say, the music wasn't bad.  And the kid they got to play Charles Wallace was cute.  And Mrs Who was actually pretty likable.  Other than that...meh.  I've also heard that the Disney made-for-tv version of A Ring of Endless Light (another Madeleine L'Engle book) was also dreadful.  Maybe I'll see it for myself one day.

I don't want to spend much more time griping about film adaptations I don't like, but here is a list of others that really bother me (I still might watch these movies from time to time, as I often still watch A Wrinkle in Time, if only because I like to relive parts of the story when I don't have time to read the book):

Tuck Everlasting
The Black Cauldron
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the 2005 movie version--which was not redeemable even with Zooey Deschanel as Trillian AND Alan Rickman as Marvin.  The cheesy 1980 BBC version, however, is epic!)
Twilight
First Knight
The Little Mermaid (Okay, I like the songs.  And Sebastian.  But Disney turned the self-sacrificing (and unnamed) Hans Christian Anderson protagonist into a selfish spoiled brat named Ariel)
Eragon
The Flight of Dragons (based off the book The Dragon and the George)

There are a lot of film adaptations of books that I really don't like, but there are probably a lot more that I do like.  The Princess Bride is my favorite film, and it's one of my favorite books.  I think one of the reasons I'm such a big fan of both the film and the book is that William Goldman wrote both of them (the book and the screenplay).  Not every detail was the same.  There were lots of omissions and changes in the film version, but the film was a hilarious and touching story that paid true homage to the book.

Some of the film adaptations I like are very different from the books, but they're still enjoyable AND they retain the basic thematic essences of the books.  Pollyanna is one of these.  Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (in case you're confused, I mean the Gene Wilder one) is another.  I do like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the Johnny Depp version), and it IS closer to the book than the Gene Wilder version "Willy Wonka," but I don't like it as much.  The Neverending Story is another film I love that doesn't follow the book very well, and it makes me sad that they tried to make it more like the book by making an absolutely horrendous sequel.  And another sequel--which thankfully, I have not seen.

Here's a list of film adaptations I really like:

Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park: The Lost World
October Sky (based on a memior originally published as Rocket Boys--it's an anagram)
All of the Harry Potter films except for Prisoner of Azkaban (I just can't forgive it)
Ramona and Beezus  (I would love to see more Ramona movies!)
The Hobbit (the Rankin Bass cartoon version, since the live action one hasn't come out yet)
The Return of the King (again, the Rankin Bass version)
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (the Peter Jackson ones)
The Bridge to Terebithia (both the 80s version and the more recent version of this)
Winnie the Pooh (even after Disney mutilated A. A. Milne, I still like it)
The Phantom Tollbooth
2001: A Space Odyssey (the book was written at the same time as the film, but I think it still counts)
The BBC versions of The Chronicles of Narnia (they only did up to the Silver Chair...which makes me sad)
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
A Christmas Carol (while almost any version--including Mickey's Christmas Carol and Scrooged--is likable, my favorite version is the Patrick Stewart one)
10 Things I Hate About You (based on Taming of the Shrew.  True story.)
Alice in Wonderland (again, pretty much any version of this would do--including the Johnny Depp version which was very unlike the original Lewis Caroll story.  I like what they did with it)
Anne of Green Gables/Anne of Avonlea
Hook (which was based off Peter Pan, which was a book)
Matilda
Holes
The Little Prince
The Secret of NIMH (Based on the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH--they changed a lot, but the movie was still amazing!)
The Face on the Milk Carton (made for tv and really cheesy, but it's not too bad)
The Jungle Book


I'm sure I could name more, but...that would take longer than I want to spend on typing a blog. 

There are rare occurrences when I actually prefer the film version of a story to the book.  The Wizard of Oz is one of these.  Perhaps if I had read the book before seeing the Judy Garland/Ray Bolger rainbow-riffic classic movie from 1939 (the same year my daddy was born--which makes me extra sentimental about it), I might feel differently.  But I tried to read the book as a grown up.  I found it dreadful and unimaginative.  I get that it was a political commentary and all that, but that didn't increase my enjoyment of it.  I much preferred the musical film version. 

Another musical movie I preferred to the book was Phantom of the Opera.  The book wasn't the worst thing I've ever read, but it couldn't compete with the haunting genius of Andrew Lloyd Weber. 

I also preferred the happy ending Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame to Victor Hugo's classic where everybody dies (hopefully didn't ruin that for you).  The incredible songs, again, didn't hurt either. 

I have to admit I also liked the 90's version of The Three Musketeers way better than the book.  Rebecca De Mornay.  Keifer Sutherland.  Chris O'Donnell.  Tim Curry.  Oliver Platt.  Oh, and Charlie Sheen LONG BEFORE he went crazy.  Ah, what a great flick!  I had a cassette tape of the song "All For Love." Yep.  I was awesome.

Right now I'm anxiously awaiting a couple of film adaptations.  I've read that they're probably going to do "Magician's Nephew" (Chronicles of Narnia) before "Silver Chair" (and that "MN" isn't coming out until 2014).  So I'm not holding my breath for those.  I wouldn't be surprised if they got dumped.  Which is sad.  But after seeing what they did with "Dawn Treader," I'm not sure I want them messing with Puddleglum.

But I'm getting a little excited (along with a lot of people) about The Hunger Games, which is set to come out in March of next year.  I'm thinking that The Hunger Games is the new Harry Potter, at least in terms of waiting for the next movie to come out.  Oh...and I'm waiting for the final HP movie, too...but it will be here VERY soon! 

Other books I'd love to see made into good major motion pictures are:

A Wrinkle in Time and the other books in the Time Quartet (as I said before)
A Ring of Endless Light and the other Austin Family books by Madeleine L'Engle (actually starting with Meet the Austins)
The Chronicles of Prydain (The Black Cauldron was based on the first two books, but it fell sadly, sadly short.  I would love to see the whole series done in epic live action LOTR style.)
The Bunnicula Series
The Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis

Again, there are probably others, but this blog is long enough. 

How about you?  Are there film adaptations you LOVE?  Are there film adaptations you HATE?  Are there movies you like better than the books?  Are there any books/series you would LOVE to see made into movies?

Still

I'm a wretched poet (my lyrical Dragon-Muse, Dravaena, has her work cut out for her). Usually, when I write poems, they're in the forms of song lyrics. I'm just not creative to make anything sound good unless it rhymes. Even then, it usually doesn't sound good. And even if it does...years could go by before I come up with some decent music (you know, using the 10 or so guitar chords I know) to put to the words.

But sometimes some lyrics find me, and I know that these lyrics are going to have to have music to them someday. This happened to me yesterday. I was writing a poem...but it wasn't quite right yet. I got really drowsy. I fell asleep. I had a vision.

An actual vision.

It's not the first time it's happened to me. It's been the first time it's happened in a long while. It wasn't even anything clear, but something happened.

It wasn't words. It wasn't even images. It was just a knowledge--a knowledge that something's about to happen. I don't even know what it is, but I have a few ideas. The thing is, it doesn't matter what's going to happen. Now's the time to wait for whatever it is, and there's beauty in waiting. There's beauty in the expectation and anticipation. If I didn't have to wait and get excited about Christmas, it wouldn't be as wonderful when it finally came. Right now, God is calling me to wait expectantly for what He has for me.

And since I've only got a handful of readers anyway, I figured I might as well share the lyrics that came to me yesterday. Because when I woke up from that dream-vision, I was able to finish it.



Still

The Wind is still.
The sky is white with cloud,
But the sun breaks through.
Gold streams down from heaven.
Kissing the earth with dreams
That have already come true.

...but I still have a few dreams left to dream...

And I lift up my head
And I look towards the sun
And sparrows soar like eagles
And You watch every one.

My heart beats inside my chest
Rattling these world-weary bones,
And I long for the Wind to stir in me--
I yearn for it to rage and blow.
Yet my eyes are too weak to see,
And my heart is too frail to know.
Still I lift up my head.
The Wind is still.

And even in the smallest stirrings
I can't feel Wind on my face.
It doesn't scatter through my hair.
But the trees dance so gently
With anticipation and with joy,
For they know You're there.

...and You're the One who's leading...

And I lift up my head
And I feel for that breeze
And though I'm not moving,
I am dancing with the trees.

My heart pounds inside my chest
Rattling these world-weary bones.
And I long for the Wind to stir in me--
I yearn for it to rage and blow.
Yet my eyes are too weak to see,
And my heart is too frail to know.
Still I lift up my head.

All creation is silent
In the calm before the storm.
All creation is expectant
To see what lies in store.
And I know You're going to move in me
Stronger than ever before
Though the Wind is still.

The Wind is still.

I lift up my head.
I lift up my eyes.
I wait for You.
The Wind is still.

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!

I just wanted my readers to be aware of my other blogs. You can click on the links above (below the header with my ginormous face), or you can click them right here:

www.sociallyawkwardadventures.blogspot.com (Funny/Embarrassing/Odd moments from my socially awkward life)

www.pneumanthedragon.blogspot.com (Written by my amazing Dragon Muses)

You might also want to check out the RightTime KiDS blog, for which I frequently write:

www.righttimekids.com/blog


Give those links a clickety click. You'll be glad you did!

What I Liked and Didn't Like About "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" (the film)

I had been waiting for Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader to come out, oh, since Prince Caspian was in theaters. This was my MUST SEE movie of 2010, and it didn't even come until the end of the year. I saw it on opening night (not the midnight showing--I'm too old for that nonsense) after rereading the book. It's my favorite book from the Narnia series.

I knew when I reread the book that I was setting myself up for some disappointment. I mean, I knew they were going to change stuff. They ALWAYS change stuff. I just happen to find it interesting to see how people translate books onto the big screen. Sometimes they do an excellent job (think Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) and sometimes they really screw it up and I get angry and want to start petitioning filmmakers for a do-over (think Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban).

Don't read any more if you haven't seen VotDT, because there will be some spoilers.

I was very impressed with the special effects (even in 3-D, which was, as I suspected, completely unnecessary). The Dragon and the sea serpent were UH-MAY-ZING. The music was also excellent, as was the majority of the acting. I'm a big fan of Skandar (is that NOT the coolest name ever?) and Georgie--and the guy who played Eustace was hilarious (I'm sure I'll learn that kid's name by the time Silver Chair comes to theaters). Now that the technical stuff is out of the way, on to the story...

I'm really glad they got in all the major plot points. They were ordered differently than they were in the book and some were handled differently, but they were all there. I'm also glad they included the most important line from the book--Aslan telling Lucy and Edmund that he had brought them to Narnia so that they would know who he was in their world and learn to know him by his name there (coughJESUScough). Most important part. I got really nervous when I thought the filmmakers had left that out, but they came through. Liam Neeson is pretty much the most amazing Aslan voice ever, btw.

Speaking of, there wasn't enough Aslan to suit me, but IMO there can NEVER be enough Aslan.

I was also disappointed that the Dufflepuds scene was so short, but then one can never have too many Dufflepuds. Well, okay, I suppose "DUFFLEPUDS: THE MOTION PICTURE" would be a little bit ridiculous.

Now, some people confuse me for one of those people who gets angry over every minor detail that was changed in movies that were adapted from books. Not so. What I think is important is that the movie version adequately captures the spirit and essence of the book in a way that is clearly communicated. The problem I had with Prisoner of Azkaban is that there were themes that were heavily emphasized in the movie that were not really in the book (time), and I was left with the impression that if someone had not read the book, they wouldn't know what was happening. That's crappy filmmaking, IMO.

The biggest problem I have with the film version of VotDT is that the filmmakers seemed to completely miss the point of the story. They added in a new element that basically drove the plot because apparently they seemed to think the story needed something that C. S. Lewis didn't provide. FAIL. If you haven't read the book, you might be surprised to learn that the seven swords were not in the book at all, nor was there this underlying evil that Lucy and Edmund had been summoned to go concur. They had been called to Narnia to have an adventure. That was the plot of the book. That was the story line. That was all that was needed.

And personally, I think that the story would have worked quite well on screen without their additions. The filmmakers seemed to think that they needed to add some kind of element that would make things more exciting or give purpose to the story. No. The purpose of the story was that there was something worth seeking beyond the known seas around Narnia. Yes, there were the seven lords that Caspian wanted to find, but he was not seeking them for any reason other to be seeking them. Caspian and Reepicheep and several of the others were ultimately seeking adventure, the End of the World, perhaps even Aslan's country--that was the point of the story--not some "green mist of evil" that had to be destroyed. I think the filmmakers really missed the point, and that makes me sad.

It makes me sad to think that filmmakers assume people don't want to see movies that are just about adventure and excitement and the mystery of the unknown. It makes me sad to think that they might actually be right.

But quite honestly, the whole "green mist of evil" thing was just stupid. It took me awhile to realize what it reminded me of, but once I realized it, I was amused. The "green mist of evil" was ripped off from another movie. Do you want to know which movie it was? Anastasia. Yep, the kid's cartoon from the late 1990s. I half expected Rasputin to come out with Bartok and burst out into an evil song and dance number.

No, instead you have the "green mist of evil" which (at least to Edmund) took the form of the "White Witch." Personally, I was really put off by this. For one thing, I was never really happy with Tilda Swinton's portrayal of the White Witch (I can't get past the fact that the lady has NO FREAKIN' EYELASHES), and I really hate seeing her have a cameo in all the movies she's not a part of. She died--let her stay dead. On a more serious note, I also want her to stay dead. Aslan killed her. It was finished. All that she represented was defeated. I didn't like that the filmmakers keep bringing her back as if Aslan isn't strong enough to have defeated her once and for all.

But I was fortunate enough to be watching this film with a friend who had not read the book. She saw this part differently and gave me her perspective, which I had already been thinking about myself, and kinda sorta agree with to an extent. Edmund--at least in the films--keeps meeting the White Witch again. In the film of VotDT, he was still struggling with temptation regarding her. Okay, I can get that. I can relate to that. Even if sin has been conquered once and for all, I still struggle with temptation and sin. I'm going to struggle with temptation and sin until I die or this world ends. So I can kinda understand where they might have been going with that.

Now, Lucy's little temptation scenes bothered me a little more. It was good theology, but it was simple theology. I can totally get that we are all valuable--we aren't meant to be like anyone else (except Christ), and God didn't create us to be like anyone else. He made one me. He made one you. So yeah, there was nothing untruthful about what Aslan said to Lucy in the mirror (aside from the fact that this scene was NOT in the book). He wanted her to value herself. Okay. Sure. It's just that right now there's this theme I see in Christian circles about feeling good about yourself and feeling beautiful, blah blah blah. Johnny Diaz theology is awesome for awkward teenage girls. It's just a little milky for me. And Lucy in the book wanted to be beautiful and get attention like Susan (she didn't want to BE Susan, fyi), but she didn't sit and dwell on it for very long. Aslan drove that vanity from her head with one roar and she was tempted by something else. Anyway, I would have preferred Aslan's lines to be closer to what was in the book, but as I already said, they got the most important line.

I'm just really annoyed they left out another important group of lines:

Aslan: "Do not look so sad. We shall meet soon again."
Lucy: "Please, Aslan, what do you call soon?"
Aslan: "I call all times soon."

Mmm.

Now, I was pleased with the way they made Eustace the Dragon look/act/etc. That was awesome. I was a little confused with what they did with him because it was VERY different from the book. With that being said, given all the rest of the changes they made to the story, I actually LIKE what they did with the Dragon. I liked that they kept him in the film longer as a Dragon and I liked that they had Eustace be the one to put the sword on the table and save everyone (though the glowing blue swords seemed to be a ripoff from the Hobbit...oh well, Tolkien and Lewis will probably have a good laugh about that if there are Inklings meetings in heaven--and I'm kinda hoping there will be and that I'll get to sit in on them). I liked that the epic battle with the sea serpent took place on the dark island (even though it took place much earlier in the book). Given all the other changes they had made to the story, the rest of it just made sense. I would have preferred they had left the story alone as much as possible, but given the changes they'd made, they actually managed to create a decent storyline with Eustace as a Dragon who gained redemption by placing the final sword. Also, I'm VERY happy they worked hard to foster an onscreen friendship between Eustace and Reepicheep. Reepicheep is awesome.

What does kind of bother me is how they handled Eustace's transformation from Dragon back into a human. Now, I do like that Aslan just scratched the sand and those scratches were what cut into Eustace. BUT, here's what bothered me. How he just burst into light and fire during his transformation reminded me of another film...another kid's movie...another cartoon from the 90's. Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, baby.

SIGH.

All in all, I'm displeased that the filmmakers seemed to miss the point of the story, but they did some interesting things with the changes that I did like. I will want to see this movie again, mainly because I'm not sure how much I liked it--but I think I did. I shed some tears (oh, Reepicheep). It left me wanting a sequel (I WANT PUDDLEGLUM!!!). I am a little afraid with what they'll do with "Silver Chair," but we'll see.

I Delcare Today Insanidence Day!

Something miraculous happened to me on Friday. I only worked four hours. I had the rest of the blessed day to do whatever I wanted. So what did I do? I went grocery shopping. I took a nap. I (mostly) finished (hopefully for the last time) editing my first book (again). Did that last sentence make sense? Don't know. Don't care.

So then I got to thinking how remarkable it was that I had a WHOLE HALF DAY off to do absolutely anything I wanted to with, even though I'd filled it with various activities (that nap was strenuous, I'm telling you). I mean, this HALF DAY off meant that I wouldn't have ANY right to complain about how busy I am. Those days when I'm working my ten-twelve hours, sometimes at THREE different jobs in one day, only to come home and try to write for an hour or two before falling asleep drooling on the keyboard--pssh! I can't complain about THOSE days anymore, because I had a WHOLE HALF DAY OFF on some random Friday on some random week in October of 2010.

Yes, so the point I'm trying to convey is that I'm pretty dang busy. I'm not a parent, so I'm not as busy as some, but still. I mean, what? Two jobs? No, no. Please. I'm not stressed out enough. Please give me a third job. And let me attempt to write and edit books while working those three jobs, because please, I don't have enough to do.

Unfortunately for me, I am insane.

Example:

Last night the children's director at my church (and also one of my bosses) left a message asking me if I'd sub for preschool Sunday School for this morning. My roommate looked at me and said, "You've been way too busy lately. You've got something tonight and won't get home till late. You're not going to want teach 3 year olds tomorrow. Just tell her no." I said, "You're right. I'm calling her now. I'm going to tell her no."

Here's how the conversation went:

"Hello, A. This is Ruth. I got your message about needing a sub for Sunday School?"
"Hello, Ruth! Can you help us out?"
"SURE, A.! I'd LOVE to help out. I can sub during the early service, no problem."

At this time, my roommate turns to look at me with the LOOK OF DEATH.

I say goodbye to A. and hang up. I ask my roommate to stop giving me the LOOK OF DEATH.

She says, "My look isn't going to be what kills you, you're going to kill yourself with all this stuff you keep doing."


Maybe. Killed by insanity? I'm sure there are worse ways to go. Dying of boredom, for example. But I digress...


My busyness and insanity aren't really the point of this blog entry. I'm rather, writing to inform my readers (you know, all three of them) that I am probably not going to be blogging much for the remainder of October.

I had a goal, and it was a worthy goal, of having a rough draft my fourth book (which is the sequel to my first book, which is completely unrelated to my 2nd and 3rd books, excepting that all of them are about Dragons, if you can follow any of that) completed by the end of 2010. The thing is, I'm a procrastinator. You give me a deadline, and I'll stretch it out for all it's worth. And the result is, I haven't really been working on that book at all.

Now that I've completed the edit (Oh, dear Lord, let it PLEASE be the last edit) of my first book, it's fresh in my mind. I can write that sequel.

And I've decided to move up my deadline. Why? BECAUSE I AM INSANE. THAT'S WHY. I am going to attempt to write this book (of which I've only completed one solid chapter) in what remains of October. You know, I figure I didn't have enough to do, so I thought I'd just attempt to write the VAST MAJORITY a 75,000ish word novel in three weeks. It's kind of my way of saying "HA HA I'M BETTER THAN YOU--IN YOUR FACE" to most of those silly NaNoWriMo fools who think they're awesome because they can write 50,000 words of plotless drivel in a month. BTW, I can say this with so much confidence because about 5 months ago I was posessed by a fictional character and consequently wrote a rough draft of a 75,000 word novel in less than 2 weeks. And it is an awesome book, if I do say so myself. Let's just hope insanity, I mean, brilliance can strike again! If I don't meet my goal, it's no big deal. I am just going to attempt it because I happen to be a crazy person.

Yes, so I'm going to be a little busier than usual for the remainder of this month. I may find some time to blog, but don't count on them--I mean, it's not like any of my readers (all three of them) are sitting on the edge of their seats begging for more blogs or anything, but you know, now you know.

Happy 10-10-10. I will forever remember this day as the day I declared my insanity! Happy Insanidence Day! They should make a movie with Bill Pullman and Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum and Randy Quaid and Brent Spiner about it...only with Dragons instead of aliens.

OH MY GOSH that would be epic.