I got back from my trip to KY less than an hour ago. I'm tired. I have to unpack--or at least get what I need out of my suitcase in order to function tonight and tomorrow. I'm not the only one who does that, right? So anyway, here's a list of the highlights of my trip. I might go into more detail later, or I might get caught up in work and life and forget to blog again. Who knows?
-Got to watch the Cards win game six of the World Series. I listened to the game on the way up in my schmancy rental car, and I got home just in time (as I thought) to see the Cards lose. But they didn't lose. They came back and beat the Rangers in an exciting turn of events that can only be described as extremely well-played baseball. And I got to share that with my family!
-Got to see my extended family and celebrate the marriage of my grandfather, as well as welcome new people into my family. ...and I thought my family was big before. I loved my grandmother. She was one of the most loving people in my life. She taught me the importance of family; she taught me that there's always room for more people to love. And I miss my grandmother and think about how she and my grandfather were married for 60 years, but I can't be sad that my grandfather chose to remarry. The lady who is now his wife is beautiful and precious. She's not my grandmother and she doesn't have to be. She's who she is, and my grandfather loves her, and so do I.
-Got to see about six of my younger cousins who have recently had, are about to have, or are currently having birthdays. Three have turned seven, one is about to turn nine, one is about to turn twelve (I remember visiting the hospital when she was BORN...what happened?), and one is about to turn ONE. I love being part of a large extended family with lots of kids. They're all so wonderful. And I loved seeing their parents and grown up siblings, too. I even got to see one of my aunts who I rarely ever see, so that was an unexpected blessing.
-As the wedding reception died down, I saw that my dad was sitting on the couch watching the last game of the World Series. I sat with him a bit, then got up to be social, but I went back later when I realized it was the last inning. And I sat there with my daddy and watched the Cards win the 2011 World Series. I know this sounds weird, but that was worth the whole trip to me. I'm not a "daddy's girl," but I love my dad. He's the one that got me interested in baseball, in the St. Louis Cardinals. So sharing that moment was just special. That brief experience is something I'm going to remember always.
-My sister and her family couldn't make it to the wedding reception, and they live 4 hours away from my parents. So my wonderful mom offered to drive me up those 4 hours (and back) in one day so I could see my nieces and nephew (the birthday boy). It was a quick trip, but so worth it. The kids were so excited to see me, and I enjoyed spending a few hours with them and their awesome parents. I'll remember that always, too.
-I really remember very little from the drive up to KY (I drove about half of it in the dark and I just kind of went on auto-pilot), but today's drive down was beautiful. The sunshine was golden and the leaves were beautiful. Autumn is here. Change is coming.
And life is good.
I'm glad to be back, though it feels sort of surreal. I'm thankful I got to go. This very short trip will live in my memories for a long time.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, July 26, 2010
Great Expectations
I used to be annoyed by other people's expecations for me. There are times when I still am annoyed, but I can understand it all a little better now (I think). If someone doesn't expect anything of you or for you, it's a pretty reasonable assumption that the person doesn't care anything about you.
A wife expects her husband to love her, to help her with things around the house, to take care of the children, etc. Likewise, there are things a husband expects from his wife. There are things a parent expects from their children, and there are things a child can expect from a parent. In school, teachers are expected to teach, and students are expected to study and do their school work. Expectations are not necessarily bad things. Expectations, however, can be distorted when someone expects something of another person that isn't a reasonable expectation.
The annoyance I have of other people's expectations is that sometimes people expect things of me that aren't something I've ever really wanted. In the past, I often made decisions based on what I thought other people expected me to do. The first time I went to college, I only went because it was expected of me. I drifted for two years, then dropped out for two years. I went back when I was ready to go. When I finally graduated college, I had accomplished the task I wished to accomplish. I wanted to learn, and I did. Some of my teachers', friends' and family members' expectations for me were to get a degree I could actually put to use. I didn't go to college for a degree; I went for an education. Even though five years later I'm STILL paying off the student loans, I don't regret it at all.
Some people expected me to use my degree to become a teacher (shudder!) or something similar. Still others have expected me to get married and have kids (as if I had a lot of choice in that matter). Others have expected me to move up in management in my current job at a drop-in childcare center (after all, I've been working there over four years). Others have expected me to abandon this ridiculous goal of actually trying to make it as a writer. They'd rather I do something practical... but I'm just not practical.
The thing is, anyone who expects me to be something I'm not isn't really helping me. At the same time, I realize that people who have expectations of what I should do with my life are only trying to show that they care. It saddens me that some of them don't know me well enough to actually realize they're hurting more than they're helping, but I do appreciate the fact that they care about me and what I do with my life.
But I'm a free spirit. I would stink at teaching, and I know I would stink at management. And if I'm happier chasing kids around at work instead of sitting behind a desk trying to do administrative stuff, who's to judge me? As for the marriage and family, I'm not sure what God has in store for that, and I'd be just as thrilled with anyone else if it happened to me. I'm all right if it doesn't.
As for the writing, I can give it up as easily as I can give up breathing. I know it's nearly impossible for someone who's never been published to get published. But I've got a couple of encouragements: 1. Book stores and libraries are full of books that were written by impractical people who were once unpublished--people who kept trying to do the (nearly) impossible until they succeeded. 2. If God is for me, then who can be against me. I believe He's called me to write and try this getting published thing. So I've got to keep trying, regardless of my doubts or other people's expecations.
People are still going to have expectations, and that's all right. I'm still going to be me. The ones that know me best are going to be okay with that. The ones that don't know me...at least they care. Their caring means a great deal to me.
A wife expects her husband to love her, to help her with things around the house, to take care of the children, etc. Likewise, there are things a husband expects from his wife. There are things a parent expects from their children, and there are things a child can expect from a parent. In school, teachers are expected to teach, and students are expected to study and do their school work. Expectations are not necessarily bad things. Expectations, however, can be distorted when someone expects something of another person that isn't a reasonable expectation.
The annoyance I have of other people's expectations is that sometimes people expect things of me that aren't something I've ever really wanted. In the past, I often made decisions based on what I thought other people expected me to do. The first time I went to college, I only went because it was expected of me. I drifted for two years, then dropped out for two years. I went back when I was ready to go. When I finally graduated college, I had accomplished the task I wished to accomplish. I wanted to learn, and I did. Some of my teachers', friends' and family members' expectations for me were to get a degree I could actually put to use. I didn't go to college for a degree; I went for an education. Even though five years later I'm STILL paying off the student loans, I don't regret it at all.
Some people expected me to use my degree to become a teacher (shudder!) or something similar. Still others have expected me to get married and have kids (as if I had a lot of choice in that matter). Others have expected me to move up in management in my current job at a drop-in childcare center (after all, I've been working there over four years). Others have expected me to abandon this ridiculous goal of actually trying to make it as a writer. They'd rather I do something practical... but I'm just not practical.
The thing is, anyone who expects me to be something I'm not isn't really helping me. At the same time, I realize that people who have expectations of what I should do with my life are only trying to show that they care. It saddens me that some of them don't know me well enough to actually realize they're hurting more than they're helping, but I do appreciate the fact that they care about me and what I do with my life.
But I'm a free spirit. I would stink at teaching, and I know I would stink at management. And if I'm happier chasing kids around at work instead of sitting behind a desk trying to do administrative stuff, who's to judge me? As for the marriage and family, I'm not sure what God has in store for that, and I'd be just as thrilled with anyone else if it happened to me. I'm all right if it doesn't.
As for the writing, I can give it up as easily as I can give up breathing. I know it's nearly impossible for someone who's never been published to get published. But I've got a couple of encouragements: 1. Book stores and libraries are full of books that were written by impractical people who were once unpublished--people who kept trying to do the (nearly) impossible until they succeeded. 2. If God is for me, then who can be against me. I believe He's called me to write and try this getting published thing. So I've got to keep trying, regardless of my doubts or other people's expecations.
People are still going to have expectations, and that's all right. I'm still going to be me. The ones that know me best are going to be okay with that. The ones that don't know me...at least they care. Their caring means a great deal to me.
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