Single Question?

I haven't been blogging about it as much here, but just because I haven't been blogging about it doesn't mean I'm not thinking/talking about it.

A few weeks ago I started writing a little about a blog project I'd like to start.  I still haven't started it, but I've talked to a few people, and I'm hoping to talk to a few more.  I'd like to see this project start fairly soon--at least by the end of the year, but hopefully much sooner.

My original idea for a name for this blog/project/experiment/whatever was "Singled In," but I got to looking around the interwebz and realized that "Singled In" wasn't really that original after all.  I'm still thinking of possible names for this, but the name I keep coming back to is "Single Question."

I'm pretty sure this name is lame, but I can't think of anything better.  And it's descriptive of my project for two reasons:  1) What I want to do with this blog is ask questions about singlehood, marriage, God, unity, the Church, parenting, etc.  As a single person, I'd like to see how other people (married, single, divorced, widowed, etc.) would answer these questions.  2) Most of my blogs would consist of a single question.

I haven't yet gotten the response I've hoped for regarding this blog idea, and I'm guessing there are several reasons for that.  People just haven't heard about it.  People aren't sure what to say in response to it.  People are waiting until I follow through with it until they decide whether they want to get on board or not. 

Another reason I've considered is that perhaps people just aren't sure exactly WHAT I'm doing or WHY I'm doing it.  I will hope to answer this question in the first few blogs when I get that up and running, but here's a brief answer to those questions.  Since I hope to ask a lot of questions of others, it is only right that I start by answering a few questions.

A few years ago, someone asked me about the singles ministry at my church.  And well, we don't really have one.  But my friend's question made me start thinking about the purpose of singles ministries, about whether or not some churches seem to create invisible (and, in my opinion and experience, unnecessary) barriers between married people/families and single adults.  Over the past couple of years, I've even toyed with writing a book on the subject.  But I soon realized that all I have is my own experiences, and that's not enough to write a book.  Eventually, God led me to the idea of this blog project, and I really think it's time to get started on it.

So what is this blog idea?

I have hopes that "Single Question" or whatever I end up calling it (suggestions welcome, please!) will be a place where I can ask questions about singlehood, marriage, parenthood, divorce, single parenting, widowhood, Church unity, etc., in the hopes that people from many different backgrounds will respond with their thoughts, experiences, and even other questions.  I will also (perhaps once a week) blog about some of my own thoughts and experiences as a single adult in the church, including some of the more humorous aspects of singlehood. 

Why do I want to start this blog?

This is a question I have asked myself more than once, and it's a very important question.  There isn't just one purpose of this blog, and yet there is.  Some of the reasons I have for wanting to do this include the desire to accumulate information (through asking questions and hopefully getting a variety of answers from a variety of sources), the desire to help others understand a different point of view than their own, the desire to share my own thoughts and experiences, the desire to help foster unity among people from different marital, etc. backgrounds, and the desire to help single people see areas where they can serve in the church.  The main purpose in all of this, however, is to glorify God.  I truly believe this is a vision the Lord has given to me, and I believe He's going to complete it through me.  I just have to have faith as it gets started up and keep an open mind as He takes it where He wants to take it.

What it is NOT: "Single Question" (or whatever I call it) is NOT a blog that will include rants about the assumed unfairness of being single in today's society/church (I might include humorous and even sarcastic bits about misunderstandings that some married people have expressed towards single adults, but I hope these will be used sparingly--and will be taken lightly and not seriously).  It will NOT include pointless dating or relationship advice (though sometimes a particular question might come up that will involve meaningful conversation about dating/marital relationships). It will (hopefully) NOT include bashing of ideas that I don't personally understand (such as organized singles ministries)--in fact, part of the reason I want to ask questions is so that I might gain understanding.

And one more question: Who is this blog for? Answer: Everyone.  Answer: You.  I hope you'll consider reading it, once it gets up and running.  If it's going to work, it will have to be a group effort.

If you have any questions, leave a comment here, on Twitter, or on facebook.  Please please please be in prayer for this!  Let me know your thoughts, and spread the word!  (If you scroll near the top of this page and look at the left side bar, you'll see "Like it? Share it!" which allows you to easily share this blog with others on facebook and/or Twitter.  It's that easy.)

And seriously, if you have any comments/suggestions about a name for this project (or if you actually like the name I've been considering), I'd be happy to hear them. 

THANK YOU!

5 Questions Writers Hate

Okay, so that isn't a fair title at all. Every writer is different, so really, I should have titled this blog "5 Questions I Hate." But such a title could refer to just about any aspect of my life (even though I'm trying to limit this blog to things that only have to do with writing, even if only in a vague and general way). And no one would want to read "5 Questions About Giraffes I Hate." I suppose I could have entitled it "5 Questions About Writing I Hate," but then you could have assumed I meant I had 5 questions about writing that I hate, which isn't what I meant. I do have 5 questions about giraffes that I hate (curse you, giraffes!), but since I am trying to limit this blog to things that only have to do with writing, even if only in a vague and general way, I'll save those questions for another time and place.

Here are 5 questions that I, as a writer, hate:

Question 1: What kind of books do you write?

This one might not bother a lot of writers, but it bothers me. I think the reason it might not bother a lot of writers is because there are a lot of writers who stick to one or two genres in their writing. Now, at the moment, I've only written three books, and I'm trying to begin actively working on a fourth soon. Of these four books, two could be categorized as YA fantasy, and two could be categorized as science fiction. One might assume from the given information that the kind of books I write are fantasy and science fiction. The problem with this is, I feel like I've only begun to write! I don't want to limit myself to just one or two genres. I want to write a variety of things.

My two favorite writers, C.S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle, didn't just write in one or two different styles or genres. Lewis wrote fantasy, science fiction, nonfiction, autobiography, allegory...he was a writer. What kind of books did C.S. Lewis write? The answer is yes. The same can be said for L'Engle. Most of what she wrote was YA, but she also wrote some adult fiction and nonfiction. She wrote fantasy and scifi, but she also had some VERY down to earth books. She even wrote some children's books. She didn't limit herself to one genre or style because she was a writer--she just wrote whatever came to her.

I'd like to think I'm that kind of a writer, too. Only time will tell. I hope to one day be able to answer the question "What kind of books do you write?" with "YES."

Question 2: What is your book about?

I hate this question for a couple of reasons. One, it puts me on the spot. How would you like it if someone came up to you and said, "So, tell me about your entire life?" You have to think of where to begin, add in all the important details, and then find a good place to conclude without giving too much information. The second reason I really hate this question is because most people don't really understand what they're asking. Do you really want me to stand here and tell you what my book is about in 20 words or less? Because if you REALLY want to know what my book is about, then you'd better be prepared for more than 20 words. I doubt anyone is going to really want to listen to me give them a good summary of my book. I mean, if you REALLY want to know what my book is about, then you might as well just read the book--when it's published (this will lead me to another hated question momentarily).

I have a standard answer I give for when people ask me this question. "What's your book about?" "Oh, it's a YA fantasy about Dragons and stuff." The only people who get more detailed answers are people who seem GENUINELY interested and people I'm trying to sell my book to--because, hey, they really need to know.

Question 3: Can I read your book before it's published?

*FACEPALM* People don't think before they ask this question. I mean, seriously, what better way to tell your writer friend, "I want to read your book because I don't have enough faith in your work that you'll ever manage to get it published...or at the very least, I'm not willing to wait that long."

I know, I know. This is NOT what people are trying to communicate. They're trying to communicate that they have an interest in my work and are really eager to read it. But it comes across completely differently. If someone is interested in my work, I'd much prefer they wait until it's ready to be seen by the world instead of hoping to catch a glimpse of it in it's raw stages.

With that being said, it is CRUCIAL for a writer to find friends/fellow writers/people they trust to read their work. It's just not at all wise to let EVERYBODY read it. It's not a bad thing for someone to offer their help in editing, but I think it's better to let a writer approach you if they're interested in letting you read it. I've been blessed with several good friends who have given me awesome feedback on my first book. It would not be the book it is today without their help. But at the same time, I chose these people b/c I trusted them and knew they would help me more than harm me. It's not a good idea to let too many people see my work before it's ready. So yeah...don't ask me to let you read it before it's ready to be read. When it's published, that's a pretty good indication that it's ready.

Question 4: Why haven't you found a literary agent/publisher/editor yet?

This question arises out of ignorance. I realize this. For some reason, there are people who assume that finding someone to represent my writing is a very simple task. I have had people ask me after only one week of trying to find an agent why I hadn't managed to find one yet. I'm like, "Are you serious?" The sad thing was, they WERE serious.

I don't like the implication that the reason I'm not published is because I'm not working towards that. Sometimes, I could work harder than I am, but most of the time, I'm just waiting. I'm impatient in this process, but not as much as other people seem to be. It's discouraging sometimes.

Some very good writers have had to wait a long time before becoming very good published writers. I hope that's the case with me.

Question 5: Do you really think writing is a useful endeavor?

Oh, if I could only explain to practical people how creative God is. I guess practical people are as much of an enigma to me as I am to them. I can see the logic in the idea that you "can't eat a work of art," but is that the only measure of something's worth--practicality?

A very close friend of mine once said, "The Bible is the only book we really need." I guess that's true, but I didn't like the implication that we shouldn't HAVE any other books. I like something that a Christian musician, Mitch McVicker, said at one of his concerts I attended: (VERY paraphrased) The world doesn't need more Christian music or Christian musicians. But the world will always need truth, and I'm trying to be faithful to what He's given me to do.

God gave me the ability to write. God gave me the desire to write. God has given me dreams and visions and stories to write.

Why do I write? I don't like that question unless I'm answering someone to whom I'm trying to sell my writing.

A much better question is, "Why wouldn't I write?" I love it. I'm GOOD at it. It's what God has given me to do, so I write. I don't even know all that He has planned for it and through it, but you know, that doesn't matter. I'm just trying to be faithful. He'll fill in the rest of the details.

Maybe it's just that God wants to use this impractical person to shame the practical. I'm cool with that.


I may have more "questions I as a writer hate" later, but for now, I'm going to go find some giraffes I hate and ask them some questions, like, "Why are your spots so brown, dumb giraffe? Why is your neck so ridiculously long? Why doesn't anyone know what sound a giraffe makes, you freakish freak of nature?"

*I don't really hate giraffes. Okay, just some of them.