SEW Sunday: Boot Camp

(SEW Sundays are where I rant about discuss what's going on with the queries I am SENDING to agents, my EDITING, and my WRITING.)

Okay, so here's the thing.  I don't have much of anything going on.  I keep saying I'm going to do stuff, but the week goes by and I haven't done much.  I do have excuses as usual--such as the fact that I was insanely busy working my last week of working preschool, only to jump into house/dog/cat sitting and working my other two jobs.

And since I'm house/dog/cat sitting, I have access to more than seven channels on tv, so I've logged a few hours watching reruns of House and watching dumb movies.  I even caught an episode of "Saved By the Bell: The College Years" which is arguably the worst show ever made.  Okay, so I'm pretty sure that award actually goes to "Yo Gabba Gabba."  ...or "The Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills" (I promise that's a real show--it's too horrible to be something I just made up).

So yeah.  I'm a loser who has nothing to show for herself this week.

OH WAIT!  I did write two songs.  Complete with music.  Yay me (not really)!  One of them I think is probably the best song I've ever written--but by next week I'll probably find something I hate about it.  I mean, that's usually how it goes.

Also, with this week being so weird and stuff, I've let my diet/exercise slip completely.  I had a minor injury to my back on Monday (leaning over to pick up a toy...I'm like an old person), so exercise has been out.  And I wanted to eat pasta and cake and ice cream...and pretty much everything else in sight.  So I did.  And my pants are very snug now...

Boot camp starts tomorrow...theoretically.  Boot camp will hopefully include a return to a regular exercise routine with lots of sweaty running (I'm SO excited the weather forecast is calling for temps in the mid 90's...ugh).  It will also hopefully include a return to a strict 1200 calories per day diet.  It will hopefully also include some actual DISCIPLINE in my writing life.  I have got to send out some queries.  I mean, it's kind of hard to find a literary agent if you're not sending them anything to let them know you exist.  I also need to get some guts and make some progress with this song project--at least I think I do.  If I keep writing new songs like this, I might need to make plans for TWO upcoming cds....

Hmm...either way, I will eventually need some guts.  Do they sell those at Wal-mart?

So pray for me as I try to get my act together.  The Ruth version of boot camp is not like real boot camp (my version includes LOTS more procrastination, whining, and general lameness), but I'm still pretty sure I'm not going to like it a whole lot.

SEW Sunday: Profit

In my Bible reading, I've been going through Proverbs for the past few days.  I read Proverbs 14 last night.  Honestly, some of the Proverbs seem pointless, like Proverbs 14:5 "A trustworthy witness will not lie, but a false witness utters lies."  Um...not to be rude, Solomon...but doesn't that kind of, um...go without saying?

Then there are Proverbs that really make me think, like Proverbs 14:23 "In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."

I have worked A LOT this week.  Every day, Monday through Saturday, I worked at LEAST two jobs.  I've worked more than 50 hours, not counting the time it took me to drive from one job to the other.  I've also had to take my car to two different places and spent a LOT of money trying to get it fixed up--and it's still not all done.

Sometimes I just really feel like I'm working ALL the time, and just when I start to get ahead (or even just caught up with things) financially, I have to put money into something else.  The other day I was sitting in the tire shop while they put two new tires on my car that will probably wear out within a year because I'm too broke to afford the repair my car needs to ensure my wheels are in proper alignment.  And I was texting my mom.  I texted her something like, "I'm always working.  I'm always broke.  I NEED TO SELL MY NOVEL."

And I'm smart enough to know that's probably not going to solve all my problems...because writers, even published ones, are often pretty broke.  If I sold my book, I probably couldn't quit any of my day jobs...but then I do keep hoping I strike gold like J. K. Rowling...if only.

But that's not the main issue here.

I have been doing a lot of talking.  There are definitely a lot of things I still need to do before sending any queries.  Have I done them?  No.  I've just talked about doing them. 

Now, I've got a butt load of excuses, and I think them reasonable.  After the week I just had, I know there is no way I could have squeezed in any writing activities.  In fact I haven't written down a single word of a story since LAST Sunday afternoon.  I'm a writer who hasn't written anything on a project in a week.  I have simply not had the time.  And that sucks, but that's the way it goes some weeks.

This upcoming week doesn't look too promising, either.  I'm working two jobs Monday, two jobs Tuesday, two jobs Wednesday, and on Thursday I'm definitely working one job and I'm on call for another.  If I don't get called in to that other job, I'm going to leave town on Thursday to go visit family in KY (if I end up working Thursday night, I plan to leave Friday morning).  And I'll be gone all weekend.  My bro is graduating college.  My dad and oldest niece both have birthdays.  There's a possibility I'll have to work on a song to sing at my parent's church.  Do you think I'm going to have time for writing?  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
No.

So basically, my current project is on a standstill until I have time to do something with it.  I don't have time to work on stuff for queries.  Editing is out of the question.  Reading for fun/inspiration is the furthest thing from my mind.

And it's easy to get discouraged in the midst of a busy schedule.  It's easy to say, "Well, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a writer, so I'm a failure."  And I do have to say that I'm convicted by Proverbs 14:23.  I do a lot of talking about my writing, but how much am I doing with my writing?

But that verse doesn't say "...in only the HARDEST work there is profit."  It says, "In ALL work there is profit."  I'm doing what I can do with my writing at the moment, and trusting there will be more time for it later.  The question then is, "What WILL I do with it when I have the time?"  Will I do the work I need to do, or will I just continue to talk about it?

In the meantime, I'm not doing a lot of writing.  I'm doing a lot of working with kids.  I gotta say, sometimes, I'd rather be writing.  Right now, though, I have to trust that the work I am doing is going to lead to some kind of profit...hopefully monetary, so I can keep paying my bills, but it's more than that. 

The Lord has been teaching me a lot lately about different things.  He's teaching me how to praise Him in every circumstance, and how WE NEED to praise Him.  God desires our praise, but He also wants us to praise Him because we need to praise Him.  That's what we were designed to do--and I've noticed that when I'm praising Him, I just function better in general.  And so this stressful week has been really unexpectedly good.  I've worked my butt off (not quite literally, though I may have lost a little weight in that general area) this week.  I've had emotional ups and downs.  I've gotten some really nice paychecks that had to be put right back into expenses for my car.  I've taken opportunities to offer help to others, and I've had to be humble and ask for help for myself.  I've seen friends I haven't seen in months and even years.  I've talked a lot about what God has done and about what He is doing and what He will do.  I've failed.  I've succeeded.  I've ran and breathed and rested and hoped and prayed and dreamed and rejoiced and cried and worked and sang and LIVED. 

And I've realized again how much I really love my crazy, wild, wonderful life.

After all I've done against God, I don't deserve for the Lord to love me enough to test me and shape me.  But He does.  And He will continue to do so.  And I know in His timing that my life and my writing are going to become what He wants them to be.  I just have to wait for it and keep working and praying and resting in Him.  Talking is fine, but all work leads to profit...and I believe that to be both monetary and Spiritual profit. 

So I pray I work and worship and live this life He's given me.  If I'm doing the things I know I'm supposed to be doing, I don't believe He's going to lead me astray.

Projects

I haven't forgotten that I want this blog to be much more than a listing of what's going on in my writing, but it has occurred to me that I really haven't talked about my projects in any detail.

Now, the reason for this is because I'm extremely wary of posting stuff online. I've know some agents don't want you to put sample chapters online (and honestly, I don't want to do that unless it's password protected). I don't want to ruin my chances with an agent because a bunch of people floating out in internet land have already read my stuff. I also have read that it's dangerous to post chapters or even specific ideas online because people can steal ideas. It's sad, but true.

Therefore, I've been cautious, and will continue to do so. BUT, I think I should at least give my readers a somewhat less vague idea of what I'm working on and what I want to do with it all. I will NOT use titles, because 1) Until an agent/publisher gives me the okay on a title, I doubt that will be its official title. 2) I don't want anyone stealin' my titles, either...even if my titles stink. It's just a risk...and I'm super cautious.

So anyway...

The first manuscript I completed, which I often refer to as "Book One" is a young adult fantasy about Dragons and stuff. Okay, so more specific. Yes. It's about a 16 yr old girl who has to readjust to a whole new way of life. She is guided by others, but some of them betray her. The remaining faithful guide urges her to run away. He provides a bodyguard for her, but this bodyguard happens to be one of her former friends--one who hurt her deeply. They travel into the forest and befriend a goblin. The guy and girl reconcile--maybe even fall in love, who knows ;). All the while, the girl is being hunted by a Dragon--the only way she can figure out her destiny is to face this Dragon.

"Book One" is the project for which I'm currently seeking representation. I'm a lookin for an agent. I'm starting to think the market might not be quite right for this book at the moment, and considering it's my first book, it might not be really all that great anyway. My friends have all said they like it. My mom loves it. I just don't think that's really gonna cut it in today's market. I'm still going to TRY to find an agent, but I'm considering getting it small-time published...if the querying keeps coming up short.

I AM planning on getting a collection of original fairy tales small-time published sometime very soon. It was originally going to be a collection of original fairy tales, retellings of classic fairy tales, and parodies, but I'm leaning more towards the original stuff, now. I've sent some samples off to the guy so he can tell me what he thinks. He's busy, so I'm expecting to hear back from him by like...March...of next year...maybe. Lol. Nah, I'm not in a hurry. I just need to keep working on more fairy tales in the meantime. It's taking a lot of time and imagination and writing and editing. Fun stuff! I'm excited about it.

The second book I've completed (which I often refer to as "Book Two"...don't you love my creative titling?) can only be described as Christian Sci Fi. It's also a romance. In fact, it might be primarily a romance, but since it happens in the distant future and mostly in outer space, I call it Sci Fi. Now, "Book One" has some Christian imagery, but I really toned it down because I'm still just not sure I want to be a Christian writer. In "Book Two" there are BLATANT Christian elements that I just can't see removing unless I rip the story apart...and I don't want to do that. There are lots of references to the Bible, directly and indirectly. It is what it is, though it still needs a LOT of editing apart from that. I don't want to go into too much detail about this book (even though lots of people have already read it because I originally wrote it as a serial novel and posted it in protected notes on facebook...and no, I'm not going to let anyone else read it as it is--it needs editing), but I will say one thing more: It also has Dragons.

"Book Three"--the third book I've completed, is a companion to "Book Two." I did not plan to write a sequel or anything like it. It's not really a sequel. It's taking one character from "Book Two" and expounding on her life, thoughts, and circumstances. While writing "Book Two," this completely minor character started speaking to me. She started talking in my head. She wouldn't shut up. And yes, writers are crazy people. Anyway, she went from being a minor character in "Book Two" to a MAJOR character in "Book Two" to getting her own book, told in first person, which is now "Book Three." I wrote "Book Three" in less than two weeks because this character completely took over my life. She possessed me. And wow, she's so much more amazing than I originally thought. I remember talking to her, saying, "Gee, R***, I don't know how to write a book about you." She said, "Just write it. I won't leave you alone until you do." I said, "But I don't know your story." She said, "Just start writing, and I'll tell it to you." And then she did. And her story is amazing. I can't believe I didn't think she was important at first. ...not that I'm ready to do anything with this book yet, I still should say that it needs a lot of editing.

I had originally called this "Book Four," but I never finished it, so now I'm going to call it "Unfinished One". "Unfinished One" is a sequel to "Book One." I've had it envisioned for about five years (I envision three books to follow "Book One" and also a companion book...or two. As long as I'm alive and in my right mind, these books WILL get written and published one way or another--depending on what happens with "Book One"). I started to write "Unfinished One" in October 2010, saying I had these grand dreams of finishing it before November (to taunt all the Nanowrimoers)...I didn't meet that goal. The reason for that was mainly because I had some published authors give me advice, saying that it's not a good idea to write a sequel until you have the first book well on its way to being published. So, I have 2/3 of a book done. I might go back and finish eventually, but I think what I've written needs a LOT of work anyway.

Right now, Imma call my newest project my, er, "Newest Project." I've had the idea for this for about five years, but I kept it on the back burner of my mind because I've got so much else going on. But I've been researching, and I've come to realize that "Paranormal" books are really big now. This book falls into that category. The time to write seems to be now. Without giving away any details about the paranormal aspect, I will say it's a romance of sorts. There's a guy and a girl, and both of them exhibit paranormal abilities, but their gifts compliment each other's gifts. I'm really liking the two main characters so far. The girl is a LOT like me--only she's like all my "negative" personality traits rolled into one and magnified. I'm not sure if other people will like her, but I think she's awesome. I don't really have a detailed plot for this book yet, nor do I have a real title--at least not one that I like. I'm just really excited to see what happens. I'm learning that sometimes I don't know what happens until I'm writing it. Honestly, I like it better that way. It gives the characters some freedom, makes them more real.

Oh, and so far, no Dragons at all in "Newest Project." I know. Shocking!

All right. That's pretty much what I'm working on. Querying. Editing. Writing. And trying to live and work around the edges of that. Yeah, I'm crazy. I love it! I'm glad God has made me the way He's made me.

Now to go edit a synopsis for "Book One" so I can get out some queries...hopefully this week.

A Decision...Maybe

Last time, on The Wonderful Writing World of Ruth, we learned that Ruth is a decent author, but she has absolutely no gumption. Stay tuned for the exciting new episode where we learn about Ruth's epic battle with indecision! Will she decide to continue pursuing agents? Will she decide to scrap this project and begin a new one? Will she stop writing and decide to be a professional yodler instead? Will she go completely insane, join a cult of spider monkeys, and be tragically eaten by savage cannibals? Let's find out!

Yeah, so I may or may not be indecisive. I can't quite decide whether I am nor not. Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe.

While researching agents today, I kinda sorta had an epiphany. I was looking at what all the agents were looking for: Paranormal. I mean, some of them are looking for YA fantasy. Some are even looking for epic "Tolkienish" fantasy, which is what my current project is. But more and more, I'm seeing agents shying away from that epic fantasy and moving towards fantasy that happens in the real world in which we are currently living.

And it hit me. I've had this idea for a book in my head for about three years. I've even written some scenes of it. I don't know exactly what I want to do with it, but I have a lot of ideas. I kept putting this project on the backburner for so long because I had other projects. It's a paranormal sort of book. Right now, the market is burning hot for that sort of thing. I think it's a good concept. I think the scenes I have written are pretty good. I just have to write it and get it ready to try to sell...

...oh, that's right. Writing a book is hard. Editing a book is hard. Editing it again and again and again is even harder. And right now I don't even have as much time as I would like to devote to my other projects. From what I've heard, this is a problem, because the life of an author just gets harder and harder after she's sold something. When am I going to have time for all of this?

So here's the indecision. I mean, it wouldn't be a dilemma if I had enough time to devote to all projects, but I don't think I do. At least, right now I don't see how it's possible. I *COULD* become a complete loony like I did when I wrote my third book, which I wrote in less than two weeks. But honestly, that insanity came in one ginormous crazy awesome spurt, and I don't see it happening again. If I do attempt to write it while also editing my second book (getting it ready for querying) and trying to get representation for my first book, then I just see things getting a little crazy go nuts around here.

But I'm a writer. Writers aren't typically known for their sanity.

So I'm deciding to try. That's kind of what I have been going with all along. I'm going to try to do these things. I'm going to try to get an agent for the first book. I'm going to try to get my second book edited. I'm going to try to write another book. If I succeed, then yay! I'll be a crazy successful person. If I don't succeed, then it's not a huge deal. I mean, there's always that dream of becoming a professional yodler to fall back on.

Ludicrous speed....GO!

Ironic Poetry and Other Stuff

The journey to getting published is often one step forward and two steps back. I'm sure I'll learn this even more as the journey progresses. This week, I got all adventurous and decided I was going to attempt to send out some more queries (about time). Then I realized that while it's good that I'm wanting to start getting active again, I need to really take my time and do this right. I reread and revised my query. I like it. However, I'm going to have some people look over it again for me just to make sure it doesn't completely suck.



I also decided that I need to polish up a synopsis just in case an agent is intrigued enough by my query that they want to read a synopsis. So right now I'm just trying to line up all my hypothetical ducks to make sure they're in a hypothetical row. This is the part I really hate about being a writer who wants to get published. It's a time where I have to hurry up and wait--where I have to find the right balance and the proper timing. I've never been good at those things, but I'm excited to be doing something. I'm excited to see what will happen in the next few weeks.



In the meantime, I wrote a poem. I do write poetry, but I don't typically share my poetry. The reason for this is that I am a lousy poet.



Today, however, I thought it would only be right for me to share my latest poem. It snowed today in the beautiful state of North Carolina. I hate snow, but I have to admit that it was very pretty as it fell down and messed up the roads and got my car all snowified. Since it was such a wintry wonderland here where I live today, I thought I'd share a poem that I wrote a few weeks ago when everything was autumnal and snow free.



The autumn wind is expectant.
Its chill is vibrant and alive
Like it knows a happy secret
That it is trying not to hide.
All the trees are ablaze, now,
Like the bush that Moses could see
When he heard the Voice of "I AM"
Tell him to set His people free.
But the fire upon the trees here
Is just the color of the leaves.
I know the flames cannot consume
A single fiery autumn tree.
But the wind is still expectant.
I hear "I AM's" Voice in the sound
Of the breeze setting free each leaf
As they fall upon Holy Ground.

The Thrill of Rejection

A month ago, there were no literary agents who had ever heard of me or my writing. That changed earlier this month when I sent out about ten query letters in the form of emails. I really should have been more dilligent about sending queries, but it was a HUGE step for me to even send out the ones I have sent.

Of those ten queries, I've gotten back seven rejections. This is absolutely to be expected. In fact, I would be shocked out of my mind if someone had actually shown interest at this juncture. That's not to say that I think my writing isn't worthy of being published, but realistically, rejections are what I should expect. I am, after all, an unknown writer.

Still, there is that tiny glimmer of hope that comes when I check my email and see that I have a response. I have two separate email accounts: One that I use to send my queries to agents, and my old email account where I send and receive everything else. So when I check that very special email account, I automatically know whether or not I have a response from an agent as soon as I log in.

More often than not over the course of this past month, I've logged in to that email account only to find that no one has responded to my queries. These are the worst days--when nothing happens. Then come the times when I log in and am surprised to see that I actually have an email waiting for me. Then comes that beautiful, glorious feeling of anticipation. I click to enter my inbox. I see that the email is indeed from one of the agents I have queried.

And I hesitate. I hesitate because I want to savor the moment. This could be the email that changes my life. This could be the email of acceptance. This could be the email that launches me into the career I'm so desperately hoping to have. This could be the email that terrifies me the most, because it will mean that I have succeeded. And success can be a lot scarier than failure.

Something else could happen after I open that email. It could mean that there's another rejection, another slammed door in my face. I've prepared myself for those slammed doors, but that annoying glimmer of hope won't let me be completely realistic. So I hesitate.

But then, I know I must open that email. If I don't open it, I'll never know. So I open the email...

...so far, I've only found rejections. Some have been a lot kinder than others (Alec Shane, assistant to Jodi Reamer, really knows how to let a girl down easy. I like him!) People have given me advice to try to self-publish and save myself this agony of getting rejected.

Well, first of all, I've only been at this a month. I'd feel like a whiny quitter if I gave up so easily, for that's what I would be. Quitting is for sissies and pansies and people who never get published. Second, fear of rejection is not a valid reason not to try. Why would I deny myself the pleasure of checking those emails, hoping against hope that the next email I receive will be the one I've been waiting for?

Even if it's another rejection, I have the opportunity to learn something. And I'm having a lot of fun in the process.