Monday Blahg: Blah, Indeed

This past week has been discouraging in many ways, and I don't handle discouragement very well.

-The writing/editing has practically been non-existent.

-I'm fairly sure that I'm not going to meet a deadline I made for myself regarding the website/blog I want to start soon.  And by the way, it has been brought to my attention that I need to clarify something about this website/blog.  It is NOT going to be a single's website. I've had several people refer to it as a single's website, and I'm not sure where that miscommunication occured.  I thought I had been pretty clear that if single people are the only people who visit, read, comment on, and can relate to the blog I'm hoping to start (dare I hope, next week?--if all the stars align), then I might as well just forget the whole thing.  I'm a single person, yes, and I'm writing from that perspective, but with the hopes that people with other perspectives will give them to me, to the other readers.  I want it to be a community, a place where many different people from different marital, etc. backgrounds can find common ground and unity.  I want it to be a place where we can encourage one another and find ways to minister to one another better, all with the single purpose of glorifying God.  I know it's going to be a rough start, getting others involved, and sometimes I get discouraged about that.  Sometimes I want to just drop the whole idea, but I know this vision is something God gave me.  I can't allow discouragement to keep me from trusting and obeying, and eventually seeing God's work come to life.

-I do owe on my taxes.  It's not nearly as much as last year, and it's managable, but it's still a discouraging amount.  It's even more discouraging because I was hoping to get a little something back this year.  And while I LOVE my jobs, I'm starting to realize that it's not financially responsible for me to keep doing things the way I've been doing them.  That saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"?  Yeah.  I can relate.  I'm going to start looking into getting something full time, which I don't want to do, but I can't keep working myself half to death and barely making it from paycheck to paycheck.  Plus, it's killing me to have work take out extra money on every paycheck, and I STILL end up having to pay out of pocket when tax time comes.  I'm not doing my taxes incorrectly; it's just that being single and having four jobs doesn't make for a happy tax season.  So hooray.  I love my work, but unfortunately that's not good enough anymore.  I just hope I don't end up working in a prison box padded cell cubicle.

-The running is going a little better.  I got back up to 4 miles, which is a far cry from the 13.1 I want to accomplish this year, but it's better than last week.  I could barely manage 2 miles last week, for whatever reason.  I need to kick it up a notch, soon.  I need to actually start training--not that I have a race date in mind yet, but I might as well be prepared for anything.

-The diet is going well, too.  Can't complain there.  I even get marshmallows  and chocolate from time to time. 

-God has been faithful this week to remind me of my weaknesses.  I've had a rough week.  I've been broken in several different ways.  And I figure that's kind of where He wanted me, where He wants me.  Sometimes we have to be broken before we can be healed.  It's not a happy place to be, but I know there's always mercy in the struggle.

Happy Monday!  I'm hoping this week is better than the last!