Feliz Navidad! Friday: Christmas Decorations

One of my favorite things about Christmas is getting my Christmas ornaments and decorations out of storage.  This usually happens pretty soon after Thanksgiving (or sometimes even a little bit before).  I like opening the box, which has contained and concentrated the smells of the Christmas candles from years gone by.  A delightful smell greets me, reminding me of Christmas seasons from my childhood, as well as more recent Christmases.  I love opening little boxes where I've placed random decorations, getting that surprise when I find an ornament I'd forgotten I'd even had.  It's like Christmas morning, only the presents I receive are ones that I had packed away the previous January (or February...).  And each decoration has a memory--whether I received it as a gift from someone I love, or whether I bought it for myself because it somehow caught my attention.

Last year, I bought myself a decoration.  It's a blue glittery wooden word: "Peace."  I bought this because last year, starting near Christmas, "Peace" was a concept God was showing me, both through the Christmas story, and through Scripture and life in general.  God, through His goodness, came down to earth in the form of man in order to offer peace to rebellious mankind.  I wanted a reminder of that, and of the things the Lord has been teaching me (and is still teaching me). 

This year, I was tempted to look for an ornament or other decoration that says, "Hope," since that is the theme the Lord has been showing me for this Christmas (and the following year).  But when I took out my Christmas decorations, I found an ornament that I'd been given the year before.  I got this for teaching MOPS last year, and it's just perfect.  I have it hanging along side my "peace sign."

I have a few treasured childhood ornaments, as well as several newer ornaments from kids and families and friends whom I love.  Some of my favorite newer pieces are my nutcracker (that was given to me by a little boy who insisted that I needed a nutcracker--apparently everyone needs at least one of those), my nativity scene advent wreath, and my Santa hats for my lamp kitties.  That's right.  Lamp kitties.  With Santa hats. 

...this is probably why I'm single...

Of course, the centerpiece of all my Christmas decorating is my Christmas Beam.  You see, in my current apartment, I haven't bothered with an actual tree.  No, this 100+ year old apartment with 12 foot ceilings has come equipped with a large wooden beam in the middle of the living room.  Well, what better to do with a large wooden beam in the middle of the living room than to cover it in ghetto garland, mini taped-on ornaments, and lights?

What are some of your favorite Christmas decorations?  Do they remind you of anything or anyone special?

Sunday Sum Up: Two Week Warning

Gonna start out by saying that this week was not on my top ten list of the best weeks ever.

-- On Monday, I was irrationally angry.  Also, my thumb started hurting.  The pain was minor; the anger was not.  I had to wrestle with the anger thing for about three days.  After a really good cry and a LOT of grace from both God and other people, I was able to get over the anger.  My thumb, on the other hand, chose to suddenly swell up and get all purple and red on Thursday night.  My first thought was, "Well, at least it's my left thumb (I'm right handed), so if this is gangrene and I have to get it amputated, I can still hold pencils, eating utensils, and I can still play the guitar."  Well, I don't think it's going to have to be amputated (I still get to wear lefty thumb rings! Hooray!).  It's still slightly swollen, but it's definitely healing up.  I just hope it'll finish healing up in time for me to finish my Christmas knitting.

-- I finally finished the book I'm supposed to be reviewing.  But now that I've read it, I find that I want to read it again before reviewing, just to help me order my thoughts.  So, I'm guessing I won't be reviewing this book until some time in January.  I got the book in October, so I guess a January review isn't pushing it too much, hmm?  Hmm.

-- I've been to two Christmas musical programs--one for a kid who comes where I work, and one for the kids at my church.  It just doesn't feel like Christmas until I've seen some kids singing.  I'm going to try to go to another Christmas program this week for one of the girls I watch, and then I'll be singing next Sunday in the adult choir/orchestra program at my church. 

-- It's only two weeks until Christmas.  Just thought you'd like to know.  Are you done with your shopping and baking and wrapping?

Me neither.

Feliz Navidad! Friday: Christmas FOOD!

I just sampled Cinnamon M&Ms.  I didn't even know they existed, but I found them because I was looking for Mint M&Ms, which usually only come out of hiding around Christmas.  Apparently, Mint M&Ms were not enough, and they decided to add another variety to the list of holiday flavors. But Cinnamon M&Ms are brown and red, not Christmasy colored, so that makes me a little sad.  Also, they taste like plain M&Ms (I refuse to call them "Milk Chocolate M&Ms) that might have once brushed up against something that was mildly cinnamonish.  They're redeemable, though, because they're made out of chocolate.

I also have in my fridge Pumpkin Pie Spice and White Chocolate Raspberry flavored coffee creamers in colorful holiday themed bottles.  I'm not sure if they'll complement the Mocha-Mint coffee my roommate purchased, but it's worth a shot. 

Food companies are smart.  They know how to market different flavors of their usual products around the holidays.  And I'm a sucker for them.  That's largely because I'm a huge sucker for Christmas...and Christmas food.

Candy canes.  Gingerbread.  White Chocolate Covered Pretzels.  These foods don't just taste good; they actually make me feel more Christmasy.  I'm not sure why that is, because a candy cane in the middle of summer doesn't remind me of Christmas.  A candy cane in June is just like eating a breath mint in a weird shape--especially since that candy cane has been sitting around since the past December.  But if December passes and I haven't had a candy cane, I feel as though I've missed something.  December candy canes have a minty simplicity that remind me of opening my stocking as a child on Christmas morning.

I also love hot chocolate and holiday teas.  Celestial Seasonings makes a couple of Christmas teas that are amazing.  Their Candy Cane Lane decaf green tea isn't just a basic peppermint tea.  It has this subtle hint of vanilla that brings out the mint flavor even more.  And their Sugar Plum Spice herbal tea tastes like magic.  Seriously.  If you want to taste magic, go drink that tea. 

I don't just like eating Christmas food.  I love making it.  I love making biscotti and Christmas-shaped sugar cookies.  I like making gigantic cookie cakes in the shape of a Christmas tree.  I love covering my entire kitchen counter with trays and trays of chocolate covered pretzels.  I just don't know if Christmas would be the same without making ridiculous amounts of fattening food to give away to all my friends and family (and personally sample a little bit here and there, of course).

When I was a kid, I remember going to my grandmother's house every Christmas afternoon/evening.  The parents would talk.  The kids would play.  We'd open presents.  And we'd eat.  We'd eat Christmas turkey and ham, marshmallow fruit salad, the best green beans in the world, and peanut brittle.  I'm pretty sure grandma got the peanut brittle for me, because I loved it, and she was allergic to peanuts.  My grandma loved Christmas, and she loved her family, and she loved making food for her family.  And she was very, very good at making that food.

My cooking skills leave a lot to be desired, but I still enjoy making a few small goodies for the people I care about.  I love smelling the Christmas smells and tasting the Christmas tastes.  These simple things make the most wonderful time of the year even more wonderful.

What are your favorite things to eat and/or make at Christmas time?

Sunday Sum-Up: Still

This week has been crazy busy, and the weeks to follow will probably be just as crazy and just as busy.  Therefore, the Sunday blogs are probably going to be lists, rather than actual blogs.
--Still working on the website stuff, slowly, but surely.

--Still working a lot--that never changes.

--Still reading a great book that I will hopefully do a review on soon! (Christian fantasy)

--Still addicted to Pysch reruns and knitting, only I don't have time for THAT either right now.

--Still enjoying this season with all it's wonderfulness and craziness!

--With all the things I'm still doing, it's hard to find time to be still.  So reminding myself (and anyone who reads this) to take time to breathe.  Take time to appreciate the wild wonder of this time.  More importantly, take time to think about the reason why we celebrate Christmas--when we were without hope, God came to dwell with us.

Merry Christmas!

Feliz Navidad! Friday: Christmas Movies

I've heard a lot of people (women) tell me lately that they can't watch the Hallmark Channel during this time of year because it makes them cry.  I don't have the Hallmark Channel (or any cable channel), but if I had it, I'm pretty sure I'd only watch it when "Little House on the Prairie" is on.  I like that show.  But most of the other stuff on that channel kind of makes me squeamish, and I have a feeling that most of the stuff they play during this time of year would also make me squeamish. 

I'm not a big fan of sappy Christmas movies.  ...unless I grew up watching them, of course.

I've got a few Christmas movies that I have to see every November-December of every year...and sometimes in the summer, too.  Most of them are movies that I did grow up watching, but there are a few that have become favorites just in the past few years.

Elf is one of my newer favorites, which is weird, because I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan.  In fact, the only movies I like (and, in fact, love) with him are Elf and Megamind.  I think the reason that I love these movies and love Will Ferrell's characters in them is because there's a reason why these characters act the way they do.  In some Will Ferrell movies, he acts like an idiot, and there's no reason for it.  He's a normal guy in a normal life with a normal family, and yet, he's acting like a complete idiot.  I don't like that.  But in Megamind, he's a cartoon extraterrestrial villain with a gigantic blue head.  It makes sense for him to act ridiculously.  In Elf, dude was raised by Bob Newhart wearing bright yellow tights elves.  It makes sense for him to act ridiculously.  And this movie has Ed Asner, James Caan, AND Zooey Deschanel, so it has to be pretty good.  My one issue with this movie is that I really can't help but wonder why Buddy the Elf hasn't developed DIABEETUS.

One of my favorite scenes:



Another movie I have to see every year is the one they play on TBS for 24 hours every Christmas. A Christmas Story. Now, I don't have cable, but that's okay. My mom bought the dvd for me a couple Christmases ago, so I can watch it anytime--even if it's not Christmas Eve. I can relive the tongue stuck to the flagpole, the scary Santa slide, and the Red Ryder BB Gun joy all year long! Last Christmas, my mom gave me a rather remarkable puzzle that is shaped like the leg lamp. It came in a wooden box marked FRAGILE. Fra-gee-lay? Must be Italian.

Now, last week, I think I wrote in my blog that I only liked one version of "Deck the Halls" (the Mannheim Steamroller version). I now realize that there's another version I really like:



I'm not a huge fan of chick flicks, but I don't consider this next movie a chick flick. I guess it technically couldn't be considered a Christmas movie, either, but the plot does take place around Christmas and New Year's. While You Were Sleeping is one of my favorite, favorite movies. I think it has something to do with the fact that I've got a huge celeb crush on mid 1990s Bill Pullman. Or maybe it's just because those mashed potatoes are so creamy...



Now, when I was a kid, I think I could have watched Mickey's Christmas Carol every day and not gotten tired of it. I think the reason that I think this is because I DID watch it every day, and I never got tired of it. I've watched several versions of this classic tale, and I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't read Charles Dickens' book until last year. Really, after seeing so many versions of the story, I pretty much felt as though I had already read it. It's good to know that most adaptations, including Mickey's version, are fairly accurate.  And by the way, the book is totally worth the read.

This is probably my favorite version of the movie, but probably only because Patrick Stewart is my favorite Scrooge:



A few years ago, I found a copy of Mickey's Christmas Carol on dvd along with a Pluto Christmas cartoon, and another cartoon short film entitled The Small One. I got the dvd because I really do like Mickey's Christmas Carol and the Pluto cartoon, but the real movie I wanted was The Small One. No Christmas movie can reduce me to tears quicker than this sweet story about a boy and his elderly "pet" donkey. The boy's father wanted the boy to sell the donkey, but the boy couldn't find a buyer. I don't want to reveal the ending, but the theme of the story is that "There's a place for each Small One, God planned it that way." The fact that Disney (even old school Disney) produced something so clearly Christian is amazing. If you really want a great Christmas story with a good message and fun songs, I suggest you try to get your hands on a copy of Classic Cartoon Favorites Vol. 9: Classic Holiday Stories, which contains The Small One and a couple of other great cartoons.



Okay, so my absolute favorite Christmas movie has to be A Charlie Brown Christmas. I like a lot of things about this. Love the music. Love the characters. I even love the ridiculously simple animation. But the main reason I love this movie is because of this scene right here:



That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

I have a lot of other Christmas movies I like, but if I were to blog about them all, this would be a really long blog. So why not leave me a comment and let me know what your favorite Christmas movies are? What are your favorite scenes? Any Christmas movies you hate?

"Feliz Navidad" Friday: Christmas Songs

It's the day after Thanksgiving, which means I can officially start spazzing about Christmas without making everyone mad at me.  So every Friday until after Christmas, I'll be posting about Christmasy things.  If I had my way, I'd probably post about Christmas all the time.  I love Christmas!  I kinda celebrate it all year long, but most people don't appreciate me talking about it/playing Christmas music/singing Christmas songs/watching Christmas movies/decorating/etc. all year long, so I try to control it.  But now, everyone who celebrates Christmas is free to celebrate it openly, so I am, too.  Yes, my friends, it is officially the most wonderful time of the year.

And speaking of "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year," I want to point out right now that Andy Williams should be the only one allowed to sing that song.  Ever. 

I feel that way about a lot of Christmas songs.  I have fallen in love with one particular version of a song, and any other version just sounds/feels completely wrong.  And this is problematic because everyone and their mother likes to cover Christmas songs that have already reached perfection.  Andy Williams' "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is the definitive version, yet every year I hear the radio stations playing some other version.  Come on people; you can't improve upon Andy Williams. 



And if you're not Gene Autry, then you should not be recording your own jazzed up version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."  "Frosty the Snowman" is only supposed to be sung by Jimmy Durante.  Judy Garland has to sing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas." "White Christmas" belongs to Bing Crosby.  And if I hear any other version besides Burl Ives' "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas," I seriously want to go find the person who recorded the other version and punch him/her in the face.  And that's not very Christmasy, so please don't drive me to that point.



I'm also quite partial to Manheim Steamroller's version of "Deck the Halls."  I'm not sure why, but the upbeat synthesized melody is like audible happiness.  Maybe it's because this version has no annoying lyrics about trolling ancient yuletide carols, or maybe it's just because it reminds me of Disney's Main Street Electrical Parade...I don't know.  All I know is that I really don't like any other version of "Deck the Halls," but there's something about Manheim Steamroller that makes me feel good.



Now, as far as the "Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum-pum Song" (AKA "The Little Drummer Boy") goes, most versions are corny, and some of them make me want to pa-rum-pum-pum-pum-pum my head against a brick wall, but there is one version that's actually quite good.  The Jars of Clay version of "Little Drummer Boy" is the best. 



Now, one of my favorite Christmas carols happens to be "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day."  When Casting Crowns came out with their version, which is a little bit different from the traditional carol, I kind of got a little pouty.  But the thing is, the more I listened to it, the more I discovered I kind of liked it (maybe more than the traditional carol, but probably not--the jury is still out).  But then, if you include a good children's ensemble, then almost any Christmas song becomes better.





My absolute favorite Christmas carol is "Joy to the World," (just about any version--Handel wrote the music, so that's why it's awesome) but I also really like "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," "Angels We Have Heard on High," and "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel." And recently (as in the past three years or so), I've been obsessed with a song by Todd Agnew called "God With Us."  If you haven't heard it, you need to, so here you go:



"God With Us" comes from an album entitled "Do You See What I See?" which comes from the song, "Do You Hear What I Hear?".  "Do You Hear What I Hear?" is probably one of the most ridiculous songs ever.  Tim Hawkins has a great sketch that explains this ridiculousness:



So, what are your favorite Christmas songs, and what versions do you like the best?  Are there any Christmas songs you don't understand or that you hate?

Sunday Update: Hope

We have started studying Luke in my Sunday School Adult Bible Study class at church.  So today we talked about Christmas, since part of the Christmas story from the Bible is told in the first two chapters of Luke.

I love Christmas.  I love Christmas so much that I don't like confining to one day out of the year.  In fact, I don't even like confining it to one week or one month out of the year.  I don't even like confining it to a season.  My brother has a birthday in mid December, so my mom always delayed putting up Christmas decorations until AFTER his birthday.  I understand that she did this to keep my brother's birthday as separate from Christmas as possible, but it drove me nuts (still does).  For me, it's okay to start celebrating Christmas in late August or early September.  That's when we start working on Christmas music for the choir at my church.  So it's not uncommon for me to start listening to Christmas music in September--even stuff that's not related to the music we're singing in choir.  I try to keep it toned down a little since (for SOME reason) a lot of people seem to think that you can't celebrate Christmas until after Thanksgiving.  What's THAT about?  Thanksgiving is PART of Christmas.  So is Halloween.  So is all of fall.  It all leads up to Christmas.  It's like a whole wonderful time of the year when stores are filled with candy corn, cranberry sauce, and Christmas lights. 

I love it.  To some extent, I even love the commercialism--which seems strange, but let me try to explain that.   I don't like the whole idea that everyone needs to spend exorbitant amounts of money on tons of gifts that people don't really need.  I don't like the idea of wastefulness--because let's face it, your kids will live if they don't get the latest new toy.  Your grandma will live if you don't get her a new pair of isotoner slippers.  Aunt Bertha doesn't need another Cracker Barrel gift card.  There is a lot of silliness that comes with the "Christmas season" that kind of irks me.  BUT I like the busyness that comes as a result of people going out to buy presents, and I do think it's possible for people to give presents without being wasteful.  Christmas is a time to say "I love you" with gifts, and no, there's not really any clear mandate in Scripture for that.  We can try to justify it all by saying, "Oh, but the wise men gave gifts to Jesus," or even "God gave Jesus to the world."  Really, there's no Scriptural reason for Christmas to be a time to give presents.  I just don't think there's anything wrong with sharing gifts with someone you love.  I do think it's unnecessary to give/receive HUGE presents that put people into debt, but it's the little things that make me tremendously happy--both giving and receiving them.  I like making cookies and chocolate-dipped pretzels and giving them to families who mean a lot to me.  I like saying "Thank you" to people who have supported or helped me by knitting them a scarf (the only thing I'm really good at knitting--because I knit like I play the guitar...I can fool people who don't know anything about it into thinking I'm good at it).  And yes, I like getting unexpected surprises, tokens of love and appreciation, from others.  It's part of the "magic" of the season, the shared love in the form of gifts.  But that's not even close to being the main reason why I love Christmas.

So what is the main reason why I love Christmas?  Is it the music?  Is it the food?  Is it the weather (I actually hate cold and snow, unless it's at Christmas!)?  Is it the movies?  Is it something I inherited from my grandmother, who LOVED Christmas and celebrated it all year long? 

What's the Sunday School answer here?  What am I supposed to say?  I'm supposed to say, "I love Christmas because it's Jesus' birthday!"  But...that's not the main reason why I love Christmas.  Why?  I guess it's because I'm selfish.

When I was about four years old, my mom told me something I never forgot.  She probably doesn't even remember saying this, but I remember it vividly.  I was unwrapping Christmas presents at my grandparents' house on Christmas afternoon.  I'd already gotten the "Santa haul" from home, and now it was time to get the "relatives' haul."  I remember the scene very clearly.  I was sitting on the floor by the ottoman of the chair by the sliding glass door that overlooked the front porch.  One or two of their seventy bazgillion feral cats (they lived out in the country) were probably out on that porch, looking through that door at me, trying to soak in some of the indoor warmth through the glass.  I had just opened my last present, and was surrounded by boxes, toys, wrapping paper, and the comic strips my aunt used to wrap presents in.  And I turned to my mom and said something.  I don't remember what I said, but her response was unforgettable.  I was either complaining about how I didn't have any more presents or bragging about how much I'd gotten or something like that, and my mom said something profound.  She said, "Ruth, the older you get, the more you're going to want to give things than get things."

I remember that so clearly because it was impossible for my four year old brain to understand that logic.  What?  How could I EVER be happier giving than getting?  Getting stuff is AWESOME; giving stuff means I'll...have to sacrifice.  Sacrifice doesn't make sense to most four year olds.  In fact, it doesn't make much sense to most adults, either. 

And maybe I should be ashamed of myself for admitting this, but my favorite part about Christmas is still NOT about what I give.  It's still about what I get.  The difference between the four year old me and the thirty-one year old me is that I'm no longer so tremendously excited about getting stuff.  The most important part of Christmas is that God gave Himself to me.  And I guess that does make me selfish, but the fact is, I need to be selfish, here.  I need God.  I don't always understand sacrifice, but God understands it well.  Giving, love, sacrifice, mercy--that's kind of what He's about.  So I do get excited about receiving Him, all the while praising Him for being the holy and righteous Giver, both just and merciful.  It takes a certain degree of humility to realize that we don't really have anything to give.  We can't be the Giver.  But there can be so much joy in taking what we're offered, and God offers what we need.  And Christmas is the celebration of the culmination of all the promises of God, which came in the form of a weak, human baby.  No...I don't really think I understand the concept of sacrifice at all.

And for the past several Christmases, I've been focusing on words associated with Christmas.  It's been a different word every year.  Last year, it was Peace.  The year before, it was Joy.  The year before that, it was Star.  And I know this is weird for some people since it's so early in the year, but I already have a theme word for this upcoming Christmas.  And that word is Hope.

I have nothing.  I am nothing.  God changed that forever with the gift of Himself, which is why someone as hopeless and helpless as I am can have such great and unfailing Hope.

I've said all of this because I'm about to start my new routine.  I've got a day off for Labor Day tomorrow.  Within reason, I can do pretty much whatever I want to do tomorrow.  But come Tuesday, I start preschool.  I start a regular weekly work schedule (and filling in gaps where I can) with the drop-in childcare centers where I work.  I will continue to watch the girls two-three afternoons a week.  I'm also going to make regular time to edit my writing (not starting any new projects at the moment because that's not going to help me become a published writer--I gotta focus more on editing and preparing queries).  So for me, the fall is about to begin, and the only reason for fall to begin is that fall will eventually lead to Christmas.  Sorry, that's just how I think.  Calendar wise, everything eventually leads back to Christmas.

But as this summer has ended and this new season has begun, I've already started feeling this strong sense of hopefulness.  I know that feelings aren't always reliable, but sometimes there's a sense of something that just can't be shaken.  I'm expectant without even really knowing what to expect--just that something good, possibly life-changing, is coming if I'll work and wait for it, something that's coming soon in the advent of this new fall routine.  And I'm learning that because of the "upper-case H" Hope I have in Christ, it's okay to "lowercase h" hope for smaller things.  If I'm disappointed in something I've hoped for, that's okay.  It's okay because the greatest Hope I'll ever have won't disappoint.  No matter what happens to me, I am still God's, and He is still mine.  Oh, I love Christmas!  Lol!

So I'm entering this fall/Christmas season with my head lifted up.  I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'm looking.  I still have a feeling whatever happens will take me by happy surprise.  That's usually how it works. 

Peace

It's safe to say that 2011 has been an "off year" when it comes to writing.  I've not done much--definitely not all the things I had planned to do.  I know the year isn't quite over yet, but that halfway point of JUNE is mocking me, reminding me of how much of a writing failure I am.

Only, I don't feel like a failure at all.  I probably should.  I haven't really met many of my goals.  I haven't really even tried.  Yesterday (okay, and today too), I spent my free afternoon taking a nap and playing stupid computer games.  I think I might have a slight touch of apathy going on right now.  I hope it passes soon--like by next week, when I have lots of time off that can be used to work on query stuff.

Yeah, but I guess I should be more upset that this year hasn't gone exactly as I had planned back in the last few days of 2010.  The last two or three years of my life, I've noticed that my calendar is a week off from the actual calendar.  My New Year doesn't begin on New Year's Day.  It begins at Christmas.  Christmas is the day on which my entire year revolves. 

For the last few Christmases, my brain has focused on one idea that has to do with the Christmas story--with the story of God coming down to earth in the form of man in order to redeem mankind from death and sin.  Three years ago, I focused on the Star--connecting the stars that God showed Abraham back in Genesis 15 with the Star the Wisemen followed in Matthew 2.  I even wrote a song about it.  Two years ago, I focused on Joy. 

When this past Christmas came, I started thinking early about what idea would stand out.  One word kept standing out to me.  Peace. 

Linus in A Charlie Brown Christmas (my fave Christmas movie) read a passage from Luke 2--"...Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will to men."  A song we sang for the choir Christmas program at church--Casting Crown's version of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" with the refrain "Peace on earth.  Peace on earth.  Peace on earth, good will to men." 

I wish I had taken Greek and Hebrew in college instead of going with Spanish (because I can't speak Spanish).  Then I'd be able to have better insight as to what that phrase "peace on earth, good will to men" actually means.  I've read several different translations, which all give the phrase a slightly different meaning.  "Peace on earth to men, on whom His favor rests."  "Peace on earth to those on whom His favor rests."  Does it mean that God offers peace and good will to ALL men?  Does it mean that God offers peace because His favor rests with men?  Does it mean that God offers peace ONLY to those on whom His favor rests?

I wrestled with this for a little while last December.  I came to the conclusion that while the translation and arguments surrounding it might be important at other times and in other circumstances, it didn't really matter to what I was trying to figure out.  The fact is, God did come to earth to offer peace to those who would accept Him.  He created us.  We rebelled against Him.  He came down with us to offer us reconciliation.  The angel came to bring good news.  And it was the best news ever.  I think that's why my whole year revolves around Christmas.  Easter is important too--it's also the best news ever that death couldn't keep Christ in that tomb.  I think the fact that Christ came and the fact that Christ lives are both the best news ever.

The thing is, this whole idea of peace didn't leave me after the Christmas season ended.  And I'm still trying to wrap my feeble human brain around the concept of peace. 

I'm an angry person.  If you haven't noticed this about me, it's not because it's not true.  It's just because you haven't seen it.  The ladies I work with at the drop-in center have seen it.  Lol.  I have a short fuse.  It's not as bad as it used to be, but it still exists.

But I can handle the short fuse a lot better than I can handle the grudges I hold, the bitterness I have let creep into my heart, the irrational senses of unfairness that I feel.  The Lord has been working in my heart since this past Christmas to root out a lot of the anger I didn't even realize I had.  Reminders of past pain and grievances have just popped up at seemingly random times, and I've had to deal with them and/or let them go.  And it's been a long, often difficult process.  And I know He's not done yet.  I'm grateful He loves me enough to work on me...

All of this is to say that sometimes the plans I make for my year, for my month, for my week, for my day--well, all of them can be thwarted quite easily.  I had plans for this to be a major writing year.  The Lord has had plans to work on my heart.  He's showing me that peace, although I can't understand it, is something worth pursuing.  He's showing me that as an imperfect person, I can't hold the imperfections of others against them.  He's showing me how to listen more than I speak.  He's bringing situations into my life that force me to be confrontational, yet He's showing me how to be gentle in the midst of those confrontations.  And I'm learning again that everything that comes into my life is filtered through grace.  God knows things are going to happen to me.  He knew I'd have a couple of financial issues this year (so far).  He knew I'd have to deal with work issues and situations in the lives of friends.  He knows everything that's coming, and He's allowing it--the good and the bad--because everything that comes my way is an opportunity to trust Him and show love to others.
And I have a feeling that peace is found somewhere in the midst of all of that. 

So no, this year hasn't gone exactly as planned.  I could definitely stand to work a little harder, so don't get me wrong.  I'm not using this as a cop-out.  But when it comes down to it, I'm not really that stressed out that things haven't gone as I planned.  God has His own plans.  And I'm hoping that when Christmas rolls around again, I'm closer to peace (and to Him) than I was before.

Feeling Like Myself

I wrote something today!

It's probably the first thing I've sat down and written in over a month (blogs, unfortunately, do not count). I didn't mean to take another writing break, but with all the Christmas stuff going on, I just haven't really had a good amount of time for it. And when I do have time, I haven't had the energy. What with the Christmas musicals to attend (and perform in) and the Christmas cookies to bake (and burn, forcing me to rebake), and the Christmas parties and the Christmas shopping, and the Christmas cards, and the Christmas present wrapping, and getting a little sick and sleeping extra so I won't get sicker, my creativity has been stifled.

Don't get me wrong, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I LOVE the Christmas chaos. It's just that the other day I was sitting and thinking about how I just haven't been writing lately. It made me sad.

It snowed here yesterday. It was only a few inches, but the roads were a little icy. It's North Carolina, so they cancelled school, and consequently I wasn't needed at any of my jobs. So I stayed inside and read a book--something I don't get to do as often as I'd like. Usually, if I'm not working (or participating in Christmas chaos), I'm writing my fingers off. Getting to actually read a book was a rare treat.

The book itself was all right. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't something I'd consider truly remarkable. However, as I am fond of saying, creativity breeds creativity. The book wasn't incredible, but it still managed to spark my imagination. It sparked my desire to create something.

And I was able to sit down and write an original fairy tale today. I didn't even really know what it was about or how it would end. I just started out with a couple of characters and just wrote. In the span of less than an hour, I was able to craft what I consider to be a rough draft of an enjoyable 5 page (handwritten) fairy tale.

I can't adequately describe the feeling. It was like something inside me woke up. As I wrote the last few words of that story, I felt like me again. I haven't been too out of sorts lately, but suddenly I just felt more like myself than I had in weeks. I don't think I knew how unlike myself I was until I suddenly felt like myself again. Does that make sense? Oh well...

The fairy tale was an answer to a prayer. I am hoping to compile a collection of fairy tales to be published sooner than later (untraditionally), and I need a few more. I hope to do some pretty cool stuff with this collection, but more on that is to come...I still have plenty of writing/editing to do before it's ready. My latest story, however, I think is pretty good.

...when I read over it again, it might stink, but for now, I am feeling like a writer again. I'm feeling like myself.

Distractions

I did some research tonight on agents I want to query. Depending on how things go, I might send out a few queries as early as tomorrow night. I'm ready to get back into this.

I didn't do as much research as I might have done. This occupied a lot of my time tonight...

May I present the Christmas Beam (I haven't figured out how to tilt the pic upright, just turn your head sideways) :

My apartment was originally the offices for an old cotton mill store. It's over 100 years old and there's this magnificent beam right here in my living room. The first time I saw it (it was summertime) I thought, "We can decorate that for Christmas!"

So now, we don't put up a tree. My roommate and I decorate our Christmas Beam.

O Christmas Beam, O Christmas Beam, how ghetto are your electrical tape ornament holders!

Maybe tomorrow I'll stop decorating random things and actually send out some queries.

As always, prayer is appreciated!