Summer

Ever since my preschool teacher gig ended the last week of May, I've had a lot of extra time off.  Even with two (actually, due to some boring stuff I don't want to go into, it's now officially THREE) other jobs apart from the preschool thing, I can't seem to get enough hours to fully occupy my time.  And I know that when schools get out around here, I'm going to have to devote full days instead of full afternoons to my nanny job--but in the meantime, I have a lot more time to do absolutely nothing.

Now, if this time had been handed to me back in January or February, I know exactly what I would do with it.  I'd work on writing stuff until my fingers fell off.  Since I kind of like my fingers attached to my hands, I guess it's a good thing that I didn't have a lot of free time then.

The thing is, there's something about the summer that makes me feel...well, I can't think of a word for it.  Lazy was the first word that came to my mind, but that's not what I'm looking for.  I mean, I can be lazy (yesterday was an example of how I can unforgivably waste a lot of time playing computer games when I'm supposed to be working on writing--and I hope never to repeat it--but something tells me I will).  But I think a better term to describe how summer makes me feel is...relaxed.

I blame it on the fact that I spent my entire childhood going to school for every season besides summer.  When summer came, no more work.  I got to sleep in late and watch tv and read books and play outside and go swimming and go on vacation and just do nothing until August.  And my parents are teachers, so they had summer off, too.  I had no concept of people actually having to WORK in the summer.  And I guess even now part of that mentality is still present.

Sometimes I get really worked up and think I have to do a lot of stuff--and work is important.  The things I do with the time I've been given are vitally important.  But sometimes I start thinking that if I'm not doing this one certain thing (like writing, going to work, etc.), then I'm wasting my time.  And summer is a nice reminder that it's okay to relax.  It's a reminder I need annually.

Last summer I decided that I was going to try to experience every season instead of just getting through them.  With summer, that meant I was going to spend more time doing relaxing things that were still important.  I went on daycations to see friends that live a few hours away.  I sat out on my front porch with a glass of iced tea--just to listen to the sounds of the crickets.  I put on my spf 100 and went to the pool.  I made low calorie root beer floats.  In the fall, I made a point of actually going to the state fair (since it's so close and I'd NEVER been before--what was I thinking?).  I carved a pumpkin.  I made a full Thanksgiving dinner (complete with a 13 lb. turkey) just for myself (even though one other person did show up at the last minute).  Winter was harder because I'm one of those notorious WINTER HATERS, but even then I tried.  I mean, Christmas is easy.  It's my favorite season, my favorite day, my favorite favorite favorite.  But after Christmas, then comes that two and a half month period where I hate everything...except for hot chocolate (which I couldn't have because I'm dieting, but oh well).  But I did a lot of knitting (because that's a winter activity, yo).  I got a new coat which helped things a lot--it's always better to brave the cold when looking adorable and fashionable...and because of all the knitting, I also had a lot of cute scarves to wear.  Mainly, I kept telling myself that spring would be all the sweeter after I finally got through winter.  Then spring came and my heart rejoiced!  Life!  Flowers!  Butterflies!  Warmer (but not too warm) weather!  Allergies...well, okay, so spring isn't perfect either, but that's what Claritin is for.

So it's summer again (or so the temperatures outside tell me, even if the calendar still says it's spring).  And I'm learning (once again) that it's okay to relax.  I've had a lot of time off.  Some of it I've wasted.  Some of it I've spent LIVING.  Even if I'm not working or writing, I can still do something important--like go have lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while or having a picnic just because I can.

I really think that one of the reasons God invented summer is to remind us to slow down and take time to relax.  I get in such a hurry sometimes to do do do, get done get done get done, be somewhere be somewhere be somewhere that I forget it's important to take time to breathe.  God did give us work, but He also gave us rest.  And sometimes rest means doing something different from the treadmill/hamster wheel routine.  Sometimes it just means taking the time to appreciate life.

So whatever else happens this summer, I plan on really living.

Breathing

I have two favorite definitions for the word "inspiration." The first is the obvious one that most people think of when they think of inspiration. It refers to that influence that causes a person to think or act a certain way. The other definition I like is a more scientific term that refers to the action of inhaling air into one's lungs.

The thing I like about both of these definitions is that I can understand perfectly how both definitions can apply to the same word. I think that, in some ways, the defintions mean basically the same thing. As a Christian, I believe that I am nothing more than animated dust--inspired dust. God has breathed in me, and that is the only reason I am able to breathe.

As a writer, I believe the breath of God is the inspiration behind everything else I do. I can't claim my writing ability as something I conjured up inside myself. In most cases, I can't even claim credit for a story idea. Every book I've written so far has been partly inspired by a literal dream--as in, I'd go to sleep and dream something that I've used as a story idea. A lot of more modernized, good happy little Christians are uncomfortable with the idea of God giving dreams and visions in this day and age. I guess I make people uncomfortable too, because I am okay with the idea of God giving me dreams and visions whenever He wants to.

I'm definitely okay with God breathing in me. He doesn't breathe in me the same way He breathes in others. There are many gifts, but one Giver. Writing isn't the only gift I have, but I can't deny that it's something I only possess because the Lord willed to give it to me.

It's kind of lame, but I first saw this quote on a "Piece of Flair" from that silly Facebook application. The quote reads: "God breathed the breath of life in me. When I write, I exhale." That silly "Piece of Flair" sums me up fairly well.

I also find it interesting that the word "expire" has some different/same definitions. It refers to the act of exhaling, of expelling air from one's lungs. And if one were to fail to breathe in again, that expiration would lead to another definition of expiration--death. At the same time, if someone were to somehow fail to expell air from one's lungs after breathing in, they would also expire. They would cease to live. And figuratively speaking, if we're not breathing as the Lord intended, then we're not really living--we've expired.

God breathed in us so that we would breathe. He inspires us and calls us to expire. We so often get all worked up over purpose and meaning in life. Well, I pretty much know the meaning of life. It's to live. It's to live abundantly to the glory of the One who breathes in us. All of us have different gifts, but we're all pretty much called to do the same things.

We are called to seek God and His Kingdom. We are called to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We are all called to love our neighbor as ourselves. We're called to be peacemakers; we're called to be poor in spirit; we're called to be pure of heart. "He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8. If we're doing those things and trusting the One who gives us breath, the rest is going to fall into place.

But after 30 years of breathing, I think I've finally figured out that God really likes me to exhale His breath through my writing. That's pretty much the purpose of this blog.