My windows are rolled down, as usual, but the air feels different. It doesn't yet feel cool and crisp as it does in the autumn. In fact, the air is still distinctly summerish. But it's different. And I don't realize what it is until I catch the faint smells of chlorine, of steak grilling, of sweat, of freshly cut grass. These are smells of goodbye, smells of people doing last-minute summer activities before autumn comes. This is what is in the air--the difference that I feel. It's not quite summer, not quite fall, but some kind of unnamed season that comes in between the two. It is some kind of unnamed season that blends the two. The wind blows. The trees clap their hands. The world feels alive, yet sleepy, as though it knows a colder, darker time is coming and it must finish its adventures while it still has the vitality to finish them. Then, it can rest.
And I look up into the sky and fall in love with the colors there as they reflect off the clouds. The clouds aren't puffy. They seem to have been stretched out, as if they don't know exactly where they want to be. So they just scatter everywhere, and the light that falls upon them seems cautious, almost afraid, as if its not sure the clouds are really supposed to be there at all, or if its supposed to shine on them. The result is that they kiss the clouds with just the most delicate touch of pale, hauntingly beautiful color.
Blue is my favorite color. I like the blue of the summertime sky when the sun is out and the clouds are full, but my favorite shade of blue doesn't come until the sunset. Here the blue fades into a darker, deeper hue. The daytime blue is rich and alive, but the evening blue seems secretive, as if it is hiding some precious and mysterious knowledge. And once again there is something unnamed. There is no name for the color that occurs when the sunset's orange blends with the evening blue. But I know it must exist, for there is a place where the blue ceases to be blue and becomes orange, and where the orange ceases to be orange and becomes blue. And in that place there is something that is either too faint or too powerful for my eyes to perceive. Still, I try to see it.
I stop at a stoplight and look at the streetlights as they fail in their attempts to shine more brightly than the sunset before me. And I think about how in a few short months, I'll be driving home by their artificial illumination alone. The days will be shorter. The sun will sleep earlier and wake up later. The darkness and the coldness is coming, and maybe there will be a time when autumn will blend with winter into another unnamed season. We'll make that last loaf of pumpkin bread and put away the Indian corn, and we'll pull out the hot cocoa and Christmas decorations. And in that in between time? We will reflect.
I pull into my apartment's small parking lot while some familiar song plays on my car's speakers. I sing along and roll my windows up. I turn off the engine and the song stops, though I keep singing harmony as if the melody is still playing. Then I take in a deep breath of the air in my car that is quickly growing stale. It takes so little time for things to become stale.
And I'm grateful for moments like these, when I see and hear, smell and feel. Life is more than sensations, but they are a big part of the experience of life, as are seasons. Sometimes, there will be stale moments, and sometimes it's even important to walk through those stale moments, clinging to the truths we know even when we are too numb to feel them. But for the most part, life is meant to be lived. And right now, I feel very alive.
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Sunday Update: Now
There's a hilly field that I pass by on my way to and from church. When my preschool job (which is also at my church) starts again, I'll be passing this field several times a week, as I did this past school year. This field is next to a white house, and all of it is enclosed by a brown fence. A chestnut horse often peacefully grazes within my view as I drive past this field. I guess I'll be a Kentucky girl no matter where I live, because I happen to very much like looking at chestnut horses in hilly fields next to white houses, enclosed by brown fences. My parents taught school in a county that was half an hour away from where we lived, and I went to elementary and middle school in the county where my parents taught instead of in the county where I lived. As a result, I spent a great deal of my childhood staring out car windows at Kentucky fields and hills, white houses surrounded by brown fences, horses and cattle grazing on green grass.
It's amazing that I've even paid enough attention to the hilly field I pass several times a week to be able to tell you the color of the house, horse, and fence. Such things should be commonplace to me, and often times they are. There is a difference between Kentucky hills and North Carolina hills, just as there's a difference between Kentucky mountains and North Carolina mountains. But I've spent so much of my life driving past scenic country farmland that I often take all the separate beauty for granted.
But today, on my drive home from church, that field I pass all the time looked different. Thousands and thousands of golden flowers (I think they were golden rods) were scattered across the green. Great purplish bushes contrasted with the gold, causing me to mentally pause (if I had actually paused, the guy riding my bumper would have gladly rear-ended me). I couldn't stay there, but I took a moment to commit that beautiful scene to memory, because the way nature keeps moving and changing, that field of flowers could be gone tomorrow. And something tells me I was meant to see them before they passed away.
Next week, the girls I watch go back to school. I've uploaded all of the pics I took with them this beautiful summer. It has all gone by so quickly, and I'm glad for the memories I've made with them, as well as a bit regretful that I didn't try to make a few more. This time of my life is almost over, and soon I'll just have the girls in the afternoons when they get out of school. I'll be caring for a new classroom of children in my preschool (while saying another sort of goodbye to the ones I cared for last year, who will be across the hall in another classroom, getting loved on by new teachers who aren't me). I'll be developing new relationships through work and church, choir and my running group, and God only knows what else. I'll hopefully be writing/editing/querying again with renewed vigor. And I'm reminded that I am a person who is often resistant to change. But change happens. Nothing can stop it. It's the way life is.
In the past year, God has done a lot in my life. He brought me from a very long (5.5 years!!) season of winter into a season of springtime. I've grown because He's changed me. And since that winter was so long, I guess I expected the spring season to last a long time, too. But the thing about spring is, it never seems to last. There is a tremendous burst of life that all too quickly blossoms into summer, and summer just sort of relaxes into autumn. And everything changes, once more.
There's a line from Shadowlands (one of my favorite movies about the later life of C. S. Lewis) that fits my mood right now. C. S. Lewis was sitting at a desk talking to a friend, and he said, "Give me blizzards and frozen pipes, but not this nothing time. Not this waiting room of the world." He was expressing his thoughts about the change--that transitional period between seasons and stages of life. It was no longer winter, but spring had not yet come, and he felt restless. And part of me has been restless, too.
The winter that I lived in for 5.5 years wasn't all bad, but a lot of the time I just felt like a frozen Narnia waiting for Aslan to come, bringing Christmas and spring in his wake. Now that I've lived in a new and glorious Spiritual spring for a short year, I'm sensing that God's bringing me into another season. Perhaps He's already brought me out of spring and into summer without my knowledge, because I sense that autumn is approaching--both in a literal sense (obviously; there is no stopping the calendar) and a Spiritual sense. I sense a harvest coming. I think the harvest is going to involve many things. Since God has grown me so much in the spring, I expect the harvest is going to be plentiful.
I am almost afraid to hope for it, but I have a strong sense that a lot of the things I've been waiting for for a VERY long time are going to come to fruition. I don't know what that fruition will look like, but right now I am cautiously expectant, waiting (and trusting...always waiting and trusting) for what God's going to bring.
Since I've sensed the end of summer coming upon me, in the past couple of weeks I've checked out tons of books from the library, hoping to read as much as I possibly can before I develop a scheduled routine that makes reading for fun nearly impossible. I've taken a last-minute summer vacation in the only way I can financially afford to take one--by letting my mind enter into stories.
One of the books I've read has just served to reemphasize the idea that things are going to change in my life for the better. And maybe that means that I'm going to have to have a few final struggles before I can experience all the good things that harvest will bring. Because harvesting is a lot of work. It involves sweat and labor, long hours and effort. It involves decisions and discipline, but there's joy in that, too.
And the time will come for that soon. Very soon.
Right now, the harvest still hasn't come. I've still got some books from the library that want to be read. I still have a couple weeks before the preschool job starts. The calendar is moving. The flowers are going through their life cycles. Everything is changing. But now, right now, is a gift from God. There's nothing wrong with remembering; there's nothing wrong with looking expectantly towards the future. These things are very good, but not if they interfere with the joy that's to be experienced in the now. It might be one of those "nothing times" right now, but I don't feel restless anymore.
Sometimes I have to pursue peace, and peace is really something worth pursuing. That's something God has taught me a lot in this past Spring season. But I've learned that sometimes peace has a way of sneaking up on you and taking you by surprise. Right now, peace has surprised me. I'm exceedingly thankful for this time. The golden flowers on the hilly fields, the gently moving clouds in the blue late summer sky, the smells and sights and sounds of the world holding its breath...waiting for what the next season has in store.
This is a good time to be alive.
It's amazing that I've even paid enough attention to the hilly field I pass several times a week to be able to tell you the color of the house, horse, and fence. Such things should be commonplace to me, and often times they are. There is a difference between Kentucky hills and North Carolina hills, just as there's a difference between Kentucky mountains and North Carolina mountains. But I've spent so much of my life driving past scenic country farmland that I often take all the separate beauty for granted.
But today, on my drive home from church, that field I pass all the time looked different. Thousands and thousands of golden flowers (I think they were golden rods) were scattered across the green. Great purplish bushes contrasted with the gold, causing me to mentally pause (if I had actually paused, the guy riding my bumper would have gladly rear-ended me). I couldn't stay there, but I took a moment to commit that beautiful scene to memory, because the way nature keeps moving and changing, that field of flowers could be gone tomorrow. And something tells me I was meant to see them before they passed away.
Next week, the girls I watch go back to school. I've uploaded all of the pics I took with them this beautiful summer. It has all gone by so quickly, and I'm glad for the memories I've made with them, as well as a bit regretful that I didn't try to make a few more. This time of my life is almost over, and soon I'll just have the girls in the afternoons when they get out of school. I'll be caring for a new classroom of children in my preschool (while saying another sort of goodbye to the ones I cared for last year, who will be across the hall in another classroom, getting loved on by new teachers who aren't me). I'll be developing new relationships through work and church, choir and my running group, and God only knows what else. I'll hopefully be writing/editing/querying again with renewed vigor. And I'm reminded that I am a person who is often resistant to change. But change happens. Nothing can stop it. It's the way life is.
In the past year, God has done a lot in my life. He brought me from a very long (5.5 years!!) season of winter into a season of springtime. I've grown because He's changed me. And since that winter was so long, I guess I expected the spring season to last a long time, too. But the thing about spring is, it never seems to last. There is a tremendous burst of life that all too quickly blossoms into summer, and summer just sort of relaxes into autumn. And everything changes, once more.
There's a line from Shadowlands (one of my favorite movies about the later life of C. S. Lewis) that fits my mood right now. C. S. Lewis was sitting at a desk talking to a friend, and he said, "Give me blizzards and frozen pipes, but not this nothing time. Not this waiting room of the world." He was expressing his thoughts about the change--that transitional period between seasons and stages of life. It was no longer winter, but spring had not yet come, and he felt restless. And part of me has been restless, too.
The winter that I lived in for 5.5 years wasn't all bad, but a lot of the time I just felt like a frozen Narnia waiting for Aslan to come, bringing Christmas and spring in his wake. Now that I've lived in a new and glorious Spiritual spring for a short year, I'm sensing that God's bringing me into another season. Perhaps He's already brought me out of spring and into summer without my knowledge, because I sense that autumn is approaching--both in a literal sense (obviously; there is no stopping the calendar) and a Spiritual sense. I sense a harvest coming. I think the harvest is going to involve many things. Since God has grown me so much in the spring, I expect the harvest is going to be plentiful.
I am almost afraid to hope for it, but I have a strong sense that a lot of the things I've been waiting for for a VERY long time are going to come to fruition. I don't know what that fruition will look like, but right now I am cautiously expectant, waiting (and trusting...always waiting and trusting) for what God's going to bring.
Since I've sensed the end of summer coming upon me, in the past couple of weeks I've checked out tons of books from the library, hoping to read as much as I possibly can before I develop a scheduled routine that makes reading for fun nearly impossible. I've taken a last-minute summer vacation in the only way I can financially afford to take one--by letting my mind enter into stories.
One of the books I've read has just served to reemphasize the idea that things are going to change in my life for the better. And maybe that means that I'm going to have to have a few final struggles before I can experience all the good things that harvest will bring. Because harvesting is a lot of work. It involves sweat and labor, long hours and effort. It involves decisions and discipline, but there's joy in that, too.
And the time will come for that soon. Very soon.
Right now, the harvest still hasn't come. I've still got some books from the library that want to be read. I still have a couple weeks before the preschool job starts. The calendar is moving. The flowers are going through their life cycles. Everything is changing. But now, right now, is a gift from God. There's nothing wrong with remembering; there's nothing wrong with looking expectantly towards the future. These things are very good, but not if they interfere with the joy that's to be experienced in the now. It might be one of those "nothing times" right now, but I don't feel restless anymore.
Sometimes I have to pursue peace, and peace is really something worth pursuing. That's something God has taught me a lot in this past Spring season. But I've learned that sometimes peace has a way of sneaking up on you and taking you by surprise. Right now, peace has surprised me. I'm exceedingly thankful for this time. The golden flowers on the hilly fields, the gently moving clouds in the blue late summer sky, the smells and sights and sounds of the world holding its breath...waiting for what the next season has in store.
This is a good time to be alive.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Fun with Planning
Summer has officially begun. The calendar is finally agreeing with the weather--it's felt like summer for WEEKS. It also feels more like summer because the family I nanny for has come back from vacation, and I've begun my full days with them. During the school year, I just watch them two-three afternoons a week. In the summer, I have them two-three days a week--all day long.
It's hard to keep three girls occupied all day long. I know this because I've spent two previous summers telling them to turn off the tv and getting three blank stares. These blank stares seem to communicate "No tv? Seriously? What else is there to do in life?"
Last summer wasn't as bad as the first. The first summer was blah because we didn't do much of anything. Last summer, I remember we went on several "outings" to parks and bowling alleys and free kids' movies--and of course to the pool. I'm hoping we get to do some of those things this summer, too. But I don't want this summer to be made up of outings and television.
So I'm going to do something that's really kind of hard for me. I'm going to attempt to be a planner.
I've noticed recently that I'm the sort of person that's either all or nothing, black or white. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not good at balancing. The reason I've done so well at this weight loss stuff is because I've been a Nazi about it. I can't do the whole moderation thing...which scares me because I'm getting close to the weight I want to be and am eventually going to have to attempt to maintain my weight instead of try to lose it. Something tells me that I'm going to have to learn moderation in that.
It's the same way with pretty much everything in my life. I have to be uber disciplined or not at all. There's no middle ground. And I've realized that if that's the way it is, I'm going to have to start being uber disciplined about the way I spend my summer days with the girls I watch. I've already made up a (somewhat flexible) schedule for days when we don't have "outings" planned. It involves lots of reading and educational workbook activities that are going to keep them from forgetting stuff they learned at school. It involves VERY LITTLE tv. I'm even going to make them write me stories every week and/or do book reports. I'm also going to make them exercise.
They're going to hate me.
...but maybe I am learning balance, just a little...
Because I'm planning lots of fun (non-tv-related) stuff, too. I'm hoping to do some fun crafts and snacks and maybe even some science experiments with the girls. Today, we made root beer floats to celebrate the first full day of summer. I'm hoping to do root beer floats AGAIN, only I want to experiment with different ways of making the floats. For instance, today we made the floats with diet root beer and light ice cream--so the whole float was only about 90 calories. BUT it had artificial sweeteners in the root beer, and I'm trying to cut those out of my diet as much as possible. So I want to figure out a way to make a tasty and low cal root beer float without using artificial sweeteners. I can get sassafras tea concentrate. I can get seltzer. I can get Stevia. I don't know if the girls will like it, but part of what I want to do with this summer is expand their culinary horizons...and if you knew the 12 year old I watch, you'd know that I've got some challenges ahead of me.
Root beer floats are just the beginning. I want to make berry parfaits with them. I want to make smoothies with them (they don't like fruit and veggies, so I'm always trying to sneak them in). I want to make guacamole with them. I want to make California Rolls with them. I want to make fruit kabobs (maybe even with chocolate and marshmallows, if they're lucky) with them. I want to make homemade ice cream and popsicles with them. I want to have a pizza day where we make a healthy fruit pizza, a healthy veggie pizza, and a totally UNhealthy cookie pizza (it's okay sometimes--Cookie Monster told me that a cookie is a sometimes food).
I also want to make picture frame word collages and decorate tote bags and get them to do creative things like design their own fashion magazine covers. I want to do indoor scavenger hunts and make peanut butter playdough. I'm pretty sure that if I searched online, I'd find a lot of other things that all three girls would love to do.
And all of the sudden, I'm not looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, snot. What am I going to do with these girls ALL summer???" I'm looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, sweet! I've got all summer to do a lot of fun things with these fantastic girls!"
So I'm not normally a planner, but I'm thinking that a little planning is going to go a long way this summer. I know I'm going to have to be a little flexible in my plans, and that's going to be hard (moderation isn't my forte, remember?). I also think it's going to be okay. Because there's going to be unpredictable stuff like random trips to the library because the six year old forgot she needed to return her books (and if we go to return books, we're going to be there at least a good half hour while the girls look for more books--which is always cool with me). There's going to be times when outings and activities just happen outside of the schedule I'm wanting to keep. There's probably even going to be some projectile vomiting and/or extreme moping as far as the California Rolls are concerned (I can hear the 12 year old now--"You expect me to eat SEAWEED?!?!"--don't tell her they put seaweed in ice cream sometimes).
But you know, I think this summer is going to be good for me in a lot of ways. I need to learn balance, and I think this is really going to help me. Because honestly, I've tried the uber discipline thing with my writing, and it's just not happening in the midst of all the other things I'm trying to balance. I need to find a way for it to fit in with all the other stuff in my life.
I have a feeling that this autumn is going to bring a lot of good change to my life. Don't ask me why I feel that way, because I can't explain it. I just know that when I have a feeling like this, it's best not to ignore it. But I'm not in any hurry for autumn to come. Right now I'm going to enjoy my summer and all the wonderful things I've planned to do with three of my favorite young ladies.
I just hope at least one of them likes my guacamole....
It's hard to keep three girls occupied all day long. I know this because I've spent two previous summers telling them to turn off the tv and getting three blank stares. These blank stares seem to communicate "No tv? Seriously? What else is there to do in life?"
Last summer wasn't as bad as the first. The first summer was blah because we didn't do much of anything. Last summer, I remember we went on several "outings" to parks and bowling alleys and free kids' movies--and of course to the pool. I'm hoping we get to do some of those things this summer, too. But I don't want this summer to be made up of outings and television.
So I'm going to do something that's really kind of hard for me. I'm going to attempt to be a planner.
I've noticed recently that I'm the sort of person that's either all or nothing, black or white. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not good at balancing. The reason I've done so well at this weight loss stuff is because I've been a Nazi about it. I can't do the whole moderation thing...which scares me because I'm getting close to the weight I want to be and am eventually going to have to attempt to maintain my weight instead of try to lose it. Something tells me that I'm going to have to learn moderation in that.
It's the same way with pretty much everything in my life. I have to be uber disciplined or not at all. There's no middle ground. And I've realized that if that's the way it is, I'm going to have to start being uber disciplined about the way I spend my summer days with the girls I watch. I've already made up a (somewhat flexible) schedule for days when we don't have "outings" planned. It involves lots of reading and educational workbook activities that are going to keep them from forgetting stuff they learned at school. It involves VERY LITTLE tv. I'm even going to make them write me stories every week and/or do book reports. I'm also going to make them exercise.
They're going to hate me.
...but maybe I am learning balance, just a little...
Because I'm planning lots of fun (non-tv-related) stuff, too. I'm hoping to do some fun crafts and snacks and maybe even some science experiments with the girls. Today, we made root beer floats to celebrate the first full day of summer. I'm hoping to do root beer floats AGAIN, only I want to experiment with different ways of making the floats. For instance, today we made the floats with diet root beer and light ice cream--so the whole float was only about 90 calories. BUT it had artificial sweeteners in the root beer, and I'm trying to cut those out of my diet as much as possible. So I want to figure out a way to make a tasty and low cal root beer float without using artificial sweeteners. I can get sassafras tea concentrate. I can get seltzer. I can get Stevia. I don't know if the girls will like it, but part of what I want to do with this summer is expand their culinary horizons...and if you knew the 12 year old I watch, you'd know that I've got some challenges ahead of me.
Root beer floats are just the beginning. I want to make berry parfaits with them. I want to make smoothies with them (they don't like fruit and veggies, so I'm always trying to sneak them in). I want to make guacamole with them. I want to make California Rolls with them. I want to make fruit kabobs (maybe even with chocolate and marshmallows, if they're lucky) with them. I want to make homemade ice cream and popsicles with them. I want to have a pizza day where we make a healthy fruit pizza, a healthy veggie pizza, and a totally UNhealthy cookie pizza (it's okay sometimes--Cookie Monster told me that a cookie is a sometimes food).
I also want to make picture frame word collages and decorate tote bags and get them to do creative things like design their own fashion magazine covers. I want to do indoor scavenger hunts and make peanut butter playdough. I'm pretty sure that if I searched online, I'd find a lot of other things that all three girls would love to do.
And all of the sudden, I'm not looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, snot. What am I going to do with these girls ALL summer???" I'm looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, sweet! I've got all summer to do a lot of fun things with these fantastic girls!"
So I'm not normally a planner, but I'm thinking that a little planning is going to go a long way this summer. I know I'm going to have to be a little flexible in my plans, and that's going to be hard (moderation isn't my forte, remember?). I also think it's going to be okay. Because there's going to be unpredictable stuff like random trips to the library because the six year old forgot she needed to return her books (and if we go to return books, we're going to be there at least a good half hour while the girls look for more books--which is always cool with me). There's going to be times when outings and activities just happen outside of the schedule I'm wanting to keep. There's probably even going to be some projectile vomiting and/or extreme moping as far as the California Rolls are concerned (I can hear the 12 year old now--"You expect me to eat SEAWEED?!?!"--don't tell her they put seaweed in ice cream sometimes).
But you know, I think this summer is going to be good for me in a lot of ways. I need to learn balance, and I think this is really going to help me. Because honestly, I've tried the uber discipline thing with my writing, and it's just not happening in the midst of all the other things I'm trying to balance. I need to find a way for it to fit in with all the other stuff in my life.
I have a feeling that this autumn is going to bring a lot of good change to my life. Don't ask me why I feel that way, because I can't explain it. I just know that when I have a feeling like this, it's best not to ignore it. But I'm not in any hurry for autumn to come. Right now I'm going to enjoy my summer and all the wonderful things I've planned to do with three of my favorite young ladies.
I just hope at least one of them likes my guacamole....
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Summer
Ever since my preschool teacher gig ended the last week of May, I've had a lot of extra time off. Even with two (actually, due to some boring stuff I don't want to go into, it's now officially THREE) other jobs apart from the preschool thing, I can't seem to get enough hours to fully occupy my time. And I know that when schools get out around here, I'm going to have to devote full days instead of full afternoons to my nanny job--but in the meantime, I have a lot more time to do absolutely nothing.
Now, if this time had been handed to me back in January or February, I know exactly what I would do with it. I'd work on writing stuff until my fingers fell off. Since I kind of like my fingers attached to my hands, I guess it's a good thing that I didn't have a lot of free time then.
The thing is, there's something about the summer that makes me feel...well, I can't think of a word for it. Lazy was the first word that came to my mind, but that's not what I'm looking for. I mean, I can be lazy (yesterday was an example of how I can unforgivably waste a lot of time playing computer games when I'm supposed to be working on writing--and I hope never to repeat it--but something tells me I will). But I think a better term to describe how summer makes me feel is...relaxed.
I blame it on the fact that I spent my entire childhood going to school for every season besides summer. When summer came, no more work. I got to sleep in late and watch tv and read books and play outside and go swimming and go on vacation and just do nothing until August. And my parents are teachers, so they had summer off, too. I had no concept of people actually having to WORK in the summer. And I guess even now part of that mentality is still present.
Sometimes I get really worked up and think I have to do a lot of stuff--and work is important. The things I do with the time I've been given are vitally important. But sometimes I start thinking that if I'm not doing this one certain thing (like writing, going to work, etc.), then I'm wasting my time. And summer is a nice reminder that it's okay to relax. It's a reminder I need annually.
Last summer I decided that I was going to try to experience every season instead of just getting through them. With summer, that meant I was going to spend more time doing relaxing things that were still important. I went on daycations to see friends that live a few hours away. I sat out on my front porch with a glass of iced tea--just to listen to the sounds of the crickets. I put on my spf 100 and went to the pool. I made low calorie root beer floats. In the fall, I made a point of actually going to the state fair (since it's so close and I'd NEVER been before--what was I thinking?). I carved a pumpkin. I made a full Thanksgiving dinner (complete with a 13 lb. turkey) just for myself (even though one other person did show up at the last minute). Winter was harder because I'm one of those notorious WINTER HATERS, but even then I tried. I mean, Christmas is easy. It's my favorite season, my favorite day, my favorite favorite favorite. But after Christmas, then comes that two and a half month period where I hate everything...except for hot chocolate (which I couldn't have because I'm dieting, but oh well). But I did a lot of knitting (because that's a winter activity, yo). I got a new coat which helped things a lot--it's always better to brave the cold when looking adorable and fashionable...and because of all the knitting, I also had a lot of cute scarves to wear. Mainly, I kept telling myself that spring would be all the sweeter after I finally got through winter. Then spring came and my heart rejoiced! Life! Flowers! Butterflies! Warmer (but not too warm) weather! Allergies...well, okay, so spring isn't perfect either, but that's what Claritin is for.
So it's summer again (or so the temperatures outside tell me, even if the calendar still says it's spring). And I'm learning (once again) that it's okay to relax. I've had a lot of time off. Some of it I've wasted. Some of it I've spent LIVING. Even if I'm not working or writing, I can still do something important--like go have lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while or having a picnic just because I can.
I really think that one of the reasons God invented summer is to remind us to slow down and take time to relax. I get in such a hurry sometimes to do do do, get done get done get done, be somewhere be somewhere be somewhere that I forget it's important to take time to breathe. God did give us work, but He also gave us rest. And sometimes rest means doing something different from the treadmill/hamster wheel routine. Sometimes it just means taking the time to appreciate life.
So whatever else happens this summer, I plan on really living.
Now, if this time had been handed to me back in January or February, I know exactly what I would do with it. I'd work on writing stuff until my fingers fell off. Since I kind of like my fingers attached to my hands, I guess it's a good thing that I didn't have a lot of free time then.
The thing is, there's something about the summer that makes me feel...well, I can't think of a word for it. Lazy was the first word that came to my mind, but that's not what I'm looking for. I mean, I can be lazy (yesterday was an example of how I can unforgivably waste a lot of time playing computer games when I'm supposed to be working on writing--and I hope never to repeat it--but something tells me I will). But I think a better term to describe how summer makes me feel is...relaxed.
I blame it on the fact that I spent my entire childhood going to school for every season besides summer. When summer came, no more work. I got to sleep in late and watch tv and read books and play outside and go swimming and go on vacation and just do nothing until August. And my parents are teachers, so they had summer off, too. I had no concept of people actually having to WORK in the summer. And I guess even now part of that mentality is still present.
Sometimes I get really worked up and think I have to do a lot of stuff--and work is important. The things I do with the time I've been given are vitally important. But sometimes I start thinking that if I'm not doing this one certain thing (like writing, going to work, etc.), then I'm wasting my time. And summer is a nice reminder that it's okay to relax. It's a reminder I need annually.
Last summer I decided that I was going to try to experience every season instead of just getting through them. With summer, that meant I was going to spend more time doing relaxing things that were still important. I went on daycations to see friends that live a few hours away. I sat out on my front porch with a glass of iced tea--just to listen to the sounds of the crickets. I put on my spf 100 and went to the pool. I made low calorie root beer floats. In the fall, I made a point of actually going to the state fair (since it's so close and I'd NEVER been before--what was I thinking?). I carved a pumpkin. I made a full Thanksgiving dinner (complete with a 13 lb. turkey) just for myself (even though one other person did show up at the last minute). Winter was harder because I'm one of those notorious WINTER HATERS, but even then I tried. I mean, Christmas is easy. It's my favorite season, my favorite day, my favorite favorite favorite. But after Christmas, then comes that two and a half month period where I hate everything...except for hot chocolate (which I couldn't have because I'm dieting, but oh well). But I did a lot of knitting (because that's a winter activity, yo). I got a new coat which helped things a lot--it's always better to brave the cold when looking adorable and fashionable...and because of all the knitting, I also had a lot of cute scarves to wear. Mainly, I kept telling myself that spring would be all the sweeter after I finally got through winter. Then spring came and my heart rejoiced! Life! Flowers! Butterflies! Warmer (but not too warm) weather! Allergies...well, okay, so spring isn't perfect either, but that's what Claritin is for.
So it's summer again (or so the temperatures outside tell me, even if the calendar still says it's spring). And I'm learning (once again) that it's okay to relax. I've had a lot of time off. Some of it I've wasted. Some of it I've spent LIVING. Even if I'm not working or writing, I can still do something important--like go have lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while or having a picnic just because I can.
I really think that one of the reasons God invented summer is to remind us to slow down and take time to relax. I get in such a hurry sometimes to do do do, get done get done get done, be somewhere be somewhere be somewhere that I forget it's important to take time to breathe. God did give us work, but He also gave us rest. And sometimes rest means doing something different from the treadmill/hamster wheel routine. Sometimes it just means taking the time to appreciate life.
So whatever else happens this summer, I plan on really living.
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