I've arrived at that time of the year when I just want to run around in circles screaming, "I NEED A ROUTINE OR I'M GOING TO PUNCH THE CALENDAR IN THE FACE!" I'm well aware of the fact that my calendar doesn't really have a face--well, actually, it does. It has lots of them. It has faces of cute snuggly kitty cats, and I seriously doubt I could ever bring myself to really punch their furry faces, even if they're just printed on shiny paper. Come to think of it, since they are just printed on shiny paper, punching them would not do any good. I'd probably just hurt myself by punching the wall behind their shiny calendar faces, so I'd be left without a routine or a...functional hand. And since I don't have health insurance, punching walls would be a bad idea. I like having functional hands.
But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. At least, I think there is. I'm hoping that I don't get to the light at the end of the tunnel just to find that it's some kind of artificial light inside another even longer tunnel. In less than a month, I'll be on a fairly regular schedule with the majority of my jobs. I'll have to be up and ready at about the same time every morning--with the exception of Saturday, when I get to sleep in a whole hour (or use the extra time to go for a run. I'm trying to make exercise a priority again, because this summer killed all my discipline, or at least knocked it down and stole its lunch money). While I'm greatly looking forward to a routine, I'm hoping that something doesn't happen to mess it all up.
I'm not trying to be a pessimist. It's just that in the past week, I've had scheduling conflicts, and I already know there is another to come One of these days, I might find some way of being in two places at once, but at this stage of my life, I am still unable to break the laws of physics. I have managed to bend them slightly, but that's not going to help me when I'm scheduled to be at two different jobs in two different places at the same time.
So I'm facing a problem where I'm going to have to let someone down, and that just makes me feel irresponsible. And while I'm not sure how this particular sheduling conflict happened, I know there's no one to blame except for myself because I have tried to do too many things at once. I'm just hoping that it's a one time thing, that once all the craziness of starting new schedules dies down into a comfortable routine, I'll be able to handle all of it without having to be two places at once.
But even if all of that works out, I've done some basic budgeting, and I've come to the conclusion that once I do reach the end of this routineless, undisciplined tunnel in which I am currently living, I might find that the light has been shut off. It's hard to imagine that even with working 4 jobs, I"ll be struggling every month to make ends meet, but that's reality. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, but if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a hard core realist. And the reality is, unless I've overlooked something, I'm not gonna have a lot of grocery money in the next few months. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't going to work too well if I can't pay my utility bills. I'm 100% sure it's all going to work out. I'm 100% sure God is going to provide for me in one way or another. There's not even a fraction of a percentage that doesn't know that deep down. I'm just a coward because I don't like having things hard. And it's probably going to be hard because trust is hard, and discipline is hard, but God loves me too much to just make everything easy as I am sometimes dumb enough to ask Him to do for me.
But walking down a tunnel is not easy. Sometimes the tunnel is dark and you can't see anything. So you just have to trust, taking one step at a time, trusting that it's going to lead somewhere good--trusting the One who's guiding, even in the times when you can't sense Him there. Sometimes you can see light at the end, but you don't know if it's the light that means hope and daylight, or if it's the kind of scary unknown light that makes you want to shout out, "NO! Don't go towards the light! DON'T GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!"
Sometimes, I'm really a lot happier in the darkness of my tunnel. It's nice and quiet and safe. It takes guts to walk towards the light, not knowing where it'll lead. I've had a great, restful summer, but the wind is starting to change. I'm no longer feeling restful. I'm feeling restless. There's lots work to be done, and not all of it has to do with the 4+ jobs I'll be juggling. I need to embrace discipline once again--physically and spiritually--even if it means patiently nursing it back to health. I need to dream again and not wallow in self-pity that has little basis in real-life. I need to take a step forward, even if I can't see what's ahead. I'm tired of not doing things just because I don't know how to do them. Sometimes, you just have to do something and see what happens.
I guess that means I'm walking towards the light...as soon as I have time to breathe!!!
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Fun with Planning
Summer has officially begun. The calendar is finally agreeing with the weather--it's felt like summer for WEEKS. It also feels more like summer because the family I nanny for has come back from vacation, and I've begun my full days with them. During the school year, I just watch them two-three afternoons a week. In the summer, I have them two-three days a week--all day long.
It's hard to keep three girls occupied all day long. I know this because I've spent two previous summers telling them to turn off the tv and getting three blank stares. These blank stares seem to communicate "No tv? Seriously? What else is there to do in life?"
Last summer wasn't as bad as the first. The first summer was blah because we didn't do much of anything. Last summer, I remember we went on several "outings" to parks and bowling alleys and free kids' movies--and of course to the pool. I'm hoping we get to do some of those things this summer, too. But I don't want this summer to be made up of outings and television.
So I'm going to do something that's really kind of hard for me. I'm going to attempt to be a planner.
I've noticed recently that I'm the sort of person that's either all or nothing, black or white. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not good at balancing. The reason I've done so well at this weight loss stuff is because I've been a Nazi about it. I can't do the whole moderation thing...which scares me because I'm getting close to the weight I want to be and am eventually going to have to attempt to maintain my weight instead of try to lose it. Something tells me that I'm going to have to learn moderation in that.
It's the same way with pretty much everything in my life. I have to be uber disciplined or not at all. There's no middle ground. And I've realized that if that's the way it is, I'm going to have to start being uber disciplined about the way I spend my summer days with the girls I watch. I've already made up a (somewhat flexible) schedule for days when we don't have "outings" planned. It involves lots of reading and educational workbook activities that are going to keep them from forgetting stuff they learned at school. It involves VERY LITTLE tv. I'm even going to make them write me stories every week and/or do book reports. I'm also going to make them exercise.
They're going to hate me.
...but maybe I am learning balance, just a little...
Because I'm planning lots of fun (non-tv-related) stuff, too. I'm hoping to do some fun crafts and snacks and maybe even some science experiments with the girls. Today, we made root beer floats to celebrate the first full day of summer. I'm hoping to do root beer floats AGAIN, only I want to experiment with different ways of making the floats. For instance, today we made the floats with diet root beer and light ice cream--so the whole float was only about 90 calories. BUT it had artificial sweeteners in the root beer, and I'm trying to cut those out of my diet as much as possible. So I want to figure out a way to make a tasty and low cal root beer float without using artificial sweeteners. I can get sassafras tea concentrate. I can get seltzer. I can get Stevia. I don't know if the girls will like it, but part of what I want to do with this summer is expand their culinary horizons...and if you knew the 12 year old I watch, you'd know that I've got some challenges ahead of me.
Root beer floats are just the beginning. I want to make berry parfaits with them. I want to make smoothies with them (they don't like fruit and veggies, so I'm always trying to sneak them in). I want to make guacamole with them. I want to make California Rolls with them. I want to make fruit kabobs (maybe even with chocolate and marshmallows, if they're lucky) with them. I want to make homemade ice cream and popsicles with them. I want to have a pizza day where we make a healthy fruit pizza, a healthy veggie pizza, and a totally UNhealthy cookie pizza (it's okay sometimes--Cookie Monster told me that a cookie is a sometimes food).
I also want to make picture frame word collages and decorate tote bags and get them to do creative things like design their own fashion magazine covers. I want to do indoor scavenger hunts and make peanut butter playdough. I'm pretty sure that if I searched online, I'd find a lot of other things that all three girls would love to do.
And all of the sudden, I'm not looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, snot. What am I going to do with these girls ALL summer???" I'm looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, sweet! I've got all summer to do a lot of fun things with these fantastic girls!"
So I'm not normally a planner, but I'm thinking that a little planning is going to go a long way this summer. I know I'm going to have to be a little flexible in my plans, and that's going to be hard (moderation isn't my forte, remember?). I also think it's going to be okay. Because there's going to be unpredictable stuff like random trips to the library because the six year old forgot she needed to return her books (and if we go to return books, we're going to be there at least a good half hour while the girls look for more books--which is always cool with me). There's going to be times when outings and activities just happen outside of the schedule I'm wanting to keep. There's probably even going to be some projectile vomiting and/or extreme moping as far as the California Rolls are concerned (I can hear the 12 year old now--"You expect me to eat SEAWEED?!?!"--don't tell her they put seaweed in ice cream sometimes).
But you know, I think this summer is going to be good for me in a lot of ways. I need to learn balance, and I think this is really going to help me. Because honestly, I've tried the uber discipline thing with my writing, and it's just not happening in the midst of all the other things I'm trying to balance. I need to find a way for it to fit in with all the other stuff in my life.
I have a feeling that this autumn is going to bring a lot of good change to my life. Don't ask me why I feel that way, because I can't explain it. I just know that when I have a feeling like this, it's best not to ignore it. But I'm not in any hurry for autumn to come. Right now I'm going to enjoy my summer and all the wonderful things I've planned to do with three of my favorite young ladies.
I just hope at least one of them likes my guacamole....
It's hard to keep three girls occupied all day long. I know this because I've spent two previous summers telling them to turn off the tv and getting three blank stares. These blank stares seem to communicate "No tv? Seriously? What else is there to do in life?"
Last summer wasn't as bad as the first. The first summer was blah because we didn't do much of anything. Last summer, I remember we went on several "outings" to parks and bowling alleys and free kids' movies--and of course to the pool. I'm hoping we get to do some of those things this summer, too. But I don't want this summer to be made up of outings and television.
So I'm going to do something that's really kind of hard for me. I'm going to attempt to be a planner.
I've noticed recently that I'm the sort of person that's either all or nothing, black or white. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not good at balancing. The reason I've done so well at this weight loss stuff is because I've been a Nazi about it. I can't do the whole moderation thing...which scares me because I'm getting close to the weight I want to be and am eventually going to have to attempt to maintain my weight instead of try to lose it. Something tells me that I'm going to have to learn moderation in that.
It's the same way with pretty much everything in my life. I have to be uber disciplined or not at all. There's no middle ground. And I've realized that if that's the way it is, I'm going to have to start being uber disciplined about the way I spend my summer days with the girls I watch. I've already made up a (somewhat flexible) schedule for days when we don't have "outings" planned. It involves lots of reading and educational workbook activities that are going to keep them from forgetting stuff they learned at school. It involves VERY LITTLE tv. I'm even going to make them write me stories every week and/or do book reports. I'm also going to make them exercise.
They're going to hate me.
...but maybe I am learning balance, just a little...
Because I'm planning lots of fun (non-tv-related) stuff, too. I'm hoping to do some fun crafts and snacks and maybe even some science experiments with the girls. Today, we made root beer floats to celebrate the first full day of summer. I'm hoping to do root beer floats AGAIN, only I want to experiment with different ways of making the floats. For instance, today we made the floats with diet root beer and light ice cream--so the whole float was only about 90 calories. BUT it had artificial sweeteners in the root beer, and I'm trying to cut those out of my diet as much as possible. So I want to figure out a way to make a tasty and low cal root beer float without using artificial sweeteners. I can get sassafras tea concentrate. I can get seltzer. I can get Stevia. I don't know if the girls will like it, but part of what I want to do with this summer is expand their culinary horizons...and if you knew the 12 year old I watch, you'd know that I've got some challenges ahead of me.
Root beer floats are just the beginning. I want to make berry parfaits with them. I want to make smoothies with them (they don't like fruit and veggies, so I'm always trying to sneak them in). I want to make guacamole with them. I want to make California Rolls with them. I want to make fruit kabobs (maybe even with chocolate and marshmallows, if they're lucky) with them. I want to make homemade ice cream and popsicles with them. I want to have a pizza day where we make a healthy fruit pizza, a healthy veggie pizza, and a totally UNhealthy cookie pizza (it's okay sometimes--Cookie Monster told me that a cookie is a sometimes food).
I also want to make picture frame word collages and decorate tote bags and get them to do creative things like design their own fashion magazine covers. I want to do indoor scavenger hunts and make peanut butter playdough. I'm pretty sure that if I searched online, I'd find a lot of other things that all three girls would love to do.
And all of the sudden, I'm not looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, snot. What am I going to do with these girls ALL summer???" I'm looking at this summer thinking, "Oh, sweet! I've got all summer to do a lot of fun things with these fantastic girls!"
So I'm not normally a planner, but I'm thinking that a little planning is going to go a long way this summer. I know I'm going to have to be a little flexible in my plans, and that's going to be hard (moderation isn't my forte, remember?). I also think it's going to be okay. Because there's going to be unpredictable stuff like random trips to the library because the six year old forgot she needed to return her books (and if we go to return books, we're going to be there at least a good half hour while the girls look for more books--which is always cool with me). There's going to be times when outings and activities just happen outside of the schedule I'm wanting to keep. There's probably even going to be some projectile vomiting and/or extreme moping as far as the California Rolls are concerned (I can hear the 12 year old now--"You expect me to eat SEAWEED?!?!"--don't tell her they put seaweed in ice cream sometimes).
But you know, I think this summer is going to be good for me in a lot of ways. I need to learn balance, and I think this is really going to help me. Because honestly, I've tried the uber discipline thing with my writing, and it's just not happening in the midst of all the other things I'm trying to balance. I need to find a way for it to fit in with all the other stuff in my life.
I have a feeling that this autumn is going to bring a lot of good change to my life. Don't ask me why I feel that way, because I can't explain it. I just know that when I have a feeling like this, it's best not to ignore it. But I'm not in any hurry for autumn to come. Right now I'm going to enjoy my summer and all the wonderful things I've planned to do with three of my favorite young ladies.
I just hope at least one of them likes my guacamole....
Sunday, May 29, 2011
SEW Sunday: Boot Camp
(SEW Sundays are where I rant about discuss what's going on with the queries I am SENDING to agents, my EDITING, and my WRITING.)
Okay, so here's the thing. I don't have much of anything going on. I keep saying I'm going to do stuff, but the week goes by and I haven't done much. I do have excuses as usual--such as the fact that I was insanely busy working my last week of working preschool, only to jump into house/dog/cat sitting and working my other two jobs.
And since I'm house/dog/cat sitting, I have access to more than seven channels on tv, so I've logged a few hours watching reruns of House and watching dumb movies. I even caught an episode of "Saved By the Bell: The College Years" which is arguably the worst show ever made. Okay, so I'm pretty sure that award actually goes to "Yo Gabba Gabba." ...or "The Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills" (I promise that's a real show--it's too horrible to be something I just made up).
So yeah. I'm a loser who has nothing to show for herself this week.
OH WAIT! I did write two songs. Complete with music. Yay me (not really)! One of them I think is probably the best song I've ever written--but by next week I'll probably find something I hate about it. I mean, that's usually how it goes.
Also, with this week being so weird and stuff, I've let my diet/exercise slip completely. I had a minor injury to my back on Monday (leaning over to pick up a toy...I'm like an old person), so exercise has been out. And I wanted to eat pasta and cake and ice cream...and pretty much everything else in sight. So I did. And my pants are very snug now...
Boot camp starts tomorrow...theoretically. Boot camp will hopefully include a return to a regular exercise routine with lots of sweaty running (I'm SO excited the weather forecast is calling for temps in the mid 90's...ugh). It will also hopefully include a return to a strict 1200 calories per day diet. It will hopefully also include some actual DISCIPLINE in my writing life. I have got to send out some queries. I mean, it's kind of hard to find a literary agent if you're not sending them anything to let them know you exist. I also need to get some guts and make some progress with this song project--at least I think I do. If I keep writing new songs like this, I might need to make plans for TWO upcoming cds....
Hmm...either way, I will eventually need some guts. Do they sell those at Wal-mart?
So pray for me as I try to get my act together. The Ruth version of boot camp is not like real boot camp (my version includes LOTS more procrastination, whining, and general lameness), but I'm still pretty sure I'm not going to like it a whole lot.
Okay, so here's the thing. I don't have much of anything going on. I keep saying I'm going to do stuff, but the week goes by and I haven't done much. I do have excuses as usual--such as the fact that I was insanely busy working my last week of working preschool, only to jump into house/dog/cat sitting and working my other two jobs.
And since I'm house/dog/cat sitting, I have access to more than seven channels on tv, so I've logged a few hours watching reruns of House and watching dumb movies. I even caught an episode of "Saved By the Bell: The College Years" which is arguably the worst show ever made. Okay, so I'm pretty sure that award actually goes to "Yo Gabba Gabba." ...or "The Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills" (I promise that's a real show--it's too horrible to be something I just made up).
So yeah. I'm a loser who has nothing to show for herself this week.
OH WAIT! I did write two songs. Complete with music. Yay me (not really)! One of them I think is probably the best song I've ever written--but by next week I'll probably find something I hate about it. I mean, that's usually how it goes.
Also, with this week being so weird and stuff, I've let my diet/exercise slip completely. I had a minor injury to my back on Monday (leaning over to pick up a toy...I'm like an old person), so exercise has been out. And I wanted to eat pasta and cake and ice cream...and pretty much everything else in sight. So I did. And my pants are very snug now...
Boot camp starts tomorrow...theoretically. Boot camp will hopefully include a return to a regular exercise routine with lots of sweaty running (I'm SO excited the weather forecast is calling for temps in the mid 90's...ugh). It will also hopefully include a return to a strict 1200 calories per day diet. It will hopefully also include some actual DISCIPLINE in my writing life. I have got to send out some queries. I mean, it's kind of hard to find a literary agent if you're not sending them anything to let them know you exist. I also need to get some guts and make some progress with this song project--at least I think I do. If I keep writing new songs like this, I might need to make plans for TWO upcoming cds....
Hmm...either way, I will eventually need some guts. Do they sell those at Wal-mart?
So pray for me as I try to get my act together. The Ruth version of boot camp is not like real boot camp (my version includes LOTS more procrastination, whining, and general lameness), but I'm still pretty sure I'm not going to like it a whole lot.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Structure
I've been reading a lot of real blogs lately. Do you know what real blogs have that my blog doesn't have? Structure.
I'm usually not the sort of person who just follows the crowd or does things because everyone else is doing them. In fact, I'm often the sort of person who rebels against the norm just because I don't like the idea of doing things the way everyone else does them. But I'm learning more and more that if I'm going to make it in the writing industry, I'm going to have to follow the rules. If I were this great revolutionary writer, that would be one thing. I just don't think I'm fantastical enough of a writer to take the publishing industry by storm...and even if I were that talented, I'm not that spirited. So there you have it.
I don't really claim that this blog is a real blog, but let's pretend it is. What do real bloggers do? They add structure to their blogs. How do they do this? By blogging at the same time (or at least on the same day) as they did the week before. By blogging about certain topics or ideas on certain days.
I think it's clear that discipline is NOT my strong point, but I'm going to try this for a while. I might fail and have to try again, or I might just decide to scrap the whole idea. But I'm going to try to add a little more structure to this blog.
I am not going to blog here every day. That's just too much for me, and honestly, I would like spend some more time on my other blog which is hilarious and good, if I do say so myself...and I do. My Dragon-Muses would also like me to continue to help them type out their blogs (most of them don't have keyboard friendly talons). So, I'm thinking right now that I need to do about three blogs a week for this particular blog.
I want to write a blog every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday, and all with themes. I might add another day later, but we'll see how it goes.
Sundays, I plan to give an update of what's going on in my writing world (and maybe in the rest of my world). I've been doing okayish on my writing lately, but I could do better. I could DEFINITELY do better on my querying and editing. My friend Desiree (who is amazing), has been encouraging me in all my writing efforts. She suggested the term SEW. Sending queries, Editing, and Writing. So my Sunday blogs will be SEW Sundays, you dig?
On Wednesday, I just plan on writing a blog as usual. Whatever Wednesday. It's not that clever of a title, so maybe I'll go with Writing Wednesday, but that's not that clever either. We'll see which one I go with...or if I go with something completely different...
On Friday, I plan on writing something about my favorite works of fiction, fictional characters, fiction writers, etc. Fiction Fridays. I might even start doing book reviews, but I don't really know if I know how to do that. We'll see where it goes, or even if I have the discipline to keep up with it.
So that's what I'm planning right now. I'd also like to ask if you have any suggestions. Is there anything specific you'd like to see me write about? Are there any other clever names that utilize alliteration with the days of the week? I'm trying to make this blog into a real blog--or at least pretend to. Let me know what you think!
I'm usually not the sort of person who just follows the crowd or does things because everyone else is doing them. In fact, I'm often the sort of person who rebels against the norm just because I don't like the idea of doing things the way everyone else does them. But I'm learning more and more that if I'm going to make it in the writing industry, I'm going to have to follow the rules. If I were this great revolutionary writer, that would be one thing. I just don't think I'm fantastical enough of a writer to take the publishing industry by storm...and even if I were that talented, I'm not that spirited. So there you have it.
I don't really claim that this blog is a real blog, but let's pretend it is. What do real bloggers do? They add structure to their blogs. How do they do this? By blogging at the same time (or at least on the same day) as they did the week before. By blogging about certain topics or ideas on certain days.
I think it's clear that discipline is NOT my strong point, but I'm going to try this for a while. I might fail and have to try again, or I might just decide to scrap the whole idea. But I'm going to try to add a little more structure to this blog.
I am not going to blog here every day. That's just too much for me, and honestly, I would like spend some more time on my other blog which is hilarious and good, if I do say so myself...and I do. My Dragon-Muses would also like me to continue to help them type out their blogs (most of them don't have keyboard friendly talons). So, I'm thinking right now that I need to do about three blogs a week for this particular blog.
I want to write a blog every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday, and all with themes. I might add another day later, but we'll see how it goes.
Sundays, I plan to give an update of what's going on in my writing world (and maybe in the rest of my world). I've been doing okayish on my writing lately, but I could do better. I could DEFINITELY do better on my querying and editing. My friend Desiree (who is amazing), has been encouraging me in all my writing efforts. She suggested the term SEW. Sending queries, Editing, and Writing. So my Sunday blogs will be SEW Sundays, you dig?
On Wednesday, I just plan on writing a blog as usual. Whatever Wednesday. It's not that clever of a title, so maybe I'll go with Writing Wednesday, but that's not that clever either. We'll see which one I go with...or if I go with something completely different...
On Friday, I plan on writing something about my favorite works of fiction, fictional characters, fiction writers, etc. Fiction Fridays. I might even start doing book reviews, but I don't really know if I know how to do that. We'll see where it goes, or even if I have the discipline to keep up with it.
So that's what I'm planning right now. I'd also like to ask if you have any suggestions. Is there anything specific you'd like to see me write about? Are there any other clever names that utilize alliteration with the days of the week? I'm trying to make this blog into a real blog--or at least pretend to. Let me know what you think!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Out of my Mind
My mind is a pretty frightening place. I spend a lot of time there. It's practically unavoidable. I mean, I have to spend twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with myself. It's not easy.
Lately, however, I've realized that I need to get away from myself occasionally. I've been trying to discipline myself as a writer, but, as I often do, I've put the cart before the horse. I can be disciplined as a writer, but I become unbalanced in other areas if I don't first try to be disciplined in more important things.
In this past year, I've completed one book that I started last year, finished the editing on another book that I started nine years ago *hides head in shame*, and somehow managed to begin and complete another book (in the period of slightly less than two weeks--an act of God, no doubt). I'm still doing some editing and writing. I'm attempting this query letter thing. I've been fairly disciplined in the writing stuff. I've also been disciplined in my diet/exercise and have consequently lost about 40 pounds since January of this year. I guess the world would look at me and say, "She's not doing too badly in the discipline department."
The thing is, I've not been disciplined in prayer or reading my Bible. As a Christian, these should be the most important disciplines in my life. The Lord has been gracious in dropping Spiritual crumbs to me, but there's a whole banquet that He's set out for me. I've just been too lazy to get up off the floor and eat.
For the past couple of weeks, I've tried to get into the habit of waking up a good hour earlier than usual for the sole purpose of spending time with God. One of the many positive results of this is that the Lord is showing me that I am far too self-focused. I'm an introspective person, which is good, because, well, I'm a writer. But spending too much time with oneself can lead to false perceptions.
The longer I look in the mirror, the more obsessed I come with my own reflection. The longer I look in the mirror, the longer I believe I'm something good. If all I do is glance at others, I fail to see their beauty. I become judgmental of their flaws, forgetting I have a fair few of my own.
As it relates to writing, sometimes I spend so much time reading and rereading what I've written that I absolutely fall in love with it. I lose all objectivity, because I forget there's anything out there besides the words that have come from my own brain.
This week, I've neglected the novel I've been editing. I've put aside any story ideas that want to pop up in my brain while I'm supposed to be doing something else. I've stopped obsessing about the characters in my stories. I'll get back to them eventually. For now, I'm reading other authors' writing. I am about to finish reading one novel and about to start another. And I'll probably read a few more before I'm finally ready to return to my own stories and my own brain.
And I'm not sure what I'll come back to when I finally do return. Maybe I'll come to find some minor flaws in my writing that I didn't see before. Maybe I'll realize my stories really are as good as thought they were (or--dare I think it--even better than I believed). Maybe I'll realize that there's a reason I keep getting rejections--that my writing sucks and I had better take up yodeling (or continue hold out hope for my crappy writing anyway, because, after all, Twilight got published--and did well).
Whatever happens, I'm grateful for the time that I'm spending out of my mind. I LOVE reading (I'd forgotten how much), and this is a great opportunity to get into some great literature.
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