Phew! Last week was busy. I had my first day off in two weeks yesterday, and it was MARVELOUS!
Things I accomplished last week:
--Finished reading a book (second read-through) AND wrote a review on it.
--Successfully began my diet/exercise regimen, restricting extra calories so I'd get a good start on things. I think I went a little too low on calorie intake this week. I lost about 5 pounds, which is too much, even for the first week. So that means I get to eat more! Hooray food! I also hurt my ankle (just a little) while running (it was just really sore/achy). I badly sprained that ankle about 8 years ago, and apparently my ankle is now a pansy.
--I started and finished knitting a scarf for "The Princess" (7 yr old I watch), who requested a "purple, yellow, red, green, and blue" scarf. I asked her if she wanted a rainbow scarf. She said, "Yes. So NO pink, because pink isn't in the rainbow." So I found some rainbow yarn (w/out pink) and made a scarf.
--I made a spreadsheet that will hopefully help me keep up with my writing and editing, as well as my efforts towards getting published. I'm not sure this spreadsheet is the best format, but it's a work in progress.
--I kinda sorta cleaned my room, but not really. I utilized the "shove everything under the bed" method.
Things I want to try to accomplish this week:
--I plan to contact a couple people about the website I'm working on. I need their help if it's going to happen, so I've got to be proactive about talking to them.
--I plan to contact someone about recording a music project--and will hopefully set a time when I can actually get something recorded. I need a deadline to work towards!
--I plan on completing the second read-through of one of my friend's books.
--I plan on starting another scarf for "The Diva" (the 10 year old). She has requested light blue and yellow.
--I plan on beginning the tedious process of editing my second novel.
--I plan on continuing the diet/exercise plan, making adjustments as needed. My ultimate goals in dieting this year are first to get back to the weight I was before I started gaining again, AND to learn how to maintain that weight. I'm trying to determine an average of how many calories I burn each week, and compare that with the average calories I eat in a week. These numbers need to be pretty close, because I'm tired of the dieting yo-yo.
--I plan on going to one of those running stores that measures you for shoes and evaluates your running style to see what kind of extra support you need. My old shoes are cheap and just aren't cutting it. That might be one of the reasons my ankle keeps being a pansy. If I'm going to run a half marathon this year, I'm going to have to start taking better care of my feet. Can't have my ankle pansying out on me around mile 12....
So, with the things I want to accomplish, I realize that sometimes things just don't go as planned. There are going to be things that happen this week that I don't expect, for which I can't plan. There are going to be interruptions and things that deter me from completing my tasks. I just want to have a written guideline of things I hope to accomplish (all the while keeping in mind that my true Hope is in God). I also hope that posting them in a blog helps me feel a little more accountable to someone. I don't think I'm going to accomplish all my weekly goals EVERY week, but I'm going to put forth an honest effort. It's just that God's often got His own agenda with what He wants to do with my life, so I've got to keep an open mind about what I do with my time. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to be more flexible. (Good luck with THAT, Ruth. Stop talking to yourself in your blog, Ruth.)
What are some of your goals, dreams, plans, hopes for 2012?
Happy Monday, and may your ankles be strong.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Book Review of "The Land of Darkness" by C. S. Lakin
The Land of Darkness is the third book in The Gates of Heaven series by C. S. Lakin. Each book in this series centers around different characters, so each book can stand alone as its own story.
The Land of Darkness is a fairy tale/fantasy, which focuses on two main characters: Jadiel and Callen.
Jadiel is a 12 year old girl who is at the mercy of her wicked and vain stepmother, Huldah. Huldah threatens to kill Jadiel's father (whom she has enchanted with her false beauty) unless Jadiel is able to find the leaves of the Terebinth Tree, which are fabled to bring eternal life and beauty to the one who chews them.
Callen is the 31 year old woodcarving apprentice of Jadiel's uncle. Stirred by drawings of a beautiful suspension bridge, Callen embarks on a quest to find this bridge. Along the way, he encounters Jadiel, and they find that their quests are connected. With the help of a strange, scarred man named Ebed, they find the Land of Darkness, through which they must pass before finding what they seek.
While this story was a little difficult for me to "get into," I immensely enjoyed the fairy tale elements found near the beginning. It was hard to mistake the fun traditional fairy tale aspects, such as the talking hoptoad, Jadiel's magical mirror and flute, and of course, the wicked stepmother (and her "Snow White" style magic mirror) and stepsisters. I think these simple touches added to the fairy tale feel, although I'm not sure that all these elements were necessary, and I would have preferred for the main action of the story to begin a little sooner.
Scripture and allegory were woven throughout this story as Jadiel and Callen followed the clues to the end of their quests. While some of the allegory wasn't obvious, most of it was easy to understand. Obvious allegory isn't what I usually prefer, but Lakin balanced it with enough mystery to keep me reading. I especially appreciated the use of parable in the story, and how Lakin connected it to other passages of Scripture in ways that I had never thought of before. I also enjoyed the idea of the healing Terebinth tree, and was pleasantly reminded of the magical healing apple from C. S. Lewis' The Magician's Nephew.
The characters, for the most part, were well thought out and believable. Jadiel's character seemed to represent childlike faith, while Callen was more of a "doubting Thomas." I didn't catch on to Callen's doubt until I was well into the middle of the book. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. Jadiel's childlike love and faith were evident from the beginning. I loved the character of Ebed and all that he represented in the story.
As I said, this book was difficult for me to get into, but the plot was well-thought out, the characters believable, and the allegory unmistakable. This is a fanciful story which alludes heavily to the greatest story of all--God's redemption of mankind. I would recommend it to older children, teenagers, and those remarkable adults who, like me, have never outgrown a good fairy tale.
This book was provided by review by AMG Publishers.
The Land of Darkness is a fairy tale/fantasy, which focuses on two main characters: Jadiel and Callen.
Jadiel is a 12 year old girl who is at the mercy of her wicked and vain stepmother, Huldah. Huldah threatens to kill Jadiel's father (whom she has enchanted with her false beauty) unless Jadiel is able to find the leaves of the Terebinth Tree, which are fabled to bring eternal life and beauty to the one who chews them.
Callen is the 31 year old woodcarving apprentice of Jadiel's uncle. Stirred by drawings of a beautiful suspension bridge, Callen embarks on a quest to find this bridge. Along the way, he encounters Jadiel, and they find that their quests are connected. With the help of a strange, scarred man named Ebed, they find the Land of Darkness, through which they must pass before finding what they seek.
While this story was a little difficult for me to "get into," I immensely enjoyed the fairy tale elements found near the beginning. It was hard to mistake the fun traditional fairy tale aspects, such as the talking hoptoad, Jadiel's magical mirror and flute, and of course, the wicked stepmother (and her "Snow White" style magic mirror) and stepsisters. I think these simple touches added to the fairy tale feel, although I'm not sure that all these elements were necessary, and I would have preferred for the main action of the story to begin a little sooner.
Scripture and allegory were woven throughout this story as Jadiel and Callen followed the clues to the end of their quests. While some of the allegory wasn't obvious, most of it was easy to understand. Obvious allegory isn't what I usually prefer, but Lakin balanced it with enough mystery to keep me reading. I especially appreciated the use of parable in the story, and how Lakin connected it to other passages of Scripture in ways that I had never thought of before. I also enjoyed the idea of the healing Terebinth tree, and was pleasantly reminded of the magical healing apple from C. S. Lewis' The Magician's Nephew.
The characters, for the most part, were well thought out and believable. Jadiel's character seemed to represent childlike faith, while Callen was more of a "doubting Thomas." I didn't catch on to Callen's doubt until I was well into the middle of the book. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. Jadiel's childlike love and faith were evident from the beginning. I loved the character of Ebed and all that he represented in the story.
As I said, this book was difficult for me to get into, but the plot was well-thought out, the characters believable, and the allegory unmistakable. This is a fanciful story which alludes heavily to the greatest story of all--God's redemption of mankind. I would recommend it to older children, teenagers, and those remarkable adults who, like me, have never outgrown a good fairy tale.
This book was provided by review by AMG Publishers.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Gifts From the Lord
Warning: I get honest in this one. You've been warned.
It was probably a little over a year ago that I saw several moms from my church post the same thing on their facebook statuses. "Children are a gift from the Lord." They were all posting this because that was the topic of the recent MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. As a woman without any kids, my knee-jerk reaction was to sarcastically think, "Oh, so God doesn't give gifts to single, childless people?" This reaction didn't last more than a few seconds, because I realized that children aren't the only gift from the Lord, and that the people at that MOPS meeting were all moms who needed that encouragement. And I much later realized that they were quoting a specific Scripture passage:
"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." -Psalm 127:3
I like that verse. I think it's true. And if it is, then I'm a pretty gifted person.
I'm single and childless, and lately I've been thinking a lot about that, but not in a sad way. It's just been something I've been thinking about. For one thing, I'm still working on starting this website/blog on singlehood and Church unity. I've also been up to my armpits in other people's kids. Oh, and I had TWO dreams in ONE night that I had gotten married--in each dream it was to a different guy. One of my "dream husbands" (and I use that phrase loosely, because he was NOT the man of my dreams at all) had a last name that had a lot of syllables and silent letters, like Crickenquallabonutickleishon or something, only it sounded different than it looked. So the joke in the dream was that I couldn't pronounce my own last name. I laughed and woke myself up, which happens to me fairly often. My dreams are hilarious.
Anyway, with all this thinking about kids and singlehood, I guess it's easy to feel depressed. Only, I'm not depressed. The way I see it, I have it pretty good.
Without getting into details (I don't mind sharing my stories, but when they involve others, they're also other people's stories), I got my heart broken when I was in my mid-20s. We're not talking a little crush heartbreak. We're talking, "So, I was kind of hoping to spend the rest of my life with you, and now I can't because you don't like me anymore" heartbreak. And that took me several years to get over, at least as much over it as I'm going to get. I say this because I want people to understand where I'm coming from. I've had some people assume that after getting hurt once, I'm too angry/hurt/bitter/etc. to consider dating again. That's not the case. I have considered dating again, but it's just not a priority. Bottom line: I haven't been asked out once since that break-up, which was almost seven years ago. In fact, I haven't even been interested in anyone. And that doesn't bother me. I actually kind of prefer it that way, because if it's not something God really wants for me, then I don't want any part of it. If God wants me in a relationship, He's going to have to clearly be in the midst of it. If He doesn't want me in a relationship, then there's no reason to strive for one. I'm not afraid of getting hurt again so much as I'm afraid of hurting someone else by being in a relationship that I'm just not supposed to be in. So...I'm cool. More than cool, really.
And God's allowed me to have some conversations with some neighbors and friends recently, people I would never have imagined myself talking to. I have had conversations with people who have been through difficult divorces, some of them involving kids (which takes divorce to a whole different level--you're not just considering your wants/needs, but the kids' wants/needs as well), and all of them involving deep heartache and pain. The pain I went through is just not comparable. I hurt. I hurt for years. I still hurt, but it doesn't affect my daily life at all. Divorce is something that sticks with you. Aside from the emotional turmoil, there's judgmentalism from others, there's legal stuff, there's probably a lot more hurt feelings, feelings of failure, etc. I understand some of these things, but only to a point, because really, my heartbreak wasn't as deep. And I definitely don't understand the wisdom it takes to deal with divorce and kids. A lot of these single parents I know AMAZE me. I don't know how they do it, but I guess when you've just got to do something, you somehow find the courage/grace/strength to do it (AKA God enables you). At least in my own less-difficult experiences, that has been true.
So basically, the Lord allowed me to love this guy, and having the grace to love someone is always a gift. I'm extremely grateful to have been granted that beautiful knowledge. When that relationship ended, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been (that would have been hard to believe at the time, but I certainly believe it now). True, it would have been less painful if it hadn't ended at all--or so I think. I'm finding out that I don't know as much as I think I do, so now when I pray for things I want, I usually say, "But you know better than I do, Lord. Give me what I need and what glorifies you best."
Yeah, when I was eighteen, I prayed for two things: to marry a minister and to have a LOT of kids. Looking back, I'm glad God didn't say "yes" to that first prayer. Why? Because I would make a dreadful minister's wife. It's not that I think minister's wives are extra Spiritual or something, or that I don't make some kind of "holier than thou" cut. Minster's wives are just women--amazing, lovely women. It's just that most of them have to have a certain level of tact that I do not even come close to possessing. I'm honest to a fault. I say the first thing that comes into my head, and then spend several minutes trying to get my foot out of my mouth. Being a minister's wife? Not for me.
And yeah, being single has it's perks. I go to sleep at night when I want to. The only time I'm woken up by snoring is if I'm the one snoring (that happens too sometimes--either because my dreams are so hilarious that I snort-laugh, or because my dreams are so bad that they bore me into snoring. I like to be entertained when I sleep). I have my own space, my own stuff to deal with. I'm not consistently, totally responsible to another person. Sometimes it might be nice to have the constant companionship, another person to be there to help me feel loved--but I have so many friends that I don't feel slighted. Don't take this the wrong way, but other than the no sex thing, being single isn't so bad. And even though I'm pretty sure I have a fairly good idea of what I'm missing (not from experience, but just because I'm human), I'm also pretty sure there are a lot of things that are better than sex. And here's a plus: ZERO chance of me getting pregnant, unless the angel Gabriel comes to visit me or something.... I've come to the conclusion that I never want to be pregnant. If I ever get married, I'm ALL about adopting some kids, but there's something about carrying aparasite living thing inside me for 9 months only to have it painfully squeezed and/or cut out of me--not appealing. (Pregnancy and childbirth are beautiful things--just not for me).
That second prayer request? The one where I asked for a lot of kids? For a long time, I figured God had said "No" to that one, too. But the more I think about it, He said "YES" to that. I DO have a lot of children. I work in four childcare jobs. I see dozens and dozens and dozens (etc.) of kids every week. I form relationships with them and their parents. I love these kids. I miss them when they're not around. I worry about them and want to know what's going on in their lives. They're other people's children, but in a way, they're also mine. And I'm grateful for the wonderful parents who share them with me.
So children are a gift from the Lord. A reward. And though I'd still like kids of my own, and though quality beats quantity ANY day, I've gotta say that I "have" more kids than anyone else I know. I'm like the little old woman who lives in the shoe...only my life probably doesn't stink (literally and figuratively) as much as hers.
A dad recently asked me how I'm able to watch kids ALL day long, day after day. I told him, "Oh, it's because I get to go home at night and have all my time to myself. I go to sleep at night and don't have to worry about one of my kids waking me up." He looked at me with a hint of jealousy in his eyes, and said, "I see your point."
I've got it pretty good, yo.
The moral to this blog: When you ask God for something, be specific. He has a sense of humor.
It was probably a little over a year ago that I saw several moms from my church post the same thing on their facebook statuses. "Children are a gift from the Lord." They were all posting this because that was the topic of the recent MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. As a woman without any kids, my knee-jerk reaction was to sarcastically think, "Oh, so God doesn't give gifts to single, childless people?" This reaction didn't last more than a few seconds, because I realized that children aren't the only gift from the Lord, and that the people at that MOPS meeting were all moms who needed that encouragement. And I much later realized that they were quoting a specific Scripture passage:
"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." -Psalm 127:3
I like that verse. I think it's true. And if it is, then I'm a pretty gifted person.
I'm single and childless, and lately I've been thinking a lot about that, but not in a sad way. It's just been something I've been thinking about. For one thing, I'm still working on starting this website/blog on singlehood and Church unity. I've also been up to my armpits in other people's kids. Oh, and I had TWO dreams in ONE night that I had gotten married--in each dream it was to a different guy. One of my "dream husbands" (and I use that phrase loosely, because he was NOT the man of my dreams at all) had a last name that had a lot of syllables and silent letters, like Crickenquallabonutickleishon or something, only it sounded different than it looked. So the joke in the dream was that I couldn't pronounce my own last name. I laughed and woke myself up, which happens to me fairly often. My dreams are hilarious.
Anyway, with all this thinking about kids and singlehood, I guess it's easy to feel depressed. Only, I'm not depressed. The way I see it, I have it pretty good.
Without getting into details (I don't mind sharing my stories, but when they involve others, they're also other people's stories), I got my heart broken when I was in my mid-20s. We're not talking a little crush heartbreak. We're talking, "So, I was kind of hoping to spend the rest of my life with you, and now I can't because you don't like me anymore" heartbreak. And that took me several years to get over, at least as much over it as I'm going to get. I say this because I want people to understand where I'm coming from. I've had some people assume that after getting hurt once, I'm too angry/hurt/bitter/etc. to consider dating again. That's not the case. I have considered dating again, but it's just not a priority. Bottom line: I haven't been asked out once since that break-up, which was almost seven years ago. In fact, I haven't even been interested in anyone. And that doesn't bother me. I actually kind of prefer it that way, because if it's not something God really wants for me, then I don't want any part of it. If God wants me in a relationship, He's going to have to clearly be in the midst of it. If He doesn't want me in a relationship, then there's no reason to strive for one. I'm not afraid of getting hurt again so much as I'm afraid of hurting someone else by being in a relationship that I'm just not supposed to be in. So...I'm cool. More than cool, really.
And God's allowed me to have some conversations with some neighbors and friends recently, people I would never have imagined myself talking to. I have had conversations with people who have been through difficult divorces, some of them involving kids (which takes divorce to a whole different level--you're not just considering your wants/needs, but the kids' wants/needs as well), and all of them involving deep heartache and pain. The pain I went through is just not comparable. I hurt. I hurt for years. I still hurt, but it doesn't affect my daily life at all. Divorce is something that sticks with you. Aside from the emotional turmoil, there's judgmentalism from others, there's legal stuff, there's probably a lot more hurt feelings, feelings of failure, etc. I understand some of these things, but only to a point, because really, my heartbreak wasn't as deep. And I definitely don't understand the wisdom it takes to deal with divorce and kids. A lot of these single parents I know AMAZE me. I don't know how they do it, but I guess when you've just got to do something, you somehow find the courage/grace/strength to do it (AKA God enables you). At least in my own less-difficult experiences, that has been true.
So basically, the Lord allowed me to love this guy, and having the grace to love someone is always a gift. I'm extremely grateful to have been granted that beautiful knowledge. When that relationship ended, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been (that would have been hard to believe at the time, but I certainly believe it now). True, it would have been less painful if it hadn't ended at all--or so I think. I'm finding out that I don't know as much as I think I do, so now when I pray for things I want, I usually say, "But you know better than I do, Lord. Give me what I need and what glorifies you best."
Yeah, when I was eighteen, I prayed for two things: to marry a minister and to have a LOT of kids. Looking back, I'm glad God didn't say "yes" to that first prayer. Why? Because I would make a dreadful minister's wife. It's not that I think minister's wives are extra Spiritual or something, or that I don't make some kind of "holier than thou" cut. Minster's wives are just women--amazing, lovely women. It's just that most of them have to have a certain level of tact that I do not even come close to possessing. I'm honest to a fault. I say the first thing that comes into my head, and then spend several minutes trying to get my foot out of my mouth. Being a minister's wife? Not for me.
And yeah, being single has it's perks. I go to sleep at night when I want to. The only time I'm woken up by snoring is if I'm the one snoring (that happens too sometimes--either because my dreams are so hilarious that I snort-laugh, or because my dreams are so bad that they bore me into snoring. I like to be entertained when I sleep). I have my own space, my own stuff to deal with. I'm not consistently, totally responsible to another person. Sometimes it might be nice to have the constant companionship, another person to be there to help me feel loved--but I have so many friends that I don't feel slighted. Don't take this the wrong way, but other than the no sex thing, being single isn't so bad. And even though I'm pretty sure I have a fairly good idea of what I'm missing (not from experience, but just because I'm human), I'm also pretty sure there are a lot of things that are better than sex. And here's a plus: ZERO chance of me getting pregnant, unless the angel Gabriel comes to visit me or something.... I've come to the conclusion that I never want to be pregnant. If I ever get married, I'm ALL about adopting some kids, but there's something about carrying a
That second prayer request? The one where I asked for a lot of kids? For a long time, I figured God had said "No" to that one, too. But the more I think about it, He said "YES" to that. I DO have a lot of children. I work in four childcare jobs. I see dozens and dozens and dozens (etc.) of kids every week. I form relationships with them and their parents. I love these kids. I miss them when they're not around. I worry about them and want to know what's going on in their lives. They're other people's children, but in a way, they're also mine. And I'm grateful for the wonderful parents who share them with me.
So children are a gift from the Lord. A reward. And though I'd still like kids of my own, and though quality beats quantity ANY day, I've gotta say that I "have" more kids than anyone else I know. I'm like the little old woman who lives in the shoe...only my life probably doesn't stink (literally and figuratively) as much as hers.
A dad recently asked me how I'm able to watch kids ALL day long, day after day. I told him, "Oh, it's because I get to go home at night and have all my time to myself. I go to sleep at night and don't have to worry about one of my kids waking me up." He looked at me with a hint of jealousy in his eyes, and said, "I see your point."
I've got it pretty good, yo.
The moral to this blog: When you ask God for something, be specific. He has a sense of humor.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Monday Blahg: Planning
I'm late in getting this out, but not as late as you might think. I've decided that the Sunday blog I was writing and posting on Sunday will now be the Monday blog that I will probably write on Sunday night and post on Monday. It's still going to be a bit of a weekly sum up, but hopefully a little more focused on the goals I have for the week. And since I recently discovered that I kind of like listing things, so I think the Monday Blahg will usually be in list format.
--Still working on getting my room cleaned. My roommate's sis is coming on Friday, so that gives me a deadline. I don't like deadlines, but they help. I mean, I either have to get my room cleaned by Friday, or shove everything under my bed. ...or just keep my roommate's sister away from my room for an entire weekend.
--Worked TWO birthday parties at the drop-in center. They were fun, but I think I'm too old for that sort of thing. I was on my feet for more than 6 hours, and I'm FEELING it today.
--This week, I'm hoping to get finished with all the written plans of stuff I hope to get done this year. I don't know if it will help me, but I think that getting those things written down WITH workable deadlines will give me something to work towards. I don't want to spend all my time planning, but taking a good week or so to do it might prove more beneficial than three weeks of just sitting around wondering how I'm going to figure everything out.
--Started my diet today. I have gained about 20 pounds back instead of the 15 I was thinking. But I was a little too thin before, perhaps, and so I'm just aiming to lose that 15. I just want to get back to that comfortable size six. It's really a financial decision more than anything else. I can't afford to buy new pants, and the ones I have are really tight now. So I have to lose weight so I can keep fitting into my pants! Diet day one wasn't hard, but I have a ways to go. I'm hoping to start a weekly running/exercise routine that will help me burn off those 15 pounds pretty quickly.
--Monday is down! Congratulations, and may your Tuesday be awesome.
--Still working on getting my room cleaned. My roommate's sis is coming on Friday, so that gives me a deadline. I don't like deadlines, but they help. I mean, I either have to get my room cleaned by Friday, or shove everything under my bed. ...or just keep my roommate's sister away from my room for an entire weekend.
--Worked TWO birthday parties at the drop-in center. They were fun, but I think I'm too old for that sort of thing. I was on my feet for more than 6 hours, and I'm FEELING it today.
--This week, I'm hoping to get finished with all the written plans of stuff I hope to get done this year. I don't know if it will help me, but I think that getting those things written down WITH workable deadlines will give me something to work towards. I don't want to spend all my time planning, but taking a good week or so to do it might prove more beneficial than three weeks of just sitting around wondering how I'm going to figure everything out.
--Started my diet today. I have gained about 20 pounds back instead of the 15 I was thinking. But I was a little too thin before, perhaps, and so I'm just aiming to lose that 15. I just want to get back to that comfortable size six. It's really a financial decision more than anything else. I can't afford to buy new pants, and the ones I have are really tight now. So I have to lose weight so I can keep fitting into my pants! Diet day one wasn't hard, but I have a ways to go. I'm hoping to start a weekly running/exercise routine that will help me burn off those 15 pounds pretty quickly.
--Monday is down! Congratulations, and may your Tuesday be awesome.
Friday, January 6, 2012
How to Eat a Whale (AKA This is Jon Acuff's Fault!)
I had decided that I was NOT going to make any goals for this year. 2011 wasn't bad at all, but somewhere near September I got frustrated with myself because I didn't feel like I'd accomplished anything. I hadn't completed any large writing project (the only one I attempted started out weak and just completely fizzled out near the end). I think I only sent out ONE query letter for the whole year, and that was to a literary agent who I already knew would probably not be interested. Last year, I had set goals for sending out a query letter EVERY WEEK. I had goals of possibly landing an agent, of getting lots of writing projects done, of being a published writer.
Instead, I fizzled out like that story I tried to write, and I stopped writing almost altogether. I went to edit some previous work and was so discouraged by the perceived lameness of my work that I abruptly stopped trying. The task before me just seemed too great, so I gave up.
And when New Year's Eve/Day came around, I said to myself, "Self, you're not going to make any goals for this year. That doesn't mean you're not going to try to accomplish things, but why set goals if you're not even going to follow through with them?"
Then, a few days ago, I read Jon Acuff's blog, and well, I was convicted. In the blog, he challenged his readers to write down their goals for 2012 on a piece of paper, take a picture of that piece of paper, and then post it online. My first thought was to reject the idea. I was NOT going to make goals for this year. I wasn't. I wasn't going to do it, and no one was going to make me.
But then I started reading some of the goals for 2012 that other people had posted, and I realized that I really did need to make a tangible list of attainable goals for this year. What I mean by attainable is, "within my power to complete." I can't make a goal of getting published this year; that's not entirely in my control (unless I self-publish, and right now I don't want to go that route). I can't make a goal of finding a literary agent this year; that's not entirely in my control. I can still work towards these things, but I can't set a time limit on it--but more about that later.
Here's my list of attainable goals for 2012:
Who ate a monstrous whale?
She thought she could,
She said she would,
So she started in right at the tail.
And everyone said,"You're much too small,"
But that didn't bother Melinda at all,
She took little bites and she shewed very slow,
Just like a little girl should...
...and eighty-nine years later she ate that whale
Because she said she would!!!"
If you try to eat the whole whale all at once, it's easy to get discouraged. The best way to eat a whale, and perhaps the only way to eat a whale, is to eat it slowly, one little bite at a time, and at a reasonable pace. It might take a while, but eventually, the whale will be eaten--and I'll bet that last bite will taste really good...
...unless, of course, the whale has been sitting out in the sun for 89 years, but I digress....
Instead, I fizzled out like that story I tried to write, and I stopped writing almost altogether. I went to edit some previous work and was so discouraged by the perceived lameness of my work that I abruptly stopped trying. The task before me just seemed too great, so I gave up.
And when New Year's Eve/Day came around, I said to myself, "Self, you're not going to make any goals for this year. That doesn't mean you're not going to try to accomplish things, but why set goals if you're not even going to follow through with them?"
Then, a few days ago, I read Jon Acuff's blog, and well, I was convicted. In the blog, he challenged his readers to write down their goals for 2012 on a piece of paper, take a picture of that piece of paper, and then post it online. My first thought was to reject the idea. I was NOT going to make goals for this year. I wasn't. I wasn't going to do it, and no one was going to make me.
But then I started reading some of the goals for 2012 that other people had posted, and I realized that I really did need to make a tangible list of attainable goals for this year. What I mean by attainable is, "within my power to complete." I can't make a goal of getting published this year; that's not entirely in my control (unless I self-publish, and right now I don't want to go that route). I can't make a goal of finding a literary agent this year; that's not entirely in my control. I can still work towards these things, but I can't set a time limit on it--but more about that later.
Here's my list of attainable goals for 2012:
That's my list. Of course, since one of my New Year's Resolutions (which are different from goals--usually) was to get more sleep, I'm not really sure how all of these goals are going to work out. But I think that writing them down is the first step to getting them completed, and that first step is pretty important. The first step leads to other steps, but again, getting ahead of myself.
I've recently begun the arduous process of cleaning my room. I'm a hopeless slob. Long have I abandoned any ideas of staying organized. I'm bad at maintenance, so every few months, I have to do a major clean-up of my bedroom. Well, due to Christmas and all of that, my room was a bigger disaster than it usually is, and I found myself returning from my brief Christmas vacation to a pig sty. The floor of my bedroom? Nowhere in sight. In fact, there were places in which my clutter rose more than a foot high. I'm not exaggerating.
I couldn't figure out how I was going to even begin cleaning the mess in my room, but I came up with an idea. I realized I was going to have to do one thing at a time. So I wrote down a list of the things I would clean on different days. First, I'd pick up my clothes; second, I'd pick up the trash; third, I'd organize the closet; fourth, I'd organize my dresser, etc.
Writing this plan down actually helped me move past the overwhelming feeling that I'd NEVER accomplish the task of cleaning my room. And I think that writing down my goals are going to help me do the same thing. Making a list is only the beginning....
I've discovered I do really well if I have a chart to fill out. If I have a spreadsheet where I can write down how much I've exercised or how many calories I've eaten, I manage to lose weight. If I have a spreadsheet where I can write down the Scripture passages I've read, I do a good job of keeping up with my Bible reading. I think that if I have a progress chart for my editing projects, my half-marathon training, etc., then I'll do a better job of completing my goals.
You see, when I have a goal to accomplish, I sometimes approach it as if I'm trying to eat a whale. Eating a whale seems absolutely impossible. But there's this great poem by Shel Silverstein that explains how one should go about the task of eating a whale:
"Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,
Who ate a monstrous whale?
She thought she could,
She said she would,
So she started in right at the tail.
And everyone said,"You're much too small,"
But that didn't bother Melinda at all,
She took little bites and she shewed very slow,
Just like a little girl should...
...and eighty-nine years later she ate that whale
Because she said she would!!!"
If you try to eat the whole whale all at once, it's easy to get discouraged. The best way to eat a whale, and perhaps the only way to eat a whale, is to eat it slowly, one little bite at a time, and at a reasonable pace. It might take a while, but eventually, the whale will be eaten--and I'll bet that last bite will taste really good...
...unless, of course, the whale has been sitting out in the sun for 89 years, but I digress....
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Shooting Myself in the Foot?
Just to be honest and reveal what a true jerk I am, I have to admit that I get a little irritated when a friend or acquaintance either talks about becoming successful in his/her writing pursuits, or when he/she actually becomes successful in his/her writing pursuits. I'm not entirely sure why this is, except I realize that a lot of the fault is with me. In my own mind, I've built myself up to be a pretty awesome writer. I don't like it when friends try to hone in on something that I've deemed "mine." Writing is my thing. I don't want other people to be successful when I haven't managed to be successful.
...whatever "success" means...
See, success is something that's tied pretty strongly to expectation. Some of my writer friends have expectations of being published on a lower scale than I've wanted for my own writing. They've drifted towards self-publishing or working with an independent publisher, and that's okay if that's what they want. I've always wanted to go big-scale. I've always wanted the best for my writing, even if I'm starting to think that my writing might not be "the best." And I'm also starting to wonder if I'm shooting myself in the foot for thinking this way.
I don't think I'm going to be the next J. K. Rowling. I don't think I'm going to be the next Suzanne Collins. I certainly hope I don't become the next Stephenie Meyer (and I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for saying that on a blog, too. I mean, I like her writing style, but her stories and characters lack depth. She also needs to learn to edit). When I was a little younger, I thought it would be great to be famous. While the idea sometimes still appeals to me some, I really don't want that anymore. I don't want fame for myself. I want my characters' stories to be known, and I want to glorify God through writing these stories.
But the thing is, I'm just not one of those people who makes things happen. I think that's also part of the reason why I get irritated when people succeed in their writing pursuits. I'm jealous of their abilities to do what it takes to achieve what they want. I make excuses about not having enough time, but I know I'm not doing all I can to get published. Some of it is laziness, but most of it is fear--fear of putting myself out there, fear of not knowing how to do things, fear of getting caught up in something that's going to prove more of a challenge than just doing nothing.
But everything requires more of a challenge than just doing nothing. Just walking out the door every morning means I'm going to be confronted with an unpredictible world. If I don't walk out the door, I'm much safer, but I'm also not living. And if I don't take any steps towards getting published, then my writing and I will be safe, but my writing will never get published.
I don't know where I am right now. I'm not ready to drop everything and just succomb to the self-publishing scene. I still feel like I haven't given the traditional way a good try, yet. At the same time, I really don't feel like I need to keep going that route. Right now, I think the best thing for me to do is to focus on the website that is hopefully coming soon--still waiting on some things that aren't in my control. I also plan on getting back into a regular writing routine, whatever that is.
I'm still hopeful about this year, but I'm not sure what that hope means for my writing. I am trying to keep an open mind about many things, including writing. I've got a feeling that a lot of what I'm aiming for is going to come to me in a way I could never expect or imagine. I just have to keep waiting for it.
...whatever "success" means...
See, success is something that's tied pretty strongly to expectation. Some of my writer friends have expectations of being published on a lower scale than I've wanted for my own writing. They've drifted towards self-publishing or working with an independent publisher, and that's okay if that's what they want. I've always wanted to go big-scale. I've always wanted the best for my writing, even if I'm starting to think that my writing might not be "the best." And I'm also starting to wonder if I'm shooting myself in the foot for thinking this way.
I don't think I'm going to be the next J. K. Rowling. I don't think I'm going to be the next Suzanne Collins. I certainly hope I don't become the next Stephenie Meyer (and I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for saying that on a blog, too. I mean, I like her writing style, but her stories and characters lack depth. She also needs to learn to edit). When I was a little younger, I thought it would be great to be famous. While the idea sometimes still appeals to me some, I really don't want that anymore. I don't want fame for myself. I want my characters' stories to be known, and I want to glorify God through writing these stories.
But the thing is, I'm just not one of those people who makes things happen. I think that's also part of the reason why I get irritated when people succeed in their writing pursuits. I'm jealous of their abilities to do what it takes to achieve what they want. I make excuses about not having enough time, but I know I'm not doing all I can to get published. Some of it is laziness, but most of it is fear--fear of putting myself out there, fear of not knowing how to do things, fear of getting caught up in something that's going to prove more of a challenge than just doing nothing.
But everything requires more of a challenge than just doing nothing. Just walking out the door every morning means I'm going to be confronted with an unpredictible world. If I don't walk out the door, I'm much safer, but I'm also not living. And if I don't take any steps towards getting published, then my writing and I will be safe, but my writing will never get published.
I don't know where I am right now. I'm not ready to drop everything and just succomb to the self-publishing scene. I still feel like I haven't given the traditional way a good try, yet. At the same time, I really don't feel like I need to keep going that route. Right now, I think the best thing for me to do is to focus on the website that is hopefully coming soon--still waiting on some things that aren't in my control. I also plan on getting back into a regular writing routine, whatever that is.
I'm still hopeful about this year, but I'm not sure what that hope means for my writing. I am trying to keep an open mind about many things, including writing. I've got a feeling that a lot of what I'm aiming for is going to come to me in a way I could never expect or imagine. I just have to keep waiting for it.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Hopeful New Year
Sometimes, when I start writing a blog, I know exactly what I'm going to write about. Sometimes I've already written a couple of different versions of the blog in my head, or maybe even written part/all of it down on paper. Then there's other times that I come to a blog without even knowing what I'm going to say, and sometimes the spontaneous blogs turn out to be better than the ones I'd planned.
I started writing this blog, and the blankness of the "page" caught my attention. It's a blank page, just waiting for someone to write on it. Sometimes it seems a shame to write on something so clean, especially when I know my words are often far from perfect. But there's great power in words, and clean pages are useless. It's only when we write our words, our meanings on them, that they take meaning.
Unless this is the first time you've actually read my blog (keep reading--that would be an EXCELLENT New Year's Resolution), then you have probably read that my "Word for the Year" is Hope. I've been harping on about it for a while, because my calendar is a little different from the real calendar. My new year starts at the beginning of the Christmas season, which on my calendar, starts somewhere near the middle-to-end of August. I've known that 2012 was going to be a Hopeful year since mid-to-late August.
I've already written a lot about Hope, but sometimes even I don't really understand it. Hope still scares me, because Hope makes one vulnerable. If you Hope for something, then you haven't received it yet. True Hope isn't the same as hoping for nice weather or hoping you'll find a good job. We have no promise of those things. True Hope is believing that something that God has promised will come.
The tricky thing is, most of the things that God has promised don't even pertain to this life. He hasn't promised that I'm going to get a cushy job with health insurance benefits. He hasn't promised that I'm going to find a literary agent or land a book contract. He hasn't promised that I'm going to amass a huge, successful following on my blogs, or that I'm going to pay off all my debt this year, or that I'm going to meet some rich guitarist with a Scottish accent to sweep me off my feet. He hasn't promised me good health or secure finances or a stress-free life. I can hope for these things and be crushed every time. That's what makes hope vulnerable.
True Hope is also vulnerable, because it involves trusting Someone besides self. It involves trusting God that no matter what happens, even if I lose my health, my job(s), my home, my friends, my family, or even my own life, He has still promised good to me.
Jesus promised that if we seek God and His Kingdom first, all that we need will be added to us. My problem is that I think I need a lot more than I actually do need. Most of the things I need are actually just "in order tos." I need a job in order to feel successful and financially secure. I need writing in order to feel purposeful. I need friends in order to feel loved. I need a roof over my head in order to feel comfortable. I need food in order to fill my hunger. I need water in order to satisfy my thirst. I need air in order to breathe.
I'm not making light of the fact that we all need some basic stuff in order to live. It's just that when you strip away all the "in order tos," and get right down to what we need--not "in order to," but just because we need...
We need a Savior.
One has been provided. God Himself.
That's where my Hope lies.
This is my song for 2012.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." --Romans 15:13
Hopeful New Year!
I started writing this blog, and the blankness of the "page" caught my attention. It's a blank page, just waiting for someone to write on it. Sometimes it seems a shame to write on something so clean, especially when I know my words are often far from perfect. But there's great power in words, and clean pages are useless. It's only when we write our words, our meanings on them, that they take meaning.
Unless this is the first time you've actually read my blog (keep reading--that would be an EXCELLENT New Year's Resolution), then you have probably read that my "Word for the Year" is Hope. I've been harping on about it for a while, because my calendar is a little different from the real calendar. My new year starts at the beginning of the Christmas season, which on my calendar, starts somewhere near the middle-to-end of August. I've known that 2012 was going to be a Hopeful year since mid-to-late August.
I've already written a lot about Hope, but sometimes even I don't really understand it. Hope still scares me, because Hope makes one vulnerable. If you Hope for something, then you haven't received it yet. True Hope isn't the same as hoping for nice weather or hoping you'll find a good job. We have no promise of those things. True Hope is believing that something that God has promised will come.
The tricky thing is, most of the things that God has promised don't even pertain to this life. He hasn't promised that I'm going to get a cushy job with health insurance benefits. He hasn't promised that I'm going to find a literary agent or land a book contract. He hasn't promised that I'm going to amass a huge, successful following on my blogs, or that I'm going to pay off all my debt this year, or that I'm going to meet some rich guitarist with a Scottish accent to sweep me off my feet. He hasn't promised me good health or secure finances or a stress-free life. I can hope for these things and be crushed every time. That's what makes hope vulnerable.
True Hope is also vulnerable, because it involves trusting Someone besides self. It involves trusting God that no matter what happens, even if I lose my health, my job(s), my home, my friends, my family, or even my own life, He has still promised good to me.
Jesus promised that if we seek God and His Kingdom first, all that we need will be added to us. My problem is that I think I need a lot more than I actually do need. Most of the things I need are actually just "in order tos." I need a job in order to feel successful and financially secure. I need writing in order to feel purposeful. I need friends in order to feel loved. I need a roof over my head in order to feel comfortable. I need food in order to fill my hunger. I need water in order to satisfy my thirst. I need air in order to breathe.
I'm not making light of the fact that we all need some basic stuff in order to live. It's just that when you strip away all the "in order tos," and get right down to what we need--not "in order to," but just because we need...
We need a Savior.
One has been provided. God Himself.
That's where my Hope lies.
This is my song for 2012.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." --Romans 15:13
Hopeful New Year!
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