Friday, June 24, 2011

Fiction Friday: Vampires!

Last Friday I didn't do a Fiction Friday because I was all tired and stuff from being out in the sun too long (because I'm like a vampire when it comes to the sunshine), which led me to the idea that maybe I should blog about vampires for this Fiction Friday.  And here it is, Friday again, and here I am staring at the screen wondering how a week passed me by.  I guess Ferris Bueller was right: "Life moves pretty fast, and if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might just miss it."  But I didn't start this blog intending to talk about Ferris Bueller...unless Ferris Bueller is a vampire, and I seriously doubt it since he went out in the sun and didn't burst into flames and/or sparkle.  And because he doesn't brood and/or kill people.  And vampires apparently brood and/or kill people.

The thing is, I really don't know much about vampires.  And I'm embarrassed to say that most of what I do know is more of the Twilight variety of bleeding heart vampires (who don't have actual bleeding hearts, but I digress) who hate themselves for being what they are than the Dracula variety of cold-blooded killer vampires who just want some blooooood.  I've never even read Dracula, which pretty much means I suck (was that a pun?  Maybe I should've said that I bite).  I've read that Interview With The Vampire book, and, while I liked it, I just wasn't interested enough about it to want to read more in the series.  I've read some book called The Silver Kiss that is about a reluctant vampire who falls in love and does some other stuff (I read it back in high school--like fifteen years ago and don't remember much).  And then of course I went through my Twi-hard phase where Twilight was the greatest thing ever.  I read all the books multiple times.  Now, I still like the books, but they're not my favorites or anything.  I've moved past that sparkly brooding vampire obsession stage in my life.

I've also read the Bunnicula books by James Howe, which are pretty much some of the coolest books ever written.  Just mentioning that because I think you should go check them out from the library RIGHT NOW if you haven't read them yet.

So now I'm left to wonder about vampires.  What are they like?  Let's start with the things that always seem to be true about vampires in just about every book written about them.  They drink blood.  They are undead.  They are pale.  Um.  That's about all I can think of.  Oh.  And vampire children are a bad idea.  I see that theme popping up a lot.

There are only a few things authors seem to agree on about vampires, but there is a LOT that they don't agree on.  Do vampires burst into flames in the sunshine, or do they merely sparkle like diamonds?  Do they sleep in coffins or do they even sleep at all?  Do they have fangs or just razor sharp, venom-coated teeth?  Can they turn into bats and fly around in the dead of night?  Do vampires have souls?  Are they afraid of garlic and crucifixes?  Do they want girlfriends or just a lot of tasty, tasty blood?  And just how does a vampire become a vampire anyway?  Do you just have to get bitten by a vampire, or do you have to drink vampire blood, or does a vampire have to use his red-eyed hypno-vision to turn you into his minion? 

And there are probably other questions I could ask if I were into Buffy or True Blood or some other vampire-related television show or whatever.  But I'm not, so I guess I won't speculate any further on what a vampire does or doesn't do.

I just think it's interesting that vampires have fascinated so many people.  Writers have created all kinds of different varieties of vampires.  Readers and television watchers of multiple generations have indulged in vampire-related fiction.  Blood-sucking creatures, either scary or angsty, just seem to be a lot of fun.  I don't even know why they're a lot of fun, but I have to admit that I like vampires, too.  Not enough to write a book about them at this point, but never know.

All of this vampire talk makes me thirsty.

I'mma go drink some V-8.

No comments:

Post a Comment