Sunday, June 12, 2011

SEW Sunday: Life

(SEW Sundays are posts where I rant about discuss what's going on with the queries I am SENDING to agents, my EDITING, and my WRITING...among other things....)

My fingers hurt.  It's not because I've been typing too much.  It's because I just spent about an hour and a half playing guitar.  I like Sunday afternoons because I usually set aside a good chunk of time just for this purpose.  I could be napping, but when I nap on Sunday afternoons, I tend to go into a mini coma and not wake up until the "wee hours" of Monday morning.  So to avoid throwing off my sleep schedule for the entire week, I play the guitar when most people take naps. 
I wrote music for two songs over the past month.  I'm working on the music for two more.  Originally, I was just planning on working on one musical project.  If things keep going the way they've been going, then I might have two musical projects in mind.  We'll see what happens.  I'm very excited about it--though also very scared.  That's ironic, because one of the projects I'm thinking of has to do with the theme of fear.  But I did talk briefly with a very nice man who might be able to record my project(s), and that was extremely encouraging .  There are a lot of little (and big) details to work out, but I'm confident this is going to happen. 
As far as the writing goes, I'm still waiting on a few things.  I traded manuscripts with a fellow writer friend today.  That's always a little scary, but in the long run I really think she's going to be able to help me progress in this "getting published" journey.  I've been stuck for so long that I really think I've needed a push.  So hopefully this is it.
I know I keep saying a lot of the same things over and over in these posts.  It's because I need reminders.  I need the reminders that while waiting is hard, it's part of the journey on which God is leading me.  While I'm waiting, there are a lot of things to be doing, a lot of life to be living.  What I do now as an unpublished writer is just as important as the things I will do when I become a published writer (and I'm confident that I will become one, one way or another).  I get in this mindset so many times that life isn't happening until I achieve some kind of goal or dream.  The truth is, life is right now.  Life is every day.  Life is getting out of bed in the morning and going for a run, or going to work, or just sitting down with a cup of coffee and enjoying the beauty of the world around me. 
Thank you if you're one of the ones who consistently reads this and consistently prays for me and this path God's given me to walk.  I know it's frustrating to have to wait for anything, and a lot of people have expressed that they really want to be able to read my books in print (most of them want free signed copies--I don't know about the free part, but I'll sign it for free, if that helps!).  I know I've said this on this blog before, but I'm going to say it again.  No matter how frustrated you are in waiting, I'm even more so.  And I've been apathetic for a while because I get so discouraged.  But I sense that apathy melting away.  I'm starting to figuratively breathe more deeply, wanting to take in as much life as possible.  And part of that means I'm going to start working towards my dreams again.  If they're God-given dreams, then they're not really in my hands, so I can't be afraid.  Not really. 
It's really amazing what God's doing in me right now.  It's been such a process.  I can't explain it very well--just that I'm changing.  He's being faithful to strip away a lot of things that have kept me from being as free as He's wanted me to be.  Fear is one of those things.  I'm learning.  It's still a process.  I call it the process of perfection--it will only be completed when I do move past the poor reflection in the mirror and see Him face to face.  In the meantime, there's this life He's graciously given me.

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