Friday, November 4, 2011

Fill-in-the-blank Friday: ...And The "Debbie Downer" of Biblical Prophets Award Goes To...

"My blood hurts."  --What's Her Face, Teen Girl Squad, Homestar Runner

I used to think that Jeremiah was a whiny dude.  Not Jeremiah the Bullfrog.  I don't typically make good friends with bullfrogs, and I don't drink, so they can't help me drink my wine.  Even if I did drink, I figure a bullfrog would probably rather take a swim in a glass of wine than actually drink it, and maybe that would be more efficient in getting the bullfrog nice and shnockered.  But I'm not talking about bullfrogs, I'm talking about Biblical prophets.  Jeremiah was one of them.  And I used to think the guy was kind of the "Debbie Downer" of the prophets. 

When I used to read Jeremiah, I'd see him go back and forth between praising God and complaining about how badly he was being treated and/or pleading with God to be merciful to the very people who were mistreating him.  But I've recently read Jeremiah, and I don't think that he's too whiny anymore.  I mean, they called him a liar (and worse).  They threw him in a cistern and left him for dead.  They burned up his writing--which, let me tell you, hurts me on a deep, personal level.  God forbid him to marry.  All in all, I'd be a little on the whiny side, too (and Jeremiah wasn't really all that whiny, when I really think about it).  In fact, forgedduhboudit.  I'd probably throw my towel in the moment anyone opposed me. 

I guess I was always comparing Jeremiah to Ezekiel, who was probably like the least whiny of all the Biblical prophets.  God commanded Ezekiel to lay on his side for over a year.  Then, when that year was over, Zeke had to flip over and lay on his other side for over a month.  Did Zeke complain about this?  Maybe, but that's not recorded in Scripture.  The one complaint that is recorded?  "Lord, don't make me cook my food over human poop, because that would be unclean, and I don't want to defile myself."  Ezekiel didn't get upset about having to be a sign to a ridiculous people; he got upset because he didn't want to go against God's Law.  And God allowed him to cook his food over cow manure instead.  While he was lying on his side.  For over a year.  And he didn't complain. 

But me?  I'm all complainy because I have blisters (on top of my blisters) on my feet because of the running I've done this week in preparation for my 10K on Saturday (pray I don't die).  I'm all complainy because I'm tired.  I'm all complainy because my car's not in amazing shape, because I have bills to pay, because the kids I watch don't listen...etc. 

So, all-in-all, I guess I'd make a horrible Biblical prophet.  Unless I were Jonah, but that guy had issues.  If anyone's the "Debbie Downer" of Biblical prophets--it's him!

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