In the past few weeks, I've had some loving and well-meaning friends and family show me this article (or a similiar article) about a 26-yr-old named Amanda Hocking who has done extremely well self-publishing her books for Kindle. The article can be found by clicking here.
While I am happy for Amanda Hocking and her amazing success, I'm reluctant to just jump on the self-publishing bandwagon. As a person who has attended Southern Baptist churches all her life (and gone to three private Southern Baptist learning institutions), maybe one would think that I've just got a very Baptist mentality about everything, including publishing. "We've never done it THAT way before...." Only I have never really considered myself Baptist (I consider myself Christian and leave it at that--if you want to know more of what I believe, ask questions--don't rely on labels that often have very little truth). I try to keep an open mind to new things, and one would have to be pretty blind not to realize that the world is changing at a lightning fast pace.
There have been rumors and articles and such about the possibility of traditional publishing disappearing as self-publishing starts to become more popular. If one were to take the success of Amanda Hocking as the new norm, then the eventual closure of all traditional publishing houses would be a logical conclusion to make. However, Amanda Hocking's success is very much the exception and not the norm. This is why I grit my teeth and bite my tongue when well-meaning friends/family try to suggest self-publishing as an option for me. I KNOW they don't mean it in this way, but seriously. Every time someone suggests I try self-publishing, what that says to me is that they don't believe I can make it traditionally. They're saying to me that they think I'll have to self-publish because no one else will want me. While I know that's not really what they're saying, I wish people would think about how they might come across.
Personally, I'm just not going to feel like a published author if I don't see my book IN PRINT and ON SHELVES. I just don't think that having digital versions of my books floating around on Kindles and Nooks is going to feel the same. When reading books, I would much prefer to have the actual book in my hand. There's the feel of the book--the weight of it in my hands, the experience of actually getting to turn the pages. There's the smell of the paper and ink. There's the sound of the pages turning. All of these are experiences I love when reading a book, and scrolling down a screen just wouldn't be the same. According to this recent article, I'm not the only one who prefers actual books over a digital reader. I don't think traditional publishing is dying at all. Self-publishing may or may not be a fad. It may or may not be taking over the publishing world. But I don't think self-publishing is the same thing as traditional publishing. Traditional publishing involves more than just you (it involves people who know what they're doing and who know the publishing business), which, in my opinion, makes it more valid. If you think your writing is good, then it might be...or it might just be you. If an agent and editor think your writing is good, then yeah...it's probably good.
I am NOT trying to say that self-publishing isn't real publishing. What I will say is that there are times when it CAN be fake publishing. Amanda Hocking and others like her have proven that self-publishing can be a legitimate method of getting one's writing out to the world. She's built a strong online presence and has gathered a following. I applaud her for being able to do that. I'm actually a little bit jealous. With that being said, for every Amanda Hocking out there, there are probably about a gazillion John/Jane Does who think they can call themselves an "author" because they've self-published pages full of crappy drivel. I'm sure there are several good self-published writers out there who have put in a lot of time and effort editing and polishing their work before publishing it. I'm also sure there are several bad self-published writers who have not.
I don't have a problem with self-publishing in general. I have a problem with how easy it's become. Amanda Hocking tried traditional publishing before she attempted self-publishing. She put in the effort. It's not like she just decided "I'm going to write a book and self-publish it." She sent queries and got rejected before she went the self-publishing route--and now she's a millionaire. I have a lot of respect for her because she didn't just do things the easy way.
Now, let me also say that there's nothing wrong with self-publishing if you are just wanting to get a book out there for fun or whatever. Just please don't call yourself a "published author" in my presence unless you have some successful sale numbers to back up your claims. If you want to get something you wrote out there and have no goals of making any money or sales, then whatever. It really depends on what you want to accomplish through publishing.
I happen to have a dream of becoming a fairly successful author (and these days, a successful author can mean many different things). I don't just want to self-publish and have it done with. I want to see my name IN PRINT, my books IN PRINT, my books ON SHELVES. That's what I want. I also want an agent to represent me (because I have lousy business sense). The Amanda Hockings of the world apparently don't need agents to make a fortune and a name for themselves. I think that I do.
So I'm going to continue to try the traditional route. If the current book I'm trying to sell doesn't fly (it's my first book--first books are often dreadful), then I will look into small-time publishing NOT self-publishing. And then I'll try to seek representation for another book. Even if I go small-time on my first book (and the series that goes with it), I'm not giving up on my dream of being a successful published author.
With that being said, I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Learning the Impossible
Life can change in a heartbeat.
I was actually starting to get a little ahead on my finances, when BOOM goes the dynamite--I found out I'm NOT getting that tax refund I was expecting. Not even close. Rather, I found out on Friday that I'm having to pay a significant amount to both the Federal and NC governments. It's not as much as it could be, I suppose, but it's a pretty hefty amount. As it turns out, having three jobs pushed me into a little bit of a higher tax bracket. The problem is, since I have three jobs, each separate job was only taking into account the money I was making for that particular job. Long story short, only one of my jobs withheld any money. I have to pay A LOT back to the IRS. I don't have A LOT of money to pay back to the IRS.
My first reaction was utter disbelief and denial. I was expecting refund. How could this happen? I got a refund LAST year and one of my jobs didn't withhold anything. There must be something wrong. So I immediately went and tried to do my taxes on another program. Same result. So I slowly shifted to the state of denial to the state of "Oh crap. I'm going to have to sell a kidney to pay my taxes."
This DOES have something to do with my writing. This has something to do with a lot of different areas of my life. In fact, it has a lot to do with something I wrote about in my last entry. As a Christian, I believe that nothing is impossible with God. The problem is, I don't always believe it as much as I should--I don't believe it completely. I don't always get that knowledge to move from the back of my mind to something firm that I can believe and live out in my faith. I want control. Often, I think I have control. The truth is, I don't have control and never did.
Because life can change in a heartbeat. I can go from foolishly thinking I have it all together to knowing that I don't have anything. Everything I do have is a gift.
The last thing I said in my previous entry was: "And here's...where I remind myself of something that is impossible for me to grasp: Nothing is impossible with God. If I can ever wrap my brain around that, I guess anything will be possible." In other words, it's impossible for me to believe that nothing is impossible. But God is teaching me, and I'm learning. I'm learning that nothing is impossible with God--and since I'm learning that, He's already shown me that He can do the impossible, by teaching me to believe that nothing is impossible through Him.
Hmm. I'm not sure it's possible to understand what I just wrote, but I hope it makes sense.
I first started thinking about that yesterday afternoon. And God did something else that I thought was impossible. He changed my attitude completely. I was still in the stage of "Oh crap! I'm going to have to sell a kidney to pay my taxes," but God moved me to a completely other stage. It was one I couldn't have expected or even believed, but He did it.
I'm now in the stage of thankfulness. I'm in the stage of absolute, amazing, knock-me-to-the-floor gratitude. Why? Because this is something the Lord wants me to go through. This is something He has given me, just like all the other gifts. I guess it's weird to think of financial trouble as a gift, but I'm weird, okay. And God is weird (sorry if that offends you, but if you really think about it, He is pretty strange).
The Lord has given me this situation for reasons I don't yet know, but I'm already seeing some of those reasons. Apparently, I've been under the illusion that I am in control. God pulled that rug out from under me. I'm not in control. I never was in control. One thing I've learned, the Lord is faithful to humble those who ask for it--and I asked for it. I'm overwhelmingly grateful that the Lord loves me enough to give me something that will make me more like Him--to make me more aware that I belong to Him. He's jealous. He won't let me go. He won't let me delude myself in thinking that I'm the main character of my life story--it's not even my story. It's His. He's writing it, and He's writing it for His glory.And this chapter right here is one for which I'm extremely grateful.
I've still got a lot to learn, obviously. It's hard to remember my ultimate goal. It's hard to remember that life is about glorifying Him instead of myself. It's hard to let go of all the control I think I have (though I never really had it).
What does letting go of control even look like? I don't know, but I think it might possibly look like getting over this fear of sending queries. It might possibly look like me taking a few chances by just WRITING instead of trying to have all my proverbial ducks in a row before I start.
One thing it definitely looks like is trust. Letting go of anxiety. Believing that life is more than what I will eat or drink or wear. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to pay my taxes. One thing I do know, it's going to be okay. It's going to be fine. If I end up living on the streets in a cardboard box, I'm going to be just fine. (But I really don't think it's going to come to that. In fact, I don't think I'm even going to have to miss any meals.)
I learned about this tax thing on Friday. Yesterday, Saturday, just one day later, God completely overwhelmed me by giving me this grateful attitude (sorry, I just CAN'T bring myself to say "attitude of gratitude"). It's nothing I could muster up myself. The Lord has done this impossible thing through me. I know He's going to do more. I believe He's doing something in me right now that's preparing me for things further down the road. Those things might have something to do with having published books, or they might not.
But I'm going to be okay.
By the way, I just have to brag on my God some more. Last night, I babysat--long story short I ended up babysitting for kids in three separate families. All of them paid me and they paid me well. The extra babysitting money I got was a drop in the bucket of what I owe, but I have to admit, it was a pretty big and a pretty encouraging drop. I have little doubt that God's going to provide the rest one way or another.
I'm learning. In time I pray He will obliterate even that "little doubt." After all, nothing is impossible with God.
I was actually starting to get a little ahead on my finances, when BOOM goes the dynamite--I found out I'm NOT getting that tax refund I was expecting. Not even close. Rather, I found out on Friday that I'm having to pay a significant amount to both the Federal and NC governments. It's not as much as it could be, I suppose, but it's a pretty hefty amount. As it turns out, having three jobs pushed me into a little bit of a higher tax bracket. The problem is, since I have three jobs, each separate job was only taking into account the money I was making for that particular job. Long story short, only one of my jobs withheld any money. I have to pay A LOT back to the IRS. I don't have A LOT of money to pay back to the IRS.
My first reaction was utter disbelief and denial. I was expecting refund. How could this happen? I got a refund LAST year and one of my jobs didn't withhold anything. There must be something wrong. So I immediately went and tried to do my taxes on another program. Same result. So I slowly shifted to the state of denial to the state of "Oh crap. I'm going to have to sell a kidney to pay my taxes."
This DOES have something to do with my writing. This has something to do with a lot of different areas of my life. In fact, it has a lot to do with something I wrote about in my last entry. As a Christian, I believe that nothing is impossible with God. The problem is, I don't always believe it as much as I should--I don't believe it completely. I don't always get that knowledge to move from the back of my mind to something firm that I can believe and live out in my faith. I want control. Often, I think I have control. The truth is, I don't have control and never did.
Because life can change in a heartbeat. I can go from foolishly thinking I have it all together to knowing that I don't have anything. Everything I do have is a gift.
The last thing I said in my previous entry was: "And here's...where I remind myself of something that is impossible for me to grasp: Nothing is impossible with God. If I can ever wrap my brain around that, I guess anything will be possible." In other words, it's impossible for me to believe that nothing is impossible. But God is teaching me, and I'm learning. I'm learning that nothing is impossible with God--and since I'm learning that, He's already shown me that He can do the impossible, by teaching me to believe that nothing is impossible through Him.
Hmm. I'm not sure it's possible to understand what I just wrote, but I hope it makes sense.
I first started thinking about that yesterday afternoon. And God did something else that I thought was impossible. He changed my attitude completely. I was still in the stage of "Oh crap! I'm going to have to sell a kidney to pay my taxes," but God moved me to a completely other stage. It was one I couldn't have expected or even believed, but He did it.
I'm now in the stage of thankfulness. I'm in the stage of absolute, amazing, knock-me-to-the-floor gratitude. Why? Because this is something the Lord wants me to go through. This is something He has given me, just like all the other gifts. I guess it's weird to think of financial trouble as a gift, but I'm weird, okay. And God is weird (sorry if that offends you, but if you really think about it, He is pretty strange).
The Lord has given me this situation for reasons I don't yet know, but I'm already seeing some of those reasons. Apparently, I've been under the illusion that I am in control. God pulled that rug out from under me. I'm not in control. I never was in control. One thing I've learned, the Lord is faithful to humble those who ask for it--and I asked for it. I'm overwhelmingly grateful that the Lord loves me enough to give me something that will make me more like Him--to make me more aware that I belong to Him. He's jealous. He won't let me go. He won't let me delude myself in thinking that I'm the main character of my life story--it's not even my story. It's His. He's writing it, and He's writing it for His glory.And this chapter right here is one for which I'm extremely grateful.
I've still got a lot to learn, obviously. It's hard to remember my ultimate goal. It's hard to remember that life is about glorifying Him instead of myself. It's hard to let go of all the control I think I have (though I never really had it).
What does letting go of control even look like? I don't know, but I think it might possibly look like getting over this fear of sending queries. It might possibly look like me taking a few chances by just WRITING instead of trying to have all my proverbial ducks in a row before I start.
One thing it definitely looks like is trust. Letting go of anxiety. Believing that life is more than what I will eat or drink or wear. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to pay my taxes. One thing I do know, it's going to be okay. It's going to be fine. If I end up living on the streets in a cardboard box, I'm going to be just fine. (But I really don't think it's going to come to that. In fact, I don't think I'm even going to have to miss any meals.)
I learned about this tax thing on Friday. Yesterday, Saturday, just one day later, God completely overwhelmed me by giving me this grateful attitude (sorry, I just CAN'T bring myself to say "attitude of gratitude"). It's nothing I could muster up myself. The Lord has done this impossible thing through me. I know He's going to do more. I believe He's doing something in me right now that's preparing me for things further down the road. Those things might have something to do with having published books, or they might not.
But I'm going to be okay.
By the way, I just have to brag on my God some more. Last night, I babysat--long story short I ended up babysitting for kids in three separate families. All of them paid me and they paid me well. The extra babysitting money I got was a drop in the bucket of what I owe, but I have to admit, it was a pretty big and a pretty encouraging drop. I have little doubt that God's going to provide the rest one way or another.
I'm learning. In time I pray He will obliterate even that "little doubt." After all, nothing is impossible with God.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I Want To Fly
Maybe it's not good to write a blog when I'm emotional, but here I am. It's a good kind of emotional, I think. I was just reading a blog an author had written some time ago after she got her first book deal. She posted all the different stages of insane emotions she went through those first few days after realizing that she was, in fact, an author.
And then she posted a pic of her book sitting on a shelf in a major bookstore.
And I'm just now drying the tears that exploded from my eyes at the sight of that. I want that to be my book on that shelf. I want to be that person. I want to be an author. I've wanted it for longer than I can remember.
Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I get so caught up in whatever I'm dealing with at the moment that I lose the dream--the vision. As I've realized fairly recently, this is NOT my ultimate goal, but I have to admit, I want to be a published author pretty badly.
Lately...since like December...I've been in this major funk. I've written some. I've edited some. But it's not been very much. I'm not even sure what's going on. I think I've gotten into some kind of mindset that I'm just not good enough to compete with the current market. I'm not talented enough. My writing isn't good enough. I'm not competitive enough of a person.
Really, what I seem to be saying is, "I don't want it enough."
And it's really quite funny, because just today I finished writing a very short fairy tale about a peasant who became a king just because he was too simple-minded to realize that his goal was impossible. Since he didn't know it was impossible, he tried anyway, and he succeeded, shaming noble knights and wise princes.
But I'm not like that peasant. I get too distracted by the things I think I can't do to focus on the things that I need to just do anyway.
Clearly there needs to be a change. If I'm ever going to see my book on a shelf, if I'm ever going to see my name on a book's spine, if I'm ever going to be able to call myself an author--I've gotta start trying.
Douglas Adams is one of my favorite authors. He wrote the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is a completely nonsensical and hilarious series of books. One of my favorite sections of these books is when he talks about how to fly.
Now, he's being completely ridiculous, but I have gleaned a lot of truth from what he wrote:
"There is an art...or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.... All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt. That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard."
What do published authors have that I don't have? A lot of scars. Unless they're Stephenie Meyer, who just lucked out on her first try and created a monster (literally and figuratively...and literary-ly), published authors probably have to fail to miss the ground a lot before they learn to fly.
So here I am again, trying to muster up the courage it's going to take me to learn to fly. I know I'm more than likely to fail to miss the ground. I just hope that I'm trying hard enough to fail to miss it pretty hard. Because I have a feeling that when I finally do fail to miss the ground, all the failed attempts are just going to make that success sweeter.
And here's the part of the blog where I remind myself of something that is impossible for me to grasp: Nothing is impossible with God. If I can ever wrap my brain around that, I guess anything will be possible.
And then she posted a pic of her book sitting on a shelf in a major bookstore.
And I'm just now drying the tears that exploded from my eyes at the sight of that. I want that to be my book on that shelf. I want to be that person. I want to be an author. I've wanted it for longer than I can remember.
Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I get so caught up in whatever I'm dealing with at the moment that I lose the dream--the vision. As I've realized fairly recently, this is NOT my ultimate goal, but I have to admit, I want to be a published author pretty badly.
Lately...since like December...I've been in this major funk. I've written some. I've edited some. But it's not been very much. I'm not even sure what's going on. I think I've gotten into some kind of mindset that I'm just not good enough to compete with the current market. I'm not talented enough. My writing isn't good enough. I'm not competitive enough of a person.
Really, what I seem to be saying is, "I don't want it enough."
And it's really quite funny, because just today I finished writing a very short fairy tale about a peasant who became a king just because he was too simple-minded to realize that his goal was impossible. Since he didn't know it was impossible, he tried anyway, and he succeeded, shaming noble knights and wise princes.
But I'm not like that peasant. I get too distracted by the things I think I can't do to focus on the things that I need to just do anyway.
Clearly there needs to be a change. If I'm ever going to see my book on a shelf, if I'm ever going to see my name on a book's spine, if I'm ever going to be able to call myself an author--I've gotta start trying.
Douglas Adams is one of my favorite authors. He wrote the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is a completely nonsensical and hilarious series of books. One of my favorite sections of these books is when he talks about how to fly.
Now, he's being completely ridiculous, but I have gleaned a lot of truth from what he wrote:
"There is an art...or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.... All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt. That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard."
What do published authors have that I don't have? A lot of scars. Unless they're Stephenie Meyer, who just lucked out on her first try and created a monster (literally and figuratively...and literary-ly), published authors probably have to fail to miss the ground a lot before they learn to fly.
So here I am again, trying to muster up the courage it's going to take me to learn to fly. I know I'm more than likely to fail to miss the ground. I just hope that I'm trying hard enough to fail to miss it pretty hard. Because I have a feeling that when I finally do fail to miss the ground, all the failed attempts are just going to make that success sweeter.
And here's the part of the blog where I remind myself of something that is impossible for me to grasp: Nothing is impossible with God. If I can ever wrap my brain around that, I guess anything will be possible.
Monday, February 21, 2011
My Favorite Writery Things
I feel like making lists. Here goes!
My Five Favorite Fiction Books:
1) A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2) Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C. S. Lewis
3) The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien
4) Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis
5) The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
My Five Favorite Non-fiction Books:
1) Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven by James Bryan Smith
2) A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis
3) A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
4) Jack's Life by Douglas Gresham
5) Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp
My Five Favorite Authors:
1) C. S. Lewis
2) Madeleine L'Engle
3) Lloyd Alexander
4) J. R. R. Tolkien
5. J. K. Rowling
My TEN Favorite Book Series / Companions:
1) The Time Quartet by Madeleine L'Engle
2) The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
3) The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
4) The Austin Family books by Madeleine L'Engle
5) The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
6) Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling
7) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Trilogy" by Douglas Adams
8) The Anne of Green Gables books by L. M. Montgomery
9) The Winnie the Pooh books by A. A. Milne
10) Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis
My TEN Favorite Things to Listen to While Writing/Editing:
1) Rich Mullins
2) Mitch McVicker
3) Jars of Clay
4) Tenth Avenue North
5) The Beatles
6) Star Trek soundtracks (don't hate on my nerd music...it's beautiful--no words to distract me)
7) John Williams
8) Switchfoot
9) Chicago (the band, not the musical)
10) K-Love Radio
What are some of your favorite authors, books, series, and things to listen to while writing or...whatever?
My Five Favorite Fiction Books:
1) A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2) Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C. S. Lewis
3) The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien
4) Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis
5) The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
My Five Favorite Non-fiction Books:
1) Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven by James Bryan Smith
2) A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis
3) A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
4) Jack's Life by Douglas Gresham
5) Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp
My Five Favorite Authors:
1) C. S. Lewis
2) Madeleine L'Engle
3) Lloyd Alexander
4) J. R. R. Tolkien
5. J. K. Rowling
My TEN Favorite Book Series / Companions:
1) The Time Quartet by Madeleine L'Engle
2) The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
3) The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
4) The Austin Family books by Madeleine L'Engle
5) The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
6) Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling
7) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Trilogy" by Douglas Adams
8) The Anne of Green Gables books by L. M. Montgomery
9) The Winnie the Pooh books by A. A. Milne
10) Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis
My TEN Favorite Things to Listen to While Writing/Editing:
1) Rich Mullins
2) Mitch McVicker
3) Jars of Clay
4) Tenth Avenue North
5) The Beatles
6) Star Trek soundtracks (don't hate on my nerd music...it's beautiful--no words to distract me)
7) John Williams
8) Switchfoot
9) Chicago (the band, not the musical)
10) K-Love Radio
What are some of your favorite authors, books, series, and things to listen to while writing or...whatever?
Friday, February 18, 2011
To Prologue or Not to Prologue
I started my first book almost a decade ago. It was September of 2001. I didn't write it consistently. When I was in school, I didn't write much at all. It was when I finally broke up with Seminary (it's not you, Seminary, it's me) that I finally got the book finished. Well, for this entire almost decade that I've been working on my first book, I've always intended for it to have a prologue.
I've written a prologue, in fact, I've written and rewritten a prologue. I have edited it many times, making it what I thought was something pretty good. But in my latest agent research, I've learned that a lot of literary agents just don't like prologues. I've discovered that they especially don't like prologues that give a huge back story or that take place years and years before the actual story takes place.
My prologue is one of these.
Now, I think it would be fairly easy to eliminate my prologue completely by putting the details of it into my story. I can think of a way to do this without changing too much to the story line, if anything at all. And I guess that would probably be the wisest thing to do--to just get rid of my prologue and make sure to put any pertinent details from it into my story. That would make the agents happy...maybe.
The trouble is, I've worked hard on this book and on this prologue over the years. I've always envisioned this book as a series, and I've always envisioned my prologue for the first book to be kind of a prologue to the whole series. I've always pictured the first two words of this series to be the first two words in my prologue, and nothing else ever seemed right to me. If I get rid of the prologue, then all these things I've envisioned will be gone.
I'm torn between a couple of different thoughts. On one hand, since I've put so much work into this project, it's probably a good idea for me to put just a little more work into it by making it something that more agents would appreciate--and that means nixing the prologue. On the other hand, since I've put so much work into this project, I really have come to love it just the way it is. That's not to say there are not still some minor things I can do to edit it and polish it up a little more. It's just that after I've already done so much, I kind of don't just want to throw that work away.
And my fear is that the agents are probably right about a lot of things--I mean, they usually are. Literary agents know the market. They know what is probably going to do well, and if most readers out there are anti-prologue, then that's a strike against my book if I keep the prologue in it. But I'm also thinking that even though the agents know the market well, they don't know my book. They don't know this story that's been in my head for the last ten years of my life. I just think my story is better with the prologue than without it. I am naive enough to believe that I've written an intriguing prologue. Maybe what I think of as intrigue is really just the same cliche crap that countless other unpublished writers have written. I don't know.
And so my dilemma is this: Do I do what is most likely to get me a literary agent, or do I do what I think is best for my story? I have honestly gotta say, at this point, I'd feel like a sell-out if I got rid of my prologue, but what do I know? I'm just the "author" (I don't feel right calling myself an author until I've actually gotten something published). Do I just risk it and leave my story as it is and hope that somewhere out there is some crazy agent who actually likes prologues (or who is willing to take a chance on mine)?
Well, if I am completely honest with myself, I've gotta say that even if I do nix my prologue, there's still only a slim chance that anyone will want to represent my book. I'm not saying it's not good. I'm not saying I'm not a good writer. I'm saying that this market is tough, and I'm just not sure that my book is going to do well in the current market. It's a YA epic fantasy. There are so many of those out there, and right now readers are gravitating towards a different kind of book anyway. So maybe it's time to turn my attention back to the idea of going through a small publisher.
This is my first book. It's the book where I made tons of mistakes. It's like a first child. I had to figure out what worked and what didn't. And now that I'm done with it, I kind of just want to say, "No, I can't change it. It is what it is." And I kind of like what it is, I'm just not sure agents will agree. I kind of want to give my book a chance without having it torn apart by agents and editors who don't understand it. I know that's their job...I'm just thinking I might go small time with this one and try to find an agent for a more recent project. I've learned a lot since this first book, after all.
Sigh.
I'm not giving up, though. I mean, what do I always say? "Quitting is for sissies, pansies, and people who never get published." Yes. That's the one. You may quote me....as A. R. Campbell. I think I just need to continue to try to find a literary agent. I'm just not sure whether to try to sell my book as is, or without a prologue.
What do you think? Do you like prologues? Do you hate prologues? I just want some different ideas, thoughts, whatever. Thanks!
I've written a prologue, in fact, I've written and rewritten a prologue. I have edited it many times, making it what I thought was something pretty good. But in my latest agent research, I've learned that a lot of literary agents just don't like prologues. I've discovered that they especially don't like prologues that give a huge back story or that take place years and years before the actual story takes place.
My prologue is one of these.
Now, I think it would be fairly easy to eliminate my prologue completely by putting the details of it into my story. I can think of a way to do this without changing too much to the story line, if anything at all. And I guess that would probably be the wisest thing to do--to just get rid of my prologue and make sure to put any pertinent details from it into my story. That would make the agents happy...maybe.
The trouble is, I've worked hard on this book and on this prologue over the years. I've always envisioned this book as a series, and I've always envisioned my prologue for the first book to be kind of a prologue to the whole series. I've always pictured the first two words of this series to be the first two words in my prologue, and nothing else ever seemed right to me. If I get rid of the prologue, then all these things I've envisioned will be gone.
I'm torn between a couple of different thoughts. On one hand, since I've put so much work into this project, it's probably a good idea for me to put just a little more work into it by making it something that more agents would appreciate--and that means nixing the prologue. On the other hand, since I've put so much work into this project, I really have come to love it just the way it is. That's not to say there are not still some minor things I can do to edit it and polish it up a little more. It's just that after I've already done so much, I kind of don't just want to throw that work away.
And my fear is that the agents are probably right about a lot of things--I mean, they usually are. Literary agents know the market. They know what is probably going to do well, and if most readers out there are anti-prologue, then that's a strike against my book if I keep the prologue in it. But I'm also thinking that even though the agents know the market well, they don't know my book. They don't know this story that's been in my head for the last ten years of my life. I just think my story is better with the prologue than without it. I am naive enough to believe that I've written an intriguing prologue. Maybe what I think of as intrigue is really just the same cliche crap that countless other unpublished writers have written. I don't know.
And so my dilemma is this: Do I do what is most likely to get me a literary agent, or do I do what I think is best for my story? I have honestly gotta say, at this point, I'd feel like a sell-out if I got rid of my prologue, but what do I know? I'm just the "author" (I don't feel right calling myself an author until I've actually gotten something published). Do I just risk it and leave my story as it is and hope that somewhere out there is some crazy agent who actually likes prologues (or who is willing to take a chance on mine)?
Well, if I am completely honest with myself, I've gotta say that even if I do nix my prologue, there's still only a slim chance that anyone will want to represent my book. I'm not saying it's not good. I'm not saying I'm not a good writer. I'm saying that this market is tough, and I'm just not sure that my book is going to do well in the current market. It's a YA epic fantasy. There are so many of those out there, and right now readers are gravitating towards a different kind of book anyway. So maybe it's time to turn my attention back to the idea of going through a small publisher.
This is my first book. It's the book where I made tons of mistakes. It's like a first child. I had to figure out what worked and what didn't. And now that I'm done with it, I kind of just want to say, "No, I can't change it. It is what it is." And I kind of like what it is, I'm just not sure agents will agree. I kind of want to give my book a chance without having it torn apart by agents and editors who don't understand it. I know that's their job...I'm just thinking I might go small time with this one and try to find an agent for a more recent project. I've learned a lot since this first book, after all.
Sigh.
I'm not giving up, though. I mean, what do I always say? "Quitting is for sissies, pansies, and people who never get published." Yes. That's the one. You may quote me....as A. R. Campbell. I think I just need to continue to try to find a literary agent. I'm just not sure whether to try to sell my book as is, or without a prologue.
What do you think? Do you like prologues? Do you hate prologues? I just want some different ideas, thoughts, whatever. Thanks!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Goal
Goals have always been fuzzy for me. Whether we're talking about soccer or football or basketball or life, I really just haven't been very clear about goals. There aren't goals in baseball. That's probably why baseball is my favorite sport, but I digress...
My sister, like a true first-born child, was always the sort of person who knew what she wanted to do. And then she did it. I, on the other hand, like a true second-born child, waited around for someone to tell me what to do and how to do it. If my sister and I had been more alike, maybe that would have worked out for me. Heck, I'd be a rocket scientist. But my sister and I are not alike at all. Not at all. I love her and am very proud of the woman she is (she's a rocket scientist AND a mommy to the greatest kids ever), but she and I are about as different as two sisters can get.
I feel sorry for my parents who had to deal with me growing up. They had my sister who joined the Marching Band and National Honor Society and held leadership positions in clubs and such. She knew what she wanted to do with her life when she was like 15 or something...at least that's how I remember it. Maybe my memories are fuzzy. I, on the other hand, stayed at home a lot. I read books. I watched tv. I moped a lot. I think my parents would have been excited to learn that I was out causing trouble with friends because 1) it would mean that I was out of the house and 2) it would mean I had friends.
And then, I was the kid who stared at her ceiling every night for YEARS (every night, mind you), and I pleadingly prayed that God would just show me what He wanted me to do with my life. I expected a lightning bolt to come out of heaven, and poof! I'd know God's will for my life.
That's not how it works. At least, not with me. I have a feeling it doesn't work that way for a lot of people.
So I went through adolescence and into young adulthood with this vague sense of purpose, not really knowing what I wanted. I dropped out of college, went back to a different school, got a degree I couldn't use--but I got an education, and that's really why I went in the first place. Went to seminary. Dropped out. Now I'm working...
...and writing...
...when I can find time to write.
And lately, I've been feeling a lot like a hamster on a wheel. I'm running with all my might, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sure I know where I want to go, and even if I do know, I'm not sure how to get there. So I just keep running. And I'm wearing myself out without making any progress.
A few years ago, it suddenly hit me that the Holy Lightning Bolt theory just wasn't gonna happen. And that's okay. God shows us what He wants from us in the Bible--if we're doing the little things we should be doing (including the hard things like loving our enemies, trusting and obeying), then the rest is going to fall into place. And if there's something that God's given us a passion to do, then we should do it with all our mights and trust God to show us if that's not what He wants. And I have a passion and a talent for writing. I've been given these gifts for a reason. It's time to use them.
For the first time in my life, I have a clear goal. I want to be a published writer. I want God to use me and my writing to do something...I don't know what. I just know I want to be a published writer. So I'm trying to work towards that, but I still feel like that hamster. I'm still running on that wheel trying to work my three jobs, carrying my responsibilities, keeping up with my diet and exercise plan, trying to stay in God's Word as much as possible...
When exactly do I have time to write? When exactly do I have time to figure out the query letters and synopses and sample chapters?
Last night, I had a little bit of an anxiety attack. It wasn't a full-blown one. I've never had one of those where I felt like I was having a heart attack or dying. It was a little one--where I couldn't catch my breath and couldn't calm down and started thinking I was literally going crazy and should ust shut myself up in a loony bin so I wouldn't be an annoyance to anyone else. I've had those small attacks before, but it's been years...
Well, I finally calmed down and immediately went to bed. This morning I went back and read the passage we studied in Bible Study on Sunday morning:
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)
(skip a bit, Brother Maynard)
For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. (Philippians 3:18-21)
Sometimes, I get so close to being right that I think I'm right, but sometimes being close to being right isn't close enough. And I missed something big. I'm not sure if it's the first time I've "gotten" this, or if it's just something of which I desperately needed to be reminded.
What is my goal? My ultimate goal? Is it to find the literary agent of my dreams who thinks all my books are wonderful ideas that he/she is dying to represent? Is it to sign a book contract with a major publisher who wants to send me a large book advance? Is it to write a book that will remain on the NY Times Best Seller list for several weeks in a row? Is it to have a following greater or equal to Twilight or Harry Potter? Is it to have my books made into a wildly popular film series? Is it to win a Newbery Medal? Is it to make sure that people three hundred years from now remember the name A. R. Campbell with fondness and awe?
Those are great goals. I'll admit my biggest writing goal right now is to just find an agent and get something published. But even that isn't my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal has nothing to do with writing, and I almost missed that because I wasn't thinking along the right lines.
My goal is to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Everything else pales in comparison to that goal. There are times when I am tempted to think that the things down here are of ultimate importance. In these times, I start thinking my destiny is something temporary--doomed to eventual destruction. I start feeding the god of my stomach--of what I think I want or need at the moment. I start thinking my glory is in something I can do, but when you really think about it, I haven't done a lot of which I should be proud.
It's hard to think along these lines, but when I'm in heaven, all the great works of C. S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle are going to be revealed for what they are: dirty rags. J. S. Bach's amazing music: worthlessness. Mother Teresa's generosity: rubbish. Compared to the glory that is in Christ Jesus, there's nothing we can do that amounts to anything.
My goal, my ultimate goal, is not to write something brilliant and have it published for the world to see. My ultimate goal is to lose my life so that I can be found in Jesus. It is He that makes us glorious in eternity--and I think right down here, as well. When we're in Him, that's when the great composer's music becomes beautiful. That's when the acts of love and kindness become notable. That's when the poets words become poetry, the singer's notes become song.
And that's when the scared little girl can take up her pen and slay Dragons.
Not that I've attained this.
I'm...pressing on towards the goal...standing firm and rejoicing in the Lord...striving to be anxious for nothing...praying with supplication and thanksgiving in all circumstances...letting God's peace guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus...thinking about things which are true and noble, right and pure, lovely and admirable, excellent and praiseworthy...knowing that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...trusting that He will supply all my needs according to His glorious riches...
Soli Deo Gloria.
My sister, like a true first-born child, was always the sort of person who knew what she wanted to do. And then she did it. I, on the other hand, like a true second-born child, waited around for someone to tell me what to do and how to do it. If my sister and I had been more alike, maybe that would have worked out for me. Heck, I'd be a rocket scientist. But my sister and I are not alike at all. Not at all. I love her and am very proud of the woman she is (she's a rocket scientist AND a mommy to the greatest kids ever), but she and I are about as different as two sisters can get.
I feel sorry for my parents who had to deal with me growing up. They had my sister who joined the Marching Band and National Honor Society and held leadership positions in clubs and such. She knew what she wanted to do with her life when she was like 15 or something...at least that's how I remember it. Maybe my memories are fuzzy. I, on the other hand, stayed at home a lot. I read books. I watched tv. I moped a lot. I think my parents would have been excited to learn that I was out causing trouble with friends because 1) it would mean that I was out of the house and 2) it would mean I had friends.
And then, I was the kid who stared at her ceiling every night for YEARS (every night, mind you), and I pleadingly prayed that God would just show me what He wanted me to do with my life. I expected a lightning bolt to come out of heaven, and poof! I'd know God's will for my life.
That's not how it works. At least, not with me. I have a feeling it doesn't work that way for a lot of people.
So I went through adolescence and into young adulthood with this vague sense of purpose, not really knowing what I wanted. I dropped out of college, went back to a different school, got a degree I couldn't use--but I got an education, and that's really why I went in the first place. Went to seminary. Dropped out. Now I'm working...
...and writing...
...when I can find time to write.
And lately, I've been feeling a lot like a hamster on a wheel. I'm running with all my might, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sure I know where I want to go, and even if I do know, I'm not sure how to get there. So I just keep running. And I'm wearing myself out without making any progress.
A few years ago, it suddenly hit me that the Holy Lightning Bolt theory just wasn't gonna happen. And that's okay. God shows us what He wants from us in the Bible--if we're doing the little things we should be doing (including the hard things like loving our enemies, trusting and obeying), then the rest is going to fall into place. And if there's something that God's given us a passion to do, then we should do it with all our mights and trust God to show us if that's not what He wants. And I have a passion and a talent for writing. I've been given these gifts for a reason. It's time to use them.
For the first time in my life, I have a clear goal. I want to be a published writer. I want God to use me and my writing to do something...I don't know what. I just know I want to be a published writer. So I'm trying to work towards that, but I still feel like that hamster. I'm still running on that wheel trying to work my three jobs, carrying my responsibilities, keeping up with my diet and exercise plan, trying to stay in God's Word as much as possible...
When exactly do I have time to write? When exactly do I have time to figure out the query letters and synopses and sample chapters?
Last night, I had a little bit of an anxiety attack. It wasn't a full-blown one. I've never had one of those where I felt like I was having a heart attack or dying. It was a little one--where I couldn't catch my breath and couldn't calm down and started thinking I was literally going crazy and should ust shut myself up in a loony bin so I wouldn't be an annoyance to anyone else. I've had those small attacks before, but it's been years...
Well, I finally calmed down and immediately went to bed. This morning I went back and read the passage we studied in Bible Study on Sunday morning:
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)
(skip a bit, Brother Maynard)
For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. (Philippians 3:18-21)
Sometimes, I get so close to being right that I think I'm right, but sometimes being close to being right isn't close enough. And I missed something big. I'm not sure if it's the first time I've "gotten" this, or if it's just something of which I desperately needed to be reminded.
What is my goal? My ultimate goal? Is it to find the literary agent of my dreams who thinks all my books are wonderful ideas that he/she is dying to represent? Is it to sign a book contract with a major publisher who wants to send me a large book advance? Is it to write a book that will remain on the NY Times Best Seller list for several weeks in a row? Is it to have a following greater or equal to Twilight or Harry Potter? Is it to have my books made into a wildly popular film series? Is it to win a Newbery Medal? Is it to make sure that people three hundred years from now remember the name A. R. Campbell with fondness and awe?
Those are great goals. I'll admit my biggest writing goal right now is to just find an agent and get something published. But even that isn't my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal has nothing to do with writing, and I almost missed that because I wasn't thinking along the right lines.
My goal is to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Everything else pales in comparison to that goal. There are times when I am tempted to think that the things down here are of ultimate importance. In these times, I start thinking my destiny is something temporary--doomed to eventual destruction. I start feeding the god of my stomach--of what I think I want or need at the moment. I start thinking my glory is in something I can do, but when you really think about it, I haven't done a lot of which I should be proud.
It's hard to think along these lines, but when I'm in heaven, all the great works of C. S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle are going to be revealed for what they are: dirty rags. J. S. Bach's amazing music: worthlessness. Mother Teresa's generosity: rubbish. Compared to the glory that is in Christ Jesus, there's nothing we can do that amounts to anything.
My goal, my ultimate goal, is not to write something brilliant and have it published for the world to see. My ultimate goal is to lose my life so that I can be found in Jesus. It is He that makes us glorious in eternity--and I think right down here, as well. When we're in Him, that's when the great composer's music becomes beautiful. That's when the acts of love and kindness become notable. That's when the poets words become poetry, the singer's notes become song.
And that's when the scared little girl can take up her pen and slay Dragons.
Not that I've attained this.
I'm...pressing on towards the goal...standing firm and rejoicing in the Lord...striving to be anxious for nothing...praying with supplication and thanksgiving in all circumstances...letting God's peace guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus...thinking about things which are true and noble, right and pure, lovely and admirable, excellent and praiseworthy...knowing that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...trusting that He will supply all my needs according to His glorious riches...
Soli Deo Gloria.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Projects
I haven't forgotten that I want this blog to be much more than a listing of what's going on in my writing, but it has occurred to me that I really haven't talked about my projects in any detail.
Now, the reason for this is because I'm extremely wary of posting stuff online. I've know some agents don't want you to put sample chapters online (and honestly, I don't want to do that unless it's password protected). I don't want to ruin my chances with an agent because a bunch of people floating out in internet land have already read my stuff. I also have read that it's dangerous to post chapters or even specific ideas online because people can steal ideas. It's sad, but true.
Therefore, I've been cautious, and will continue to do so. BUT, I think I should at least give my readers a somewhat less vague idea of what I'm working on and what I want to do with it all. I will NOT use titles, because 1) Until an agent/publisher gives me the okay on a title, I doubt that will be its official title. 2) I don't want anyone stealin' my titles, either...even if my titles stink. It's just a risk...and I'm super cautious.
So anyway...
The first manuscript I completed, which I often refer to as "Book One" is a young adult fantasy about Dragons and stuff. Okay, so more specific. Yes. It's about a 16 yr old girl who has to readjust to a whole new way of life. She is guided by others, but some of them betray her. The remaining faithful guide urges her to run away. He provides a bodyguard for her, but this bodyguard happens to be one of her former friends--one who hurt her deeply. They travel into the forest and befriend a goblin. The guy and girl reconcile--maybe even fall in love, who knows ;). All the while, the girl is being hunted by a Dragon--the only way she can figure out her destiny is to face this Dragon.
"Book One" is the project for which I'm currently seeking representation. I'm a lookin for an agent. I'm starting to think the market might not be quite right for this book at the moment, and considering it's my first book, it might not be really all that great anyway. My friends have all said they like it. My mom loves it. I just don't think that's really gonna cut it in today's market. I'm still going to TRY to find an agent, but I'm considering getting it small-time published...if the querying keeps coming up short.
I AM planning on getting a collection of original fairy tales small-time published sometime very soon. It was originally going to be a collection of original fairy tales, retellings of classic fairy tales, and parodies, but I'm leaning more towards the original stuff, now. I've sent some samples off to the guy so he can tell me what he thinks. He's busy, so I'm expecting to hear back from him by like...March...of next year...maybe. Lol. Nah, I'm not in a hurry. I just need to keep working on more fairy tales in the meantime. It's taking a lot of time and imagination and writing and editing. Fun stuff! I'm excited about it.
The second book I've completed (which I often refer to as "Book Two"...don't you love my creative titling?) can only be described as Christian Sci Fi. It's also a romance. In fact, it might be primarily a romance, but since it happens in the distant future and mostly in outer space, I call it Sci Fi. Now, "Book One" has some Christian imagery, but I really toned it down because I'm still just not sure I want to be a Christian writer. In "Book Two" there are BLATANT Christian elements that I just can't see removing unless I rip the story apart...and I don't want to do that. There are lots of references to the Bible, directly and indirectly. It is what it is, though it still needs a LOT of editing apart from that. I don't want to go into too much detail about this book (even though lots of people have already read it because I originally wrote it as a serial novel and posted it in protected notes on facebook...and no, I'm not going to let anyone else read it as it is--it needs editing), but I will say one thing more: It also has Dragons.
"Book Three"--the third book I've completed, is a companion to "Book Two." I did not plan to write a sequel or anything like it. It's not really a sequel. It's taking one character from "Book Two" and expounding on her life, thoughts, and circumstances. While writing "Book Two," this completely minor character started speaking to me. She started talking in my head. She wouldn't shut up. And yes, writers are crazy people. Anyway, she went from being a minor character in "Book Two" to a MAJOR character in "Book Two" to getting her own book, told in first person, which is now "Book Three." I wrote "Book Three" in less than two weeks because this character completely took over my life. She possessed me. And wow, she's so much more amazing than I originally thought. I remember talking to her, saying, "Gee, R***, I don't know how to write a book about you." She said, "Just write it. I won't leave you alone until you do." I said, "But I don't know your story." She said, "Just start writing, and I'll tell it to you." And then she did. And her story is amazing. I can't believe I didn't think she was important at first. ...not that I'm ready to do anything with this book yet, I still should say that it needs a lot of editing.
I had originally called this "Book Four," but I never finished it, so now I'm going to call it "Unfinished One". "Unfinished One" is a sequel to "Book One." I've had it envisioned for about five years (I envision three books to follow "Book One" and also a companion book...or two. As long as I'm alive and in my right mind, these books WILL get written and published one way or another--depending on what happens with "Book One"). I started to write "Unfinished One" in October 2010, saying I had these grand dreams of finishing it before November (to taunt all the Nanowrimoers)...I didn't meet that goal. The reason for that was mainly because I had some published authors give me advice, saying that it's not a good idea to write a sequel until you have the first book well on its way to being published. So, I have 2/3 of a book done. I might go back and finish eventually, but I think what I've written needs a LOT of work anyway.
Right now, Imma call my newest project my, er, "Newest Project." I've had the idea for this for about five years, but I kept it on the back burner of my mind because I've got so much else going on. But I've been researching, and I've come to realize that "Paranormal" books are really big now. This book falls into that category. The time to write seems to be now. Without giving away any details about the paranormal aspect, I will say it's a romance of sorts. There's a guy and a girl, and both of them exhibit paranormal abilities, but their gifts compliment each other's gifts. I'm really liking the two main characters so far. The girl is a LOT like me--only she's like all my "negative" personality traits rolled into one and magnified. I'm not sure if other people will like her, but I think she's awesome. I don't really have a detailed plot for this book yet, nor do I have a real title--at least not one that I like. I'm just really excited to see what happens. I'm learning that sometimes I don't know what happens until I'm writing it. Honestly, I like it better that way. It gives the characters some freedom, makes them more real.
Oh, and so far, no Dragons at all in "Newest Project." I know. Shocking!
All right. That's pretty much what I'm working on. Querying. Editing. Writing. And trying to live and work around the edges of that. Yeah, I'm crazy. I love it! I'm glad God has made me the way He's made me.
Now to go edit a synopsis for "Book One" so I can get out some queries...hopefully this week.
Now, the reason for this is because I'm extremely wary of posting stuff online. I've know some agents don't want you to put sample chapters online (and honestly, I don't want to do that unless it's password protected). I don't want to ruin my chances with an agent because a bunch of people floating out in internet land have already read my stuff. I also have read that it's dangerous to post chapters or even specific ideas online because people can steal ideas. It's sad, but true.
Therefore, I've been cautious, and will continue to do so. BUT, I think I should at least give my readers a somewhat less vague idea of what I'm working on and what I want to do with it all. I will NOT use titles, because 1) Until an agent/publisher gives me the okay on a title, I doubt that will be its official title. 2) I don't want anyone stealin' my titles, either...even if my titles stink. It's just a risk...and I'm super cautious.
So anyway...
The first manuscript I completed, which I often refer to as "Book One" is a young adult fantasy about Dragons and stuff. Okay, so more specific. Yes. It's about a 16 yr old girl who has to readjust to a whole new way of life. She is guided by others, but some of them betray her. The remaining faithful guide urges her to run away. He provides a bodyguard for her, but this bodyguard happens to be one of her former friends--one who hurt her deeply. They travel into the forest and befriend a goblin. The guy and girl reconcile--maybe even fall in love, who knows ;). All the while, the girl is being hunted by a Dragon--the only way she can figure out her destiny is to face this Dragon.
"Book One" is the project for which I'm currently seeking representation. I'm a lookin for an agent. I'm starting to think the market might not be quite right for this book at the moment, and considering it's my first book, it might not be really all that great anyway. My friends have all said they like it. My mom loves it. I just don't think that's really gonna cut it in today's market. I'm still going to TRY to find an agent, but I'm considering getting it small-time published...if the querying keeps coming up short.
I AM planning on getting a collection of original fairy tales small-time published sometime very soon. It was originally going to be a collection of original fairy tales, retellings of classic fairy tales, and parodies, but I'm leaning more towards the original stuff, now. I've sent some samples off to the guy so he can tell me what he thinks. He's busy, so I'm expecting to hear back from him by like...March...of next year...maybe. Lol. Nah, I'm not in a hurry. I just need to keep working on more fairy tales in the meantime. It's taking a lot of time and imagination and writing and editing. Fun stuff! I'm excited about it.
The second book I've completed (which I often refer to as "Book Two"...don't you love my creative titling?) can only be described as Christian Sci Fi. It's also a romance. In fact, it might be primarily a romance, but since it happens in the distant future and mostly in outer space, I call it Sci Fi. Now, "Book One" has some Christian imagery, but I really toned it down because I'm still just not sure I want to be a Christian writer. In "Book Two" there are BLATANT Christian elements that I just can't see removing unless I rip the story apart...and I don't want to do that. There are lots of references to the Bible, directly and indirectly. It is what it is, though it still needs a LOT of editing apart from that. I don't want to go into too much detail about this book (even though lots of people have already read it because I originally wrote it as a serial novel and posted it in protected notes on facebook...and no, I'm not going to let anyone else read it as it is--it needs editing), but I will say one thing more: It also has Dragons.
"Book Three"--the third book I've completed, is a companion to "Book Two." I did not plan to write a sequel or anything like it. It's not really a sequel. It's taking one character from "Book Two" and expounding on her life, thoughts, and circumstances. While writing "Book Two," this completely minor character started speaking to me. She started talking in my head. She wouldn't shut up. And yes, writers are crazy people. Anyway, she went from being a minor character in "Book Two" to a MAJOR character in "Book Two" to getting her own book, told in first person, which is now "Book Three." I wrote "Book Three" in less than two weeks because this character completely took over my life. She possessed me. And wow, she's so much more amazing than I originally thought. I remember talking to her, saying, "Gee, R***, I don't know how to write a book about you." She said, "Just write it. I won't leave you alone until you do." I said, "But I don't know your story." She said, "Just start writing, and I'll tell it to you." And then she did. And her story is amazing. I can't believe I didn't think she was important at first. ...not that I'm ready to do anything with this book yet, I still should say that it needs a lot of editing.
I had originally called this "Book Four," but I never finished it, so now I'm going to call it "Unfinished One". "Unfinished One" is a sequel to "Book One." I've had it envisioned for about five years (I envision three books to follow "Book One" and also a companion book...or two. As long as I'm alive and in my right mind, these books WILL get written and published one way or another--depending on what happens with "Book One"). I started to write "Unfinished One" in October 2010, saying I had these grand dreams of finishing it before November (to taunt all the Nanowrimoers)...I didn't meet that goal. The reason for that was mainly because I had some published authors give me advice, saying that it's not a good idea to write a sequel until you have the first book well on its way to being published. So, I have 2/3 of a book done. I might go back and finish eventually, but I think what I've written needs a LOT of work anyway.
Right now, Imma call my newest project my, er, "Newest Project." I've had the idea for this for about five years, but I kept it on the back burner of my mind because I've got so much else going on. But I've been researching, and I've come to realize that "Paranormal" books are really big now. This book falls into that category. The time to write seems to be now. Without giving away any details about the paranormal aspect, I will say it's a romance of sorts. There's a guy and a girl, and both of them exhibit paranormal abilities, but their gifts compliment each other's gifts. I'm really liking the two main characters so far. The girl is a LOT like me--only she's like all my "negative" personality traits rolled into one and magnified. I'm not sure if other people will like her, but I think she's awesome. I don't really have a detailed plot for this book yet, nor do I have a real title--at least not one that I like. I'm just really excited to see what happens. I'm learning that sometimes I don't know what happens until I'm writing it. Honestly, I like it better that way. It gives the characters some freedom, makes them more real.
Oh, and so far, no Dragons at all in "Newest Project." I know. Shocking!
All right. That's pretty much what I'm working on. Querying. Editing. Writing. And trying to live and work around the edges of that. Yeah, I'm crazy. I love it! I'm glad God has made me the way He's made me.
Now to go edit a synopsis for "Book One" so I can get out some queries...hopefully this week.
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