Don't Call Them Babies

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone refers to my preschool class as "The Baby Room," "The Baby Class," or simply just "The Babies."

I teach the youngest group of children in my preschool, the one-year-old class. Since we are quickly approaching the end of the school year, the majority of my students are already two. A few of them only missed the age cutoff by a few weeks, which means the two-year-old classes contain some children who are only a few weeks older than some of my kids. But even if all of my children were still one-year-olds, they would not be babies.

I understand that my kids aren't able to do the things the older classes are able to do. I definitely get that they have limitations, but I also don't underestimate them. They aren't babies.

The problem is, a lot of people don't really understand the difference between infants and toddlers. One-year-olds are in an ambiguous stage of life, as it's hard to tell when the baby stage ends and the toddler stage begins. The easiest way to tell? Does the child walk (toddle)? Voila! Most likely, the child is a toddler. Sometimes you do have toddlers that aren't quite toddling yet, and sometimes you get babies that can toddle, but who aren't yet on the same developmental level as a toddler. Kids learn to walk at different ages. Some are early walkers, and some, like me, wait until they're nearly a year and a half before being brave enough to try the toddling thing. But the toddler age starts at one, not two, as some people seem to think.

And there are other things that toddlers do that distinguish them from babies. Toddlers eat more solid foods. Aside from choking hazards, toddlers can eat just about anything a grown up can eat. They have most of their baby teeth. They aren't living just on milk and baby food.

Older one-year-olds (sometimes younger ones, too, especially if they have older ones to emulate) are just beginning to grasp the idea that there are other people who matter in the universe (besides self). They enjoy playing alongside and even WITH other children. They start to develop compassion and kindness, as well as a sense of independence and (in a lot of cases) stubbornness. They aren't babies anymore. Their personalities are starting to form.

They are also learning like CRAZY. They are learning new vocabulary and grammar moment by moment. They are putting the code of language together by using two or more words in a sentence to communicate. They are building on previous knowledge and actually beginning to use basic logic. They're labeling everything in their world, including each other  :-). The main reason one-year-olds are my favorites is because they are SO fascinated by everything. The whole world is new and wondrous to them, and they are old enough start exploring. I like seeing everything through their eyes. I like experiencing the excitement they sense at encountering our amazing world.

There aren't babies at preschool because, while babies can definitely learn, babies don't belong in a preschool learning environment. We have lessons. We have crafts. We have music. We have structure. And while I strive to make everything on their level, I also have pretty clear expectations for my students. They aren't babies. They know how I expect them to behave at school, and they know there are consequences if they fail to meet (or raise, which does happen a lot) my expectations. Babies can't do that. But, then, my class isn't for babies.

Now, I can completely understand if someone is trying to help their older child understand why he or she needs to be more gentle or gracious with younger children. Children can understand "baby" better than "toddler" or "younger child." By all means, if you need to call my kids "babies" to help an older child understand that my kids are younger, go for it. I also understand that people have pet names for their kids, or that they have trouble realizing their baby is growing up. I don't have problems with that. Call your own kid "baby" all you want, as long as you're letting him or her move forward developmentally. In fact, sometimes I call older kids, "babe," but not in any way where I'm demeaning them or their abilities.

But don't let me catch you calling my preschool class "The Babies." They are a smart, confident group of kiddos with distinct (and adorable) personalities. I have a lot of love AND respect for the students in my preschool class, and I'm just as blessed as can be for the privilege of being their teacher.

So please, don't call them babies!

Monday Blahg: The Life Coach

Some weeks, I just have to accept that I'm not going to be productive.  This was one of those weeks.  I worked about 50 hours--and my work schedule was all over the place.  I also ran 13.25 miles at one time (and also found time to work out two other days last week).  I kept up with my blogging, and somehow miraculously found the time to finish rereading the book I'd been wanting to review, as well as read another entirely different book.  I've at least made a good attempt at getting back into regularly praying and reading the Bible.  I'm still playing catch-up, and might be for a while, but I'm not stressing about it anymore.

Sometimes you just have to do what you have time to do, and not stress about it. 

I was feeling pretty lousy about my time-management and productivity last Monday.  I went into work (after oversleeping, being five minutes late, and just generally feeling like I seriously needed to get my act together) at the drop-in center.  Surprisingly, I had a really good/random attitude going on.  I started verbalizing my thoughts to the kids: "Hey kids, Miss Ruth needs help getting her life together.  I need a life coach.  Any takers?"  Since the majority of the kids were under the age of five, no one really had the slightest clue what I was talking about.  That's okay, because I'm pretty sure I didn't have a clue what I was talking about, either.

Since no one immediately volunteered, I turned to the youngest kid there, a 23 month old boy.  "Hey *insert child's name here*, would you like to be my life coach?"

He kind of babbled a little and squealed.  I took that as a "Yes."

So I shook the kid's hand and said, "Okay, Coach.  Tell me how to get my life together."

The kid laughed, ran away, climbed up the slide, and went into the play tunnel. 

I shrugged and climbed up the slide to join him.

Now, I've been working at that particular drop-in center for more than six years.  In those six years, I've probably only been inside that tunnel six times--like maybe once a year--and five of those times I only went in the tunnel because there was some screaming child who refused to get out of it and needed me to go in after him/her.  The tunnel is dark and scary, and although we sanitize it every night, my brain still tells me that is infested with "khe cooties."  But Coach showed me it was time to just forget the "kid cooties," drop my serious attitude, and go ahead and climb inside the tunnel.  So I did. 

Two years ago, I would have probably been too fat to be comfortable inside the tunnel.  But I'm sixty pounds lighter now than I was then, so the tunnel didn't seem as cramped as it did in years past.  And I followed Coach all the way through the play tunnel, laughing at the absurdity of it all, laughing because Coach taught me something important:

Don't worry.  Stop stressing.  Just go with it.  Laugh.  Have fun.  You can't control everything, so just do what you can and enjoy LIFE.

Then, after our romp through the play tunnel, Coach pointed the the floor. I interpreted this to mean that he wanted me to "drop and give him 20."  I dropped and gave him...4.  Well, it was more like 3 and a half.  He laughed at me.  23 months old and he was laughing at my feeble attempt to do push-ups.

And I didn't just make that last part up.  The other grown-up there saw the whole thing. 

...she laughed at me, too.

So, yeah.  This week?  Did I get all the grown up stuff done that I was supposed to get done?  No.  In fact, I consider it a huge accomplishment that I remembered to get new stickers and registration for my license plate this week.  That was my grown-up accomplishment for the week.  Getting my car legal.  The rest?  I worked a lot.  I ran a lot.  I tried to get to bed on time.  I tried to wake up and get to work on time.  And if I managed to get anything done between those things, then, well, that was pretty good for me.  Honestly, sometimes you just have to let things go and trust that God's going to provide.  It's all about balance.  Have I ever mentioned here that I'm not very good at that?

This next week shouldn't be quite so busy, though...so while it's good not to worry, it's also good to be responsible. 

--I do hope to get this job application DONE this week.  That's my goal.  I need to set a deadline if it's going to happen.

--I want to actually look at some of my writing and at least make some plans for what I want to do with it--nothing major.  I just want to get some ideas flowing for when I have more time to devote to it.

--I want to run 10 miles in preparation for my half-marathon.  I now know I can do it because I did it.  I ran over the required 13.1 miles.  And astonishingly, I ran it in the time I hoped to run it.  The day of the race, I'm kind of hoping for a better time, but there are so many variables.  The climate will be a little different since it's in a different state--but I'm hoping it will be cooler since it's further north.  I'm running around a reservoir, so I'm hoping it won't be too humid.  I'm really hoping it doesn't rain, although that would be better than scorching heat/sunshine--which probably won't be the case since it starts at 7 in the morning.  Also, I'm not sure about the hills on the course--as much as I hate hills, my legs hate them even more.  People say that adrenaline will kick in the day of the race, so I should be able to run faster, but from my past experiences, that's probably not going to be the case.  Honestly, I will be happy if I finish under 3 hours, but I'm hoping for under 2:45.  Okay, so I'm hoping for under 2:40, but we'll see what happens.  Just the fact that I'm doing this is still pretty miraculous.  God has just amazed me in the past year--how He's changed my mind and body.  It's incredible.

--I want to reread a book for a review.  We'll see what happens.  I'm hoping to do a few book reviews in the next few weeks--these aren't for books that I've been asked to review.  I just like doing it--letting other readers know what's out there.  If you have friends that read a lot and are looking for new stuff to read, be sure to direct them to my blog. 

--I need to figure out my living situation.  Like, now.  I think I'm in denial that my roommate is moving, and that I will probably have to move, as well.  I don't like being a grown-up.  Sometimes, it's fun to crawl through tunnels and not have to worry about stuff, but I think that even Coach would agree that sometimes grown-ups have to be grown-ups. 

...he probably also agrees that it's pretty pathetic that I can only do 4 push-ups.

Okay, okay...so it was more like 3 and a half.

Happy Monday Funday!

To Prologue or Not to Prologue

I started my first book almost a decade ago. It was September of 2001. I didn't write it consistently. When I was in school, I didn't write much at all. It was when I finally broke up with Seminary (it's not you, Seminary, it's me) that I finally got the book finished. Well, for this entire almost decade that I've been working on my first book, I've always intended for it to have a prologue.

I've written a prologue, in fact, I've written and rewritten a prologue. I have edited it many times, making it what I thought was something pretty good. But in my latest agent research, I've learned that a lot of literary agents just don't like prologues. I've discovered that they especially don't like prologues that give a huge back story or that take place years and years before the actual story takes place.

My prologue is one of these.

Now, I think it would be fairly easy to eliminate my prologue completely by putting the details of it into my story. I can think of a way to do this without changing too much to the story line, if anything at all. And I guess that would probably be the wisest thing to do--to just get rid of my prologue and make sure to put any pertinent details from it into my story. That would make the agents happy...maybe.

The trouble is, I've worked hard on this book and on this prologue over the years. I've always envisioned this book as a series, and I've always envisioned my prologue for the first book to be kind of a prologue to the whole series. I've always pictured the first two words of this series to be the first two words in my prologue, and nothing else ever seemed right to me. If I get rid of the prologue, then all these things I've envisioned will be gone.

I'm torn between a couple of different thoughts. On one hand, since I've put so much work into this project, it's probably a good idea for me to put just a little more work into it by making it something that more agents would appreciate--and that means nixing the prologue. On the other hand, since I've put so much work into this project, I really have come to love it just the way it is. That's not to say there are not still some minor things I can do to edit it and polish it up a little more. It's just that after I've already done so much, I kind of don't just want to throw that work away.

And my fear is that the agents are probably right about a lot of things--I mean, they usually are. Literary agents know the market. They know what is probably going to do well, and if most readers out there are anti-prologue, then that's a strike against my book if I keep the prologue in it. But I'm also thinking that even though the agents know the market well, they don't know my book. They don't know this story that's been in my head for the last ten years of my life. I just think my story is better with the prologue than without it. I am naive enough to believe that I've written an intriguing prologue. Maybe what I think of as intrigue is really just the same cliche crap that countless other unpublished writers have written. I don't know.

And so my dilemma is this: Do I do what is most likely to get me a literary agent, or do I do what I think is best for my story? I have honestly gotta say, at this point, I'd feel like a sell-out if I got rid of my prologue, but what do I know? I'm just the "author" (I don't feel right calling myself an author until I've actually gotten something published). Do I just risk it and leave my story as it is and hope that somewhere out there is some crazy agent who actually likes prologues (or who is willing to take a chance on mine)?

Well, if I am completely honest with myself, I've gotta say that even if I do nix my prologue, there's still only a slim chance that anyone will want to represent my book. I'm not saying it's not good. I'm not saying I'm not a good writer. I'm saying that this market is tough, and I'm just not sure that my book is going to do well in the current market. It's a YA epic fantasy. There are so many of those out there, and right now readers are gravitating towards a different kind of book anyway. So maybe it's time to turn my attention back to the idea of going through a small publisher.

This is my first book. It's the book where I made tons of mistakes. It's like a first child. I had to figure out what worked and what didn't. And now that I'm done with it, I kind of just want to say, "No, I can't change it. It is what it is." And I kind of like what it is, I'm just not sure agents will agree. I kind of want to give my book a chance without having it torn apart by agents and editors who don't understand it. I know that's their job...I'm just thinking I might go small time with this one and try to find an agent for a more recent project. I've learned a lot since this first book, after all.

Sigh.

I'm not giving up, though. I mean, what do I always say? "Quitting is for sissies, pansies, and people who never get published." Yes. That's the one. You may quote me....as A. R. Campbell. I think I just need to continue to try to find a literary agent. I'm just not sure whether to try to sell my book as is, or without a prologue.

What do you think? Do you like prologues? Do you hate prologues? I just want some different ideas, thoughts, whatever. Thanks!