As Christmas and New Years get closer, I am thinking a lot about this past year. I enjoy reading all those Christmas letters that people send, which talk about the accomplishments and events in the lives of their families. I don't have a family--at least not one that doesn't live over 500 miles away--and somehow it seems lame to just write a Christmas letter about myself. I did that last year--via facebook, because I'm too lazy to actually send out letters on actual paper. This year, I'm a little too busy for a Christmas letter, but I do feel the need to write a little about 2011. Here seems like a good place.
There are two things that stand out in my mind as I think about 2011. I started running in February. Part of me still can't believe that I'm a runner now, and that I actually enjoy it, and part of me can't believe there was ever a time that I didn't identify myself as a runner. And really, by running, I mean jogging/waddling, but after living 30 years as a "I'll stick to power-walking, thank you" person, I'll take what I can get. It's interesting that a few months after I began running, a running/swimming/bicycling group was started by a man at my church. I don't think it's at all coincidence; the Lord prepared me at just the right time for this, and I think it's hilarious that I'm actually part of a sports ministry. I never would have thought that. It's definitely something the Lord has done in my life. I ran two 5Ks and a 10K in 2011, and I'm just itching to do a half marathon. I think that's probably going to happen in 2012. I kinda sorta really want a 13.1 sticker on the back of my car.
The second thing that really stands out to me about 2011 is the overwhelming grace and generosity shown to me by both God and other people. There were so many times that people gave me significant financial gifts to help me through somewhat major financial crises, to help me travel to visit my family, or just to help me in general. Beyond that, I have had people help me out by looking at my car when it was being a jerkface, or doing things for me when I was too busy to get them done, or just treating me to coffee when I was stressed out. I've been overwhelmed by the amount of generosity shown by others, and the grace of the Lord who loves me far more than I deserve.
I know the Lord has been working in my heart to actually ask for help when I need it. I've had to ask for financial help, but I've also been stretched to ask for help in other areas. I've had to ask people to look at my writing when it wasn't exactly comfortable for me to do so. I've asked someone to help me start a website. I'm in the process of asking for some help in recording some music. These seem like little things, but I'm a pretty independent person who doesn't like to bother people. But sometimes I need help, and if I'm going to get that help, I have to ask for it. Sometimes that's nothing more than an act of obedient faith. I'm working on that one--and fortunately God is patient!
I've become aware that while there is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it, I do need to do some major work towards being able to fully support myself financially. I can't keep expecting others to get me out of trouble when it comes--and it always seems to come. I might have to look for new work, which will mean even more changes in a 2012 that is promising a lot of change. And I don't like change.
But, if you've read this blog recently, then you know that this season is all about hope for me. I'm feeling very hopeful about what God has in store for me. I know I can't do things on my own, and I'm still learning to ask for the help that I need--both from God and from other people. Even though I'm definitely a little anxious, perhaps even scared about the change that's definitely coming, I'm looking forward to 2012 and what's going to come.
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Sunday Sum Up: Day of Awesome
"Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up." -Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride, by William Goldman
What happened this week? I don't know. All I remember was yesterday, which was probably somewhere in the top 25 of the best days of my life. Here's how it went:
-Woke up. 6:30. Ate a protein bar. That doesn't sound exciting, but woo boy! Those Zone Perfect Dark Chocolate Strawberry bars are in-freakin-credible.
-Read some chapters of Isaiah. Mainly prophetic ones. About Jesus. And how it was too small a thing for our BIG God to redeem only Israel. Good stuff.
-Met with my running group. I didn't have to go to work yesterday, so I stayed longer than usual and ran five miles, and probably could have gone longer if I really wanted to. I'm feeling much more comfortable with the idea of that 10K now.
-Didn't go to work. I love Saturdays at RTK, but seriously, getting a Saturday off every once in a while is nice, too.
-Got ready for PenNate's wedding. My hair refused to cooperate, so I put it in the "bun of shame."
-Went to PenNate's wedding. Penny and Nate have been my good friends for about 5 years, give or take a few months. I've seen them grow in godliness as God has brought them together. It was such a joy to be able to experience their wedding with them.
-Served cake (not wedding cake, but the other cakes at the dessert table) at PenNate's reception. Okay, so I butchered cakes at PenNate's wedding reception. This (among other reasons) is why people shouldn't let me play with knives.
-Watched PenNate drive away! Yay bubbles!
-Helped take down stuff from PenNate's wedding.
-Started thinking WAY too much about what I want to do with/for/at my wedding/reception if I ever get married. Seriously...I've been in enough weddings and helped with enough weddings to know that they're so much work, but I kinda want to be a bride. They make it look so much fun So yeah. I've decided. I'm getting married. Any takers? I'm accepting applications. As previously noted, any man close to the age of 30 with mad guitar skills, a love of fuzzy kitty cats, a well-paying job and/or a rich uncle who's about to die, and a Scottish and/or Australian accent will get special consideration. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
-Stood around talking to two guy friends after the wedding and ended up going to Taco Bell with them. We drove separately, and I ended up getting there at the same time as one of my friends. We entered the restaurant together and he commented that it looked like we were on a date. Which became a running joke I'll probably write about on my Socially Awkward Adventures blog.
-Had "THE WORST DATE EVER." Which was actually a lot of fun.
-Went home and crashed.
-Realized I'd left tons of stuff in the car. Uncrashed. Got stuff out of my car. Went inside. Recrashed.
This week, I really need to do some work on my various creative projects. Please, if you see me, ask me if I've asked people to help me with my projects, because that's really what I think I need to do this week. I hate asking people for stuff, but lately lots of people have wanted to help me. I think God's teaching me humility as He teaches me trust. Overwhelmed by the love of my friends and the love of my God!
What happened this week? I don't know. All I remember was yesterday, which was probably somewhere in the top 25 of the best days of my life. Here's how it went:
-Woke up. 6:30. Ate a protein bar. That doesn't sound exciting, but woo boy! Those Zone Perfect Dark Chocolate Strawberry bars are in-freakin-credible.
-Read some chapters of Isaiah. Mainly prophetic ones. About Jesus. And how it was too small a thing for our BIG God to redeem only Israel. Good stuff.
-Met with my running group. I didn't have to go to work yesterday, so I stayed longer than usual and ran five miles, and probably could have gone longer if I really wanted to. I'm feeling much more comfortable with the idea of that 10K now.
-Didn't go to work. I love Saturdays at RTK, but seriously, getting a Saturday off every once in a while is nice, too.
-Got ready for PenNate's wedding. My hair refused to cooperate, so I put it in the "bun of shame."
-Went to PenNate's wedding. Penny and Nate have been my good friends for about 5 years, give or take a few months. I've seen them grow in godliness as God has brought them together. It was such a joy to be able to experience their wedding with them.
-Served cake (not wedding cake, but the other cakes at the dessert table) at PenNate's reception. Okay, so I butchered cakes at PenNate's wedding reception. This (among other reasons) is why people shouldn't let me play with knives.
-Watched PenNate drive away! Yay bubbles!
-Helped take down stuff from PenNate's wedding.
-Started thinking WAY too much about what I want to do with/for/at my wedding/reception if I ever get married. Seriously...I've been in enough weddings and helped with enough weddings to know that they're so much work, but I kinda want to be a bride. They make it look so much fun So yeah. I've decided. I'm getting married. Any takers? I'm accepting applications. As previously noted, any man close to the age of 30 with mad guitar skills, a love of fuzzy kitty cats, a well-paying job and/or a rich uncle who's about to die, and a Scottish and/or Australian accent will get special consideration. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
-Stood around talking to two guy friends after the wedding and ended up going to Taco Bell with them. We drove separately, and I ended up getting there at the same time as one of my friends. We entered the restaurant together and he commented that it looked like we were on a date. Which became a running joke I'll probably write about on my Socially Awkward Adventures blog.
-Had "THE WORST DATE EVER." Which was actually a lot of fun.
-Went home and crashed.
-Realized I'd left tons of stuff in the car. Uncrashed. Got stuff out of my car. Went inside. Recrashed.
This week, I really need to do some work on my various creative projects. Please, if you see me, ask me if I've asked people to help me with my projects, because that's really what I think I need to do this week. I hate asking people for stuff, but lately lots of people have wanted to help me. I think God's teaching me humility as He teaches me trust. Overwhelmed by the love of my friends and the love of my God!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
SEW Sunday: Help
(SEW Sundays are where I rant about discuss what's going on with the queries I am SENDING to agents, my EDITING, and my WRITING.)
So my Boot Camp week went very well in some ways. I stuck closer to my diet than I originally intended...and if I exercise tonight the way I plan, I'll have burned 2500 calories in exercise-related activities this week. Sure, some crazy people burn that much in one workout, but 1) I don't have that much time, and 2) I'm a pansy. I've not lost all the weight that I gained back, but I'm not particularly worried about it. I'll get there.
And why am I talking about weight loss and exercise and calories when I'm supposed to be talking about queries and editing and writing? Because I'm avoiding the truth that I've done like nothing in that area this week. Nada.
And I'm not particularly ashamed of myself. This week, as most weeks do, turned out busier than I anticipated. Sure, I wasted some of the free time I did have. I'm still trying to kick a little of my apathy. Or maybe it's not apathy so much as it's fear.
One really good thing in my writing world did happen this week. On Friday, I went out to lunch with a fellow novelist who is trying to sell her books. (You can read her funny funny blog here...and be sure to subscribe to it, because you'll want to keep reading!). She's a lot further than I am in the process, so it was helpful to get to chat with her and glean a little from her experiences. I have a feeling I'm going to be asking her a lot of questions as I continue my own journey into the insanity of trying to get published. She wants to read my first book, so I need to do another run-through/edit and make sure it's ready by Sunday. That gives me a deadline. Someone like me NEEDS deadlines sometimes. ...okay...MOST of the time. And hopefully she can help me with my synopsis, because I'm pretty much like a lost puppy when it comes to that thing.
What I'm about to say might sound like another excuse and/or cop-out, and maybe it is another excuse and/or cop-out. I am starting to realize that while, YES, I should be working towards my goals a lot harder than I am, maybe taking my time in this matter is not a bad thing. I mean, my life's dream is to be a published writer (preferably a best-selling one...with a Newbery medal...but right now I'd settle for a foot in the door). I can't afford to rush into things too much. Yes, there's something to be said for taking chances and risks. Sometimes that works out for some people, but I don't think it's the norm. And honestly, it's not my style.
I think my book is good. I also think the other two books I've completed are good (though I need to get my act together and start seriously editing them). The writing and editing process was hard, and I didn't always know what I was doing, but eventually I learned. And I'm still learning. But now I have to learn how to make someone else interested enough in my books to want to try to help me sell them. And that's the hardest step yet. Even after all the research I've done, I don't really know what I"m doing. I need help. And right now, I feel as though the Lord is leading me to seek that help.
Unfortunately, this means more waiting. The thing is, while I'm waiting, I can't afford to keep being idle. There is editing to be done on projects that aren't ready to be sold. Even if I HATE my synopsis and need help with it, I can still work on it. I can research agents.
Turns out, writing is just like everything else in life. I've got to learn to balance faith and deeds. I know I'm not the one in control. I'm not the one directing my own steps. And I don't always know exactly what step is coming next. I like to know what step to take next. If I had my way, the entire course of this would be plotted out for me so that I could see what I need to do and right when I need to do it. God knows this.
God doesn't give me what I want. He does, however, give me everything that I need. So I can't see what's going to happen or when it's going to happen. Sometimes He waits till the last minute to show me what to do, and sometimes He doesn't show me what action I'm supposed to take at all--and I just have to walk in faith and trust that He's not going to lead me astray. And right now, as always, I know the basic things I should be doing. In life, it's reading His word, following His commands, seeking His face, showing love to others. Even when we don't know what we're supposed to do in the grand scheme of life, we know the little things we should be doing from day to day. In writing, I know I should be working on different things, even if I don't know all the little details of what I need to do next.
So I guess that my prayer for this week is that I'll JUST DO SOMETHING and trust the Lord while I'm doing it. And if life gets in the way (as it often does), I won't allow myself to feel bad about those things. Because while I'm working waiting for this writing stuff to happen, there's a lot of life to live.
So my Boot Camp week went very well in some ways. I stuck closer to my diet than I originally intended...and if I exercise tonight the way I plan, I'll have burned 2500 calories in exercise-related activities this week. Sure, some crazy people burn that much in one workout, but 1) I don't have that much time, and 2) I'm a pansy. I've not lost all the weight that I gained back, but I'm not particularly worried about it. I'll get there.
And why am I talking about weight loss and exercise and calories when I'm supposed to be talking about queries and editing and writing? Because I'm avoiding the truth that I've done like nothing in that area this week. Nada.
And I'm not particularly ashamed of myself. This week, as most weeks do, turned out busier than I anticipated. Sure, I wasted some of the free time I did have. I'm still trying to kick a little of my apathy. Or maybe it's not apathy so much as it's fear.
One really good thing in my writing world did happen this week. On Friday, I went out to lunch with a fellow novelist who is trying to sell her books. (You can read her funny funny blog here...and be sure to subscribe to it, because you'll want to keep reading!). She's a lot further than I am in the process, so it was helpful to get to chat with her and glean a little from her experiences. I have a feeling I'm going to be asking her a lot of questions as I continue my own journey into the insanity of trying to get published. She wants to read my first book, so I need to do another run-through/edit and make sure it's ready by Sunday. That gives me a deadline. Someone like me NEEDS deadlines sometimes. ...okay...MOST of the time. And hopefully she can help me with my synopsis, because I'm pretty much like a lost puppy when it comes to that thing.
What I'm about to say might sound like another excuse and/or cop-out, and maybe it is another excuse and/or cop-out. I am starting to realize that while, YES, I should be working towards my goals a lot harder than I am, maybe taking my time in this matter is not a bad thing. I mean, my life's dream is to be a published writer (preferably a best-selling one...with a Newbery medal...but right now I'd settle for a foot in the door). I can't afford to rush into things too much. Yes, there's something to be said for taking chances and risks. Sometimes that works out for some people, but I don't think it's the norm. And honestly, it's not my style.
I think my book is good. I also think the other two books I've completed are good (though I need to get my act together and start seriously editing them). The writing and editing process was hard, and I didn't always know what I was doing, but eventually I learned. And I'm still learning. But now I have to learn how to make someone else interested enough in my books to want to try to help me sell them. And that's the hardest step yet. Even after all the research I've done, I don't really know what I"m doing. I need help. And right now, I feel as though the Lord is leading me to seek that help.
Unfortunately, this means more waiting. The thing is, while I'm waiting, I can't afford to keep being idle. There is editing to be done on projects that aren't ready to be sold. Even if I HATE my synopsis and need help with it, I can still work on it. I can research agents.
Turns out, writing is just like everything else in life. I've got to learn to balance faith and deeds. I know I'm not the one in control. I'm not the one directing my own steps. And I don't always know exactly what step is coming next. I like to know what step to take next. If I had my way, the entire course of this would be plotted out for me so that I could see what I need to do and right when I need to do it. God knows this.
God doesn't give me what I want. He does, however, give me everything that I need. So I can't see what's going to happen or when it's going to happen. Sometimes He waits till the last minute to show me what to do, and sometimes He doesn't show me what action I'm supposed to take at all--and I just have to walk in faith and trust that He's not going to lead me astray. And right now, as always, I know the basic things I should be doing. In life, it's reading His word, following His commands, seeking His face, showing love to others. Even when we don't know what we're supposed to do in the grand scheme of life, we know the little things we should be doing from day to day. In writing, I know I should be working on different things, even if I don't know all the little details of what I need to do next.
So I guess that my prayer for this week is that I'll JUST DO SOMETHING and trust the Lord while I'm doing it. And if life gets in the way (as it often does), I won't allow myself to feel bad about those things. Because while I'm working waiting for this writing stuff to happen, there's a lot of life to live.
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