If you had told sixteen year old me that I’d one day be
writing a blog about leadership, sixteen year old me would laugh at you and
then eat seven cookies. Because sixteen
year old me really believed she’d only ever be a follower, and sixteen year old
me really had no concept of what too many calories can do to a person.
Leadership is still something that really does not come
naturally to me at all, but I’ve somehow found myself in a few leadership
positions, lately. It’s definitely been
a learning experience. God’s used these
leading opportunities to teach me more about choosing love over fear. …because apparently, when you put an insecure
person like me in charge of something, well, there’s going to be some sort of
struggle.
Struggles aren’t always bad.
They’re just something you have to work through. I figure that’s why they’re called struggles.
Well, I’m no expert, but here are some of the things I’ve
learned about leadership over the past several months:
1. Grace, grace, grace.
Leadership takes grace.
Lots of grace. If leadership were
ice cream, it would need to be covered in chocolate grace sauce, caramel grace
sauce, whipped grace cream, and a generous portion of rainbow grace
sprinkles. And also a big ol’ grace
cherry on top. Now I’m thinking about
calories again….
But really, you can’t have leadership without tons and tons
of grace. I mean both from the leaders
AND the followers AND from YOURSELF. I’ve
been a follower, and believe me, followers make mistakes. I’ve been a leader, and BELIEVE me, leaders
make mistakes. Sometimes even the best
leaders have to deal with people who think a leader has to be perfect. But what’s worse is a leader who acts like
he/she HAS to be perfect. Don’t put
unrealistic expectations on others. Don’t
put unrealistic expectations on yourself.
Let me tell you about one of the most gracious people I’ve
ever had the opportunity to work with.
My assistant teacher in my preschool class last year was amazing.
Now, God has a sense of humor, and wouldn’t you know that he
put the soft-spoken person (me) in a classroom with a hard of hearing person
(my assistant teacher). So sometimes I
would ask her to do something or somehow give direction, and she wouldn’t hear
me. And I’m not going to lie. I got MAD.
I do that sometimes. I thought
she was just ignoring me or just doing her own thing, because, as I might have
mentioned before, I’m insecure.
So when I got frustrated and confronted her about these
times, she would just meekly say, “I’m sorry.
I really didn’t hear you.” And
then I’d feel like dirt, and I’d apologize.
And she forgave me.
Every time. And on top of that
she would make sure she knew how much she appreciated my leadership and
friendship. And THAT, my friends, is an
example of a gracious follower, one who has the potential to be a great leader,
too. It’s also an example of a not so
gracious leader—but, thank God, that leader (me) is learning.
2. HUMILITY
This kind of goes along with the first one. When I gave that example of a not so gracious
leader (me), there was a redeeming factor.
Eventually. It might have taken
me awhile to get there, but I took notice of the times when I was just plain
wrong, and I acknowledged them and sincerely apologized for them. Because a good (or, in my case, a growing)
leader is humble.
In the past few months, God’s taught me a lesson in this
through the poor leadership choices of others.
I've been under leaders who would make mistakes and just flatly REFUSE
to acknowledge any fault. I think the
rationale is that if a leader appears weak, then those under leadership will
lose faith. And there is that risk. But leadership is about risk, sometimes, and
it’s far better to admit a mistake and even to admit weakness than to
stubbornly cling to an ideal that probably doesn’t exist. In the case of the faulty leadership I was
under, the “I’m the leader, I can’t be wrong” mentality only fostered a huge lack of
trust in the leadership.
If a leader admits weakness, it can actually help to create
a bond of unity between that leader and those he or she is leading. If a leader can mess up, admit weakness,
apologize, and get back up to try again, that creates a positive example people
can follow. If a leader is just going to
be stubborn and pretend to be right all the time, that’s setting up a very
different template for those under him or her to follow. Leaders who act pridefully might just end up
with a lot of prideful people underneath them.
They’re just following the leader, after all.
3. Servanthood
As humility went along with grace, servanthood goes along
with humility. The best leaders I’ve
seen lead by example. A leader should
never expect one of those under him or her to do something that he or she
wouldn’t do. A leader cannot say, “I’m the
leader. I’m above such and such task,”
and then go send someone else to do it.
Now, delegation of duties is important. I’m not saying that a leader shouldn’t give a
menial or routine task to another person.
This can free the leader up to do something else that might require his
or her attention. But a leader can’t
just act like he or she is too good for something that people under him or her
are doing.
I’ve been in churches where some of the ministers would go
work in the nursery because there was a shortage of workers. They were serving in a place that didn’t seem
important, but their example was incredible.
By serving others in a simple way, they were blessing parents, other
nursery workers, and showing the church that anyone can and should serve
wherever needed.
And in my own preschool classroom, I learned that as a
leader, my job was to serve all the children in my class, all of their parents,
and my assistant teacher. My assistant and I had a few communication problems, for which she gave me much grace, but I eventually
realized that part of my job was finding ways that I could serve her
better. I could give her clearer
directions, ask her if she was comfortable doing the things I gave her to do,
be open to suggestions, etc. I was the
lead teacher, but as the leader, my job was mainly to serve. When I realized that, I think it helped me
become a better teacher, and that preschool class was the best I’d had in four
years of teaching.
4. Exhortation
Part of a leader’s job is to seek out strengths, as well as
recognize weaknesses, in others. Knowing
strengths helps with delegation and teamwork and other matters, but it’s more
important than that. A leader who
encourages others shows others that he or she notices them and appreciates
them. A leader who sees special qualities or talents
in a person can express appreciation, which usually serves to encourage the
person to use his or her special skills all the more. A leader who sees a weak area can provide the
support needed to build a person up. A
leader won’t let anyone else tear others down, either, weaknesses or no.
Sometimes a leader can just get a good sense of things and
know what is best for his or her team.
Sometimes a leader needs to actually talk to the people under his or her
guidance and get to know them. Sometimes
a leader needs to lovingly struggle through difficult situations with
others. If a leader is willing to get to
know people and figure out how best to make them feel appreciated, then those
who are following him or her are much more likely to be loyal. That's going to lead to a better working situation for everyone.
5. Protection
A leader protects those under his or her care, at the cost
of his or her own welfare.
A leader stands up for those who aren’t able or willing to
stand up for themselves, sometimes at the risk of offending someone and risking
his or her own position.
A leader fights for justice for those under his or her care.
A leader makes sure that everyone is heard.
A leader defends those who have been wronged.
Sometimes a leader even puts him or herself in bodily harm
for the sake of protecting others.
And in my leadership experience, I certainly haven’t had to
put myself at physical risk. But I have
had the opportunity to defend others.
And I’m glad that I can at least say that I did defend them in those
opportunities.
I’ve also been blessed to have others defend me under their
leadership. It’s always encouraging to
know that someone has your back, no matter if you succeed or fail.
I am still learning how to be a good leader, and I don’t
know if I’ll ever be that leader I’d like to be. I’m still much more comfortable in following,
because following requires so much less responsibility. The thing about following is that if
something goes wrong, there’s usually someone in charge that you can blame the
bulk of it on. It's much harder being the one in charge.
But I’m glad I’ve had the opportunities to see that the
struggle of leading others is usually worth it.
The sixteen year old me was wrong.
About the leadership AND the cookies.
But I really could go for a grace sundae right now.
