Wednesday, October 19, 2011


God: Hosea.

Hosea: Yes, Lord?

God: You know that prostitute Gomer?

Hosea: Yes.  I mean, no.  I mean, I've heard of her, but I don't know her, know her.  She's not really my type.  I mean, she's beautiful and all, um, not that I've really been looking at her or anything.  But she's not exactly what I'd call "prophet's wife material."  I mean, she's a...wait.  Why exactly are you asking me about a prostitute?

God: Oh, I want you to marry her.

Hosea: Say what?

God: Marry her, Hosea. 

Hosea: You...want me to marry Gomer?  You want me to marry a prostitute.

God: Yes. 

Hosea: Um, all right, but I don't understand.  Sounds kind of ridiculous.

God: Just trust me, kid.


God: Jonah.

Jonah: Yes, Lord?

God: You know Nineveh?

Jonah: Oh, boy, do I ever.  Those people are wicked.  And not in the Ron Weasley way.

God: Don't be cute.  Harry Potter hasn't been invented yet, but if it were, you'd be one of the ones who thinks it's evil without ever having read it.  Oh, and I want you to go preach to Nineveh.

Jonah: Oh, yes, Lord!  I've been warming up my FIRE AND BRIMSTONE VOICE!  MUWAHAHAHA!  Do you like?

God: I've heard better.  Actually, I want you to call Nineveh to repentance. 

Jonah: Say what?

God: Tell them I'm willing to forgive them if they repent.

Jonah: Are we talking about the same Nineveh, because that's ridiculous.  Ridonkulous even.

God: Just trust me, kid.

Jonah: How 'bout I go the other way and hop a ship for Tarshish instead and get eaten by a ginormous fish, because that sounds like loads of fun.  After I throw myself a pity party and pray, you can have that fish spit me out right on Nineveh's doorstep.  Yeah, that would be great.  Then I'll preach to Nineveh,throw a fit over a worm and a vine, and never have my own personal story resolved.

God: I love you, kid, but you have issues. 

God: Son?

Jesus: Yes, Father?

God: You know what I'm going to say.

Jesus: Yes, I do.  This whole Trinity thing is pretty awesome.

God: It is, isn't it.  Anyway, You know what has to be done.

Jesus: Yes.  I do.  I know You will not take this cup from me.

God: And You understand why.

Jesus: I've always understood why.  Love.  We love these rebellious, sinful, stiff-necked people.

God: Oh, yes, we love them so, my Son.

Jesus: I trust you, but it doesn't make sense, does it, Father?  It doesn't make sense for the Holy God to love the people in this fallen world so much that we would die for them.  Yet I know that we do.  I know that we will do whatever it takes to redeem them.

God: Love is ridiculous, Son. 

Jesus:  I know, Father.  I know.

God: Trust me.

Jesus: I do, Father.  And I will obey.


God: Ruth.

Me: Yes, Lord.

God: Why are you crying?

Me: The past is coming to haunt me again.  I'm reminded of the years of trusting and waiting.  I'm reminded of those well-meaning friends who deeply hurt me when they called me ridiculous.  I can't stop listening to these reminders.

God: Well, remind yourself of what is true.

Me: True or False: I'm worthless.  True.

God: Yes, but always remember that my worth confounds your worthlessness.  I love you, I want you, I have a purpose for you, and that's far better than vainly trying to attain worth in your own effort.

Me: True or False: I take myself too seriously. Also true.

God: You care too much about what others think of you, and they don't truly have any power over you.  I'm the One who is defending you.  Trust me.

Me: True or False: I'm ridiculous.  It's true, isn't it?

God: Yes, my dear child, you are absolutely crazy ridiculous.  It doesn't make any worldly sense for you to keep waiting and trusting, doing what I've given you to do, when you have seen no results and been hurt in the effort.  But if you were striving in your own power instead of Mine, you wouldn't have the strength to keep going.  Take courage in that.  And remember, I love you ridiculously.  If anyone hates you, remember that they hated me first.

Me: True or False: Satan is behind this attack on me right now.  I think that's false.

God: You're right.  He's just in the forefront.  He planned this attack on you and carried it out, but he didn't suspect that I've been behind it all along, working to bring good out of what he intended for evil.  He really should suspect it, too.  I've been bringing good out of what he intended for evil ever since he got Eve to eat the fruit.  I'm in control.  That's why you can trust me, even if what you're doing seems ridiculous.

Me: Thank you, Father.

God: Rest now.  Wait.  And just trust me, kid.

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