Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Single Question?

I haven't been blogging about it as much here, but just because I haven't been blogging about it doesn't mean I'm not thinking/talking about it.

A few weeks ago I started writing a little about a blog project I'd like to start.  I still haven't started it, but I've talked to a few people, and I'm hoping to talk to a few more.  I'd like to see this project start fairly soon--at least by the end of the year, but hopefully much sooner.

My original idea for a name for this blog/project/experiment/whatever was "Singled In," but I got to looking around the interwebz and realized that "Singled In" wasn't really that original after all.  I'm still thinking of possible names for this, but the name I keep coming back to is "Single Question."

I'm pretty sure this name is lame, but I can't think of anything better.  And it's descriptive of my project for two reasons:  1) What I want to do with this blog is ask questions about singlehood, marriage, God, unity, the Church, parenting, etc.  As a single person, I'd like to see how other people (married, single, divorced, widowed, etc.) would answer these questions.  2) Most of my blogs would consist of a single question.

I haven't yet gotten the response I've hoped for regarding this blog idea, and I'm guessing there are several reasons for that.  People just haven't heard about it.  People aren't sure what to say in response to it.  People are waiting until I follow through with it until they decide whether they want to get on board or not. 

Another reason I've considered is that perhaps people just aren't sure exactly WHAT I'm doing or WHY I'm doing it.  I will hope to answer this question in the first few blogs when I get that up and running, but here's a brief answer to those questions.  Since I hope to ask a lot of questions of others, it is only right that I start by answering a few questions.

A few years ago, someone asked me about the singles ministry at my church.  And well, we don't really have one.  But my friend's question made me start thinking about the purpose of singles ministries, about whether or not some churches seem to create invisible (and, in my opinion and experience, unnecessary) barriers between married people/families and single adults.  Over the past couple of years, I've even toyed with writing a book on the subject.  But I soon realized that all I have is my own experiences, and that's not enough to write a book.  Eventually, God led me to the idea of this blog project, and I really think it's time to get started on it.

So what is this blog idea?

I have hopes that "Single Question" or whatever I end up calling it (suggestions welcome, please!) will be a place where I can ask questions about singlehood, marriage, parenthood, divorce, single parenting, widowhood, Church unity, etc., in the hopes that people from many different backgrounds will respond with their thoughts, experiences, and even other questions.  I will also (perhaps once a week) blog about some of my own thoughts and experiences as a single adult in the church, including some of the more humorous aspects of singlehood. 

Why do I want to start this blog?

This is a question I have asked myself more than once, and it's a very important question.  There isn't just one purpose of this blog, and yet there is.  Some of the reasons I have for wanting to do this include the desire to accumulate information (through asking questions and hopefully getting a variety of answers from a variety of sources), the desire to help others understand a different point of view than their own, the desire to share my own thoughts and experiences, the desire to help foster unity among people from different marital, etc. backgrounds, and the desire to help single people see areas where they can serve in the church.  The main purpose in all of this, however, is to glorify God.  I truly believe this is a vision the Lord has given to me, and I believe He's going to complete it through me.  I just have to have faith as it gets started up and keep an open mind as He takes it where He wants to take it.

What it is NOT: "Single Question" (or whatever I call it) is NOT a blog that will include rants about the assumed unfairness of being single in today's society/church (I might include humorous and even sarcastic bits about misunderstandings that some married people have expressed towards single adults, but I hope these will be used sparingly--and will be taken lightly and not seriously).  It will NOT include pointless dating or relationship advice (though sometimes a particular question might come up that will involve meaningful conversation about dating/marital relationships). It will (hopefully) NOT include bashing of ideas that I don't personally understand (such as organized singles ministries)--in fact, part of the reason I want to ask questions is so that I might gain understanding.

And one more question: Who is this blog for? Answer: Everyone.  Answer: You.  I hope you'll consider reading it, once it gets up and running.  If it's going to work, it will have to be a group effort.

If you have any questions, leave a comment here, on Twitter, or on facebook.  Please please please be in prayer for this!  Let me know your thoughts, and spread the word!  (If you scroll near the top of this page and look at the left side bar, you'll see "Like it? Share it!" which allows you to easily share this blog with others on facebook and/or Twitter.  It's that easy.)

And seriously, if you have any comments/suggestions about a name for this project (or if you actually like the name I've been considering), I'd be happy to hear them. 



  1. Ruth! Not sure if this means anything or not but what first came to mind as I read your post was that a group that may need/want to read a blog like this would be mothers of teenage girls like myself. Girls like my daughter receive such pressure from the world to be 'with' someone. I would love to be able to encourage her to follow the leading of the Lord and not what the world says she should be doing. I am looking forward to hearing more from you! Thanks!

  2. Great post, Ruth... Im on board and would love to help with your project! I dont think the title is lame at all... In fact.... It caught my attention via twitter. There are so many singles in the church today that could use direction on how to relate to families/stay connected in the church... And there are many other such topics to cover. Look forward to hearing more! =) - Your spiritual singlehood sistah... Joanna :)

  3. My mom actually had a really good suggestion for a title: A Single Purpose. The more I think about it, the more I like it. Thank you ladies for your feedback! I appreciate it so much!

  4. Yeah, A Single Purpose! I'll tune in, but I'm not great at dispensing "sound" advice. I'm pretty good at sarcasm, so certainly I'll add some of that to the scene. One of my best friends is single though and I'll plug her in to this.

  5. I like your idea. Agree so much about that invisible barrier between the married and the single adults. We're all children of God, not needing to be labeled by just our marital status.

  6. Um Yeah, this idea really rocks. I can throw the old "single mom" shoe in there as well.

  7. I'm wanting to touch on a couple things: 1) This is not a single's website. Please don't get that idea. It's more of a website for anyone who wants to help promote unity within the church. 2) Even though I haven't gotten it up and running yet, I have made some changes in the initial format. I do hope to ask a lot of questions, but there will be some more traditional blogs and guest posts, etc. More is coming...all in God's time...