Fiction Friday: Lame Lists

I've had a busy week and haven't had time to reread a book I had planned to review for Fiction Friday.  Instead, I'm just going to post some of my favorite literary things.  Lame?  Yes. 

Sorry.

Five Top Favorite Book Series:

1. The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
    -Fave book from the series: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
2. The Time Quartet by Madeleine L'Engle
    -Fave book from the series (and favorite novel in general): A Wrinkle in Time
3. Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
    -Fave book from the series: The Return of the King
4. Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
    -Fave book from the series: either The Prisoner of Azkaban or The Half-Blood Prince. I think.
5. The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
    -Fave book from the series: Taran Wanderer
Honorable Mentions: The Hunger Games books by Suzanne Collins, Anne of Green Gables books by L. M. Montgomery, "Austin Family" books by Madeleine L'Engle, Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books by Douglas Adams, Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis, Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne

Top Five Film Adaptations of Novels:

1. The Princess Bride, novel AND screenplay by William Goldman
2. The Return of the King, novel by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, novel by J. K. Rowling
4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, novel (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) by Roald Dahl
5. Jurassic Park, novel by Michael Chriton
Honorable Mentions: Ramona and Beezus, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (both parts), Water for Elephants, 10 Things I Hate About You

Five LEAST FAVORITE Film Adaptations

1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, novel by J. K. Rowling, film by morons
2. A Wrinkle in Time, novel by Madeleine L'Engle, film by malicious beings intent on mutilating one of the greatest works of fiction of all time
3. Eragon, novel by Christopher Paolini, film by people who didn't seem to realize this would have made a brilliant SERIES of movies
4. 2010: The Year We Make Contact, novel (2010: Odyssey Two) by Arthur C. Clarke, film by people who probably thought it was a good idea at the time
5. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005 version), novel by Douglas Adams, film by people who were brilliant enough to cast Zooey Deschanel and Alan Rickman, yet who still just don't seem to get it
Dishonorable Mention: Twilight

Five Film Adaptations that were vastly different from the books, yet, IMO, still highly enjoyable:

1. Pollyanna, novel by Elanor Porter, film by Disney
2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, novel by Victor Hugo, film by Disney
3. The Sword and the Stone, novel by T. H. White, film by Disney
4. Mary Poppins, novel by P. L. Travers, film by Disney
5. The Black Cauldron, novel (mashup of The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron) by Lloyd Alexander, film by Disney (I'm totally seeing a theme here)
Honorable mentions: Alice in Wonderland, The Three Musketeers, and The Jungle Book.  All wonderfully screwed up by Disney.

Top Five Fictional Characters (that I didn't invent)

1. Meg Murray from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. Lucy Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
4. Vicky Austin from A Ring of Endless Light (etc.) by Madeleine L'Engle
5. Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling
Honorable Mentions: Eeyore, (I'm ashamed to admit it--okay, so I'm not) Peeta Mellark, Anne Shirley/Blythe, Puddleglum, Inigo Montoya, Taran

Top Five Dead Writers

1. Madeleine L'Engle
2. C. S. Lewis
3. Lloyd Alexander
4. J. R. R. Tolkien
5. Alfred Lord Tennyson
Honorable Mentions: Douglas Adams, L. M. Montgomery, A. A. Milne, Kenneth Grahame, Beatrix Potter, Shel Silversteen, Roald Dahl

Top Five Writers Who Are Still Alive:

1. J. K. Rowling
2. Suzanne Collins
3. William Goldman
4. Beverly Cleary
5. Tie among several authors who wrote books I loved as a kid (and as an adult): Katherine Paterson, Jerry Spinelli, Louis Sachar, Judy Blume, James Howe, Caroline B. Cooney, etc.
Honorable Mentions: Homer Hickman, Lemony Snicket

Thanks for reading this drudgery.  Please now feel the need to bombard my comments with all of your favorite and least favorite things, and I'll promise to read them.

Again, I am sorry for this boring blog of lame lists.  Please accept my apology and this lame picture of me holding the book with my least favorite title:

Fiction Friday: "Redeeming" Christian Fiction

I'm still not sure whether or not I'd like to be a Christian author.  I'd like to be an author (despite what my mom says, I'm not an author until I'm published).  I am a Christian.  Since God seems to sneak up on me into several of my blog posts here, I guess I already qualify as a Christian writer.  I just don't know if I want to have any of my books published with that kind of stigma label. 

One of my reasons for this is because I don't just want Christians reading my books.  Honestly, I just don't see some average nonChristian Joe...or Joe-ette...walking into a book store or library and picking up something from the "Inspirational" section. 

The other reason is because I really don't know whether or not I'd like to be classified as a Christian author is because there's a LOT of Christian fiction out there that...well...sucks.  I've had this conversation with several of my friends, and most of them agree with me.  Christian fiction doesn't have a good reputation.

But I've decided I need to actually read a little bit of Christian fiction before saying it all stinks.  I'd been meaning to read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers for many years, and I finally did read it a few weeks ago.

I was actually a little stunned (in a good way) at the honesty of this book.  The book plays on the story of Hosea from the Bible, which is really the only reason I was interested in reading it.  I don't like romance for the sake of romance, but this book wasn't mainly a romance--at least not one between two people.  This story was a very honest story about God drawing His children back to Himself.

The main female character, Angel, is a prostitute.  While there was nothing at all graphic or crude, Rivers didn't make light of her horrible past/present situations.  There were times when it was uncomfortable for me to read, but I actually appreciated those times because they made the book/characters more real.

The human love story (as well as the Divine) begins with a man named Michael Hosea.  He was also a very real character.  Rivers didn't make him just some lovey-dovey man who easily forgave Angel.  He did forgive her, but he dealt with the pain and anger realistically, all the while loving this woman who felt entirely unlovable.

There are other characters and situations that were difficult to read, but they were so honest that I couldn't help but love this book.  There were some stylistic problems I had--such as Rivers jumping the point of view from character to character without any notice.  Sometimes I had to figure out whose brain I was reading.   I also was underwhelmed by a very matter-of-fact and unnecessary epilogue. 

But I think Rivers has shown that there can be such a thing as good Christian fiction, and perhaps even good Christian romance.  This wasn't just another book about the hero or heroine loving someone to Christ.  This was a honestly written story about a woman who desperately needed the love and redemption of God.  It was about what God can do with a changed life.  It was a very hopeful book.

I was actually a little surprised to read parts of this book, though.  The last entire book I managed to write was a Christian sci-fi romance thing.  The main character has this Hosea theme going throughout her struggles and successes.  Without ever having read Redeeming Love, it sounds as though I drew inspiration from it.  I didn't, but it doesn't matter.  I realized through reading Redeeming Love that my story lacks a lot of honesty and needs even more editing than I originally believed. 

I guess that's why Francine Rivers is a full-fledged published Christian author, and I'm just a wanna-be.  Uh...whatever it is I wanna be...?

Fiction Friday: You are NOT J. R .R. Tolkien

I've only read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy once.  It was actually years ago, and I've very much wanted to read them again, but, dude!  Those books are long.  I would probably have to devote an entire summer to reading them, so maybe next year?

Even if I haven't read them in a while, they remain some of my favorite books.  Samwise Gamgee is my second favorite fictional character.  I can't watch the end of the last movie (Return of the King) without weeping.  The book The Return of the King made me weep, too.  After journeying along with Samwise and Frodo (and believe me, with as long and as well-written as those books are, you literally feel like you're journeying with them), it broke my heart to have to see them part at the end.  Hopefully I didn't ruin that ending for you.

Tolkien was a genius, and eventually I'd like to delve into some of his other work.  I have a copy of The Silmarillion that I have yet to read.  Why?  Because I'd probably have to devote a good month to that thing in order to give it proper attention, and I don't have that kind of time at the moment.  Tolkien's works need time to properly digest.  They deserve every bit of that time. 

Other books, however, don't deserve that kind of time and devotion.
There was a time when readers wanted to read books full of descriptive landscapes, wordy settings, lengthy passages about various unimportant objects that happen to be sitting around in a room.  A lot of these books are wonderful.  I have nothing against them.  It's just that most of them were written in the 1800s, and it seems to me that a lot of today's authors are suffering under some kind of delusion.  Either they believe they're still living in the 1800s, or they believe they are, in fact, J. R. R. Tolkien.

Tolkien did not write LOTR in the 1800s.  He wrote LOTR in the earlier half of the 1900s.  In the case of this work, however, it doesn't really matter, because it was ground-breaking.  LOTR was pretty much the first of its kind, which means it would have done well in whatever particular time it was written.  Just about every fantasy author since Tolkien has ripped off been inspired by LOTR.  If Tolkien had not written this work, I seriously doubt modern literature would be the same.

I'd also like to point out that Tolkien's use of the written language was amazing.  I haven't read the books in many years, but I have skimmed through them, just to relive the beauty of the language.  Tolkien knew how to weave words together.  The following is a brief excerpt from Return of the King:

The great shadow descended like a falling cloud.  And behold! it was a winged creature: if bird, then greater than all other birds, and it was naked, and neither quill nor feather did it bear, and its vast pinions were as webs of hide between horned fingers; and it stank.  A creature of an older world maybe it was, whose kind, lingering in forgotten mountains cold beneath the Moon, outstayed their day, and in hideous eyrie bred this last untimely brood, apt to evil.  And the Dark Lord took it, and nursed it with fell meats, until it grew beyond the measure of all other things that fly; and he gave it to his servant to be his steed.  Down, down it came, and then, folding its fingered webs, it gave a croaking cry, and settled...digging in its claws, stooping its long naked neck.

Wonderful!  Ooh.  I might have nightmares!

I've read a few more modern authors who seem to think that they have a similar grasp of the written language (Christopher Paolini and Cornelia Funke immediately come to mind), and well, they just don't.  I'm not saying that they aren't good.  In fact, I enjoy their work.  I simply enjoy their work for the stories, and not the long, detailed, and completely unnecessary descriptions and/or situations that I have to work through in order to read the stories.  The problem is, sometimes I'm not sure if I think stories like this are worth all the effort and time involved to actually read them.  And that's sad.

I'm not saying description is a bad thing.  Not at all.  Small details are nice. Is it vitally important that the main character is wearing a blue shirt? No, but it's okay if an author wants me to know that, as long as he/she doesn't, for no good reason, tell me that the main character is wearing a tagless, pocketless cotton blend periwinkle blue polo with a yellow stripe on the sleeves.  If the lengthy detail about the main character's shirt was to make some kind of clear point or was necessary to the story somehow, that's fine.  Otherwise, leave it out!  See, what I really don't like is when an author goes on and on about nonessential details that don't make the story more enjoyable.


What today's authors have to understand is that most of today's readers aren't interested in major detail that 1) isn't essential or at least relevant to the plot, or 2) doesn't significantly add to the enjoyment of reading.  That means that not all excessive descriptions have to be integral to the plot, but if they're not, then they had better be stinkin' good. 

Readers, for the most part, are not stupid.  They do not need an author to figuratively hold their hand.  It insults a reader's intelligence if an author includes too many non-essential descriptions. 

Maybe it's sad that society is all about instant gratification.  Maybe it's sad that we can't sit down and enjoy a lengthy book with incredible descriptive scenes.  But honestly, I haven't read many modern books that have long descriptions that take my breath away.  Most of them just make me want to put the author in the Literary Naughty Corner.  The most enjoyable literature (Harry Potter and The Hunger Games immediately come to mind) I've read lately has a good balance of description and pace.  The authors know what they need to include without putting in too much.  They know how to keep the story flowing without getting stuck in some kind of pointless drudgery that no one wants to read.  They know how to make the characters interesting and relatable without telling us a million little details that aren't relevant to the plot.  Believe me, Paolini, I could care less that Eragon likes to shave using magic.  If it's not important, or otherwise really good, don't include it.

And just so everyone knows I'm not picking on anyone, I'm going to go ahead and say that I was once quite guilty of believing that I was J. R. R. Tolkien.  I believed I had every right to write a 175,000 word YA fantasy novel, because I was just THAT good.  No.  I wasn't.  After much, MUCH, editing, that book is now under 75,000 words.  I still have some minor editing to do, but it'll probably stay under 75,000 words.  That means that about 100,000 of the words I originally included were unnecessary. 

I'm not Tolkien.

Neither are you.

Which kind of takes the pressure off every fantasy writer out there.  I mean, no matter how awesome we are, we'll never be as awesome as Tolkien.  Just something to think about.

Settling VS. Contentedness

I don't have a glamorous job.  In fact, I have three (or four, depending on how you look at it) rather unglamorous jobs.  Today, I was covered in snot, drool, tears, pee, applesauce, and Greek yogurt.  The Greek yogurt was my own doing, but the rest was the result of caring for multiple children at the same time.  Actually, the reason I spilled my own yogurt on myself was because a kid distracted me by whining obnoxiously, but I'll let that one go. 

I haven't been able to buy a new pair of running shoes because I can't afford them.  Now, I do plan on going to Walmart tomorrow and getting a very cheap pair to use until I CAN afford to go get fitted for a nice (AKA expensive) pair, but I'd really like to be able to afford something as simple as a pair of nice running shoes so I don't mess up my knees/hips/feet too much.  Other times it would be nice to not have to worry about the tires on my car or the dwindling food supply in my fridge.  It would be nice to not worry about the little what ifs that come from living from paycheck to paycheck on a very tight budget. 

Sometimes people feel the need to have discussions with me regarding what I do for a living, because they can't figure out why in the world I keep working such random hours with germy, whiny kids for such little pay and NO benefits.  Sometimes, I ask myself the same question.  I come up with a few good answers that sound like excuses, and they might even be excuses.  Like..."I don't have experience in any fields other than childcare," or "In this economy, I really should just be grateful that I have work," or "I'm just doing this until I become a wildly famous published author."  There's another answer I have for the question, "Why in the world do I keep working such random hours with germy, whiny kids for such little pay and NO benefits?"  The answer I have is kind of surprising. 

It's because I love it. 

I did get tears and snot and slobber on my shirt and in my hair today.  It was because a kid I just so happen to LOVE was crying, so I picked him up and cuddled him while he snotted all over me.  Did I appreciate the snot?  Of course not, but it didn't matter that much to me because I got snotted when I was caring for a kid I love.  I was so grateful for that opportunity.

Does it stink that I often struggle to have enough to get by?  Yes.  But let me tell you--when I walked into work this morning and had FIVE kids attack me in a wonderful group hug, that was worth more to me than any income. 

This all isn't to say that I probably shouldn't aim higher in all areas of my life--including my career (for lack of a better term).  I sometimes just don't know the difference between settling for something and being content with what I have.  I do think that there are a lot of people out there who set their expectations far too high.  For instance, I could care less about the American Dream.  The car I have has some flaws, but it's a nicer car than I ever imagined myself having.  Sometimes I feel guilty about having a car so nice--even if at the moment it needs some repair work that I can't afford.  The apartment I live in is ancient.  Most of the people that visit it call it "quaint," and it is quaint.  But I have a roof over my head--a fan to keep me cool in the summer and an electric blanket to keep me warm in the winter.  Eventually it would be nice to have a nice house of my own so I wouldn't have to keep paying rent, but I could live quite happily in something very small.  In fact, the smaller the house, the less I'd have to keep clean.  Retirement fund?  What's that?  I plan on working until I'm dead or just completely unable to work (either mentally or physically).  Health insurance?  That would be VERY nice--but unless I have some kind of freak accident or appendicitis or something, I'm doing quite well without it.  Someday I'll get it.  I think that someday will come in a few short years--after I get my student loans paid off.  I'm okay with waiting for that.

Maybe it's because I haven't experienced a lot of the stuff that a lot of Americans think they need, but I really don't have that much of a problem with the life I have.  Sometimes it would be nice to not have to worry about finances, but God has taught me so much about trust through those struggles.  Sometimes it would be nice not to want to rip my hair out because kids are driving me crazy, but God has blessed me with these wonderful kids...and I love them so much, (even despite the snot)!  I kinda sorta think I've gotten to the point that even if I do become a wildly famous published author, I still would like to work with kids in some capacity.

Eventually I might get sick of the rat race.  Eventually I might get sick of being covered in kid goo.  Right now, I just can't seem to justify complaining about it.  When I consider that the VAST majority of the world's population lives on LESS THAN $2.00 PER DAY, it kind of makes me feel grateful for the amazing things I DO have instead of worrying or getting upset over the things I don't have.  Maybe sometimes the difference between settling for something and being content with what you have is a matter of perspective.

And you know, my current financial state gives me some small motivation to keep working towards that goal of becoming a published author.  I'm pretty sure I DO need to set my expectations higher with that. 

Fiction Friday: Christian Fiction

I have not read a lot of Christian fiction.  I'm actually still in the process of getting over a personal bias I've built up against Christian fiction.  I'm not sure where this bias has come from.  Maybe I read some bad Christian fiction in my teenage years and forgot about it, but have subconsciously built up a mental and emotional block against Christian fiction.  I think a more likely cause is that the sort of people who come up to me raving about the latest Christian romance novel they just read are not the sort of people with whom I see myself sharing literary taste.

 However this bias came into existence, I'm learning that I really need to get over it (at least somewhat--because let's face it: there is a lot of BAD Christian fiction out there).  I don't have a lot of time for reading, but last summer I did manage to read through the Dragon Keeper series by Donita K. Paul.  These are Christian fantasy books centering around a girl named Kale Allerion, who (this might come as quite a shock, given the title of the series) keeps Dragons.

Okay, so these books were actually really good.  And I'm not just saying that because I kinda sorta have a wild obsession with Dragons.  They reminded me of a Christian version of Eragon (and let me take this opportunity to say that Christopher Paolini is sitting in my literary naughty corner until I have the final book of the Inheritance Trilogy Cycle in my hands--gettr done!).


I also took the time to finally read the Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis.  But honestly, C. S. Lewis doesn't really fit the category of Christian fiction in my head.  I know that it IS Christian fiction on a basic level, but it doesn't fit the category that I still hold a little bit of bias against.  I've read plenty of C. S. Lewis' fiction and always loved it, but that's kind of because he's C. S. Lewis and amazing.

I also read a book by a Christian author named C. S. Lakin called The Wolf of Tebron. It was good and I would like to read a little more by this author, but her books aren't typically in libraries (at least not ones in po-dunk towns), and amazon.com doesn't take "I'll babysit your kids for free if you give me books" as acceptable payment.


So in the next few months, I'm hoping to read some of the Christian fiction that's available at the library in the po-dunk town where I live.  I've been meaning to read "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers for a LONG time.  I'm not sure if I'll like it, not because it's not good.  I'm sure it is.  I'm just not sure it's going to be my style.  But I love the book of Hosea in the Bible, and apparently it's based heavily on that, so it's got a good fighting chance.  I'm only skeptical because a lot of those people who have recommended it to me are the type of people with whom I doubt I share literary taste.


I'm also hoping to be able to save up to buy some of the newer Christian fiction that is available.  I've read an interesting blog about a Christian fantasy/sci fi novel entitled A Dream Before Dying: The Initiation.  That's one I am looking into reading in the near future.  You know...when I actually have spare time for reading....


I really think, though, that I need to get over this bias about Christian authors.  The reason?  Well, I think that whether I like it or not, I'm going to end up being a Christian author.  So I'd better start getting used to the idea, and I'd better start figuring out what's going on in the industry.


Do you read Christian fiction?  What are some of your favorites?  I need to build up a reading list!

SEW Sunday: Editing As Death and Rebirth

So, I've come to the conclusion that one of the main reasons I kind of mentally, emotionally, and in all other ways shut down on trying to find a literary agent in February was because I didn't want to do something that I knew (in the back of my mind) really needed to be done.  I fought against it for a while, then just decided I would sweep it under the rug and not think about it. 

Last week, I mentioned that I reread my first book and LOVED it, but I knew there needed to be one DRASTIC change.  That change has been made, which was hard for me, but it wasn't as hard as I thought.

I killed my prologue.

It's a YA fantasy, this book.  For the past DECADE that I've been working on it, it has always had a prologue.  I've always imagined it with a prologue.  The prologue was an integral part, not only of the story, but also of my image of what my introduction to the realm of being published author would look like.  I wanted the first thing people read by A. R. Campbell to be THAT prologue.  The first two words of that prologue were the first two words I wanted for my book...sigh...

But people, particularly agents, seem to not like prologues anymore.  I read more than one anti-prologue blog from agents I respect.  I'd read other agent interviews where other agents I respect discussed their hatred of prologues.  Agents know (at least a lot better than most people) what readers and publishers like.  Apparently, readers and publishers don't like prologues, either.  And I could see how I could easily incorporate my prologue into my story.  It wasn't that I didn't want to do the actual work (although, let's face it, I hate work).  My problem was that I didn't want to kill my prologue...because I loved it.

So it took me three months of pouting to finally get to the point where I was ready.  Friday, I had a day off.  I went out for a run.  I did some shopping.  I did some cleaning.  I delayed and delayed the inevitable.  Then I finally sat down at my computer and did the necessary editing, the necessary changes.

And I deleted the first three pages of my book.  The pages with the prologue.

I wish I hadn't pouted for so long, because as it turns out, I was able to reproduce much of the prologue, verbatim, within the structure of the story.  The prologue died, yes, but it was reborn into something that actually made more sense within the plot.  I had to tweak a few things.  There are still some things I will have to check and double-check (editing is hard, yo).  But, for the most part, it's done.  And my book is better for it.

The prologue is dead.  I mourn it, but all is not lost.

Okay, so that sounded REALLY dramatic and cheesy, but what do you expect?  I'm a writer....

As for writing, I'm still working on my current project.  I still don't like it, but I think I've made a small breakthrough in what I want to do with it all.  Some of my test readers are encouraging me to continue, so I'm trying to appease them, but I have to admit I'm really tempted to just shut the project down for a while and concentrate on the querying and editing aspects of my writing.

I still have a lot to do before I'm ready to start sending queries again.  I need to do some more agent research.  I need to perfect a synopsis.  I need to write and edit some outlines.  I also need to do some minor edits to the actual story.

I also want to start seriously working on a musical project--a collection of songs.  I'm not sure how well that's going to work, but I think it's worth a shot right now.

And then there's another rough draft of a project that I want to eventually try to sell.  It needs serious editing, and now I think I've distanced myself from it enough to be ready for that editing. 

Honestly, I hate hate hate editing.  It makes me see what isn't good about what I've done and forces me to destroy my previous work, some of which took me a LONG time to develop.  I've made an investment in these things that I once thought were amazing, only to find that they often don't even pass the level of mediocrity.  So I have to destroy what I once built, only to try to build it up better the second time.  Then the third time.  Then the fourth time.  As long as it takes...

Being a writer has given me some small glimpses into what it must be like to be God.  Only I'm not as patient as He is.  How many times has He had to tear us down so that He could rebuild us?  Only it's not His fault we're imperfect...we're the ones who mess up our own lives...because we try to be what we can't be.  We try to be Him.

I can't be God.  I can just be a writer, and editing forces me to realize that I'm just not as brilliant as I sometimes imagine myself to be.  As discouraging as all that sounds, I have to say that I really have been encouraged this week.  I've been reminded about how much I really do love my life and the opportunities God has given me.  I know that He's in control, so I really don't have anything to fear. 

There's still a lot of work to be done, but I've got to be honest--getting rid of my prologue was a HUGE step in this journey towards getting published.  It's gotten me back on track to do the things that I know I still need to do.  I'm not there yet, but I know where I want to go.

Now I just have to do the work it will take me to get there. 

Have I mentioned that I'm really glad I'm not God.  I mean, seriously.  I would have forgotten to make gravity, and then where would we all be?  But He's the Author AND the Perfecter.  When I really thing about it, I have nothing to fear.

...hee hee.  Bion is going to be working overtime.

Thoughts on Traditional VS. Self-Publishing

In the past few weeks, I've had some loving and well-meaning friends and family show me this article (or a similiar article) about a 26-yr-old named Amanda Hocking who has done extremely well self-publishing her books for Kindle. The article can be found by clicking here.

While I am happy for Amanda Hocking and her amazing success, I'm reluctant to just jump on the self-publishing bandwagon. As a person who has attended Southern Baptist churches all her life (and gone to three private Southern Baptist learning institutions), maybe one would think that I've just got a very Baptist mentality about everything, including publishing. "We've never done it THAT way before...." Only I have never really considered myself Baptist (I consider myself Christian and leave it at that--if you want to know more of what I believe, ask questions--don't rely on labels that often have very little truth). I try to keep an open mind to new things, and one would have to be pretty blind not to realize that the world is changing at a lightning fast pace.

There have been rumors and articles and such about the possibility of traditional publishing disappearing as self-publishing starts to become more popular. If one were to take the success of Amanda Hocking as the new norm, then the eventual closure of all traditional publishing houses would be a logical conclusion to make. However, Amanda Hocking's success is very much the exception and not the norm. This is why I grit my teeth and bite my tongue when well-meaning friends/family try to suggest self-publishing as an option for me. I KNOW they don't mean it in this way, but seriously. Every time someone suggests I try self-publishing, what that says to me is that they don't believe I can make it traditionally. They're saying to me that they think I'll have to self-publish because no one else will want me. While I know that's not really what they're saying, I wish people would think about how they might come across.

Personally, I'm just not going to feel like a published author if I don't see my book IN PRINT and ON SHELVES. I just don't think that having digital versions of my books floating around on Kindles and Nooks is going to feel the same. When reading books, I would much prefer to have the actual book in my hand. There's the feel of the book--the weight of it in my hands, the experience of actually getting to turn the pages. There's the smell of the paper and ink. There's the sound of the pages turning. All of these are experiences I love when reading a book, and scrolling down a screen just wouldn't be the same. According to this recent article, I'm not the only one who prefers actual books over a digital reader. I don't think traditional publishing is dying at all. Self-publishing may or may not be a fad. It may or may not be taking over the publishing world. But I don't think self-publishing is the same thing as traditional publishing. Traditional publishing involves more than just you (it involves people who know what they're doing and who know the publishing business), which, in my opinion, makes it more valid. If you think your writing is good, then it might be...or it might just be you. If an agent and editor think your writing is good, then yeah...it's probably good.

I am NOT trying to say that self-publishing isn't real publishing. What I will say is that there are times when it CAN be fake publishing. Amanda Hocking and others like her have proven that self-publishing can be a legitimate method of getting one's writing out to the world. She's built a strong online presence and has gathered a following. I applaud her for being able to do that. I'm actually a little bit jealous. With that being said, for every Amanda Hocking out there, there are probably about a gazillion John/Jane Does who think they can call themselves an "author" because they've self-published pages full of crappy drivel. I'm sure there are several good self-published writers out there who have put in a lot of time and effort editing and polishing their work before publishing it. I'm also sure there are several bad self-published writers who have not.

I don't have a problem with self-publishing in general. I have a problem with how easy it's become. Amanda Hocking tried traditional publishing before she attempted self-publishing. She put in the effort. It's not like she just decided "I'm going to write a book and self-publish it." She sent queries and got rejected before she went the self-publishing route--and now she's a millionaire. I have a lot of respect for her because she didn't just do things the easy way.

Now, let me also say that there's nothing wrong with self-publishing if you are just wanting to get a book out there for fun or whatever. Just please don't call yourself a "published author" in my presence unless you have some successful sale numbers to back up your claims. If you want to get something you wrote out there and have no goals of making any money or sales, then whatever. It really depends on what you want to accomplish through publishing.

I happen to have a dream of becoming a fairly successful author (and these days, a successful author can mean many different things). I don't just want to self-publish and have it done with. I want to see my name IN PRINT, my books IN PRINT, my books ON SHELVES. That's what I want. I also want an agent to represent me (because I have lousy business sense). The Amanda Hockings of the world apparently don't need agents to make a fortune and a name for themselves. I think that I do.

So I'm going to continue to try the traditional route. If the current book I'm trying to sell doesn't fly (it's my first book--first books are often dreadful), then I will look into small-time publishing NOT self-publishing. And then I'll try to seek representation for another book. Even if I go small-time on my first book (and the series that goes with it), I'm not giving up on my dream of being a successful published author.

With that being said, I have a lot of work ahead of me.

I Want To Fly

Maybe it's not good to write a blog when I'm emotional, but here I am. It's a good kind of emotional, I think. I was just reading a blog an author had written some time ago after she got her first book deal. She posted all the different stages of insane emotions she went through those first few days after realizing that she was, in fact, an author.

And then she posted a pic of her book sitting on a shelf in a major bookstore.

And I'm just now drying the tears that exploded from my eyes at the sight of that. I want that to be my book on that shelf. I want to be that person. I want to be an author. I've wanted it for longer than I can remember.

Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I get so caught up in whatever I'm dealing with at the moment that I lose the dream--the vision. As I've realized fairly recently, this is NOT my ultimate goal, but I have to admit, I want to be a published author pretty badly.

Lately...since like December...I've been in this major funk. I've written some. I've edited some. But it's not been very much. I'm not even sure what's going on. I think I've gotten into some kind of mindset that I'm just not good enough to compete with the current market. I'm not talented enough. My writing isn't good enough. I'm not competitive enough of a person.

Really, what I seem to be saying is, "I don't want it enough."

And it's really quite funny, because just today I finished writing a very short fairy tale about a peasant who became a king just because he was too simple-minded to realize that his goal was impossible. Since he didn't know it was impossible, he tried anyway, and he succeeded, shaming noble knights and wise princes.

But I'm not like that peasant. I get too distracted by the things I think I can't do to focus on the things that I need to just do anyway.

Clearly there needs to be a change. If I'm ever going to see my book on a shelf, if I'm ever going to see my name on a book's spine, if I'm ever going to be able to call myself an author--I've gotta start trying.

Douglas Adams is one of my favorite authors. He wrote the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is a completely nonsensical and hilarious series of books. One of my favorite sections of these books is when he talks about how to fly.

Now, he's being completely ridiculous, but I have gleaned a lot of truth from what he wrote:

"There is an art...or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.... All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt. That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard."

What do published authors have that I don't have? A lot of scars. Unless they're Stephenie Meyer, who just lucked out on her first try and created a monster (literally and figuratively...and literary-ly), published authors probably have to fail to miss the ground a lot before they learn to fly.

So here I am again, trying to muster up the courage it's going to take me to learn to fly. I know I'm more than likely to fail to miss the ground. I just hope that I'm trying hard enough to fail to miss it pretty hard. Because I have a feeling that when I finally do fail to miss the ground, all the failed attempts are just going to make that success sweeter.

And here's the part of the blog where I remind myself of something that is impossible for me to grasp: Nothing is impossible with God. If I can ever wrap my brain around that, I guess anything will be possible.

Progress Report

I just completed chapter nine of my fourth book. I had hoped to be done with chapter ten by today, but all in all, I can't complain. I'm making pretty good progress. Conceivably, chapter ten could be the halfway point. I'm not exactly sure how many chapters this book is going to have. I thought it was going to be a little shorter than its prequel, but who knows how long-winded I might become in the next few chapters.

I'm learning a lot, though. Since I haven't worked on a brand new book-length project in several months, I'm really relearning how much I enjoy writing. It's truly what I enjoy doing most; it's what I was meant to do. When you find that one thing, it's just...wow! No words to describe it. It's like the planets aligning or something. It's like in the movie "Chariots of Fire" when the main character is talking about how when he runs, he feels God's pleasure. I know what he means. When I write, it's like I can feel God's good pleasure just coursing through me. It's not something I'm necessarily intentionally writing or doing at the moment to glorify God. There's nothing anyone can necessarily look at and say, "Yes, I can see how you're spreading the love and truth of Christ here in this writing" (although I hope that I am). It's just that process, that moment when something beautiful is being created, that I believe makes the angels stop and say, "Whoa...." It's just glorifying to God because it's something He's doing in me...wow, in me...and that something is good. Mmm.

And I'm relating to my characters and feeling their emotions and hurting with them in their pain. And that's just something awesome to me. Again, writers just have a glimpse of what it must be like to be God. We know what's happening to our characters. We feel their pain, we care, but still make them go through it. We know that they have to go through the pain to get to the resolution, and what's on the other side of that resolution is better than what they had before. If our characters were alive and aware that their lives were being written, they would probably have some trouble trusting the author.

And I have trouble trusting the Author.

I've been reading a lot of posts on Twitter and some other places about books. Plus, I've been reading a lot. The book I'm working on and its prequel are both what I'd classify as YA Fantasies. What's trending in YA right now is what I consider to be a lot of fluff. And I'm not a fluffy writer. I like for my writing to have purpose and integrity. While I do try to make what I write fun (I DO like kissing books), I just don't like to be overgratuitous. The story and the characters are what I focus on the most, not the fluff.

And my fear is that my books just aren't going to do well because they aren't fluffy.

But I need to put that fear aside and do what I know I'm meant to do. This story I've been writing, this non-fluffy story, has been a source of pleasure. I believe it to be good pleasure. I believe it to be God's pleasure. And if God's good pleasure is the only thing that comes out of the writing of this story, then that is sufficient. I just have to trust Him with the rest of it.

After all, He's a much better Author than I am.

I AM a Writer

I was at church the other day, when I happened to spot my friend Heather. I walked up to her and gave her a hug, as I tend to do. She hugged me back, then turned to one of her friends who was visiting.

"This is my friend Ruth," she said happily. "She's a writer!"

For some completely bizarre reason, this caught me off guard. I think I did a double, perhaps even a triple take before finally nodding to Heather's friend. "Yes," I replied uncertainly. "I'm a writer."

I've been writing since I was about eight years old. True, I've only been seriously writing for the past nine years or so. I've only been actively writing for the past four years or so. I've only been purposefully writing for the past two years or so. Even so, I should be well accustomed to the fact that, yes, I am a writer.

The thing is, when I meet new people, I don't typically introduce myself as a writer. If they ask me what I do for a living, I tell them I work with kids. Maybe, if we talk long enough, I'll mention my writing. I wonder why that is.

There's probably several explanations. I don't always like the reactions I get from people when they first learn I'm a writer. Some are really nice about it, and some TRY to be nice and fail. What bothers me the most is when people hear I'm a writer and immediately say, "Oh, wow! Will you let me read your stuff?"

Um...that just makes me feel as though that people think I'm not ever going to be published. Yes, you can absolutely read my stuff, once it's available for the you and the rest of the world to read. Ugh, seriously...it's such an awkward question for an aspiring writer to be asked. It's almost as awkward as the question, "So what do you write about?" Shudder.

I think another reason why I don't automatically tell people I'm a writer is that I'm still getting into this mindset that this is the life I want. I want to be a writer--nay, I want to be an author. The two words carry slightly different meanings. I can be a writer right now, but I can't truly be an author until I've gotten something published. And honestly, the idea of being an author, while exhiliarating, is also quite frightening. It's work; real work. I didn't really understand that until I started looking into it. Even if I snag an agent, I'm going to have to continuously write and meticulously edit and probably do some publicity/marketing stuff--yikes. I have no idea what it all involves, because I'm not there yet.

But I need to get into that mindset.

So my challenge for myself is that I won't be surprised when friends introduce me to people as "a writer." ...in fact, I'm going to take that one step further and try to introduce myself as a writer. It's part of my identity, and I really need to start acting like it.

AFTER THESE MESSAGES, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

My friend James Cogdill has written a book called Project 19: The Blazer Saga, which is for sale at www.blazingbushpublishing.com I have not read it as of yet (just ordered my copy), but I've read his other books. He is an excellent storyteller. His stories are imaginative and well-written. He's particularly good with action sequences (which I'm slightly in awe of, because my action writing tends to be one of my weaknesses). I highly reccommend that you go to www.blazingbushpublishing.com RIGHT NOW and purchase a copy of Project 19: The Blazer Saga. You should also buy copies for all your friends and family members...even your crazy Uncle Steve.

I have a feeling that the name James Cogdill will become much better known in the near future. Wouldn't it be cool to say you were reading him before everyone else? Yes. Yes it would. So buy his book. Kthx!